Don't Tempt Me: A High School Bully Romance (Broke & Bullied Book 2)

by Kai Juniper

  Why does love have to hurt so much? Why does it have to be so complicated? And why is this happening now? Why couldn't it happen when I'm older and have my life together?

  I hear noise coming from the living room and jump up from my bed. My mom won't be home for hours and she and I are the only ones with keys. I search my room for a weapon but all I can find is an award statue I got from winning the eighth grade spelling bee. I grab it and walk to my bedroom door, slowly opening it.

  "Hi, honey," my mom says as she passes by the door.

  "Mom, you scared the crap out of me!" I follow her to her room. "I thought you were a burglar. What are you doing home so early?"

  "I needed time to get ready so I took off a little early. What are you doing home? I thought you'd be at the hospital."

  "I was, but then the football team showed up and I decided to go."

  "Are you going back later?" she asks, taking off her necklace and setting it on her dresser.

  "I don't know. Maybe."

  She walks over to me as she takes off her earrings. "Honey, is something wrong?"

  "No. Why?"

  "I'm just surprised you wouldn't go back. You're finally able to see Dean and now you don't want to?"

  "I do. I just have a lot to do. I have a test to study for and I need to finish some homework."

  Her brows rise. "You're choosing homework over Dean? That doesn't sound right. What happened?"

  "Nothing. I'll let you get ready." I start to leave, then turn back. "What are you getting ready for?"

  "I'm going to dinner." She turns and walks to her closet.

  "With who?"

  "Canton Mayfield."

  "Who's that?"

  She turns to me, holding a dress. "You know Canton. He used to play golf with your father."

  "The old guy? Why are you having dinner with him?"

  She smiles. "He's not old. He's only two years older than your father. And he's a very nice man. And funny. He has a wonderful sense of humor."

  "Wait—is this a date?"

  She turns back to her closet and hangs up the dress. "It's just dinner. Canton and I reconnected at lunch the other day and he asked if I'd like to have dinner."

  I walk over to her. "So it IS a date. You're dating Dad's friend."

  She sighs. "It's not a date. It's just two friends having dinner. And Canton and your father were golfing buddies. They weren't close friends."

  "He's been to our house for dinner. More than once. With his wife."

  "His EX-wife. He's divorced now." She takes out a red sleeveless dress. "What do you think of this one?"

  "If it isn't a date, why do you care?"

  "I still want to look nice."

  I lean against the wall, watching as she continues to sort through her dresses. "Mom, I don't care if you date. You don't have to hide it from me. And I won't tell Dad."

  "I'm sure he'll still find out. You know how gossip travels with those people. But I don't mind if he knows. He has a new wife now. He shouldn't care." She says it with a slight smile.

  "That's not why you're doing this, is it? To get back at Dad? Make him jealous?"

  "Of course not, honey. I'm doing this because I need to get out there again. Your father's moved on with someone else and I need to as well."

  "With Canton Mayfield?" I say, scrunching up my face. "Isn't he kind of boring and stuffy?"

  "Maybe a little, but he loosens up after a few drinks."

  "You really want a guy who has to be drunk to be fun?"

  "That is not what I meant. He just tends to be on the serious side."

  "Dad was serious all the time and you hated it."

  "I didn't hate it. And I got used to it. Relationships are about give and take. There's no one out there who's perfect. Canton is a very respectable man with a lot to offer. He's intelligent, and he owns a very successful investment firm."

  "So he's rich. Is he richer than Dad?"

  "Maybe," she says with a shrug. "How about this one?" She holds up a black cocktail dress.

  "Where is he taking you?"

  "To a private club downtown. It's very exclusive." She smiles. "The girls about died when I told them I'm going there."

  "What girls?"

  "Martina and Reese. They've been waiting for years to get an invite to this club." She holds up the dress as she looks in the mirror. “They’re taking me to lunch next week so I can tell them all about it.” She turns back to me. "Honey, I really need to get ready. I'm meeting Canton in an hour."

  I leave her room and go back to mine, trying to remember this Canton guy. If he's the guy I'm thinking of, he doesn't seem like my mom's type. He's short and bald, with a stocky build. My dad is tall and thin with a thick head of hair. Canton's wife was a tall blonde like my mom so I can see why he'd be attracted to her but I don't know why she'd be attracted to him, other than for his money.

  My mom says she's changed since moving here, but it's only somewhat true. She's definitely more independent now but she misses having money. Having money to pay the bills isn't enough. She wants the kind of money that buys a life of luxury, which my dad gave her but he limited her spending. It sounds like this new guy wouldn't have to. He's rich enough to let her buy whatever she wants. But would she be happy with him? Or does that not matter to her?

  I don't want to choose money over happiness. I want a guy who makes me happy. I want to be in love. I want forever with him.

  If only the guy I love wanted that too.

  Chapter Eleven

  Dean

  "Looking good, man," Kendrick says as he leaves.

  "Liar," I say. "Thanks for coming by."

  The other guys left a few minutes ago, except for Josh and Danny.

  The whole team showed up after practice and stayed for over an hour. I didn't think they'd stay that long but I'm glad they did. It distracted me from thinking about Brook.

  We had a fight and she left. With tears in her eyes. I hurt her. Again. I fucking hate myself for that but what I told her needed to be said, even if it hurts.

  I don't want her to leave and go back to her old school but it's selfish for me to make her stay. I'm not what's best for her. I know she doesn't believe that, but she should. She hasn't known me that long. She doesn't know all the shit about my dad and how I'm just like him. She doesn't understand that a life with me means always struggling to pay the bills, always living in a shitty house, having a shitty car.

  Brook deserves better than that. She says she doesn't want her old life anymore but if she spent a few days in mine, she'd realize it's not what she wants. That's why I told her all that today. I don't want her making decisions based on me, or on a future with me. Until a few weeks ago, I promised myself I'd never have a girlfriend and I'm starting to think I should go back to that. I love Brook like I've never loved anyone, but loving someone that way sometimes means having to let them go. I want her to be happy, and she won't be happy with someone like me.

  "We'll be back this weekend," Josh says, walking to the door. "Hurry up and get better. We miss your grumpy old ass giving us shit."

  "Grumpy? What the fuck?"

  He laughs.

  "And I'm not old!"

  He's in the hall. He didn't hear me.

  "You're almost nineteen," Danny says. "You're old." He sits on the chair next to my bed.

  "You're sticking around?"

  "Yeah. Why? You want me to leave?"

  "No, I just didn't know if you had to go."

  "I'm good." He pulls the other chair over and puts his feet up on it. "I checked the news a few minutes ago. Nothing new."

  "Yeah, I know. The cop said he'd call me if they got any leads, but so far, they have nothing."

  "They'll find him."

  "And what if they don't?"

  He shrugs. "Knowing you, you'll quit school and track the bastard down yourself."

  "You know me so well," I say with a smile.

  "Don't do it, Dean. Let the cops handle it."

&nbs
p; "The cops are worthless. It's been almost a week and they haven't done shit."

  "It's only been a few days, and you don't know what they've done. You only know what they tell you."

  "They don't know my dad. They don't know how he works. How he thinks."

  "So tell them."

  "I did, but they still don't get it. I'm the only one who knows how his brain works because I'm just like him."

  "Stop saying that shit. You're nothing like that asshole. You wouldn't do any of the shit he's done."

  "I'm not so sure about that."

  "Meaning what?"

  I look over at Danny. "I would've killed him on Monday if I could have."

  "Yeah? So would I. It's self defense."

  "I would've killed him even if he hadn't attacked me. As soon as he threatened to take Jake, I wanted him dead. If I had a gun, I would've shot him until he was dead."

  "Doesn't mean you're like him. You're protecting Jake. Protecting your family."

  I sigh. "You don't get it. You're not hearing what I'm saying."

  "I AM hearing it. I've been hearing it for years and it's a fucking lie. You're not your dad. And you never will be. You have a bad temper, and yeah, sometimes it gets out of control, but it's getting better. Even just the past year, you've changed. You stop yourself before it gets out of hand."

  "YOU stop me. I can't do it on my own."

  "That's not true. Think of all the times you lost it with Jake the past year. Did you ever lay a hand on him?"

  "No, but it's only because I took off. I can't be around him when I'm that angry."

  "But that's what I mean. You took control of the situation. You made a choice. Hit him or leave. And you left."

  "I don't want to talk about this."

  "Then let's talk about something else." He takes his feet off the chair and turns to me. "What happened with Brook?"

  "Nothing." I push myself up in the bed and lay back against the pillows.

  "Then why isn't she here?"

  I notice the TV remote beside me and pick it up. "You want to watch TV? I haven't even turned this on since I got here."

  "Dean." Danny grabs the remote from me. "Tell me what's going on with her. What did you do?"

  "I didn't do anything. Why do you assume it's me?"

  He gives me a deadpan stare. "You really have to ask?"

  "Okay, yeah, I said some stuff she didn't like but she needed to hear it."

  "What exactly did you say?"

  "I'm not talking about this with you." I hold my hand out. "Give me the remote."

  He sets it down on the chair across from him. "Did you break up with her?"

  "No. Now give me the remote."

  "Forget about the fucking TV and tell me what you did."

  "I talked to her. That's it."

  "About what?"

  "About stuff she didn't want to talk about. I didn't even bring it up. She did."

  "What did she say?"

  "Why don't you just ask her yourself? Sounds like you two have been hanging out a lot."

  "What the hell's that's supposed to mean? You think I'm going after Brook? You really think I'd do that?"

  When I don't answer, he gets up and walks across the room. "You're a fucking ass."

  "Can't argue about that," I mutter.

  "So stop doing it," he says, coming up beside me. "Stop being this way. The only reason you do it is to keep people away. And why? So you can end up alone? Is that really what you want?"

  "Just go," I tell him.

  He huffs. "So predictable. I'm trying to be a friend and you tell me to go." He walks to the door, then turns back. "You know what? I'm not leaving. I don't give a shit if you tell me to go. You can't make me leave. You're stuck in that bed. I can stay here as long as I want and keep talking about shit you don't want to talk about."

  I lay back, closing my eyes.

  "So now you're going to ignore me?" I hear the chair move as he sits down. "Fine."

  He gets quiet and I assume he'll just leave but then I hear him talking.

  "She was crying. When I saw her at the elevator, she was crying. I asked her what's wrong and she wouldn't tell me." He pauses. "You're gonna lose her, Dean. She's the best thing that's ever happened to you and you're gonna lose her."

  "I'm no good for her," I say, my eyes still closed.

  "What was that?"

  I open my eyes, staring up at the ceiling. "She may be good for me but I'm not good for her. I'm the worst thing that'll ever happen to her."

  "Here we go again. Poor Dean and his horrible life. He doesn't deserve anything good."

  "Would you stop with that shit?" I push myself up as best I can, and look at him. "This isn't about me. It's about her. Brook's dad enrolled her in her old school. He's already paid for it. She goes back there, she'll get into a good college. Have a good career. She'll meet some rich guy who will give her the life she wants. The life she deserves."

  "And you're deciding that for her?"

  I stare back at the ceiling. "I'm not deciding for her. I told her what I think is best. It's up to her to make the decision."

  "It's not really a choice when you basically just broke up with her."

  "I didn't break up with her. I told her not to plan a future with me."

  "Isn't that the same thing?"

  I don't answer.

  "You'd never lay a hand on her. Just like you'd never lay a hand on Jacob. The only way you'd hurt her is the way you're doing it now. By telling her to go away."

  I feel him staring at me but keep my eyes on the ceiling. "I don't trust myself. I never will."

  "You're not him. I promise you, you're not. I know your dad and I know you, and I'm telling you, you are nothing like him. You look like him but you don't have whatever it is in him that makes him this way. I know you don't believe that but it's true."

  "You don't know that."

  Danny sits back. "Did your dad love your mom?"

  "No."

  "Did he love you or Jake?"

  "Hell, no. He didn't even want kids. He says my mom tricked him into it."

  "So he's not capable of loving someone, not even his own kids. You love Jake like he was your son. You'd do anything for him, even give up your own life."

  "Yeah? So?"

  "You can't be like your dad if you love Jake that way. And Brook. It's not possible."

  I keep quiet, thinking about that, wondering if it's true. Maybe it is, but I'm still not willing to risk it. I'd have to kill myself if I ever lost control and took my anger out on Brook, or Jake. I couldn't live with myself if I ever harmed them.

  "Go into counseling," Danny says. "Take anger management classes. Do whatever it takes to convince yourself you're not him. Because you're not."

  I hear his phone ding.

  "Here." He hands me my phone. "Someone texted you."

  "What the hell? Where'd you get this?"

  "It was right there." He points to the table by the bed.

  "I mean, how'd it get here? I left it at the house."

  "I went back there today and got it. It was on the floor in the kitchen."

  "How'd the house look?"

  He shakes his head. "The place is a fucking mess. He tore the place apart. I didn't go in the bedroom but the living room and kitchen were pretty bad."

  "I'll clean it when I get home." I look down at my phone and see a text from Brook.

  I love you. Whatever happens with us, I just want you to know that I love you.

  "Fuck," I say, feeling wetness in my eyes.

  "What? Who's it from?"

  I show him my phone.

  Danny sits back. "What are you going to do?"

  I blow out a breath. "I don't know."

  "What if your dad wasn't an issue? What would you do?"

  "I'd..." I pause, imagining it. I can see it in my head. A life with Brook. What it'd look like. How it would feel. "I'd work my ass off to give her a good life. I'd love her and make her mine and do anything and eve
rything to keep her." I blink a few times to get rid of the tears because I'll be damned if I let Danny see them.

  "So what you're telling me is that you're giving up the girl you love, the girl you could see spending the rest of your life with, because of your dad. He wins. You lose. The guy beats the shit out of you, takes your brother, nearly kills your mom, and now he gets to take Brook from you too? And you're okay with that?"

  "Fuck, no, I'm not okay with it but what am I gonna do? It's just the way it is."

  "It's only that way because you tell yourself it is. You're giving him all the control instead of taking it for yourself. You don't have to be like him but for some reason, you're telling yourself you are, and that you can't control it. You want to know what I think?"

  "Not really," I mutter. "But I'm sure that won't stop you."

  "I think he's beat you down so bad, told you you're worthless for so many years, that you don't think you deserve someone like Brook. You don't think you deserve to be happy. Your dad's convinced you of it."

  Tears sting my eyes but I fight them back. I refuse to cry over what he did to me—the words he said that made me feel this way. I don't want to admit he affected me at all because I don't want to give him that kind of power. But fuck, what Danny is saying is true. I do feel worthless. It's all I was told every day of my life until the bastard went to prison. Even years later, I still feel this way and I can't seem to make myself feel differently.

  I don't deserve Brook, but I want her. I want her in my life so bad. Before I met her, I never even considered having a girlfriend. And marriage? Kids? No fucking way that was happening. I didn’t even let my mind go there. But Brook tempts me. She tempts me to want more—to want the life I didn’t think I could have, or even wanted.

  "I'm gonna go," Danny says, getting up. "At least text her back. She doesn't deserve to be ignored. She didn't do anything wrong. She's been here since you got here and she's been worried sick about Jake, thinking it's her fault he's gone." He walks to the door. "A girl like her isn't coming along again. This is your chance, Dean, to finally have something good. You need to make a decision. I'll see you, man."