Club of Virgins

by TorreS, Pet

  “I think it is good!”

  We smiled at each other.

  I could not see myself without Denise’s friendship. We had been friends from our teenage years. When Denise lost her virginity, I was the first person to know about it, just as she was the first person to know when I lost mine. She was the only one to know about it. Our secrets were kept only between us.

  There was never a third person between us.

  Chapter 16

  Presentation at College Field

  Peta

  Due to the Cultural Anthropology Work, we students of history had to do a presentation where the topic was a dance inspired by the Dutch culture. We had to do a performance of a dance called Haketone.

  The space was packed with people. There were several tents with Dutch food and workmanship inspired by the Dutch culture.

  In the front of the stage were several girls and guys dressed in costumes for the Haketone dance. The women were dressed in long skirts, petticoats, blouses decorated with pleats, lace, buttons and strips and aprons. The young men wore a typical costume called 'Klepbroek'.

  The accordionists were also wearing the costume used for the Haketone dance.

  After the speech of the college dean and some of the faculty members, the dance finally started.

  I looked at the audience and saw Denise. She smiled at me. She was wearing red lipstick on her lips. She lifted her hand and looked around, trying to show me that the field was full of people. But my eyes searched for Natan. I still had not seen him.

  After a few seconds, I saw someone standing close to the front. He was dressed in a dark shirt and dark jeans and was near a couple who were next to the stage. It was Natan. His eyes were paying attention to me all the time during the dance. He could not watch the dance as a whole. His attention was absorbed only by my body’s movements on stage to the sound of the accordions. There was a young man who was my partner during the dance and he was dancing in front of me, holding my hand. We had to smile and exchange glances constantly. This was part of the dance.

  Natan witnessed everything.

  He seemed to become nervous during the presentation. His hand reached his nape and scratched it several times. After that he put his hands into his jeans’ pockets and shrugged at the same time as he watched us.

  Natan did not seem satisfied with that presentation.

  With the end of the dance, I came down from the stage and walked through the university field. I looked at the place where Natan was standing during the presentation but he was gone. I turned my body sideways and glanced around at the stalls and the crowd of people but did not find him.

  I kept walking. My head was spinning. I looked all around. I wanted to find him so much. I wanted to make sure he was still there, waiting for me.

  It was then, looking ahead, that I saw someone leaning on a dark car parked in the university car park. He had his arms crossed over his chest and was staring down at the floor. During my approach he did not look up at me.

  “Natan,” I muttered as I stopped before him.

  He raised his head and looked at me seriously. He seemed annoyed. His melancholy gaze analyzed my costume and then he looked to one side, quickly removing his gaze from my image that clearly upset him for some reason.

  “I hated that presentation,” he confessed coolly.

  “Why?” I approached him more and stopped before him. Natanael raised his head and looked into my blue eyes which I had outlined with black pencil.

  “I felt jealous to see you dancing with that guy! You two exchanged smiles and intimate looks, I ...”

  He shook his head and looked away.

  “What bullshit!” I shook my head. “All that was part of the dance and for your information that guy has a fiancé.”

  Natan looked at me again. His anger seemed to diminish. I took another step forward and came face to face with him. Natan’s hands held my face on both sides and he confessed to me, “I want you to be my girlfriend!”

  “Girlfriend?” I asked.

  I smiled, quite surprised. We didn’t know each other well and I felt that Natan was being quite forward. I did not know if something serious between us would be the best decision to be made.

  “Yeah!” he said looking into my blue eyes. “I want you to be my girlfriend.”

  Chapter 17

  Natanael

  After the presentation I took Peta home in my father's car. As always, she convinced me come into her house and as always I couldn’t refuse her invitation. There was a very strong chemistry between us which prevented our bodies from wanting to be separated from each other for a long time.

  Peta opened her front door but she had no time to turn on the light in the living room. The house was dimly lit. She closed the door again behind us and when she turned to face me I came up close to her, pulled her by the waist and surprised her with a kiss on the lips.

  Our tongues dueled. Peta opened her lips against mine and moaned into mine softly. My hand held the sides of her face and I kissed her with a burning desire, in order to know where all that fire would take us and how far we would burn with it.

  I crossed my arms over her lower limbs and brought her up, her legs crossed at the top of my waist. Peta could feel my erect penis even inside my dark jeans. I knew that because she looked at me and smiled. Not ungluing my lips from hers, I walked with her to the couch and sat down with her on my lap.

  I closed my eyes and rested my neck against the body of the sofa when I felt Peta start rolling over me. Quickly she pulled the shirt from my body and started kissing, sucking and biting my nipples. I firmly held her by her hair and pulled to bring her face to my mouth up to mine. My tongue slid down her chin and then back up her lips.

  She groaned into my mouth.

  Peta lifted her head and stared at me in the eyes then she began to slowly unbutton her lacy, white blouse with ribbons. My eyes were fixed on her finger’s movements.

  She removed her shirt from her body and then she unhooked her bra back and brought it down slowly. My eyes were on a pair of beautiful breasts with a few freckles and with rosy nipples.

  Without interruption, my face slammed into them. I began to lick them in full after biting them carefully.

  Peta moaned softly and strongly held onto my straight, dark hair.

  “Make me yours!” She whispered and her hands went down to my waist and opened my belt. She unbuttoned my jeans and lowered the zipper. Her hand came into my pants and felt my hardness in her palm.

  “I want you to make me yours tonight!” She whispered touching her lips to my left ear and then thrusting her tongue into it. I shuddered and released a groan which I had tried to contain.

  “I cannot!” I exclaimed and quickly took her off my lap.

  Peta looked rightly confused and then frightened and protected her breasts with her own arms.

  “What’s wrong?” She asked confused.

  I bent forward, leaned my elbows on my knees and stared at the floor, trying to get control over my breath. My desire to continue that artful game was so strong. I so wanted to take Peta in the direction of the bed and make her mine as she had begged me.

  “I cannot go to bed with you,” I confessed looking at the floor through my open knees.

  “Why not?”

  She still did not understand my words and pulled her blouse up from the couch. She quickly put it on again, forgetting to protect her breasts.

  “The reason is…I’ve never gone to bed with any woman before.”

  I had finally confessed the reason and waited for a response but she remained silent, looking shocked with my revelation.

  In our generation was not usual for a young man after twenty-one years to still be a virgin. It was unusual not to have had his first sexual experience.

  Regardless of the cost to my ego, I continued talking with my head bent.

  “For me, being from a conservative family, I always heard my parents say I should guard my first time and give it only to the
woman who would be my wife. And she should also have to be that way.” I looked to one side, but not to her.

  “My shyness has also contributed to it. I never had a girlfriend before. I got involved with some girls, but never got to consummate the relationships. Nothing ever got that far with any of them! I always had in mind that I should follow my parents’ example. They married pure and I must do the same.”

  “Okay.” Peta rose with the blouse hiding her breasts. “I respect your will.”

  She walked to the window and opened it to look at the starry sky while muttering something.

  “One thing is certain. You will have to look for another girl to date and marry her ...” She paused and looked at me as I was sitting on the couch, watching her standing in the open window. “Because I'm not the perfect woman for you.”

  She looked down and continued saying, “I’m no longer pure ...”

  At that moment I looked down to the floor and I bent my head even further. My head began to shake. I looked up at her. She hadn’t moved.

  “I think you'd better go and forget that you asked me to start dating.” She looked out the window. “Go away and forget that I exist! It will be best for you!”

  Peta turned her back to me and remained standing at the window. I continued sitting on the couch in a state of shock. I could have sworn Peta was a virgin despite the way she dressed and behaved.

  Irritated by my lack of initiative to leave the couch, she hurriedly turned, walked to me and pulled me from the seat, clutching my arms.

  “Go away, damn it! Don’t you get it?”

  Her hand took my shirt off the couch and threw it on my chest with anger. Her tears ran down her face.

  “Go away! Please!”

  Her arms crossed over her breasts. She began to sob quietly.

  “I do not want to ruin your life,” Peta said keeping her back to me.

  Completely silent, I put on my black shirt and looked sadly at her back. Peta was still crying quietly. Cowardly I left her home without saying another word.

  For the first time, our differences had been revealed and ruined everything.

  Chapter 18

  Peta

  “You're telling me that guy has never had sex?” Denise asked in awe. She reached up and placed her hand over her lips obviously finding some humor in it. “That's bizarre!”

  She looked at me as I was sitting on the bed and went on to say, “There are no virgin boys in the present day! My God! This is legendary!”

  “Denise! No jokes today! I'm feeling bad! I am feeling like the worst person in the world! Where is my value as a woman in an hour like this?”

  I sighed and looked up.

  “I'm so sorry friend.” Denise looked chastised.

  “The worst of it is that I am completely taken by him. I like him; really I do, a lot. I like his knack. Half shy, you know?”

  “You like his naive knack!” Denise came over and sat on the bed as well. “The perfect virgin!”

  “Stop it, Denise! You're making me feel really bad again!” I mumbled and lay back. My head met the soft pillow behind me. I looked up at the ceiling and began to imagine Natan's attractive face, his gaze and his shy smile. I sighed putting my hand on my chest. It hurt so much inside me.

  “I do not know what will become of me with our separation. I miss him so much! But I have to forget him, the same way I forgot some other passions that have passed through my life.”

  Denise lay down beside me and kissed my forehead.

  “It's that, my friend! As the popular proverbs go, such is life and there are plenty of other fish in the sea.

  Natanael

  On the Sunday, I returned home from Mass in the company of my parents. I got to the living room but decided not to stay. I went quickly to my bedroom. I just wanted to be locked in it. I wanted to try to forget that there was a pain inside me. It was intolerable.

  I opened my notebook and started listening to Kings of Leon’s song, called 'Closer'.

  Still standing, I took off my shirt. I was feeling very hot so I threw it on the bed.

  I put my hands on my waist and I remained motionless for a time. At that moment my mind brought to me the beautiful images of Peta. Flashes of memories that brought her picture with her back to me when she danced in front of me and my eyes ran down her body as her butterflies danced in unison with her movements.

  My hand began to scratch my nape incessantly as I recalled our hot kisses, full of affection and passion for each other.

  Finally her voice would not leave my head. I could hear her saying things like,

  One thing is certain. You will have to look for another girl to date and marry ...

  Because I'm not the perfect woman for you.

  I’m no longer pure ...

  Chapter 19

  Peta

  4:30 pm

  I did not see Natanael for quite a few days. He had disappeared. I didn’t see him at all around the college. For a moment I believed that he was avoiding me. It seemed he didn’t want to bump into me at any point in time.

  I was suffering so much with our separation, but I remained firm in my study routines. I kept attending classes normally. Not always did I understand the explanations of my teachers but I did try.

  At the end of classes on Wednesday, I decided to go to the college library. I needed to resume other work that had to be delivered the next week. My fingers turned over some pages as my thoughts were far away. They had grown wings and decided to travel away from the reality that I was living in at the time.

  Again some flashes invaded my mind and brought Natan’s image, his look, his smile, his unexpected appearance in my life.

  I bowed my head and closed my eyes. I did not want to cry, I just wanted to focus on that crap summary. I just needed to concentrate.

  A few seconds later, my ears were attentive to the noise of a chair being dragged around a table behind me. Someone had sat in it.

  My heart beat strongly inside me. Dare I hope?

  “It is him.”

  After that, I heard noises of books being placed on the table and then later I smelled peppermint drops being opened from their packaging.

  Immediately I looked over my shoulder, already imagining that Natan was there, right behind me. My eyes stopped on the image of a young man trying to open some books all at once. He was with his head bowed.

  I was left completely disappointed. That guy was not Natan. He had fair skin and light hair. They might have been about the same age however their appearances were very different. They were quite different from each other.

  I held my pen with my fingers and started playing with it without even realizing it. I circled it in my fingers over and over, as if it were the hand of a clock that was counting my damn hours of agony and suffering.

  I never realized that Natan’s absence could make such chaos in my life.

  6:40 pm

  Peta

  With a lot of persistence and determination, I finally managed to finish my summary. I got up and took the books and my backpack. I walked to the counter and returned the book to the employee in the library.

  Dejectedly I started walking towards the library’s main entrance. It was night and outside it was dark.

  Idly I looked ahead and saw a dark shadow stopped in the middle of the library passageway. It was a young man in a navy blue shirt, dark jeans and sneakers. He was holding some books under his left arm.

  He seemed to wait for my approach. Standing in the same place, his eyes watched as I made my way toward him, my soft footsteps tapping lightly on the floor. That day I was wearing a black dress with pink flowers.

  “Hello,” Natanael said when I finally came closer.

  I stopped before him. Hearing his voice, automatically I looked at the floor.

  “Hello.”

  He looked around, looking a little lost.

  “I came to see how you are.”

  I raised my head and looked to one side.

  “
As you can see, I'm ... well.”

  My voice sounded unconvincing. Natan looked at me suspiciously and said nothing for a moment.

  “That’s good,” he finally said.

  “I'm going home now,” I informed him. “Good night.”

  Quickly I passed by him and Natan turned to the side to look at my back. He saw me going down the outside stairs of the library hastily. He decided to come after me, quickening his pace to catch up to me.

  “Peta! Wait!”

  Even though I could hear him calling me I kept walking forward. I did not want to face his gaze, look at his face again. This only distressed me, it just caused more pain. What I felt for him was too strong.

  Finally, he stopped in the middle of the courtyard and called out loudly, “I cannot stand being away from you!”

  Immediately I stopped. Still keeping my back to him I moved the back of my right hand below my nose and started to sob.

  Natan ran towards me and stopped behind my back. His right hand gently touched my right shoulder. He looked down at my shoulder. He would have been able to see the butterflies on my skin.

  “Look at me.” His voice pleaded softly.

  After a small pause he turned my body by my shoulders and he looked down at my eyes which were by now wet with tears. They were so blue and around them I had black pencil smudges. The makeup of my eyes had been ruined by my salty tears.

  “I think it is unnecessary that we stay away from each other and suffer for something that is less important than our love.”

  He was looking down at my face. His right arm rose in the air and his eyes looked all around.

  “Fuck everything! Fuck our differences! Fuck the moral ethics!”