Breaking Through the Wall (Guarded Hearts Book 2)

by Noelle, Alexis

  She leaned up to kiss me, then rested her head on my chest and fell asleep.

  * * *

  As we were pulling into Nicole’s driveway, I started to get nervous. I never had a girlfriend before, so I had never needed to go through the whole meet the parent’s thing. At least she said that her dad and stepmom weren’t getting home until tomorrow.

  “Come on,” she said, grabbing my hand and leading me through the house. Jesus, this house was big. I was never wealthy growing up, so this all seemed surreal to me. “I have been living in the pool house since senior year. I wanted my own space and my dad saw this as a compromise.”

  When we got into the pool house, my mouth dropped open further, if that was possible. It must have been as big as the first floor of my house. You could immediately tell that Nicole lived here. Every decoration in here was pink, or some form of animal print. “Nic, this is really…nice.”

  She dropped her bags on the floor and turned around to look at me. Then she reached up and wrapped her arms around my neck. “Thank you for coming home with me. I know this isn’t something that you were really comfortable with.” She leaned up and kissed me.

  “Baby, you have me so goddamn whipped that I would do anything for you.” I wanted to tell her I loved her. Maybe I would tonight. I knew that I did with all of my heart and that she felt the same. However, knowing it and saying it out loud were two different things. She took my hand and led me over to her couch.

  When I sat down, she straddled herself on top of my lap. “Thank God my dad will be gone until tomorrow. I have plans for you, Tarzan.” She started kissing me again, but this time there was a fire between us. We had this amazing chemistry together. Whenever we touched my whole body sprang to life.

  I started to kiss my way down her neck, nipping and biting just how she loved, when I heard the door open and a woman’s voice.

  “Nicole, your father and I—”

  “Ugh, don’t you know how to knock? This isn’t part of the main house, so you have no claim to it.” Nicole was still on top of me, so I couldn’t see whoever had come in, but I was guessing it was her stepmom.

  With as much as Nicole talked about her, I just had to sneak a look. When I peeked around Nic and saw her, my heart stopped. No, this could not be happening right now. “Mom?”

  When she looked at me, I knew. I saw the recognition pass over her face. She turned without another word and walked out. I didn’t know why I would be surprised by this. It wasn’t the first time she knowingly walked away from me. I moved Nicole off of me and stood up.

  I couldn’t even think right now. My mother was here and married to her father! Living the life of fucking luxury, while my dad worked his ass off every day. Half of the time I thought of her, I prayed that she had it as hard as we did. No, she was living the life and enjoying it. I needed to get out of here.

  I started for the door, but I felt someone grab my arm. When I turned around, Nicole was standing there staring at me. Looking at her now, all I saw was my mother’s betrayal with her father. I couldn’t be with her and I couldn’t be here. I reached for the door again.

  “Jason, please wait. I—”

  “No, Nic, I’m leaving, this shit is too much. I am going to go home and you are going to stay here.”

  “No, I’ll go with you. I don’t want to be here. I just want to be where you are.” I could see the pain I was causing in her eyes, and it was about to get worse.

  “Well, I don’t want to be with you. I’m leaving. Don’t follow me.”

  “No! I refuse to let you end us because of this!” She was starting to cry now, and I couldn’t look at her.

  “You can refuse all you want, it’s over. Don’t follow me, don’t call me, just leave me alone. I don’t know who we were kidding with this, anyway. It would have ended eventually.”

  I started walking to the car and heard her following me. I opened the door and started to get in, when she grabbed it and stopped it from closing. It started raining. We were just staring at each other and getting soaked saying nothing at first. Nicole broke the silence.

  “J, please don’t leave. I…I love you.” She had tears streaming down her face now, and all I wanted to do was pull her into my arms. I couldn’t, though. I would never be able to deal with this, and having my mother be a permanent reluctant presence in my life. I pulled the door away from her and slammed it. Then I sped out of that driveway and away from that house as fast as I could.

  The whole drive home I couldn’t get Nicole’s face or what she said out of my head. For the first time since Sara died, I cried.

  Nicole

  I didn’t know how long I had been standing in the rain, but it didn’t matter. I was numb right now, a shell of who I was. Jason took every last part of me with him when he left. I couldn’t believe he did that to me. I told him I loved him, and he just left. I had been scared to say it to him and as soon as I did he drove away like I had just told him the worst news ever.

  I slowly walked back to the pool house, not caring what I looked like to the neighbors, or how wet I was right now. When I got there, I pulled out my phone and all I wanted to do was call him. I didn’t, though. I did call Mads and tried to tell her what happened, but between the sobbing and teeth chattering from being frozen, I barely got anything out.

  She seemed to understand what I was saying, though, and Carter drove her to come pick me up. We didn’t talk the whole way back to their house and I appreciated the silence. When we got there, she showed me where the shower was, which I hoped would make me feel a little better. I wanted the shower to wash away all of the grief and sadness, although I knew that was not a possibility.

  When I walked back into the bedroom, Mads was sitting there waiting for me. “Listen, Nic, Carter is going to go home tonight and I am going to stay here with you. He is fine with it, so don’t even think about fighting me on it.” I walked over and gave her a hug. I was so happy to have a friend like her right now. After Carter left, Mads and I sat down on the couch. “All right, girl, now spill.”

  “Okay, well, first let me share the big revelation with you. The Barbie troll that my dad married…she is…she’s his mom.” The look on her face was just as I expected. “I understand why he was upset, Mads, but how could he leave me because of that. He left me. I told him that I loved him and he left me. I get that he needed to get away, but I wanted to go with him. He was so cold, like the old Jason. I finally broke down his wall and now he put it back up and I don’t think there is a chance I will even crack it this time.”

  “Nicole, I know it seems like that now, but once he calms down he will see that it has nothing to do with the two of you.”

  I wished she would have been right about that. I gave J his space for the next week. I didn’t call him, text him, I didn’t even ask Carter for updates on how he was. When he got back to town, I still never heard from him. Carter said he was drowning his worries in alcohol, and I knew that girls would become a part of that soon. I had to try one last time.

  * * *

  It was midnight and I couldn’t sleep. It had been two weeks since Jason had walked away from me and I needed to see him. When I got to his house, it was unlocked, so I knew he must still be up. When I walked into his room, I saw something that demolished any pieces of my heart that weren’t broken when he walked away from me last time. Stacey was here, lying on Jason’s bed, the sheets were all messed up, and she was wearing nothing but a bra and panties. I could hear Jason’s shower running in his bathroom. Oh my God.

  “Nicole, what are you doing here? Jason said you weren’t together anymore.” I could tell by the way she said it, that she was enjoying every minute of this. I would not cry right now, because I refused to give her the satisfaction of seeing me like that. I walked out of his room, knowing that no matter how much I loved him, I could never forgive him.

  I dropped his Christmas present that I had gotten him in Myrtle Beach on the kitchen counter, and walked home, finally accepting that I
had lost Jason and he wasn’t coming back.

  Jason

  This time without Nicole had been shit. Being away from her only showed me how much I cared about her. Even knowing that, I still couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that if she was in my life, my mom would be too. I had been drinking, constantly, to help suppress the urge to call her and beg her to take me back. I knew going back to her would only hurt both of us right now. I was in no shape to be with her, I didn’t want to be around anyone.

  Did I hear voices out there? Shawn wasn’t coming back until tomorrow. Maybe it was just my imagination. I turned off the shower, wrapped myself in a towel, and went out into my bedroom. When I walked out and saw Stacey lying on my bed, I did a double take. What the fuck was she doing here?

  She must have heard me because she turned around and smiled at me. “That was a long ass shower, J. Surprise! I know it’s late, but I wanted to give you a Christmas present.” She knelt on the bed and reached around to unclasp her bra.

  “Wait! Stacey, I don’t know what you think you are doing, but you need to leave. I don’t want you here.”

  “But Jason—”

  “Out! Now!”

  Once she was gone, I laid back down on the bed. When my head hit the pillow, all I could smell was Nicole. Fuck, she is like a ghost that won’t go away.

  * * *

  I was jolted from my sleep by an obnoxiously loud banging on the door. This better be fucking important. When I opened it up, I saw a seriously pissed off Maddy. Before I could ask her what was wrong, she smacked me right across the face. Shit! Carter grabbed her and yanked her back against him.

  “What the hell, Maddy?!”

  “Don’t you what the hell me, Jason Smith! How dare you do that to her! I really thought you were better than that!”

  She started to storm away and Carter was following her. What was going on? “Wait! Will one of you please tell me what the fuck I did to piss you off so bad?”

  Maddy turned around and then started running toward me again. Luckily Carter caught her. “Maybe we should take this inside. Maddy, can you calm down for a minute, woman? You are hot when you’re mad and when you are squirming around like this I can’t control the effect you have on me.”

  She turned around, looked at Carter and nodded her head. I moved over so she could get into the house, but as she was walking by, she punched me right in the chest. “Ow! Carter, what the hell is going on?”

  He just shook his head and walked into my apartment. They were in the living room, sitting on the couch and staring at me. “Can you please, with your words, tell me what I did that was so bad?”

  “It isn’t what you did, J, it’s who my best friend caught you doing!”

  If she thought that was going to clear anything up, she was crazy. “Still not following…”

  She stood up now and I took a couple steps back. “How could you sleep with Stacey, J? Do you have any idea how much that hurt Nicole, seeing her in your bed? You guys haven’t even been broken up for that long.”

  “What? I haven’t touched that girl since last year! And I haven’t seen Nicole since I left that night.”

  Maddy looked confused now and Carter seemed to understand maybe he should take over. “Listen, Jason, we know, you don’t need to cover it up. Nic came over here to talk to you last night and saw Stacey in your bed. It didn’t help matters that you were in the shower, washing off what happened, either.”

  Nicole had been here? Oh my God. “No, you have it all wrong, Carter. Yes, I went out drinking last night, but I came home alone. I jumped in the shower to sober myself up and when I came back out Slutty Stacey was in my bed, in her bra and underwear. You guys know that I always leave my door open when I’m home. I swear to God, I never touched her!” Fuck! I collapsed onto the couch and buried my face in my hands. Nicole thought I moved on, and to make matters worse, she thought I had replaced her with Stacey.

  Carter and Maddy were both just staring at me, then Maddy walked over and hugged me. “I’m sorry I smacked you.”

  “It’s okay, I understand why now. I would have smacked me too. I need to make this right.”

  When I looked up at them, they had these expressions on their face that told me winning Nicole back was not going to be easy. She was worth it, though, I needed to get my head out of my ass and show her how much she meant to me.

  I went into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and saw a box wrapped in candy cane wrapping paper sitting there. I looked at the gift tag and my heart stopped when I saw that it was from Nic. I unwrapped it, opened the box, and saw a note placed on top.

  Jason,

  I thought of this during our trip together and knew that I wanted to get it for you. I hope you know how happy you have made me by finally letting me in. You are the most protective, sweet, and amazing guy I have ever met. I hope this is the first of many Christmases that we get to spend together.

  Merry Christmas!

  Nicole

  I put the note on the counter and lifted up the tissue paper. Inside was an old model cherry red Dodge Camaro. I remembered telling her a while ago that it was my dream car that I would buy if I ever had enough money to get one. I lifted it out of the box and admired it, when I turned it around the license plate of the car said ‘Smith.’

  This was the best present that anyone had ever given me. I looked up at Carter and Maddy, who were just standing there looking at me.

  “Please help me get her back.”

  Maddy walked over and gave me a hug. I hoped she could help me, because I couldn’t lose the one person I finally decided to love.

  Nicole

  As we walked up to Shattered Glass, all I could think about was going up on that stage and letting every ounce of frustration and hurt I was feeling pour out. I was so glad when Mads suggested we come here tonight. I did not need to spend another night in my cheetah pajamas, drowning my misery in ice cream and Channing Tatum. I went right up to the MC and signed up. He said it was a slow night and if I wanted to go next I could.

  I was singing one of my favorite songs from one of my favorite groups, The Band Perry’s Done. The song was about a girl who had enough of being taken advantage of. She was now ready to fight back and give the bastard what he deserved. As much as I loved Jason, I couldn’t sit around and wait for him to want me the way I wanted him.

  When I was up there belting out the lyrics, it felt amazing, I was so into it. I released every angry, pissed off, and sad feeling I had held onto since the night he left me. I have to say, I was imagining singing it to him, and I actually thought he was there at one point. When the song was over, I was out of breath, but I felt fucking fantastic.

  I went and sat down with Mads at the table and we laughed and joked about all of the crazies that showed up to karaoke nights. The lights dimmed, which was something that was really rare here. When I looked up at the stage, I saw the silhouette of a guy sitting on a bar stool. I could see the shadow of a cowboy hat and even though my heart was calling me an idiot my libido was getting all excited. I heard a song start and recognized it as Rascals Flatts’s God Blessed The Broken Road. When the guy started to sing, the lights turned on and what was left of my heart stopped.

  Oh my God.

  It was Jason.

  His voice was beautiful. I never knew he could really sing with all that screaming shit he listened to. What was he doing here? He started to move off of the stage, and seemed to be looking around. His eyes focused on me and I felt like I was going to fall off my stool. By the time he hit the second chorus, he was in front of me. Singing his heart out to me, with a song that fit him so well. He picked me up and put me onto the table so I was face to face with him.

  He continued singing to me while placing feather light kisses on my cheek and anywhere else he could between words. I could hear the song start to wind down and I wished it would go on forever.

  When it was over, he turned to face the crowd. “So, I am here tonight for this beautiful girl right
here. I have had the privilege these past few months to have her with me. Then, like most men, I acted like a complete asshole.”

  Everyone started to laugh and he looked back at me and smirked. He turned around to me and wrapped his free hand around my waist. “I didn’t know how amazing she was until I didn’t have her in my life anymore. I need you with me, Nicole, and I will do anything to have you back. I will rehearse any lines for plays you want, even if I don’t know what I am saying. I will sing at this club every weekend. I’ll do any stupid line dance you want me to. I’ll even watch all of those crappy love movies with you. I need you to understand how sorry I am and how much I have missed you. I got your present that you left at the house and I wanted to give you what I had gotten for you too. I bought this about a week before we broke up.”

  He pulled a small square jewelry box out of his pocket and opened it. Inside was a silver ring with one light blue triangular stone connected to another dark blue triangular stone. There was a tiny row of diamonds on each side going around the ring.

  “This is a promise ring, and I want you to understand what it means. I promise that, from now on, I am yours. I’m not running anymore and I want to be with you for as long as you will let me. Nic, I have been scared to say this to you, but I’m not anymore. I love you, Nicole Williams, and I want everyone to know it. My only hope is that I didn’t screw up bad enough, that you don’t want me anymore.”

  At this point, I was crying like a baby. “I love you too, Jason.” Those were about the only words I could manage, but it didn’t matter. He crashed his mouth to mine and I lost myself in the passion that I had been missing so much. The MC came up and grabbed the microphone from Jason, then walked back to the stage, while everyone in the club was clapping and cheering.