Sins of Sarah

by Anne Styles

  Charles shuddered. 'She's eighty-seven now, and she still tells me off when I go to see her.'

  'She still tells me my hair needs cutting,' sighed Nick.

  'Which it does!' Charles grinned.

  'We had au-pairs,' Sarah said. 'George used to chase them like mad. They were always leaving in floods of tears. Daddy used to really yell at him!'

  'I can't imagine George Campbell doing that,' Charles commented, 'from what I know of him. I've met him a few times recently,' he explained to Nick.

  'No, well, Maggie is far too strict with him - but then he's old now. Oh, sh . . .!' She put her hand to her mouth in horror. George was a year younger than either of them, and Charles knew it.

  'Well that puts us in our place!' He laughed at her discomfort. 'Would you two like a liqueur?' Since Charles was driving back. Nick ordered his favourite malt. Sarah declined, so Charles ordered more champagne for her. She smiled to herself. So much champagne in a few weeks. Life was changing. Even she was changing, and beginning to feel very differently about Nicholas Grey.

  'Penny for them?' Nick broke in on her thoughts and she blushed hotly.

  Charles had gone to speak to some friends and they were alone. Sarah recovered her composure and gave him a wicked grin. 'Maybe one day I'll tell you, but not now!'

  'From that one grin, I think I can guess,' he told her.

  Sarah fervently hoped he couldn't! She wondered if he was flirting with her, but, shrugging, she put it down to the wine. She wondered again, however, when he elected to sit in the back seat of the car with her. She'd got in the back automatically, assuming he would sit at the front with Charles. But a few minutes later she was laughing.

  'You'll never believe this,' she said to Charles in amusement. 'Nick is fast asleep!'

  'I would,' Charles told her. 'He did a night shoot in town last night, because someone was ill. I don't think he went to bed at all.' Nick's head was thrown back awkwardly. Instinctively Sarah reached over to ease him into a more comfortable position, and to her surprise he moved, settling himself against her, his arm going across her waist, though he was obviously fast asleep.

  'So much for my sex appeal,' she commented drily. 'I seem to be better as a pillow!

  Charles had watched the almost maternal gesture through the driving mirror, feeling helpless to intervene. Even asleep. Nick managed to hold her full attention. 'I think your sex appeal is working perfectly,' he assured her. 'But even you couldn't compete against total exhaustion!' Sarah leant back against the seat with Nick nestled into her shoulder, his dark hair soft against her cheek and lemony scented from the shampoo he used, his thick lashes dark smudges on his face.

  He had shed both jacket and tie as they had left the restaurant, so she was suddenly all too aware of the taut muscle pattern of his body as he relaxed against her, his breathing slow and even. And as she held him steady she realized just how good it made her feel. She shivered to herself as she remembered how his gentle kiss after the cast dinner had affected her for hours afterwards, and the same warmth flooded through her now.

  Oh, God! she thought with panic - Was this what falling in love felt like? But surely not with Nick, of all people!

  Too old - too married - even if he did have a strange married life! And yet she was relishing the sweetness of holding him, the spice of danger that his waking would bring, and she found herself longing for the drive to go on for ever.

  But after twenty minutes or so Charles was pulling up at her hotel, and she was forced to disengage herself from Nick. He only stirred briefly, before settling back again. 'He'll kick himself for missing out!' Charles said cheerfully, covering his chagrin, as he escorted her to the door.

  'Heavens! Don't tell him!' Sarah was horrified, and then saw he was laughing. 'I hope you can wake him up when you get home.'

  'If not, he can sleep in the car! Goodnight, Sarah.' He kissed her mouth gently, the first time he had done so. She smiled at the embarrassed way he drew back, and laughingly returned his kiss. It meant about as much as kissing James on set to her, but it meant victory to Charles, who drove back to Hastings Court in triumph.

  Sarah desperately wanted to talk to Cress about her evening, and had got used to gossiping with her late into the night. But as she paused outside her door before she knocked she became aware of James's voice over Cress's laughter, and she drew back, half-jealous, half-relieved that the two had finally got together.

  * * *

  The next morning she had thrashed her way through a dozen lengths before Nick appeared. He dived in beside her and they raced to the deep end without a word. 'I owe you an apology,' he said at last. 'Charlie tells me I fell asleep on you last night. I'm very embarrassed - I'm sorry!'

  'That's OK.' She smiled. 'You didn't snore! But he also told me why, so I wasn't surprised. You work too hard, Nick.'

  'I'm well aware of that.' His voice was sharp, and she drew back instinctively. 'There are reasons for it, Sarah, believe me.'

  'I expect there are. Nobody works themselves to death without a reason,' she commented quietly. 'Come on - best of five, then I must go.' She launched off from the edge, determined to beat him, but tired as he was he still managed to be half a length in front of her. 'One day I'll beat you!' she threatened, laughing, and splashing him as she reached him.

  Nick laughed and cheerfully splashed her back as she dived underwater. They surfaced, gasping for breath, laughing and teasing. He had a hand on her shoulder and for a split second she thought he was going to kiss her.

  She found herself wanting him to - then he seemed to shake himself away from her. 'Go on, you minx, go and see Ronnie. I'm paying for his overtime after all,' he told her. 'You're doing an old man no good at all!'

  'Less of the old,' she retorted as she swam for the side. 'My father was your age when I was born!'

  'God forbid! Now move!' She had rattled him considerably. He had been sixteen himself when Sarah was born, married to Diana before she had started junior school, and yet he had to admit to himself that he was very drawn to her, even if he was not totally sure why. Probably more to do with Charles's absolute devotion to her, he thought shamefacedly as he went upstairs to change. And yet, the more he learnt of Sarah, the more sure he was that she would be hopelessly wrong for Charles. He would never hold her bright young spirit.

  Under his easygoing exterior, Charles Hastings was a coldly determined man, with very strict ideas about what he expected from his partner. It would be his first marriage all over again, and Nick shuddered when he remembered what Charles had done to Natasha in his determination to make her conform to the pattern of the wife he felt his position required. Natasha was the one thing he had never forgiven Charles about, and he never would.

  CHAPTER 7

  As if to prove something to himself. Nick was exceptionally hard on Sarah for the rest of the week He knew he was fighting the attraction he felt for her, but the crew were furious at his attitude, and by Friday they all hated him for her sake.

  They had a difficult scene that afternoon, and Nick knew he had to finish it or call all the artistes back on Monday - which was impossible and expensive. None of them was getting it right for him. John was far too much of a gentleman to throw Sarah as he was meant to, in a vicious argument, and even Ben, a normally competent actor, was having trouble with his lines. One of the arc lamps was playing up too, and they had to wait while another was brought up from the lighting store. It was a night scene, with a real fire in the grate, and the room just got hotter and hotter.

  By five o'clock he was seething. They were on take fourteen, when he normally considered six a maximum, and they still had a shot to do. 'Whoops!' muttered Ronnie to Cress, as Nick swung across the room to John and Sarah. 'Get the fire extinguishers, he's about to blow!'

  'For Christ's sake, John, get it right!' Nick roared, beside himself with frustration. 'She's your daughter and she's disobeying you. You're fighting for a fortune, not asking her for something trivial! Throw her, for God's sak
e - don't just push her! Look, like this!' He seized Sarah by her shoulders and literally hurled her to the floor. 'And you - scream at him - don't just whine!' Sarah picked herself up painfully.

  'You bastard!' she yelled at him with a furious glare, as she rubbed at the shoulder he had just bruised.

  'That's more like it!' snapped Nick, and strode behind the camera. 'We'll end-board it. Action!' Whether it was Nick's insults or just luck, they got it right that time. John threw Sarah almost as hard as Nick had done, and Sarah burst into floods of tears as she shouted her lines back at him from a crumpled heap on the floor, throwing John completely.

  Nick didn't let up for a second. 'Stay there,' he ordered Sarah, while they moved the camera forward.

  She could hardly believe this was happening. Dazed, she lifted her tearstained face to the camera, now only inches from her face. 'Rehearse on film,' Nick instructed. Patti had glycerine ready but Sarah didn't need it, tears fell without check as she said the lines required. There was an agonized pause as she finished, then Nick said quietly, 'Cut. Print the last two.' Both Alex and Ben moved as he said it, but Nick was faster. He swept the still sobbing girl up, totally ignoring the startled and furious crew. 'I'm sorry,' he said, for the second time that week. 'I didn't mean to hurt you.'

  'No, you just had one of your stupid paddies to wind me up!' she spat at him. 'You're a complete swine, Nicholas!'

  'I suppose I deserve that,' he sighed. 'I am sorry, Sarah. I'll make it up to you, I promise.'

  'Oh, just get lost, and give us all a break!' She was suddenly aware of all the people around them, and embarrassed at the intimate way he was holding her.

  'Gate clear,' the camera operator interrupted.

  Alex glanced at Nick for a nod. 'It's a wrap. Eight o'clock Monday in the pavilion,' he announced.

  Sarah jerked away from Nick's grasp. 'Have a nice weekend, Mr Grey,' she said sarcastically, and ran from the room, desperate to get away from him. To think, a few days before she had decided she might be in love with this man!

  Even Cress couldn't pacify her. She refused point-blank to let anyone look at her hurt shoulder, and went straight to her dressing room, calling impatiently for Joanna. 'I just want to get out of here,' she said, when Cress remonstrated. 'How dare he treat me like that? And don't tell me it's just his way. He ought to bloody well know better!' She scrubbed her make-up off and thrust her legs into her jeans. Joanna produced sweatshirt and trainers without a word, for her to yank on, and not bothering to do more than throw a brush through her hair she swept out, her car leaving deep tyre-marks as she gunned down to the gates.

  'Well!' said Cress as Joanna picked up the clothes Sarah had thrown to the floor. 'I think Nick may have met his match there. But if she treats her clothes like that again, it'll be my tongue she'll get the worst of. I didn't think she had it in her, she's normally so easygoing.'

  'Be fair. Cress.' Joanna put the dress on its hanger. 'He's been a pig to her all week.' 'Well, they can fight their battles in their own time,' Cress grumbled, finding torn lace on the shoulder, as she had expected. 'This damn thing will have to be repaired before Monday, sod it!'

  'I'll take it home with me,' Joanna offered. 'Calm down, Cress, go on, take the weekend off for once. Are you doing something nice?' Cress cheered up and thought of James, waiting for her at the hotel with their bags already in his car.

  'Yes,' she said. 'As a matter of fact, I am.'

  * * *

  Sarah was joining Peter, and their friends Suky and Johnny, for the weekend, on the boat Peter's father kept at Lymington. She was almost in Lymington before she could truly say she had calmed down. At least, she thought, there was little chance of Nick finding her for forty-eight hours.

  'Right!' she announced as she swung herself and her bag down into the main cabin of the boat. 'Tonight I am going to get absolutely smashed, I warn you!'

  'Bad day, was it?' Peter enquired, raising a lazy eye-brow.

  Sarah threw herself at him. '0h, just don't tell me I wanted to be a film star,' she moaned. 'I've had it!'

  'A few jars will put it right,' counselled Johnny. 'Let's go to the pub.'

  * * *

  It was a gloriously hot weekend, with just enough breeze to move the boat along once they were out of the harbour on Saturday morning. Peter and Johnny were both skilled sailors, and all the girls had to do was provide food and drink at regular intervals. Luckily Suky had done the shopping in a blitz on Marks and Spencer, so there was very little to do except sunbathe.

  Sarah made the most of it. They got very little sleep and just let rip, creating chaos in two pubs simply by appearing in the bar. On Sunday night she ignored the fact that she should have returned to Hastings Court and carried on partying, figuring that if she left early enough she could be back before her hair call. Johnny lifted the step that led down to the cabin and produced more bottles of champagne, which sent them all into a new bout of hysterics. Laughing and teasing, they drank several, and Sarah, unusually, fell asleep in a surprised Peter's arms, albeit fully clothed, soothed to sleep by the boat's gentle rocking.

  At the crack of dawn, it seemed, Suky quite calmly dragged her up, despite her protests, poured coffee into her, and almost threw her into her car. 'For God's sake, don't get stopped,' she begged.

  Sarah kissed Peter through the car window, and waved miserably as she drove off. She had one heck of a headache, and it got worse as she approached Hastings Court. She could barely remember the code as she pressed into the control pad. It took two attempts before she got it right. Cressida and Ronnie ran out to meet her as she parked her car behind their headquarters.

  'Where the hell have you been?' demanded Cress, hauling her out of the car. 'You should've been back last night and Nick's been doing his nut!'

  'Screw him,' said Sarah, as coolly as she could manage, and ran straight into him as she walked into Make-up.

  'At this moment I don't think you'd be capable of it!' Nick thundered, grabbing her by the arm. 'Leave this to me, Cress.' He dragged Sarah unceremoniously into her dressing room and, slamming the door on Cress's anxious protest, threw her on the bed. 'How dare you come back here in this state?' he yelled at her. 'How on earth can you be drunk at this time of the morning?'

  'I'm not drunk!' Sarah protested weakly, though she was still having problems focusing. 'I've got a bit of a headache, that's all.' Her head was spinning and she drew back as Nick leant over her, beside himself with anger, his eyes blazing.

  'I warned you what would happen if you messed me around again,' he told her ominously. 'And I meant it!' He was past being rational by that time. Furiously, he dragged her off the bed and shook her hard, so hard that it jarred her teeth. Stunned for a second, she stared at him in disbelief as he dropped her again. Tears of humiliation began, pouring down her face, uncontrolled.

  'And don't try that one!' he warned. 'I've just about had it with you. I won't tolerate it, Sarah - not from anyone on this unit and certainly not from a child like you. Now get dressed! We've wasted enough time and money this morning as it is.' With that, he slammed out into the wardrobe room.

  'Get her dressed!' he ordered Cress icily. 'And don't sympathize with her. She doesn't deserve it, frankly. Pour some black coffee into her and get her on the floor in half an hour, or she's really for it!' Ronnie and Cress ex-changed horrified glances and Cress ran in to Sarah to find her sobbing on the bed.

  'He hurt me, Cress,' she wept. 'He shouted at me just because I was late. I'll sue the bastard, I swear I will!'

  'The hell you will! You were late and you are drunk,' Cress hauled her to her feet. 'Grow up, Sarah, you deserved it! What the hell do you expect? Especially after Harriet's accident - and you know you drive like a mad-woman sometimes. He was frantic about you. We all were. This film rests on you. Remember that!' Shaken, and horribly embarrassed, Sarah managed to pull herself together, and somehow Cress, Ronnie and Patti succeeded in getting her onto the set in the pavilion, dressed and made-up in the time Nick
had allowed them. He was icily sarcastic, and the atmosphere was strained all morning.

  No-one on the crew dared to intercede on Sarah's behalf, and she struggled not to burst into tears again every time he turned his sarcasm on her, knowing, shamefacedly, that she deserved every rebuke he threw at her.

  Only James, irrepressible as ever, dared to challenge him, folding her into his arms when they broke for coffee, ignoring Nick's furious glare.

  'We all get the treatment sooner or later,' he soothed. 'He'll get over it, sweetheart.'

  'I should live so long!' Sarah moaned into his chest, grateful for his sympathy.

  'Don't let the bastard get to you.' James grinned. 'You take it all far too seriously!' His solicitude helped enormously, and by lunchtime her headache had eased. But, unable to face food, or the sympathy of the crew, she sought the sanctuary of the Winnebago they were using as a dressing room down by the pavilion. Wearily, she shut herself in the bedroom and lay down on the bed, her eyes closed against the light, longing for just half an hour's peace.

  Five minutes later she opened them to find Nick leaning over her. 'Oh, God, no!' she moaned, rolling away from him, shielding her head. 'No more rows. Nick. I can't take much more.'

  'I haven't come to row,' he assured her. 'I came to see if you were OK.' Her instinctive recoil made him feel really guilty - doubly so after the angry row he had just had with Cress over the treatment he'd handed out to her. She had ended by literally ordering him to sort it out, and, well as she knew him. Cress rarely dared to lose her temper with Nick.

  'I would be if I was left alone for five minutes,' Sarah snapped. 'Oh, I'm sorry, Nick. I didn't mean to be late, I honestly didn't. Things just got on top of me. I really can't cope any more.' Nick sat on the bed beside her and pulled her towards him, holding her in a grip that left no room for manoeuvre. But in her low state she had no energy left to fight him anyway. The relief that he wasn't shouting was enough. She leant her head on his shoulder in a gesture of defeat, and as he felt her relax against him he instinctively stroked her hair, gently, as he would a child.