The Way of All Flesh: Illusions Can Be Real

by Corey Furman

  “I didn’t enjoy the one time I was taken outside,” she murmured softly.

  Luna turned to her. “Tell me what happened.”

  “I will,” she said. “But it’s not a talk for the light of day.”

  “Okay.” She turned back to the view of the outside world. “Maybe beautiful isn’t the right word, but I still think it’s… I don’t know – stunning I guess. It might be mixed with something else, but I’m not sure. And I think I’m beginning to understand how you felt when you woke up and saw Jupiter for the first time.”

  “That night was a blur of startling revelation, so it’s kind of hard to separate it all out, but I think I was more bewildered by the crop buildings. The implications of them, I mean, but I don’t think I’d been able to grasp it at the time.”

  “I see what you mean, Maré. I’m a little overwhelmed just now myself, but not so much that I can’t appreciate the view.”

  “Well, try to enjoy it while you can,” Maré said with a dry laugh as she broke the contact and walked over to the kitchen counter. “Before it gets old and the wind seems be trying to blow the place flat. I swear, sometimes at night the gusts seem alive and offended.”

  “Don’t be cynical, Chroma,” Luna said reproachfully. “It isn’t like our skywalk, but it’s striking and something to look at besides the walls.”

  She turned back and tried to meet her gaze. “Alright, but be patient with me, Luna. It hasn’t been easy here, being alone and without the only friend I’ve ever had – alone except for him. I may have hardened, and I’m sorry.”

  Luna nodded. “I know. Maybe I can be soft, for the both of us.”

  Maré gave her an even drier laugh. “We’ll have to see about that – ‘soft’ will be something of a change for you. It would probably be a lot easier if I could see you in a pretty dress.”

  She arched an eyebrow. “You remembered…”

  “Oh, yeah. We might be able to manage a few ribbons, anyway.” She thought for a moment, then continued. “You know you mean everything to me, Chroma, but you’d still be pretty amazing if you weren’t.”

  Luna wrinkled her forehead. “I don’t know what you mean.”

  “What I mean is,” she said with a huge grin, “that in the span of just a couple of minutes, you’ve spotted two things I completely missed. I know I’m engineered,” she said with something of a verbal sneer, “to be rather average all around, but I wouldn’t have thought I’d miss those things. You didn’t though, and I find it, well, amazing.”

  “Ha! Well, let’s call it a draw. You had your focus elsewhere.”

  “I guess,” she said, stretching her arms towards her. “C’mere and hold me, Chroma.“

  When Luna went to her, she expected the usual delicate embrace of their bed, but Maré gripped her with her arms, tight in, and full of feeling. This was a hug that spoke nothing of love, but cried of unity, need, solidarity, and as she pressed Luna in even tighter, it felt like Maré was trying to shell her with protection. Yes, you are my dear Chroma, Maré, and I yours, echoed her heart, but you’ve definitely toughened up in this place, and it was you who were never soft to begin with…

  Maré let her go and said, “as nice as this is, I need to draw your attention to more immediate matters.” Maré got out the canister that held the coffee powder, then pointed at one of the drawers. “Please reach in there and get out the small scale. I know you’re used to medical equipment that tell you what to do and do half of it anyway, but pretty much everything is manual around here. Whatever else you do, make sure you get the coffee right. He doesn’t get much…” She lowered her voice. “And wasting it is a sure way to earn punishment.”

  Next, she had Luna dig out a plate, a fork and a packet of spaghetti, and then she showed her how to work the food warmer. “You’ll get a feel for how long to heat the food as you practice, but he likes it hot. When I said I thought he was going to kill me, it was because I served him cold food.”

  Breylin stepped into the kitchen, startling them. “To be sure, it’s a situation best avoided, Luna.”

  With her eyes down, Maré spoke softly. “I’m sorry, Mr. Breylin.”

  “Think nothing of it. I told you to make sure Luna knows how my home works.” He looked to Luna. “It’s best to understand ahead of time.”

  After he left for work, the girls set to cleaning the house at a casual pace. More than anything else though, they continued to reconnect. When they sat down to eat at lunch, Luna wanted to talk.

  “Tell me about what’s happened to you since we went to sleep.”

  Maré laughed humorlessly. “There isn’t much to tell. You’re the only person I’ve seen except for him.”

  Luna looked down. “When you say it like that… I’m sorry I wasn’t here, that you went through it alone.”

  Maré reached for her hand. “I wasn’t alone. My Chroma was always with me.”

  Luna smiled and said, “you’ve also gotten sentimental as you’ve gotten older.”

  Taking a serious tone, she said, “do you remember what you asked me to do whenever I got scared?”

  “Refresh me.”

  Maré got out of her chair and slid into her lap. She took a pinch of Luna’s hair, bend towards it and inhaled. “You asked me to remember the way this smells. It was enough.”

  She laid her head on Maré’s chest and tears flowed. “I wish… I don’t know.”

  “Hey, it’s okay. We’re together.”

  “Tell me about him and what to expect.”

  “I’ll tell you what to expect. The difficult details we talk over later with the lights out.”

  “Fair enough,” she nodded. “We’ve got a lot to discuss in the dark, don’t we?”

  “On this thing, there isn’t much to tell, really. We cook. We clean. He’s gone most days, comes home at night. From time to time he’s nice, occasionally he’s monstrous. When it’s good it almost feels like love, other times I think he loathes me. Well, not just me but all chromanity.”

  “Whoa, wait a minute.” Luna held up her hand. “Back up to the ‘monstrous’ thing. I guess you said something like that yesterday, but I wasn’t much with it – still not I guess – and you’re scaring me.”

  “I don’t know what to say. He can be a monster.”

  “Why?”

  “He used to be married, but she’s dead now. She’s –” Maré shook her head. “Too close – a topic for later. She died, and he blames us.”

  “I might have hoped we left this behind.” Luna exhaled and rubbed her scalp. “But we never get away, do we?”

  “Um, I’m not sure he’s worse than Almeida was. He can be, but the mood swings are what make him tough to take. Definitely different, though.”

  She looked down at her plate. “I’m not sure I can eat this now.”

  Maré got up. “I’ll reheat the plates. He’s right about one thing – you need the nourishment.”

  Luna’s face went pouty. “I don’t want to eat…”

  She nudged her shoulder. “What’s with the whininess?” Maré said. “You weren’t like this before.”

  She sighed. “I’m still a little out of it, I guess.”

  “Well, eat this,” Maré said as she set the plate in front of her. “Then go lay down. I’ll finish the housework.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah, it’s fine. I’ve done it by myself for months.”

  “No, I mean are you sure you don’t mind if I go lay down?”

  Maré stroked her cheek. “It’s fine, Luna. I’ll call you when it’s dinnertime.”

  Later in bed, she snuggled her head into Luna’s arms. “I need you to hold me.”

  She adjusted Maré so that they fit together better and laid her cheek on the top of her head. “Is there anything you want to tell me?”

  “Not particularly, no. I still can’t believe you’re here – I never expected to see you again.”

  Luna gave h
er hair a plaintive kiss on her crown and tightened her embrace. When she loosened up, Maré rolled away from her so that they could spoon.

  Luna said, “you’ve changed.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You’re different. Less off balance, more confident.”

  Maré placed Luna’s hand on her breast. Her muscles tightened, and she nearly pulled away, but she checked the movement.

  “This is different, too,” she said quietly into her ear.

  “Does it bother you?” Maré queried. “You’ve had your hands on me lots times when you’ve washed me.”

  “Yes, I have.” Pause. “But I think we both know this is different.”

  “I like your hands on me, Chroma.”

  “Maré… you know why this makes me uncomfortable.”

  She rolled back towards her. Faces close, she spoke quietly, sadly. “We’ll never see 85 again, but she still has a hold on you, Luna.” She laid her hand along the curve of her jawline. “You need healing from this.”

  Tears began to well behind her lashes. “It’s isn’t that simple, Maré. I was violated.”

  “I know. You know I know.” She traced the outlines of her face while she spoke. “It’s not the same, but I’ve learned something of violation. The day before yesterday Breylin made me tell him I wasn’t a person. There were plenty of times he would make me say hurtful things while staring at my own reflection in the mirror – or face his whip. For months I wasn’t allowed to refer to myself in the first person.”

  “You’re so strong to have survived, Maré.”

  She stretched to put her mouth by Luna’s ear. “I did it by remembering my Chroma, and by fixing in my mind that I am a person, no matter what he thinks. He controls our bodies, but he can only control our minds if we let him. It’s the same with 85.”

  Maré moved back so that they were once again nose to nose, eye to eye. As they looked into each other, Maré could feel her seeing the truth in what she was saying.

  Luna nodded ever so slightly. “You’ve become more dominant, too – protective.”

  “I’ll do what I can now, just as you did for me before,” she said. “There’s been a lot of grief in our lives, and there’s more to come, but not in this bed.”

  She rolled back and deliberately put Luna’s hand on her breast, covered it with her own and squeezed. “Now hold me because I like it. We can take our time, but we are going to heal, Luna.”

  Breylin made a conscious effort to be reasonable towards the girls. He had been afraid things would start to fall apart, but he’d been wrong – so far. He would just have to keep an eye out for issues, and deal with anything that came up. Action – reaction.

  Within a few weeks’ time, he noticed that as they had opportunity they would be in physical contact more and more. There could be no denying that they loved each other. Slowly, he accepted the change to his perception.

  When Maré’s birthday came up a month after Luna had arrived, he decided to allow them a special meal. “Pick what you want, and I will bring something small home for dessert. As I recall, your predecessors appreciated chocolate.” he told them. “Luna, we’ve missed your birthday by a week. We’ll just have to use the one occasion for both.”

  Maré sounded genuine when she spoke. “Thank you, Sir. We know you don’t have to go out of your way to make us feel appreciated.”

  “Well, things have been going well with both of you. Showing appreciation seemed like a good response.”

  That night, Luna heated enchiladas and refried bean paste for dinner and served it to them. He kept himself reserved, but allowed them to laugh and have fun. It was a nice time. This reminds me of happier days…

  “Your mother always enjoyed these dinners,” he said.

  Continuing as if nothing had been said, Maré laughed and pointed at Luna. “You have a smear of food on your nose! Here, let me get it.” Luna held still while her Chroma reached over and wiped it with her index finger. At the last second, she nipped at her fingers, causing Maré to yelp. Breylin’s eyebrows raised up at the silliness of it, while they fell into a fit of joyful giggling.

  “Luna, why don’t you get out the two pieces of cake?”

  Luna got up. “I’ve never had any – I hope it’s good,” she said.

  “Didn’t you get one for yourself, Mr. Breylin?” said Maré.

  Luna got a couple of plates out, then the small box from their tiny fridge. When she opened the box she said, “Wow, look at that.” She carefully extracted the first piece and gently laid it on its side on a plate, then repeating her actions for the second one.

  Responding to Maré he said, “nope – I didn’t want one at the time – but based on Luna’s reaction, I may regret it.”

  She carried the plates back to the table, set hers down, then the other in front of Maré. As she got close, she leaned in to her and said, “happy birthday, Chroma,” and then she tucked her hand under the hair at the back of her neck. They closed their eyes as Luna drew her in and gave her a too-warm kiss. When they parted, Maré seemed breathless.

  Breylin could feel the electricity that crackled between them, and it made him feel stunned as if someone had thrown a bucket of warm water on him. What the hell just happened?

  After Luna sat back down, the girls noticed him looking at them and must have read something unpleasant on his face. They finished their desserts in silence and downcast eyes.

  Without saying a word, he wiped his mouth, got up and left the room. As he walked back to his own space, he wondered what else was going on between them, especially in their room at night.

  Twenty Two

  For weeks now, Harry had noticed that Joss seemed to have turned a corner with his attitude, especially towards the simulant work crews. He had been making informal inquiries among them, and what he heard was that out in the region he still kept his distance from them, but he was much less surly. Apparently, trusting him once again with his own crew had been good for him.

  It was tempting to think that his friend would be okay after all, but just this week he had started showing signs of slightly increased aggression again. No real problems – yet – but maybe it was time to offer him some direct encouragement. Maybe if he noticed Joss’ efforts it would help him stay the course. It was worth a shot, anyway.

  The next morning, Harry found him standing off to the side, waiting for his assignment. He smiled when he saw Harry walking towards him, and said, “morning, Harry.”

  “Hey, good morning! How’s it going, Joss?” He pulled out his small satchel of tobacco, extracted a hefty pinch of it and put it onto a thin square of paper. He put the rest of it away while he expertly rolled the cigarette with his other hand. It was the first time he’d ever seen Harry roll one of those things.

  “Mmm, doing pretty good.” He shifted his feet. “What’s up?”

  “Well,” he said as hit lit the smoke and sucked on it, causing its end to glow and lighting his face with its bright orange glow. “I wanted to tell you that from what I hear, you’re doing well with the crews.”

  He smiled again. “Thanks, Harry. I appreciate it.”

  Harry exhaled, nodded and smiled back – as much from Joss as the exquisite taste of the warm smoke. “Sure. Keep it up and I’ll make it permanent. It would mean a raise.” He held up two pinched fingers. “A small one, anyhow.”

  “Wow, that would be great.”

  “We haven’t gotten together lately. Would you want to?”

  “Yeah, sure. What did you have in mind?”

  After the way it had gone last time, Harry wasn’t about to invite him back to spend time around Sirvon. She still shot daggers at him with her eyes every time Joss’ name came up. “We could go hit a bar if you like.”

  He tensed up his face. “I guess I’d rather save that for when I get that raise.” He thought for a little bit and said, “what if you came to my place for dinner? You can bring Sirvon.”

 
Harry grimaced. “Ah, I don’t know, Joss. She can be a little… touchy.”

  “You know, I’m… not sure what happened the last time.”

  “Honestly?” said Harry as he pulled air through the cigarette.

  “No clue.” Joss held his hand up. ‘I swear.”

  Harry dropped his voice. “Well… I wasn’t going to get into this, but it was the ‘gabacho’ comment. Sirvon… Well, there’s things you just don’t understand about our home.”

  He couldn’t imagine what Harry was trying to tell him. “I don’t follow. What’s your family got to do with this?”

  Harry raked his fingers through his hair and shifted his feet. He took a last pull on his smoke, dropped the rest of it on the macadam and ground its embers with his shoe. He hesitated when he met Joss’ eyes, but he took him by the arm and quickly drew him a little further away from everyone else. When he spoke, his voice was so low that Joss had to lean in to hear him. “Sirvon isn’t what she seems to be, and neither are the kids.”

  What in the world was he talking about, they aren’t what they seem? Then it clicked, and Joss understood. “You mean they’re simulants?”

  “What the hell is the matter with you?” he said as he tried to covertly look around. “Will you keep your voice down?! Yes, dammit, they’re simulants!”

  “This is crazy, Harry. How could you marry a simulant?”

  His brow drew down in anger. “Watch your tone, Breylin. Don’t piss me off.”

  “No, man – listen,” he said, moderating his voice. “I’m just a little shocked. We’re not allowed to inter-marry. They aren’t people as far as the government is concerned. How’d you get away with it?”

  The tension left Harry. “A long time ago I was a test pilot for ships with prototype interstellar drives. She was one of the units they gave me, a specialized tech model suited to the work, really intelligent.”

  Breylin nodded. “Okay…”

  “She’s… well, she’s also really funny, and caring, too. I treated her with respect, and I got to see those sides of her. There was an unspoken understanding around others, but on board it was just the three of us. She and I became friends – only – and it worked. Hang on, I need another smoke.” He smiled. “I have to have all the smokes I’m going to while I’m at work – she won’t let me do it at home.”