Arranged

by Jennifer Kittredge

  I was left alone with my thoughts. Remembering Marcus sliding his tongue down my cheek, squeezing my breasts, and licking my ear, I panicked. I found the loofah, squeezed body wash over it, and begin to scrub my body frantically. I want him off me. Desperate, conscious of a growing sense of losing control but unable to help myself, I was still scrubbing ferociously when Sam returned to the bathroom.

  “Sydney?”

  I barely heard him as I continued to scrub myself raw.

  “Sydney! Stop. Please. You’re going to hurt yourself.” He grabbed the loofa from my hands.

  “Sydney, I need you to tell me what happened. Were you sexually assaulted?” he asked gently.

  I shook my head.

  “Did whoever do this touch you inappropriately?”

  Nodding, I buried my face in my palms.

  “Sydney, look at me. Please.”

  I couldn’t. I couldn’t bear to look him. I felt dirty and ashamed, and knowing that I had to lie to him compounded it and made me feel filthy inside, as well. I didn’t know what to do. Feeling the water level rise around me, I looked up. Sam had stepped into the tub opposite me. He sat and pulled me gently onto his lap.

  “Sam, I can’t. I just can’t talk about it.” I wept, tears streaming down my face once again.

  “I know it’s hard, but I need you to talk to me. I’m your safe place. Whatever happened, we’ll get through this together. I won’t leave you to deal with this on your own.”

  “I’m so scared.”

  “I know. Please, Sydney. Tell me. Was this Marcus?”

  “Yes,” I whispered, then gasped involuntarily as I realized what I had done. For one awful moment, I saw Mom and Lauren laid out on tables in the morgue, and my heart clenched in painful protest.

  His arms tensed around me, and though I felt his anger, I knew it wasn’t directed at me. Somehow, that infused a little confidence, allowing relief to creep in slowly behind it.

  “Go on,” he urged.

  Summoning my courage, I told him everything. “I thought I was meeting a new client, a Mr. Evans. I arrived early because I wanted to check out the building before he arrived. I was in there for maybe ten minutes, and that’s when Marcus arrived. He told me Mr. Evans sent him instead, which I don’t believe for one second. I tried to leave. I told him it was a conflict of interest and I would gladly reschedule him with another realtor. When I went to leave, he…he…” I took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly. “He grabbed me by my arm.”

  I bit down on my bottom lip, willing myself not to break down again. I didn’t want to give Marcus that much control over my emotions. I could tell Sam was struggling to keep his in check as his entire body was tense as he held me. Safe there in his warmth, I saw with awful clarity that I had to be honest. A lie would have kept me bound as Marcus’ plaything, his pawn, and everything in me quivered in revulsion at the mere thought. I had to see this through.

  “Are you okay to keep going?” Sam’s voice was barely audible.

  “Yes. I’m okay.” I took another deep breath to steady myself.

  “After he grabbed me by my arm, he dragged me through the building to that wooden chair, tying me to it so I couldn’t move. I felt so helpless. I tried to fight him off as he was dragging me, but I was no match for him. Once I was tied up, he told me what I needed to do, how he would be watching me and if I didn’t do as he planned, my mom and my sister would have some sort of freak accident. He threatened my family, Sam! He’s a monster.”

  “Keep going,” he coaxed, his voice calm and level. “What did he tell you to do?”

  “He told me I had to divorce you quickly. That I was to tell you my ex came back, and I was madly in love with him, so I was leaving you. I told him you’d never believe it. That’s when he yanked me hard by the hair.”

  “Son of a bitch.” His voice was thick with emotion.

  “After that, he gagged me. He said I looked good bound and gagged and maybe one, day he’d have me like that. He licked the tears from my face. I’ve never felt so violated and so helpless in my life.” I faltered for a moment, struggling to fight a sudden wave of nausea, then closed my eyes and continued. “Then, he massaged his private parts in front of me. He straddled me, pressing it into my belly. I tried to turn my head away, but he yanked it back, licking down my jawline until his mouth was on the side of mine. His hands squeezed both my breasts hard and then he massaged them before getting up and leaving.”

  Sam was quiet for a long time. He stroked my hair gently as my head leaned against his shoulder.

  “Sam?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Say something. Please.”

  “I’m thinking about how I can get away with murder and what slow, agonizing ways I can torture that piece of shit.” He paused for a moment. “I’m so sorry he did this to you. I knew he was a sleaze ball, but I never thought he’d go this far.”

  “You can’t murder anyone, Sam. I’d like to keep you around for however long I get to have you, so that’s off the table.”

  “I know. But I’d love to get my hands on him. We should probably tell the police.”

  I shook my head vehemently. “I don’t want to do that. He said he has plenty of allies in the department who will back him up in order to keep their confidentiality. Apparently, there are a few bad cops who spend their time at his clubs.”

  “I don’t doubt that. But there are also plenty of good cops, and I happen to know a couple of detectives. I want to at least inform them. That way, they can start a paper trail, just in case he tries anything else.”

  “Can we wait until tomorrow?”

  “No, I don’t think we can wait. I know you’re exhausted, but it’s important that we get this on their radar as soon as we can. It’s bad enough that we didn’t call them when we went looking for you. But they wouldn’t have done anything until you were gone for twenty-four hours. I couldn’t wait that long.”

  “I’m glad you didn’t.” I stretched up and kissed him on his cheek. “I’m glad you found me.”

  “Let’s get you washed and out of the tub. Then I’ll make a few phone calls.”

  Sam took the liberty of washing me. I didn’t think he trusted me with the loofa after I’d tried scrubbing Marcus’ filth off me. He was steady and gentle, which was just what I needed at that moment. He helped me out of the tub, wrapped me in a large fluffy white towel, then dried himself.

  “Why don’t you go get into something comfortable? Your jammies will be just fine.” He smiled before kissing my forehead gently.

  Chapter Eighteen

  I recounted the horrific incident for the private detectives. While I hated going over it again, I knew it was for the best. They appeared to believe my story, but I worried they might be part of the elusive underground network Marcus spoke of.

  “Thank you for your time, Mrs. Andrews. We’ve noted everything and will be in touch.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  I was exhausted by this point. I wanted to crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head.

  “Let’s get you to bed.”

  It was as if he’d read my mind. Hand in hand, he led me upstairs to the master bedroom. I crawled into bed, pulling the covers up to my neck. I felt the bed lower behind me, and his strong arms pulled me into his chest. I felt safe, as I always did in Sam’s arms, but tonight, I felt as if he was my protector. Thinking I’d fall asleep quickly, I struggled with the images of Marcus in my head. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw him leering over me, touching me, licking me, pulling my hair. I sat up abruptly, my head in my hands.

  “Sydney?”

  “I can’t sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I see that monster.”

  Reaching up, Sam pulled me back down into his arms.

  “You’re safe with me, Sydney. Try to sleep.”

  I continue to wrestle with images of Marcus. My heart pounded rapidly as I recalled his slithery hands touching me. I turned to face Sam, pressing my face into his chest, getting as clo
se to him as I possibly could. I loved the smell of Sam…he was intoxicating…so intoxicating… I finally drifted off into a deep sleep.

  When I woke in the morning, Sam was still holding me. I wasn’t sure how he managed to sleep like that all night, but he did. I opened my eyes carefully, not really ready to face the day, and saw his green emeralds looking directly at me. He smiled, stroking my face lightly.

  “How’d you sleep?”

  “I think okay after I finally fell asleep.”

  “Good. You were restless for a little while but finally let yourself fall into a deep sleep.”

  “I feel rested, so I must have slept well.”

  “I let Emily know you wouldn’t be in today.”

  I tensed as the words slipped easily out of his mouth.

  “Why would you do that?”

  “You need a few days to recover.”

  “No, I don’t. I just got back, Sam. I won’t let that asshole have that kind of control over my life. I’m going to work today.”

  “Sydney. Please. Take a day. You’ve just been through so much.”

  I sighed heavily.

  “No. I won’t take a day. I hate that he already took so much of my yesterday. I’ll be fine.”

  Sam rolled over, sitting up on the side of the bed, his head in his hands. I crawled up behind him and hugged him and kissed his back tenderly, then rested my head on it.

  “I’m not leaving the office today. If I get called out, I’ll take someone with me. I won’t be alone. I promise.”

  I was in my office by ten. A nervous tension had a hold of my body, and I struggled not to let it get the best of me. I didn’t want to give Marcus that control over me. Yes, he was terrifying, but I couldn’t live my life in fear of him. That wouldn’t be living. It would merely be existing, and I’d done that long enough. The difference was that I’d previously done it out of choice, a kind of personal lethargy driven by petty fears. I’d still had control, the ability to make changes. If I gave in to Marcus, I’d live under his thumb, in constant terror and utterly within his power.

  I spent the day catching up, making phone calls, and scheduling appointments. I kept my promise to Sam and didn’t leave the office.

  Emily was happy to see me, although she thought I should have stayed home today too. I didn’t think I could have actually not worked today. I needed to be occupied. I needed to shift my focus to other things instead of the memories of what happened yesterday. Being at work provided me that temporary relief. I knew any sort of down time would have my mind lost in the horrible memories of things I knew I’d have to face sometime, but not yet. I wasn’t ready to go there yet. They’d come soon enough.

  I wrapped my day up at five, said good-bye to Em, and headed to my car.

  “What are you doing here?” A wide grin spread across my face.

  “Taking my wife to dinner.”

  “Is that so?”

  “Yes, that’s so. We have a date with Gram and Pop. I had to reschedule yesterday.”

  “Oh. I totally forgot about that. Okay, should I follow you there?”

  “No. Hop in, Mrs. Andrews. We’ll drive together. John will be by in a little while to pick up your car.”

  I hopped in happily. We chatted easily on the way, avoiding anything that might shake my calm. I filled him in on my day, telling him about a potential new listing I had on Bayshore.

  We arrived at their estate twenty-five minutes later. Gram was waiting in the hallway as we entered.

  “Sam.” She pulled him into a tight embrace.

  “Is everything okay, Gram?”

  “Hi, Sydney.” She hugged me tightly.

  “Gram?”

  “He’s struggling today, Sam. It hasn’t been a good day.”

  “What’s going on?”

  “Lack of energy. Trouble breathing. He’s resting now.”

  “You should have told us. We could have come at another time.”

  “I thought it would be best if you went up to see him. I don’t know how much time we have left.”

  Sam squeezed my hand. I grabbed hold of his upper arm, hoping it offered him some sort of comfort.

  “You go ahead. I’ll stay down here with your gram.”

  He hesitated for only a moment, then walked up the stairs.

  “How about a drink, Sydney?”

  “I’d love one.”

  I followed her to the kitchen, expecting to see Smith. Gram must have noticed my surprise when she poured me a glass of wine.

  “I gave Smith the night off. I needed some space. I’ve had people around me for a very long time. Sometimes, I need the solitude.”

  I nodded my head in understanding.

  She handed me a glass, then took a long sip of her wine.

  “I always thought it would be me that would go first. I never thought about my life without him because I didn’t think I’d ever be without him.” She sounded weary, her voice a bit shaky. “I’m not sure what I’m going to do without him.”

  “I’m sorry, Mrs. Andrews.”

  “It’s a part of life, my dear. Not a good part, but a part never the less. If I could impart some wisdom to you and Sam, it would be to enjoy every moment you have with each other. Don’t fret the small stuff, which most of it is anyway. Just love each other, have fun with each other, and never take each other for granted. You never know how much time you have.”

  I leaned over and hugged her.

  “Most of the time, it’s never enough,” she whispered.

  Sam returned, looking grim.

  “I’m sorry you have to see him that way, Sammy.”

  “It’s okay, Gram. As much as I hate seeing him this way, I want to be near him whenever I can.”

  “You always were such a sweet boy.”

  He flushed at her words.

  “You were and still are, Sam. Pop always believed in you. He knew after Lena betrayed you, you’d never give your heart away again. That’s why he forced you into it before he dies. He wanted to see you settle down. He thought you’d been single for far too long. He believed the right person was out there for you and if your hand was forced, you’d do everything in your power to find her.”

  “You can’t be serious, Gram.” He looked surprised, his eyes wide as he focused on her.

  “I am very serious, Samuel. I asked him to change the will, but you know how stubborn he is. He always gets what he wants. It must be where you get it from.” She winked at him, and he returned it with a knowing smile.

  “It appears he was right, doesn’t it?”

  She nodded her head toward me. Sam turned, his eyes finding mine.

  “It appears he was,” he whispered.

  I smiled hesitantly, extremely uncomfortable with this entire conversation. A knot formed in the pit of my stomach, a cruel reminder that the end of us was very near. With Sam’s grandfather taking another turn for the worse, it could be mere days before I was back to single, PJ-wearing Sydney Alexander. The thought filled me with dread.

  Resolutely, I pushed my grim thoughts to the side, and we had a wonderful evening with Sam’s gram. I adored her. She told many stories of Sam’s childhood, which made me incredibly happy. Sam’s love of real estate started early, as did his love for technology. Gram mentioned how Sam was always trying to find solutions to make people’s lives easier. One time, he recorded himself reading a book so that his great grandmother could listen to it when she lost her eye sight. Granted, it was a children’s book, but she loved it because it was Sam’s voice. He was ten at the time.

  After dinner, Sam went back upstairs to say good-bye to his pop. I remained with his gram, wanting to give him his space.

  “Sydney, I want you to know, whatever happens over the next few weeks or months—because I honestly don’t know how long we have—you’ve made a significant impact on Sam. I see the way he looks at you. Be patient with him. What Marcus and Lena did to him left a sour taste in his mouth when it comes to relationships and trust, but I see how diffe
rent he is with you.”

  “Thank you, Mrs. Andrews. He’s made a significant impact on me too.”

  “I can tell, sweet girl. Sam’s a good man. He’s always had a huge heart but he’s also stubborn, like his pop. He gets that head of his set on something and it’s difficult for him to see or believe anything else. Be patient.”

  She hugged me, then whispered in my ear, “Don’t give up on him easily.”

  I bit my lip to keep the tears from spilling over. Did she know about our business arrangement? She couldn’t, could she? It was obvious she could tell how much I loved Sam, but did she know he didn’t really love me? Did she realize all of this was one big charade so he could save the family name and business? Did she know he would tell me to leave and my heart would shatter?

  “I won’t,” was all I could manage.

  Sam was quiet on the way home, and I knew he had a hard time coming to terms with his grandfather’s failing health. At any moment, the devastating news of his pop’s passing could be the end of so many wonderful things: a beautiful marriage of sixty-five years, grandchildren who adored him, a business legacy that was more than impressive, friends and acquaintances who loved and respected him. So many wonderful relationships would end with the passing of this amazing man. I felt selfish thinking that it would also be the end of my marriage, but my mind wouldn’t stop dwelling on it.

  “A penny for your thoughts?”

  His voice was stilted, and I knew he was trying to hold back the emotion there.

  “I was just thinking about the legacy your pop has. He’s touched so many people’s lives.”

  “He has.”

  “I’m so sorry, Sam. I know this isn’t easy for you.”

  He didn’t respond. He didn’t have to. I know something of what he was going through. Instead, he reached his hand across the center console, searching for mine. I placed my hand willingly in his. He squeezed it twice, I assumed to acknowledge the comfort it gave him. We rode the rest of the way home in comfortable silence, his hand never leaving mine until he turned the car off.

  John appeared, and he helped me out of the passenger seat and escorted me to the front door where Bear was waiting.