You Before Me

by Lindsay Paige

  My body starts to relax as I open my eyes to see Ryan sleeping peacefully. The length of my night plus a long work day hits me hard and soon, I'm asleep.

  * * *

  A hand is tangled in my hair, slowly playing with my curls, and my pillow is moving underneath me. As I start to wake up, I realize my head is lying on Ryan's breasts. At some point, she became my pillow, and I'm hugging her to me. I open my eyes and see that I'm correct. I lift my head to see a smile, and Ryan's gleaming green eyes, her hand sliding to the side, but still twirling a curl around her finger.

  She giggles, making me smile. “You sleep like a girl. I couldn't even cuddle with you because you decided to use me as a pillow.”

  “Sorry,” I say as I go to move away from her.

  “Don't you dare, Gabe. Your hair is too soft, and I'm not done touching it. Lay back down, please.” She gives me a sweet smile, so I do. Her fingers start moving once more, and it's kind of soothing.

  “What time is it?”

  Before she can answer, her bedroom door opens. A girl walks in, sees us, and starts backing out, obviously surprised to find me in here with Ryan.

  “What the hell, Viv?” Ryan asks annoyed.

  “Sorry!”

  “I'll be right back.” Ryan leaves me in bed and on her way out, she says, “This is the second Sunday in a row you've barged in on my Me Day. It's never anything that you couldn't text me about either.”

  Me Day? Ryan leaves the door halfway open, and I can still hear their conversation.

  “Sorry!” she repeats. “I didn't know you had company. Who is that?”

  “Why are you here? Do I need to get my key back?” Ryan's tone is slightly threatening.

  “You weren't answering your phone. I wanted to make sure you were okay after last night, but I can see that you are more than okay.”

  I toss the covers aside and get up. There's no sense in me hiding in the bedroom. Ryan sees me first, her mouth parted for whatever she was about to say. The girl, Viv, turns around as I walk up to them. With her traveling eyes, I wish I had a shirt on. When I reach her, I hold out my hand.

  “Hey, I'm Gabe. You're the friend who called me, right?”

  “Yeah, that'd be me. Nice to finally meet you.”

  Ryan grabs her shoulders and starts pushing her towards the door. “Viv was just leaving.” Ryan walks with her all the way to the door. “Stop coming over on Sundays, Vivian. I mean it.”

  “Bye,” she calls over her shoulders before Ryan closes the door behind her.

  “Sorry,” Ryan says, coming back to me. She takes my hand and leads me back into her bedroom. “We'll pretend she was never here.”

  I laugh. “What's so special about Sundays? You said something about a Me Day?”

  Ryan crawls into bed and pulls me on top of her. “On Sundays, I spend the day here all by myself. I mostly relax and sometimes take a bubble bath.”

  Grinning, I say, “So I must be special then, huh? To be here today?”

  “Really special.” Ryan leans forward with a smile and gives me a little kiss. “It's noon, by the way.”

  Noon? Wow. I haven't slept in that late since I was a teenager.

  “Do you want to spend my lazy day with me? We can lay here all day.” That seducing smile is back, her arms wrapping around my neck.

  I dip my head and kiss her neck. “Mmm,” I hum against her skin, “that is tempting.”

  “Please don't let there be a 'but'.”

  A chuckle escapes me. There were some things I wanted to do today before I headed to my parents for dinner, but most of the day is gone already. I could still get everything done, though. Lifting my head, I look at Ryan with a smile.

  “You are too adorable and hot all at the same time. It's ridiculous, you know that, right?”

  I laugh again. “That's good to know. And there's no 'but'. I just have to leave in a few hours to get to my parents in time for dinner.”

  Her stomach rumbles beneath me, and her eyes widen. “How about you tell me about your family while I fix breakfast?”

  So we head into her kitchen. I lean against the counter near her, but far enough away that she can move freely without me getting in the way. She asks if I like omelets and when I say yes, she begins to fix two.

  “Anything in particular you want to know?” I ask, but she shakes her head. Where to start? “Well, my mother is a stern, religious, old-fashioned woman who would like to have family dinners every Sunday to make sure that we'll still come around. My older brother, Keith, doesn't live around here, so it's kind of hard for him to make it. I go whenever I don't have to work. My father is strict, but he's more openminded than my mother. I think that would be the best word for it. He's more willing to bend rules than she is, which is ironic considering his job.”

  Ryan nods like that fits whatever image she had in her head. I can't see what she looks like because she's facing the stove. “What about Owen and Keith? What are they like? I mean, I know I met Owen, but that was only for a few minutes.”

  “Keith pretty much fits the bill of what you would think an FBI agent would be like. When he's home and away from work, he's much more relaxed and more like my brother. And Owen is a good kid. Good grades, great football player, and a kind person with lots of dreams.”

  “Does he want to go into law enforcement too?”

  I shake my head, even though she can't see me. “No. Well, that's not his top pick anyway. All he can think about right now is making it to college to play football.” Ryan's foot moves to rub against the back of her calf on her other leg, effectively distracting me from whatever I was about to say. Her legs are amazing. They will be the death of me, I'm sure. Ryan says something, but I don't catch it. “What?” I ask, not taking my eyes off her legs until they turn around.

  Ryan laughs, realizing why I didn't hear her the first time. “Gabe, I asked if you would get the drinks. I'm almost finished.”

  “Oh, okay.” I push off the counter and go to the fridge. “Water or Sunkist?” I say, even though I already know the answer.

  “Sunkist. The water is only in there for any guests who don't want my drink of choice.”

  I turn to face her with a raised eyebrow. “And you have guests over often?” There are only about three water bottles left, and I grab one.

  Ryan narrows her eyes at me. “What are you implying, Gabe? But to answer your question, Viv hates Sunkist and as you saw, she's here a lot.” She takes the plates and sets them on the kitchen table before walking away.

  I put our drinks down, take a seat, and wait for her to return. She comes out of her bedroom with her phone and hooks it up to a speaker system.

  Over her shoulder, she says, “I listen to music all the time, but especially on Sundays. Today, I'm in the mood for my Back in the Day playlist, if that's okay?”

  “Sure.”

  I wonder what songs she would classify as “back in the day.” The very first song is Stevie Wonder's “Superstition”. Okay, I wasn't expecting that, especially for someone her age. The music plays as a soft background noise. Ryan comes to sit down with me, and we start to eat.

  “What are the other men in your family like? You said that y'all get together every month to go shooting, right?”

  “Yeah. We're simply a bunch of very competitive men with too much testosterone. I mean, it is a group of men shooting guns, talking smack, and throwing in a dirty joke every now and then.”

  Ryan laughs lightly. “That actually sounds really fun. With the things that come out of my mouth, it's easier to be around guys than girls sometimes.”

  “Build Me Up Buttercup” comes on, and I'm continuously surprised by what music is on her phone. “We're getting together this upcoming weekend. We can still get a private lesson in first. If you wanted to go, that is.”

  Ryan watches me while we eat silently. She's quiet for so long that Elvis' “Jailhouse Rock” starts playing before she answers. “Okay, sure. But even if I have fun when I'm with you, I don't kno
w if I want to participate with your family.”

  “Fair enough. I think you'll like it though.”

  “What makes you say that?”

  “Kind of hard not to enjoy it. You'll see.”

  Tina Turner starts singing some song I've never heard about the rain. When we finish eating, we put our plates in the dishwasher, and I excuse myself to the restroom, taking the opportunity to brush my teeth as well. I step out and hear The Temptations. Faintly, I hear Ryan singing “My Girl” as well. She has a pretty voice, but once she hears me coming, she stops.

  “You didn't have to quit,” I whisper in her ear when I come up behind her, grabbing her hips.

  She giggles. “I didn't think you heard me.”

  “I did. You're good.”

  “Helps when I've taken singing lessons before. I'll be right back.”

  She disappears down the hall to the bathroom, and I sit on the couch, noticing she threw away the forgotten popcorn from last night. Chuck Berry starts singing “Roll Over Beethoven”. I have to say I like her choices, and I'm impressed she has an entire playlist of songs like this. As I sit on her couch, I realize that I'm still shirtless in her apartment. That I slept here last night. I haven't figured out a lot about Ryan, but what I know so far has kept me coming back to her. Odd doesn't begin to cover my behavior, but I can think about that later.

  Ryan comes back, but instead of sitting next to me, she straddles my lap, her hands resting flat on my chest. I instinctively hold her hips, trying not to let my hands wander down to her bare legs that are now seriously begging me to touch them.

  “I've been thinking about something,” she says. By that familiar look in her eyes, I know her mind is in the exact spot as mine.

  “Oh yeah?” I question, my pulse already speeding up. I vaguely realize that “Let's Get It On” comes on.

  Ryan realizes it because she laughs, clearly cracked up by the song. “I think my playlist is conspiring against us.” I chuckle and she continues in a softer, no longer focused on the music, voice, “I've been thinking about these.” Ryan lifts a hand and places the tip of her finger in the middle of my bottom lip. “And this,” she says, moving her hands over my chest, up to my shoulders. Then she starts going down my arms, gently squeezing my biceps. “And these too.” Ryan lets her hands go all the way to my own. She plucks them from her hips, my hands lifeless in hers, giving her complete control. She holds them up before intertwining them with hers. “Last, but definitely not least.” Inch by inch, Ryan leans forward until she is close enough to press her lips against mine. “But mostly these.”

  She kisses me then, just as slow but even more intense then last night. There's too much sexual tension between us. I'm already turned on, and Ryan knows it because her lips lift a little against mine as she rests fully in my lap. These basketball shorts aren't hiding anything either. Ryan tastes minty, but the longer we kiss, the more I taste her. She lets go of my hands to hold onto my shoulders instead. My own don't even bother going back to her hips. They head straight for those toned thighs of hers that I want wrapped around my waist.

  The silky smoothness of her skin disorients me more than anything. I have just enough clarity to keep my hands from exploring because the moment they do, I'll be lost in her again. Ryan withdraws from my lips, kissing my jaw, before going to my neck. That beautiful shoulder is in front of me, so I start from the right, kissing and sucking my way to the crook of her neck while her lips travel to nibble on my ear.

  “Gabe?” She breathes.

  I hum against her shoulder in response.

  “Let your hands move.” I feel her hands over mine, lifting the fingers a little. “Your grip is too tight.”

  That clears some of the haze, and I pull away to see her giving me a small smile. “Sorry.”

  “It's fine.” The moment clashes as Aretha starts singing about respect. Ryan sits upright, looking down at our hands, and I lean back into the couch. After a moment, she peers up at me from underneath those lashes, her red hair framing her face perfectly. “I'm sorry. I don't mean to keep putting you in situations where you feel the need to restrain yourself. I'm not exactly used to people holding back. Am I really that bad that you would feel guilty about me? Because that's how you felt after our date, isn't it? I don't understand why you keep coming back if I made you feel that way. I-”

  “Ryan, stop talking.” I intertwine our hands again. “You didn't make me feel guilty. I made myself-”

  “Because of what you did with me,” she interrupts, her voice monotone. The next thing out of her mouth is full of emotion though. “What you're most scared of, Gabe? That's practically me. I'm not the kind of girl that guys show off to those who matter to them. I'm the You-Only-Need-One-Date girl, and before you even say something, I'm perfectly happy being that girl. My point is that you, your hopes, dreams, and personality are the complete opposite of the kind of girl I am. That's why I don't understand why you're here.”

  I think carefully about what she said before I respond. “I'm here because you are more than a type or kind of girl. There's always more to a person than that, and you aren't excluded. I know that there is more to you than sex and more than a personality that keeps you in a certain category.”

  “But you're concerned,” she interrupts again. Softly, she curiously adds, “Can you tell me what about me has you worried?”

  “You really want me to tell you?”

  “Of course. It's good to be aware of my faults.”

  My brows come together, confused. “Your faults?”

  “Just tell me, please.”

  “These things aren't your faults, Ryan. It's what makes you who you are, and I don't see anything wrong with that.” She nods, but I can tell she doesn't believe me. “But if you really want to know, I'll tell you. All of these things scare me, sure, but I like these things about you too, okay?” Once she nods, I continue. “You're beautiful, and you have a very tempting and gorgeous body. It's almost too much considering your age. You know how to use this body very well and being pulled over when you're half naked doesn't bother you at all. Then there's how I'm six years older than you and that wouldn't sound so bad if your age didn't end with 'teen'.

  “You're still in college while my lifestyle is way different than that. I'm done with that part of my life, and you're in the middle of that part for you. Ryan, sometimes, I have no clue how to handle your personality. But I like it. That's all that matters.”

  Ryan's green eyes study me, with “The Gambler” of all songs playing in the background. For a moment, I worry that I've said too much. “Okay,” she finally says.

  “Okay?”

  “Yes. I can understand you better now, and that's really all I wanted to accomplish.”

  “Good.” I lean forward to kiss her gently. She smiles, and my eyes catch sight of the clock on the wall behind her. I will have to leave in about two hours. “You said you take bubble baths?”

  “Yeah?” She questions, not knowing where I'm going with this.

  “I will have to leave soon, but I can go start the bath for you.”

  “Oh, thank you.” Ryan slides off my lap and onto the couch.

  I get up and go start our bath. Yes, I said our. Never have I taken a bubble bath, but this feels like something I should do with Ryan. Thankfully, her tub is deep and wide enough for us both. At least, it looks that way. Once there is enough water and suds, I turn off the water and quickly undress. Just as I get comfortable, I hear “You Make Me Feel Like A Natural Woman” start playing.

  “Gabe? Is everything-” Ryan walks into the bathroom, her eyes wide. “Okay?” She finishes, tilting her head to look at me.

  “I've never had a bubble bath and these suds,” I cup some in my hand as evidence, “looked like too much fun, so I thought I'd join you.”

  Ryan slowly smiles. “I'm not sure if there's enough room for us both.”

  “There is.”

  That's all the push she needs. Ryan bunches the hem of her shirt in
her hands and slowly lifts it up and over her head, dropping it carelessly to the floor. Then she shimmies out of her bottoms, becoming completely and boldly naked in front of me. How she already has a body of a goddess, I'll never know. Even her tattoo on her hip seems meant to be there. Ryan steps into the tub across from me, lowering herself into the steamy water. Her hands find my knees and then travel up my thighs as she comes closer to me.

  Her hair falls forward, the tips getting wet and sudsy. Ryan bites her lower lip before closing the distance between our lips to kiss me. It doesn't last nearly long enough, which is probably a good thing. She pulls away from me to turn around, her back tattoos partly on display. She slides back against me between my legs, our knees peeking through the bubbles. I'm already hard, and Ryan knows it.

  “The point of this is to relax,” she whispers, leaning her head backwards to rest on my left shoulder.

  I let my lips brush her ear as I say, “Are you not relaxed?” My fingers are twitching to touch her and leave their current place on the sides of the tub. I move them to her shoulders, moving downwards under the water, deciding to stop once I've reached her hips.

  Ryan's cheeks lift when she smiles, her eyes closed. “Not yet. Give me time. I was just telling you, Officer O'Connor. You seem kind of stiff,” she bubbles out a laugh.

  Smirking, I ignore her comment. My fingers begin to thrum on her hips, and I start moving them up her stomach. My thumbs just barely brush over the underside of her breasts. Ryan's eyes open.

  “We're supposed to be relaxing,” she mutters, turning to look at me.

  I grin. “Isn't that what we're doing?”

  “Nope. While you are very tempting, Gabe, I've decided I don't want to have sex with you.”

  My hands return to lay flat on her stomach. “Oh yeah?”

  “Not today anyway. You've inspired me.”