Miz Scarlet and the Bewildered Bridegroom

by Barton, Sara M.

  “Gunnar writes that he’s glad they don’t have that kind of relationship.”

  “Aren’t we all,” said the daughter of the Queen of Clean and the spitball king. “What else does he say?”

  “That’s it.” I handed her the sheet of paper so she could see for herself there was nothing else there.

  “Well, unless the bride has some sort of deep, dark secret, that’s a dead end,” Larry decided, placing the note on the side table with an air of dismissal. “Any chance I can get a cup of coffee? Maxie and I, er...slept in this morning.”

  After so many years of working side by side, the two former partners had finally given in to their romantic urges. These days they were making up for lost time on the weekends Larry’s daughter was at her dad’s house.

  “Sure. I’ll be back in a jiffy. I should get started on the rooms anyway. They won’t tidy themselves.” Larry was already hunched over in the chair, typing rapidly on her tiny keypad. I set the paperback down on the chest by the door on my way out.

  I dispatched Jenny to the third floor to start cleaning, while I went down to the kitchen to fetch Larry her breakfast. Pulling out a tray, I grabbed a blueberry muffin from the plastic bag in the bread drawer and plated it, and then I grabbed a mug from the cabinet, added some cream and sweetener, and poured coffee from the thermal carafe. Something was nagging at me, but what? My mind went back to the story of how Annalee and Gunnar had met.

  He talked about how amiable Annalee’s divorce was, about how her ex-husband was a genuinely nice guy. What if that was all a myth? What if the former husband was jealous and wanted to ruin Annalee’s marriage? Would he be willing to kidnap her on her wedding day? Stranger things had happened to other brides, so I wasn’t sure we could just rule that out. Then again, maybe the ex-husband really was as nice as Gunnar said. We needed some kind of clue to point us in the right direction, and the only way we’d get it is by looking for it.

  Larry was standing at the window, her back towards the door, when I brought the tray upstairs. I set it down on the ottoman, giving her a discreet cough to signal my arrival. She put up a hand and made a waving motion in the air. With a shrug, I left her to her investigative efforts.

  But I only got as far as the top of the stairs before I stopped in my tracks. Something was different about the Red Oak Room. What had changed? That paperback book, Reluctant Witness, was no longer on the chest by the door.

  Maybe Larry had it, I told myself. That would make sense. She probably wanted to examine it more closely. I ducked back into the room for a second peek. Larry hadn’t moved. She was still deep in conversation. The paperback was nowhere in sight.

  How could a book just disappear in such a short time? A glance at my watch told me eleven minutes had passed since I went down to fetch some breakfast for Larry. Reluctant Witness didn’t walk away on its own. Someone must have snatched it. Why would someone risk getting caught by an experienced investigator like Laurencia Rivera? Was there something important hidden in that book?

  Even as I let my imagination run wild, something told me to yank on those reins and pull that horsie back onto the trail. This wild theory of mine was all wrong. No, this had nothing to do with Karin Frenlind and her rich boyfriend. I wasn’t even convinced it had anything to do with an ex-husband. This mystery had something to do with Annalee herself.

  I continued down the hall to the White Oak Room. I might as well clean while I figured this conundrum out.

  Jenny found me there a few minutes later. “I’m done with the third floor. Where do you want me to go next?”

  “Why don’t you do the Black Oak Room? I’ll deal with the library when I finish here.”

  Fifteen minutes later, I popped into the living room, where my mother was keeping an eye on two rather rambunctious boys, wrestling on the floor. I shook my head when she looked up.

  “Nothing yet.” I grimaced. “How are the boys?”

  “Active,” she replied drolly. “Have you seen Scrub Oak anywhere? He’s disappeared. I can’t say that I blame him.”

  She nodded in the direction of the Pinault boys. Kevin was wriggling on the floor, trying to escape Kyle’s attempt at a headlock.

  “I’ll keep an eye out for him,” I promised as I left the room.

  I had finished the library and was in the small attached bathroom when I thought I heard a meow. The feline howl got louder when I opened the shower stall door.

  “That’s odd.” It’s not like there was any place for the cat in this tiny space. But there was plenty of room on the other side of that wall. “That rascal must be in the cloakroom! How did he open the door?”

  It didn’t take a genius to realize that Scrub Oak’s talents didn’t extend to working the Victorian hardware with his paws. Dread filled me as I tiptoed down the hall. After all, there had once been a murder at the Four Acorns Inn. I had been present when the door swung open and the victim’s lifeless body was discovered. Was this a reprise of that nightmare?

  By the time I reached the door of the cloakroom, my heart was pounding hard. I took a deep breath as my shaking hand gripped the glass knob and slowly, silently turned it. With a quick heartfelt prayer to the heavens above, I steeled myself for the task at hand and yanked open the quarter sawn oak door.

  The sight I found stunned me. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. When those determined fingers reached out and grabbed me, pulling me inside, I offered no resistance.

  “Hurry up!”

  It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the small glow of a flashlight once the door shut behind me. I found a spot on the floor and sank down, totally baffled. Scrub Oak brushed up against my knee, looking for a place to nap.

  “I just want you to know I feel really bad about this,” said Annalee Pinault sincerely. “I never intended to deceive anyone.”

  “Why are you in here?” I was more than a little confused. What was she doing in the closet with Scrub Oak?

  “I don’t want to lose Gunnar. I can’t lose him!”

  “The man’s crazy about you,” I responded, my confusion growing by the moment.

  “Look, Scarlet, you’re young. You’re attractive. But me? I’m...well, let’s just say I’m older than you. When I found Gunnar, I knew I hit the jackpot. I couldn’t risk losing him.”

  “And you think you will because....”

  “If we get married today, it won’t be legal.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “You know that story Lacey told about Edna and Big Larry getting married? The marriage was invalid because she lied about her age.”

  “You lied about your age on your marriage license?”

  “No, no. Lord knows I’m well over the age of consent. No, it’s more complicated than that. I...I realized that the marriage to Gunnar won’t be legal if we get married today.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “My divorce actually becomes final tomorrow. I realized that after we set the date, but I didn’t dare change the arrangements. I was afraid I’d lose Gunnar. I figured I was fudging it by just a few hours, so what was the big deal? But then Lacey and your mom told us Edna’s story and I started to think about the legal implications of all this. And then, when I was reading my paperback, one of the characters found out she wasn’t really married to the man she thought was her husband. I guess I just panicked.”

  “You have to tell Gunnar, Annalee. He’s worried sick about you.”

  “I know. I will. I just need some time to figure this out.”

  Scrub Oak purred contentedly next to me. I reached out to pat him as I pondered the situation.

  “Can I ask you a question, Annalee?”

  “You want to know how I could be so dumb?” she asked, her frustration and self-loathing raw and painful as they surfaced.

  “No, I was actually more interested in knowing when you are legally able to remarry.”

  “Ironically, June 8th. Isn’t that a kick in the seat of the pants? All this wonderful planning
was for nothing.”

  “Why don’t you just wait until tomorrow for the ceremony? We can push things back a bit,” I offered.

  “Everyone’s here to witness our marriage vows today. I can’t ask my family to postpone their own plans. Vic already booked passage back to Long Island on the noon ferry. And Van has to fly out to Chicago tomorrow afternoon for a big business meeting. This weekend was the only choice we could all agree upon between now and September; that’s why I decided to keep my mouth shut.” She wiped away a lone tear. “Oh, who am I kidding? This is a disaster. I wanted a romantic occasion we would treasure forever, not some messy screw-up of a wedding. I really blew it.”

  The trouble we’d had at the Four Acorns Inn over the last two weeks was really scary, but this situation? To me, it was a lot of fuss about nothing. After all, nobody died.

  “Hmm...” I bit my lower lip, considering a solution. “What if we worked our way backwards, Annalee? We could have the reception first with cocktails, dinner, and even a little dancing. And then, at the stroke of midnight, we could have a candlelit ceremony in the garden. How does that sound?”

  “Oh!” The bride burst into tears, big, wet tears that cascaded down her cheeks. The next thing I knew, she was hugging me like I was the only life preserver left on the Titanic. In her eyes I saw the recognition that here was a light at the end of the tunnel. It was worth a shot, wasn’t it?

  “I’ll take that as a yes. Now, let me give Larry a call.”

  “Oh, no! Isn’t she a cop?”

  “She is, but she’s a cop with a heart. Don’t worry. We’ll get all this straightened out.”

  Larry joined us in the cloakroom moments after I called her and soon put Annalee’s fears to rest. “If it’s any consolation, this isn’t official police business. As far as the Connecticut State Police are concerned, nothing happened here. I came in my capacity as Miz Scarlet’s friend, to help her search for a missing guest. We’ll chalk this up to wedding jitters on one condition.”

  “What’s that?” Annalee’s eyes were now dry.

  “I get to attend the wedding, so that I can vouch for the legality of your marriage, just in case anyone decides to question it.”

  “Absolutely!” Annalee laughed, a gasp of relief escaping from her lips. Her face relaxed, making her seem ten years younger. “Thank you, thank you, oh thank you so much!”

  “You’re welcome. Now, let’s go find the groom and tell him you’re safe and sound.”

  We got all of ten feet down the hall before Annalee went into panic mode. She froze in her tracks.

  “What if he says he’s changed his mind? What if he refuses to marry me?”

  “That’s doubtful.” said the trained investigator. “I questioned him for some time. I had to, just in case he was behind your disappearance. He’s nuts about you.”

  “He’s a standup guy,” I added. “He knows you really well. He insisted you would never leave your cell phone behind unless something was really wrong, and he was right about that.”

  “He’ll be so disappointed in me,” Annalee sniffed. “He’s such a straight arrow. He never seems to falter.”

  “It will be his loss if he fails to go through with it,” Larry replied matter-of-factly.

  “He’d be a fool,” I agreed. “Anyone can run into a technical glitch. The important thing is you want to fix it.”

  “I deal with killers and criminals every day. I’ve met a lot of skilled liars,” Larry informed her. “It wasn’t your intention to deceive the man. It all kind of snowballed on you. Planning a wedding will do that to the sanest of us. You two just have to adjust and move on.”

  “Besides, someday you two will see the humor in this story,” I pointed out. “Who else gets married at midnight?”

  Gunnar burst through the door three minutes later, his face tight with worry. The rest of the gang was on his heels. As the crowd assembled in the vestibule, he spoke.“Where is she? Is she okay?”

  “She’s fine. The bride just experienced a case of nerves,” I smiled encouragingly. “She’s still talking to Larry in the library. Why don’t you join them? We’ll give you some privacy. Come on, folks. I’ve got ice tea to wet your whistle.”

  “That’s my mother we’re talking about!” Vic protested. “I want to see for myself that she’s okay.”

  “Trust me, she is.” I put a hand on his shoulder, steering him toward the dining room. “She’s more than okay. She’s getting married.”

  And sure enough, she did. Once Larry explained the facts to Gunnar on Annalee’s behalf, they went over the legalities of adjusting the plan. As long as the justice of the peace declared them husband and wife after midnight, they were all set. The paperwork would reflect they were married on the date the Commonwealth of Massachusetts determined she was a single woman again.

  Annalee invited all of us to the ceremony. “You’re like family now. We want you there.”

  “We couldn’t have managed this without you, Scarlet. You’re the real hero here,” Gunnar announced, even as I insisted it was nothing out of the ordinary. “Thank you for making this a happy occasion for us.”

  Bur and Shark Boy got busy setting up more chairs for the extra guests. When that was done, they headed up to the attic and dug through storage boxes in search of more holiday lights to illuminate the garden festivities at the stroke of twelve.

  “More bling!” Lacey instructed them as she inspected the garden. “You can never have too many sparkly lights!”

  Kenny and Max got to work placing their security cameras in strategic locations throughout the garden, not to catch bad guys, but to capture the wedding from several angles. Zak promised to edit the raw video footage on his computer.

  Laurel and Lacey were thrilled with the romantic ending to what was almost a disaster. They were already looking forward to our next celebration.

  “It’s a great story to tell our prospective clients,” Laurel remarked, satisfied with the outcome. “It proves we know how to put on a great wedding!”

  We laughed and ate and danced as the sun went down. Little Melissa and Lisa went to bed just after eight. Kyle and Keith adjourned to the third floor just after nine. Under a starlit sky, as music filled the air, the party continued in the garden. We danced to the songs of Cole Porter, Irving Berlin, and the Beatles. Ellie brought everyone to tears when she talked about how delighted she was that her father had found a new love and that she hoped to forge a friendship with her stepmother that would last a lifetime.

  Annalee’s sons escorted their mother down the path to the white wicker arbor at the bewitching hour, under a twinkling canopy of white fairy lights draped over the branches of the trees that lined the stone walkway. Mark Pritchard, who turned out to be a decent man, led the couple through their vows. We all cheered when they were pronounced husband and wife at seven minutes past twelve. As soon as the signatures were official, Gunnar and Annalee made their farewells.

  “Thanks for coming, everyone,” the groom called to us as they made their exit through the door of the sun porch.

  “See you in the morning!” his new wife added.”Don’t forget we’re having brunch!”

  Just after one, Kenny kissed me goodnight on the front porch. “So, what time should I be here in the morning, Miz Scarlet?”

  “Brunch is scheduled for eight.”

  “I’m not talking about brunch. You’re not going to try to weasel out of our deal, are you?”

  “Deal?”

  “You’re going to sing my praises at the top of White Oak Hill,” he reminded me. “I promised you I’d get your guests through the wedding in one piece. I held up my side of the bargain. Now it’s time for you to reward me.”

  “Ah, that.”

  “Yes, that!”

  “Well, I guess you’d better get your fanny over here for breakfast, Captain Peacock. I wouldn’t want anything terrible to happen because you counted your chickens before they hatched.”

  “And you think something else migh
t happen?”

  “You never know,” I shrugged. “We could have some maniac break in at dawn and then where would you be? Why, there’d be no apology whatsoever!”

  “Is that your only reason for wanting me to show up?”

  “There’s that and the fact that I like having you around.”

  “I can understand that. After all, I’m a pretty smart fellow with a good sense of humor. But in terms of solving this case, it was....”

  “...Another brilliant piece of detective work on my part,” I teased. I was at that very moment considering whether I should write my apology on the top of a chocolate-raspberry torte or do it on a hazelnut-mocha dacquoise. “I did, after all, find the missing bride and I got her down the aisle in one piece.”

  “And you did this all by your itty bitty, teensy weensy self?” he demanded sternly, still waiting for his share of the accolades.

  “Well, I did have some help with Karin and her friends,” I acknowledged with a smile, wrapping my arms around his waist. “But as for saving the Pinault-Magnusdotter wedding at the last minute....”

  “It was all thanks to Miz Scarlet...in the cloakroom...with a flashlight!” he laughed.

  Author Info --

  Sara Barton is the author of several cozy mystery novels and novellas, which are light-hearted “whodunnits”, along with some spy thrillers with a much darker edge. In addition, she provides family caregiver education as The Practical Caregiver.

  Contact the author: sarabartonmysteries@gmail.com

  Author’s blog: http://sarabartonmysteries.blogspot.com

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  Scarlet Wilson Mysteries By Sara M. Barton

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  Miz Scarlet and the Vanishing Visitor: A Scarlet Wilson Mystery #2 (eBook novella)