Wild Sexy Hurt

by Serena Grey

  Listen to him.

  Long after we ended the call, I lay on the soft cushions of the porch swing, watching the water as it came and went in the eternal movement of seas and oceans everywhere.

  Listen to him.

  No.

  There was no explanation for the devastation he’d caused me.

  He’d pursued me from the first because he had something to prove. He had demanded my full surrender because me using him for casual sex wasn’t as much of a victory as him getting me to lower all my defenses and offer him more than I’d ever offered anyone else.

  That was the only explanation.

  For how long?

  I heard him again, vividly, as if he was right beside me. I heard the emotion in his voice and remembered the entreaty in his eyes. My heart squeezed in agony, and I closed my eyes.

  For how long?

  “Go away, Jason,” I muttered under my breath, rejecting the illusion of clairaudience. I wasn’t Jane, connected with my Mr. Rochester across the vastness of betrayal, distance, and hurt. I was just some girl who had been lied to and was now suffering for it.

  Listen to him.

  I unlocked my phone, and without giving myself a chance to change my mind, I unblocked his number.

  It only took a minute for the messages to start pouring in.

  The first few were from that morning after Amy had confessed. She’d called Jason even before I left the apartment, and he’d tried to reach me. After I’d blocked his number, he’d kept sending me messages I never received.

  Every day after that, he sent messages to tell me he missed me, to tell me how much I meant to him, to ask me to give him a chance, to let me know he hadn’t lied about his feelings for me.

  As I listened, my resistance melted away, and I started to cry.

  Jason called while I was still listening to the messages, almost as if he’d been waiting for me to unblock his number and had somehow known when I did. I stared at his name on the screen, unsure of what to do. Listening to his voice on my phone, telling me over and over how much he missed me had utterly destroyed me. I didn’t trust myself to speak to him without breaking into pieces.

  The phone stopped ringing then started again almost immediately.

  I swiped my finger across the screen and lifted it to my ear.

  “Daphne.” He only said my name, and a sob built in my throat. I missed him. I missed him so much it hurt physically, all the way to the core of my soul.

  “Hi,” I managed shakily. “Hi, Jason.”

  I heard him exhale. “I wasn’t sure you would take the call,” he said, the relief in his voice palpable even on the phone.

  “I wasn’t sure I would,” I replied.

  There was a long pause. “Where are you?”

  “On the beach.” I breathed. “Watching the sunset.”

  “Tell me where.”

  I told him, knowing as I did that he would come, and I wanted him to. I wanted it more than anything.

  “I’m on my way,” I heard him say.

  My voice was soft, almost inaudible. “You don’t have to come.”

  “I do,” Jason replied, no doubt in his voice, only certainty. “I have to.”

  After we hung up, I remained outside, watching the sun sink below the horizon. Any other man and I would entertain the possibility that maybe he wouldn’t really come, but Jason…Jason was the kind of man who always followed through.

  Back inside the house, I took a shower to wash the sand and sea from my body then dressed in yoga pants and a ribbed vest. I waited, on edge, not sure what to do with myself as my whole being focused on his impending arrival. I paced the house. I tried to read. Finally, I put on a robe, walked out to the beach, and gazed at the water as the balmy breeze blew my clothes and hair about.

  I’m not sure how long I stood there, watching and waiting as the sea soothed my nerves and the cool breeze sank into my bones. I didn’t hear the car, only the faint sound of my phone ringing from back inside the house. Just as I turned away from the water, I saw Jason round the corner of the house. He took two steps toward the porch then stopped when he saw me standing on the beach.

  I stood still, frozen in place as my heart lurched and my body thrilled in response to his presence. For what seemed like an eternity, we just looked at each other across the distance of our separation. I had no idea how to reach across, but Jason did. He had never been a man to stand on ceremony, not when he knew what he wanted. He strode toward me, every step purposeful, and without a word, he took me in his arms.

  I melted into the warmth and strength of his body, knowing without a doubt that there in his arms was where I belonged. They were tight around me, his strong biceps tense as he crushed me gently to his chest. I closed my eyes, giving myself up to him. He was what I wanted, and it was futile to fight it. I didn’t want to, not anymore.

  He held me for a long time, his lips in my hair and his hands on my back. After a while, he stepped back and cupped my cheeks in his hands as his eyes roved my face. There was a probing question in his gaze, and I replied by lifting my face up to his. His lips captured mine, warm and tender, lighting a spark inside of me that brought me burning back to life.

  I sank my fingers into the silky waves of his hair and opened myself to him. He tasted me, his tongue probing deep into my mouth, each lick against my tongue stoking the flame of surrender burning through me.

  When he broke the kiss, I was trembling, and tears hung heavy in my eyes. “Jason,” I whispered his name, my voice breaking.

  “Shhh.” His voice warmed my senses. “You’re cold,” he murmured, bringing my hands to his chest.

  “You’re warm,” I replied with a small laugh. I was almost giddy with happiness and shaky from the riot of emotions storming in my mind.

  He chuckled, and I stared at his face, overwhelmed by how much I’d missed the sound of his amusement.

  “Daphne,” he whispered my name softly and then he gathered me into his arms again, his body shaking as he held me tight against himself. “Let’s get you inside,” he murmured, lifting me into his arms as if I weighed nothing. I didn’t protest as he carried me back into the house and set me down in the living room.

  He dwarfed the space, his powerful frame and magnetic presence making the room seem to orbit around him. Already, he owned the place just by being inside.

  I let my eyes roam over him, the way I hadn’t been able to in the past weeks. He was wearing a sweater and jeans. In the casual attire, he should have looked less commanding, less sexy, but that wasn’t the case at all. He was a god, and nothing could ever take that away.

  “Nice place,” he commented, glancing around the room.

  “Mhmm.” I took a step back from him, almost panicked at how easily I had surrendered to him. He’d hurt me, made me cry. I needed him, but I also needed to get some sort of handle on my feelings.

  “How did you get here so fast?” I asked.

  “Desperation.” He laughed, and his gray eyes held mine. “I caught a ride on a chopper then drove as fast as I could.”

  I stared at him. “A chopper? It’s not as if I was going anywhere.”

  He took a step toward me, his eyes boring into mine. “You were already gone, Daphne.”

  And now, I was his again. I tore my eyes away from his. It didn’t matter that I had already forgiven him, that I was powerless to hold on to my rejection of him. I still needed an explanation, a reason to take the final step into trusting him again.

  “I listened to your messages,” I told him. Every single heart-tearing, agonizing one of them.

  He exhaled audibly. “When?”

  “Just before you called.”

  “Every day…every day, I hoped you would finally give me a chance…” He paused. “It was torture knowing you hated me so much you didn’t even want to listen to what I had to say.”

  “I didn’t feel like I could trust you.”

  “You can.”

  “I want to,” I said breathles
sly. “I want to believe everything you said that night.”

  “You can. This is not about sex for me. I want to be with you, and it consumes me how much I want us to be together, in every way it’s possible to be.”

  I swallowed, my chest swelling with all my emotions and desires, but still, I held myself back. He sensed my hesitation, and he drew in a deep breath.

  “It was a joke, Daphne. I had zero intentions of seducing Amy’s roommate, whoever she was. I made a joke and forgot about it as soon as the conversation was over, and then…I met you, and I could no more stay away from you then I could tell my heart to stop beating.”

  “You…” I sighed helplessly. “At the exhibition, I told you I was staying away from men and sex, and you acted like you had no idea.”

  “Daphne.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I couldn’t tell you then that I knew something so intimate about you, not because I wanted to get you into bed, but because I was drawn to you, and if you knew Amy had told me something like that, you’d have been embarrassed around me, mad at Amy… I didn’t want you to run in the opposite direction.”

  “I felt like it was all a game to you, and you wanted to make sure I fell for you because it wasn’t enough for you to just have sex with me, not after I told you about my sexual history.”

  Jason frowned in disbelief. “Daphne,” he said, his voice serious. “You have to understand that your past means absolutely nothing to me, except that it makes me certain I always want to be here for you. Being with you was many things, but it was never a game.”

  “I don’t know what to think,” I said softly.

  He took a step toward me then stopped. “You listened to my messages.”

  I nodded.

  “I didn’t lie.”

  “I want to trust you…”

  “Then do.”

  I shook my head, and he closed the distance between us, coming to stand right in front of me. I closed my eyes as my senses surrendered to his nearness.

  “How do you feel about me, Daphne? Do you feel like there’s a connection that goes deeper than what we can see or touch? When we’re apart, is there an open wound in your heart that nothing can relieve?

  I closed my eyes.

  “Because that’s how I feel,” he continued. “I’ve been dying without you.” He took my hands in his. “Tell me you want me to stay.”

  Some part of me remained desperate to run away, to hold on to that part of myself that had always been alone, but I couldn’t. My heart knew what it wanted, and it wanted Jason. Without even trying, he had lodged himself deep inside my soul, and I knew I could never be complete without him.

  “I don’t want to walk away,” I said softly, shaking my head. “I can’t, not from you.”

  His chest expanded. “Then don’t.”

  I met his gaze, and his eyes darkened as they roved my face then he lowered his head and claimed my lips.

  His kiss was hot, yet tender. My whole body flamed and soared with the fulfillment of being so close to him again. His arms came around me and pulled me tight into his chest, and then he released my lips and gazed at my face.

  “I love you,” he said softly. “I love you, Daphne.”

  I felt my heart expand at the words, and tears stung my eyes. I met his gaze so he could see the truth in my eyes when I said the words back to him.

  “I love you, Jason.”

  He smiled, happiness lighting up his features and making him look even more perfect. I lay my head on his chest and listened to the thud of his heart, happier than I’d ever been in my life. Somewhere behind me, the remnants of my shattered walls lay abandoned, but I didn’t care.

  Chapter Four

  Jason held me for a long time. I’d missed that, being held in the strong circle of his arms. I closed my eyes and inhaled, filling my nose with the faint spice of his cologne and the manly scent of his skin. I could stay forever in his arms and it wouldn’t be enough.

  “I love you.” I repeated the words, just to feel them coming out of my lips. Jason looked at me, and his sensual lips curved in a smile as he dropped a soft kiss on my mouth.

  “I missed you,” he said softly, the tenderness in his voice soothing my soul. “I missed you so much. You’ve become a part of me, Daphne. Your sassy mouth, your teasing, your dancing, your romance-novel-obsessed, no-panties-wearing self.”

  A chuckle escaped me. “I am wearing panties,” I protested.

  “Today you are.” He shrugged powerful shoulders, amusement lighting up his face. “Tomorrow, who knows?”

  “You wish I was bare,” I retorted, laughing.

  He kissed my nose then my lips, lightly at first, then deeper. He tasted my mouth and made a sound in his throat like he’d been hungry for this moment. I knew exactly how that felt. I’d experienced the same desperation to touch him again, to feel his lips on mine.

  I curved my hands around the back of his neck and drew his face closer as his hunger called out to mine. Our tongues danced, teasing, tasting, needing.

  He broke the kiss and touched his forehead to mine, letting out a long breath as his arms tightened around me. “I’ve been fucking dying. Don’t leave me again.”

  “I won’t.” I stroked my fingers through his thick hair, my whole body still tingling from his kiss. “Kiss me again,” I murmured.

  He smiled. “With pleasure.”

  His tongue slid hot against mine, and I lost myself in the urgent need to give him everything. He lifted me off my feet, still kissing me, and only when my legs were wrapped around his waist did he break the connection.

  His eyes bored into mine. “Where’s the bedroom?”

  I showed him the way, and once there, he laid me on the soft queen bed that, up to that moment, had only served as a place where I tried to sleep while fighting torturous memories. Now, with him here, I couldn’t wait to replace those memories with the exquisite pleasure I knew I would find in his touch.

  He took off his sweater and jeans then joined me on the bed, dropping soft kisses on my lips, my face, and my neck, all the while stroking me gently through my clothes. He peeled them off slowly, kissing every inch of the skin he exposed.

  “Beautiful,” he murmured as he trailed kisses down from my neck to my chest. “So beautiful.”

  I breathed the words into my lungs. I’d never felt as beautiful as I did when I was with him. He made me feel like every inch of my body was perfect.

  He caressed my breasts, palming each one gently while he tongued my nipples, licking them lightly then sucking on them in turn. He spent a lot of time on my breasts, stroking them, licking every bit of soft flesh until my nipples were hard and stretched.

  “I could do this all day,” he said with a crooked smile, lifting his eyes to meet mine.

  “I wouldn’t mind,” I panted, my breaths coming short. If he spent much longer on my breasts, I’d probably orgasm from that alone. I needed him, but I also wanted to give him everything he wanted.

  He came up and kissed me again, and then while his tongue was tasting mine, he slid his hand down my body and cupped me between my legs. I was slick and wet, and his fingers slipped between my lips, stroking gently, mimicking the movements of his tongue in my mouth.

  Heat and desire suffused every cell of my body. I moaned and spread my legs wider, giving him all the access he needed.

  “I love your body,” he breathed in my ear, still stroking me with his fingers. He slipped his middle finger inside me, and a sigh escaped my mouth as my hips rose to meet his touch. “I love the way you react when I touch you.”

  My body clenched sweetly around his finger. “I love the way you touch me,” I gasped. He slid another finger into me, and my head fell back on the pillows.

  “Daphne.” He whispered my name then kissed me again. I sighed when he pulled his finger out of me and started trailing kisses down my body, down over my belly, my thighs, and then finally, his head was at the juncture of my thighs. He parted my legs, taking a moment to meet my eyes.
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  I blew out a weak breath and moaned his name moments before his tongue touched me. He moved my legs farther apart, drawing his tongue over me in sweet firm licks that made my toes curl in indescribable pleasure.

  I could barely breathe. My body quivered as his tongue stroked me almost leisurely. His lips fluttered over my clit one moment and in the next, he was tonguing the pulsing entrance to my core. His touch was perfection, and I could hardly bear the pleasure. Soon, my body was jerking off the bed, wild moans tearing from my throat as he held on to my hips and sucked me through my explosive climax.

  “Oh, God!” I cried out when he finally let me go. My legs were trembling, my throat hoarse from my cries of pleasure. “Oh fuck, Jason!”

  He laughed and drew a finger over my sensitive center, making my body quiver, then he rose to hover over me. “I love the way you shake when you come. It’s like a mini-earthquake.”

  I laughed shakily. “I figured there had to be a reason why you liked making me come so often.”

  He chuckled, and I drew my fingers across the angle of his cheekbone then down over the firm column of his neck and finally to his chest. I spread my hands over the light dusting of hair that covered the hard ridges of muscle, and my fingers tingled.

  “Oh, Jason.” My voice was soft. I wanted to be with him like this forever. I wanted to explore every part of him. I wanted to open myself up to him in ways I never thought were possible, to lose myself in him, become one with him in a way that meant nothing would ever come between us again.

  He could sense the intensity of my emotions. “Tell me,” he urged.

  I shook my head. “I don’t know how to say it. I love you, but it’s much more than that. I feel like if I’m not a part of you, I’m not complete.”

  “You are a part of me,” he said hotly. “Always. Without you, I’m not complete.”

  I sighed. “Kiss me again.”

  He obliged then rolled down beside me and stroked my face. “I could look at you all day.”

  I shrugged. “Well, I’m pretty.”