Fizzlesprocket_Everybody Loves Large Chests [Vol.2]

by Neven Iliev

  The three of them set off into the thick woods, looking for a Bouncewood tree. Finding one only took about five minutes since the Mimic was already familiar with their shape, as this was far from its first visit to these parts. The tree’s surface was black and smooth, just like the Quest said, and the reason for that was because its bark was essentially a form of natural rubber. Its appearance was also closer to that of an oversized palm tree than a pine or oak tree, although that little detail was well outside the purview of the Mimic’s understanding of botany. The combination of the strange plant’s bark and shape made it bouncy, stretchy and resilient, which made it an interesting component that could be useful to Artificers. Boxxy decided it would collect a few extra kilograms for itself, in addition to what was necessary for the Quest.

  However, it soon found out exactly why this seemingly easy Quest had not been taken by someone else earlier.

  Stripping away that bark was hard. It was impact resistant to the point where Kora’s punches and kicks had absolutely no effect and merely bounced off. Trying to put her entire weight and power behind a double haymaker punch also proved to be useless. While her blow was a magnificent hit that would snap most trees in half, this one simply bent over. It then bounced back, making a weird *BOIOIOIOING* sound, and slapped Kora on the forehead, knocking her off her feet. The tree swayed back and forth a few times before returning to its original position without suffering so much as a scratch.

  Xera was also quite useless. She could, of course, set fire to it, but burning the bark they were here to collect defeated the purpose of the exercise. In the end, Boxxy transformed the tip of its tongue into a handaxe using Metal Mimicry and started hacking away at it. The tough material dented and dulled the handaxe surprisingly quickly, even though it had the toughness of real steel. That wasn’t much of a problem since Boxxy could easily reshape it back to full sharpness, but it was still a frustrating chore.

  It took the Mimic almost fifteen minutes of frantically hacking away at the relatively thin but incredibly annoying Bouncewood tree until it fell over. The tree’s cross-section revealed that over two-thirds of it was nothing but rubber bark, which explained why it was so damned resilient.

  Boxxy spent the next half hour or so stripping away and harvesting the bark, making sure to get big pieces when possible. It had a feeling those guys at the Mercenary Guild were bound to withhold part of its deposit if it tried to turn in 120 kilograms worth of rubber scraps. They’d already done that two days ago when it turned in ten troll hides that were riddled with holes and cuts. The dwarven bartender named Grog was even able to tell they were left behind by some sort of irregularly shaped bite marks, though he wasn’t able to determine what monster they belonged to. Which was good, considering the monster in question was standing right next to him.

  Once the tall, palm-like tree trunk was stripped of its bark, the Mimic started putting it away into its Storage. Once it had stowed away the last of it, it double checked its Quest’s status.

  Collect 120 KG of Bouncewood Bark

  Description: Deliver 120 kilograms of Bouncewood Bark to the Mercenary Guild in the city of Erosa. Bouncewood trees may be found in the Troll Woods west of Erosa and are easily recognizable due to their smooth and black surface.

  Difficulty: ★★

  Time Limit: 3 days 8 hours

  Deposit: 100GP

  Reward: 100GP

  Progress: 0/120

  Well, that was odd. Usually the Progress counter that tracked the completion rate of a Quest’s objective would update in real time, and Boxxy was quite sure it stowed away at least two hundred kilograms of the stuff by now. It was quite dense and heavy material, after all, so it shouldn’t take a lot of volume to reach that sort of weight. Ah, but technically speaking, the objective was to deliver the stuff, not just gather it. Otherwise, it could legally get paid and then still keep the stuff for itself. As expected of the Mercenary Guild, their people knew how to avoid leaving obvious loopholes in their Quests that would compromise their profits.

  Its business with this place was concluded, so the Mimic decided to leave the forest and go back to town before dawn came. As for its bound demons, they wouldn’t fit in that narrow passage and had to be re-summoned every time Boxxy crossed the wall. It was annoying, but it was better than trying to sneak a two-and-a-half-metre-tall pile of rage and muscle through a small army of armed guards.

  Therefore, once the three of them were clear of the forest, the Mimic ordered its familiars to remain behind and went on its way. Almost immediately, it heard the loud noises their usual shenanigans made, but it didn’t bother with them. Any monsters they attracted with that racket would be entirely their problem to deal with.

  As for Boxxy, it was already speeding towards the city. The Troll Woods were at a much higher elevation, which meant that getting there from Erosa involved walking uphill for about an hour. Going back, however, was a gradual downward slope, which meant the Mimic could roll almost the entire way to town by using wheels instead of legs.

  The shapeshifting chest had already improved greatly upon its original design for the organic wheels. The complex limbs with a diameter of sixty centimetres now took only a few seconds to fully grow from scratch and no longer leaked like they used to. Granted, the ride along the uneven dirt was hardly comfortable, but it was hard to argue with the sort of speed the miniature murder wagon was picking up. It drastically reduced the time for its return trip, allowing the Mimic to cross the distance between the Troll Woods and Erosa three times faster than normal.

  It would probably get to its destination even faster, but it couldn’t roll all the way there. Even Boxxy understood that no amount of tall grass would be able to hide a chest rolling along at high speed. Even if humans normally couldn’t see very well in the dark, it was relatively cheap to buy a helmet or a pair of spectacles with a night-vision enchantment on them. So it was much safer to cross the last kilometre or so on foot. On its way back, the Mimic once again spied the nun and her protector out in the wilderness, in the same area they’d been a few hours ago.

  However, it seemed the two of them had moved on from their flower-gathering mission to something else entirely. Something the Mimic had been witness to so many times in its short life that there was no way it wasn’t familiar with it.

  “Haahn! Yeah! Harder!”

  In short, the tall escort was currently on top of the nun and ‘escorting’ himself into her rear entrance over and over. ‘Taking it up the dirt road,’ as it were, didn’t count as far as sister Lyo’s chastity vows were concerned, and she was far from the only one who skirted them in such a manner.

  She had technically been truthful with the guard, though she still masked her real reason for coming out here. It was fine, though; to err was human, and she would be forgiven for playing fast and loose with her oaths so long as she sang a few hymns and said a few prayers. Easing her guilty conscience would come later. As for right now, she really needed some stress relief away from prying eyes.

  Unfortunately for her, she failed to take into account that the act in question left both her and her escort naked, distracted, and with their backs wide open to attack.

  [Assassination Skill triggered. Your attack has dealt 350% more damage. Target HP -753.]

  [You have dealt a devastating blow. Target stunned for 5 seconds.]

  [Assassination Skill triggered. Your attack has dealt 350% more damage. Target HP -914.]

  [You have slain your target in a single strike. Assassination Proficiency increased.]

  Honestly … It was like the pair were begging to be stabbed.

  Part Six

  “See! I smeggin’ told you so!”

  The young and much-too-green guard gave a wide smile. He was obviously proud of himself. Or full of himself, depending on one’s point of view.

  “Fine!” shouted the older guard in frustration. “I admit you were right!”

  Those five words almost felt like someone stabbing him in the gut
with a pitchfork. And Guardsman Thomas had hands-on experience with that particular sensation. It was indeed as unpleasant as it sounded.

  “Now would you kindly shut the fuck up about it?” he grumbled.

  “Hah,” scoffed the rookie, “I’ll shut up when you pay up!”

  “ … Alright. Here.”

  Thomas reached into his pocket and brought out a King piece, which was an extra large gold coin worth 50 GP. He handed it over resentfully to the cocky youngster. “Hope you choke on it.”

  “Haha! C’mon man, don’t be so bitter. It was fair game and you know it.”

  “Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say. I still say you cheated somehow.”

  The two guardsmen had made a ‘friendly’ bet. The younger one, Shaw, insisted he could do a backflip while wearing the full plate armour that had become standard issue for all of Erosa’s guards. The squirt could barely even move in it properly when he signed up five days ago, yet he still pulled off the backflip like it was nothing. The explosive growth obtained from power-levelling was indeed frightening.

  With their bit of fun concluded, the two resumed keeping an eye on the empty streets just inside the city’s northern gate. Of course, such frivolity was normally looked down upon, but these men understood that a little bit of excitement was sometimes necessary to keep the mind alert. That held especially true during these boring night shifts, and the four guards stationed nearby agreed completely. Still, they had jobs to do and wages to earn, so they kept the distractions to a minimum.

  An hour or so later the sky started lighting up, signifying the approach of dawn, and with it would also come Thomas’s replacement. However, instead of being elated, the middle-aged guard felt a sense of disquiet. Sister Lyo, who he had known for several years, had gone out on another trip to gather Moonblossoms.

  This had been going on for about three weeks and had become a routine. She always said she stuck around the relatively safe grasslands immediately to the west of the city, and she always had that tall stranger with her for protection. Last night was the first time she identified him as her cousin, though Thomas didn’t think much of it at the time. It wasn’t like he had asked her about their relation, so he had no grounds to complain.

  However, the pair were taking entirely too long. Usually they’d only be gone for a few hours, but that time had long since passed. Thomas had asked her about needing extra protection. If they turned up missing or even dead – no, he couldn’t think that way. He had to believe they were alright, that they merely got caught up in something and would return shortly.

  Unfortunately, sister Lyo and her bodyguard did not return before the end of his shift. His replacement came to take over his post at dawn and Thomas was then supposed to return to the barracks. Part of him wanted to stay and keep an eye out for her, but that wouldn’t solve anything. And he would get in deep shit if he failed to check in his arms and armour on time. He’d heard what happened to some ‘deserters’ that tried to pull a fast one and abscond with the expensive items, and unlike those people, Thomas liked his head attached to the rest of his body.

  He trudged off towards the barracks in the middle of the city along with the rest of his shiftmates. Shaw still had a cocky grin on his face due to winning that 50 GP bet and was already bragging about how he would spend it all at the nearest pub. Thomas had no such desires right now; he was way too tired and had too much on his mind to deal with rowdy rookies. Having young blood like them around was reassuring in case shit went down, but their attitude could use some serious adjustment. As for an old dog like Thomas, he had long ago found out it was best to ignore the things he couldn’t do anything about and focus on the ones he could.

  Which right now amounted to checking in his gear, reporting the missing persons, and getting some shuteye. Even if he was worried about the young nun, he surely wouldn’t be the only one. The temple was bound to organize a search party once they heard one of their own had gone missing. Experience told him their return was highly unlikely, but some part of him still clung to the hope that sister Lyo and her cousin would –

  *Wooosh*

  “Ugh!”

  A shadow passed over Thomas, sending an unnatural chill down his spine. Turning around, he spotted a large, cloaked, familiar-looking figure walking along the middle of the mostly deserted street.

  “Hey … Hey!” he called out. “Hey you! Big guy in the cloak – stop right there!”

  The over two-metre-tall man froze and turned around to face him. His head was wrapped in a blue cloth and the heavy black cloak obscured his form. What little could be seen of his face was sickly pale, and his yellow eyes seemed to lick over Thomas as if tasting him. In one arm, he carried a heavy-looking bag that bulged out slightly from beneath his cloak.

  The guardsman blinked a few times in surprise. What was he thinking? This clearly wasn’t the cousin from last night. Sure, the size was similar, but that was pretty much it. Even if he couldn’t see the face it was obvious this wasn’t the same person.

  “I apologize, my mistake. Carry on, citizen.”

  The stranger nodded in response and went about his way. Thomas watched the hooded figure absentmindedly until it disappeared into the nearby building belonging to the Mercenary Guild.

  Now that he thought about it, didn’t that guy seem suspicious? That bad feeling he gave off was –

  Thomas shook his head to throw off his errant thoughts. His tired, worried mind was probably playing tricks on him. To think he accosted a random pedestrian like that. Thankfully none of the other passersby appeared to think badly of him, and some even seemed to say, ‘Go on, arrest that freak!’ with their eyes. He was far too tired to deal with some mysterious stranger though – not to mention the trouble he’d get into if he randomly arrested someone on a whim.

  Having decided that rest was his top priority, he jogged up the street to catch up with his younger colleagues and continued on his way towards the barracks. Once there, he checked in his gear, reported the absence of sister Lyo and her bodyguard, crawled into his bunk, and slept the sleep of the dead just as planned.

  He woke up about six hours later at high noon and went to have luckfast, a combination of lunch and breakfast – not to be confused with brunch. Once his hunger was properly satiated and his hazy mind cleared up, he left the barracks and went into the keep proper. He wanted to see his direct superior and ask if there’d been any sign of sister Lyo. Thomas had been the one to file the missing person’s report earlier, and he was one of the last few people to see her alive. So he felt it was his responsibility to see this case through to the end.

  The guardsman climbed up the stone steps inside the keep, up to the third floor. He walked down one hallway, then another, and finally a third before reaching his destination.

  *Knock knock*

  “Enter,” came a clear voice from the other side of the door.

  Thomas quickly opened it and walked inside.

  The office itself was nothing extraordinary – just a desk, a few chairs, and a whole lot of cabinets. Sitting behind the desk, scribbling on a piece of paper, was a slightly overweight, balding man with a goatee.

  The out-of-uniform guardsman walked up to the foot of the desk and saluted. “Lieutenant Porkins, sir! Guardsman Thomas requesting a moment of your time, sir!”

  The man with the oddly fitting name put down his quill and looked up. “Guardsman Thomas, eh?”

  “Yes, sir! I’m here to inquire about the missing person, Lyo Rosetta, sir.”

  “Are you?” Porkins raised an eyebrow. “Hmm, this is good. Excellent timing, actually. I was just about to have someone send for you regarding that matter. Have a seat.”

  He gestured at the empty chair opposite the desk, which the simple guardsman respectfully took.

  “Thank you, sir.”

  “Now then,” said Porkins, putting away the document he was working on. “As I’m sure you’ve already guessed, the local temple of Teresa immediately organized and sent out a search part
y in response to your report. They’ve been scouring the area north and west of the city all the way to the Troll Woods, but there has been no sign of her or this cousin of hers.”

  “Nothing at all, sir?”

  “No, guardsman. Not a trace of her or that swordsman. It’s like they disappeared in a puff of smoke.”

  That was unusual. Thomas was sure Lyo was at least a Level 40 Priestess and it was quite obvious that muscle-bound juggernaut of a bodyguard would not go down easily. There ought to have been at least some signs of a struggle if a fight had broken out.

  “That is … unsettling. Sir.”

  “Indeed. Tell me, guardsman, how long have you known the young Miss Roseta?”

  “About three years, sir. Four this summer.”

  “And were you two close?”

  “Not particularly, sir. I’d say we were more than acquaintances, but not quite friends. Sir.”

  After all, a gate guardsman and a nun have very little interaction aside from seeing each other in passing every so often. Thomas was a somewhat devout man, so he made sure to treat clergy like her with extra care and respect, but that was about the gist of it.

  “And her cousin?”

  “Only seen him a few times these past few weeks, sir. We haven’t exchanged words. I didn’t even know he was her cousin until she mentioned it last night, sir.”

  “Did she actually say that, though?”

  “Pardon, sir?”

  “What were her exact words, guardsman?”

  “…”

  Thomas thought back to that meeting, trying to recall as many details as he could. Well ... the encounter had been more or less the only highlight of the night, so it wasn’t that difficult a task.