“Speaking of breakfast, I smell something with bacon,” Will said, his stomach growling. “Or is that a new perfume you’re wearing?”
“No way. If I bought something to wear here, it would smell like a giant blueberry muffin—split, buttered, and grilled,” Jessica informed him, “and probably would have strong fragrance notes of some sort of flavored coffee.”
Will laughed and took her hand as they went inside. They talked and laughed over breakfast and joked with other restaurant patrons who couldn’t help staring at the striking, tall, older couple dressed in motorcycle gear.
“So how long you two been married?”
Jessica paused mid-bite of her muffin and froze at the question someone across from them was asking. Her gaze went to Will’s, which was on her and not on the elderly gentleman asking the question.
After a short while, Will turned his gaze to the man’s and answered smoothly. “Sometimes it feels like thirty years. Sometimes it feels like two months.”
The man laughed and shook his head at Will’s answer. Jessica swallowed the muffin bite, but had to chase it with coffee still hot enough to burn her tongue.
“That’s honest, don’t you think?” Will finally asked Jessica, taking a bite of his breakfast sandwich while he waited to see what she would say.
Just like that—whether they were ready to discuss it or not—their talk last night was hanging out there between them, demanding to be acknowledged, demanding to be put to rest somehow. Only Jessica didn’t know how to put it to rest. It had awakened her at 5 a.m., and she had mentally worked two hours on setting it aside just so she wouldn’t brood about it today.
Jessica stared at Will as she sipped her coffee, debating on how honestly to reply to what he said. Since she didn’t know how to answer in a way Will would understand, she turned and smiled at the man who asked the original question.
“I made the mistake of confessing to Will that he reminded me of my husband who died thirty years ago. I don’t know if he’s ever going to let me forget it. The truth is Will and I have only known each for a couple of months,” Jessica said lightly, breaking off another bite of muffin to stuff in her mouth to stop herself from saying more.
“Two months? You two sure act like a married couple,” the man’s wife said, joining into the teasing. “You thinking about keeping him, honey?”
Jessica tilted her head at the woman’s teasing question, and smiled wickedly around a bite of muffin. Teasing she could handle.
“Well, I have to say that now and again it seems like a good idea. Did you see the size of his bike in the parking lot? That machine is amazing, and Will gives a good ride,” she said in her best sexy voice, her amused gaze on Will as he reacted to her words.
“Hot coffee,” Will said to the couple, flushing and coughing to clear his throat.
Jessica held his gaze across the table and Will watched her eat bite after bite of muffin, licking the remaining blueberry and butter from her fingers on the last one. He was completely unable to hold back a sigh, but he bore her teasing by planning what he was going to do to her when they got back to her place.
“Jessica and I have a lot of fun together,” Will said, smiling at Jessica, knowing his gaze was warning her he would seek retribution. “It only gets interesting when we fight.”
“You know, I cannot believe how hungry I suddenly am,” Jessica said, leaning over the table to pluck a bit of bacon off his plate, and letting him look down her shirt at the leopard print bra she had worn. Thirty years of dating had taught her many ways to distract men and keep them from delving too deeply into her psyche or asking too many questions.
Will looked down Jessica’s shirt as he sipped his coffee, wondering how he was ever going to convince her to devote herself to one man. No matter how much Jessica teased or flirted, Will knew great sex alone was never going to be enough for him. Even if he believed Jessica’s flattery about being the best lover she’d ever had, Will now knew his competition for her heart wasn’t guys like Steve Lipton or the math teacher.
It was Nathan Daniels that Jessica called out for in her dreams. Will had no idea how any live male could ever compete with a ghost she still loved.
***
After breakfast, they rode over to Versailles and then looped back the way they had first come to enjoy the scenery through the horse farms again. It was a beautiful, crisp day, and the breeze was perfect.
When they got back to the house, Will hung up his jacket and tossed his helmet on the bench. He took Jessica’s hand and tugged her into his arms, pulling the shirt from her body and tossing it beside the helmet. He pulled his own over his head and tossed it there as well. When he leaned back with her in his arms, she ran restless hands over him and ended up unsnapping his jeans almost like a reflex action.
“Just so you know,” Will said roughly as her hands explored him, “this time is going to be just for me. I’ll try to make sure you get there, but no promises.”
Jessica unzipped him and slipped a hand inside the front of his jeans. “Okay. Tell me what you want.”
“I’m going to make this really simple. I want to take you upstairs and try to break your girlie bed again,” Will told her softly. “And I want you to look me in the eye while I do it.”
Jessica shook in anticipation and her hand trembled as it cupped Will’s growing desire for her. “Let’s go,” she said hoarsely, reluctantly removing her hand.
They walked upstairs together and in the bedroom shed the rest of their clothes. When they were both completely naked, Will kissed Jessica and pulled her down beside him on the bed. Then he rolled her sideways and pushed her back, moving over her until he could feel her heart beating frantically.
“Excited or scared?” he asked, pressing his lips to the side of her neck.
“Both,” Jessica answered honestly. “Will, I think you’re always going to scare me a little. I’m just not used to a man who excites me as much as you do. It’s like you have a power over my arousal that makes me nervous.”
“If you expect me to apologize for that, you’re going to have a hell of a long wait,” Will said, bracing himself at the entrance to her body. “Let me inside you, Jessica. Invite me in.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, feeling just the finger tips of one of Will’s hands skimming the inside of her thigh.
She bent her knee and raised her leg to grant him more access.
“You know exactly what I mean, or at least your body seems to know,” Will told her. “How ready are you?”
“Why don’t you find out for yourself?” she asked, her body flushed as his fingertips explored but never went where she needed them most, where he would have known the answer to his question. Instead, he pressed just the tip of his erection into her.
“Is this for me?” Will asked, pushing into her a fraction and stopping.
“Yes,” she said, arching her hips to offer more, moaning in protest when Will didn’t deepen the contact.
“Are you sure?” he asked against her mouth. “I only want what’s mine.”
“If this is a quiz, the answer is yes. Damn it. Yes,” Jessica said fiercely. “I want you. Do you always have to talk so much?”
She watched Will’s gaze darkened and eyes narrow at her criticism.
“Keep your eyes open or I stop,” he told her, sliding in a little more, stopping, and retreating when she closed her eyes in pleasure. “No. Look at me. I want to be sure you see me. Today is my turn, and I want you to want me—only me.”
Jessica forced her eyes open to hold Will’s gaze as he slid into her inch by agonizing inch. When she felt him go in as far as he could, she watched his face as he pulled almost all the way out, and saw the flash in his eyes as he drove hard into her, slamming his hips to hers in possession. Jessica lifted both knees and braced for the next thrust and really had to work at keeping her gaze on his fierce one. One more thrust with him looking at her that way and she was going to shatter beneath him without finesse.
/> “Jessica, I want the power you give me over you. I want to be the only one you let inside for the rest of our lives. So factor that into your thinking,” Will demanded roughly, caught on the edge of sanity by what he was doing. “I was trying like hell not to say anything so possessive, but damn, lady—I can’t seem to ever be with you without thinking of you as completely mine.”
“Will,” Jessica said, her heart expanding again until she thought for sure it would burst in her chest.
“Oh shut up, you talk too much,” he said harshly, laughing at her. “Less talking, more moving. And look at me, damn it.”
Jessica held his gaze as he demanded, until the wave hit. Then her head rolled back as her body rose up against his. Jessica heard Will make a sound above her, the sound a guttural groan that came from deep within him, and then he called her name as she instinctively tightened around him. All through her climax, Will’s body staked it’s possession of hers until Jessica finally felt his release sweep over him.
As they lay in the broad daylight sideways across her bed afterward, Jessica wrapped an exhausted Will in her arms and held him as he slipped quietly into sleep on top of her. She didn’t move him, nor did she want to disconnect them. Instead, she thought about the conflicting emotions Will brought to her each and every time they were together.
Their discussion last night had given her the gift of some old, sweet memories back. That didn’t mean she would ever use Will as a substitute, though she could understand Will might have concerns about it.
Today, Will had selfishly demanded equal time with her. Jessica’s heart beat hard as she thought about just how much she had wanted to give Will his own time, how much she had wanted to obey his directions, and how close she had been to agreeing that he could have all he wanted of her forever.
But an unexpected side benefit of last night was an understanding of the source of her recent PTSD symptoms. As crazy as it seemed after thirty years, Jessica realized she wasn’t over the death of her husband. It was like the rape had disrupted her grieving for Nathan. Instead of going through it, she had just set it aside until she had starting falling in love with a man who some similar traits.
Last night, she had remembered her marriage, and in remembering had missed Nathan Daniels with her entire being, even though she woke this morning nothing but grateful to see Will’s sleeping form beside her in bed. It was confusing, painful, wonderful, and upsetting all at the same time.
Jessica decided she was going to have move up her yearly maintenance appointment with her therapist. She needed to find out if there was a possibility that she might actually be able to love another man.
Chapter 18
When Will came home Sunday evening, Michael was in the courtyard feeding a fire in his gas fire pit with a small black kettle on the grate. Instead of his customary ponytail, Michael’s long hair was hanging free to the middle of his back. Will smiled because his son looked like a wizard bent over a cauldron. Whatever he was brewing, the look of concentration on his son’s face would be very intimidating to anyone who didn’t know it was just how Michael looked when he was absorbed in his work.
Will slid the patio door open and walked out to join him. Michael’s head came up, and he nodded, but said nothing in greeting. He walked a little closer and peered into the kettle.
“Is that gold?” Will asked, surprised to see the molten liquid.
“Yes. I’m making wedding rings,” Michael said, finally meeting his father’s gaze. He sighed, and then just said the words. “I’m getting married, Dad.”
Will arched an eyebrow. His oldest son’s facial expressions had always said more than his words ever had. What Will saw in Michael’s face was a combination of complete shock and absolute determination. “Most people just buy rings these days.”
“Not a metal sculptor, and not for this woman,” Michael said sincerely. “When I put this ring on her finger, I want to have breathed life into it myself. My every interaction with her from here on out is going to communicate my commitment.”
“Something happen this weekend you want to tell me about?” Will asked, running a hand over his face. Seeing Michael in this hell-bent determined state was like winding back the clock thirty years for him.
“I haven’t asked her to marry me yet, but I’m going to this week,” Michael said quietly. “She’s having my baby, and I intend to marry her whether we stay that way or not.”
Will stood for few moments saying nothing as he absorbed the full magnitude of what Michael was sharing. He studied the molds standing by waiting. One was smaller and obviously a woman’s ring. The other was its mate. His guess was that it would never get any more serious for Michael than crafting the band he would use to bind the woman he wanted to him.
When he finally forced his gaze to Michael’s determined face and hard jaw again, for a moment all Will could see was the sensitive, emotional boy he’d been. Now that boy was going to be a father. Will knew full well all the changes that meant, and they were enormous. After the baby came, Michael would never be a boy again. He could only hope his son was up to the challenge.
“Carrie Addison?” Will asked finally, though it hardly needed asking. He knew Michael hadn’t been out with anyone else but her in a couple months.
Michael’s eyes flashed at the name. “Yes. Carrie Addison. She came to see me last night to tell me I’m going to be a father. I called Dietrich this morning and made him sell me gold today because I wanted to get these done while I’m inspired. I’m making hers a common small size and thicker. It will be easy to heat and stretch it when I get the exact measurement. If I have my way, you and I are going to get a permanent roommate in a week or so. I hope you’re okay with that.”
“Sure, I’m fine with it. I need to look for my own place anyway. What happens if Carrie doesn’t want to live with you?” Will posed, trying to make sure his son realized that he wasn’t going to be able to force the woman to do anything, pregnant or not.
“Carrie’s sick all the time and can’t take care of herself. She needs me to agree to certain things, so I’m making marriage to me and living here a condition of our—contractual agreement. It’s not like she hasn’t been married before,” Michael said harshly, not wanting to remember that she said she married those other men just to stay away from him.
In fact, all last night he’d thought about how long he’d wanted Carrie, how many years he’d felt like she should be with him. So he had decided he would just get over husbands one and two, and Carrie Addison was just going to have to get over the bad past with a selfish boy Michael no longer remembered.
Then after he married her, he was going to make the relationship legal in every way. And when he made love to his wife, it was going to be even more meaningful than the night they conceived the baby. If Carrie ended up leaving him eventually, Michael intended to make it as hard as possible for her. He wanted to make staying with him seem like the only option that made any sense.
“Dad, did you ever do anything you regretted with a woman?” Michael asked finally.
Will put his hands in his pockets as he thought about it. “Sure, I think everybody has something in their love life they regret. If you date a lot, it just increases the odds that you’re going to mess up. Somehow we all seem to move past our mistakes eventually. Why?”
“Carrie told me we got together in college and that I treated her badly. I don’t even remember her, but it’s true I treated a lot of women badly for a short period of time. Maybe I’m becoming an even bigger bastard because I’m not going to let the past get in the way of marrying her now that I have the chance.” Michael looked at the ground and not at his father.
Will could tell that nothing he said was going to deter Michael from trying to force Carrie to marry him, but what you said to a twenty-year-old and what you said to a man heading to age thirty-five were different things. His son had lived too long to not have made some mistakes, but all a person could ever do was make it up as best they could.
Michael snorted and shook his head, wanting to cry at how good his father was.
“I can always count on you to see the bright side. God, I want to be just like you when I finally grow up,” he said sadly, lifting the kettle and pouring the liquid gold carefully into the tiny molds. “It’s truly not just about the baby. The baby is just giving me an excuse. I want Carrie to be my wife. I’ve wanted her even when she was married to other men. Even Shane can’t figure that craziness out.”
He set the kettle on a nearby table to cool. Taking a tiny rubber mallet, Michael tapped the molds gently to make sure the air bubbles left the now cooling gold.
“You want to be like me? Son, you already are like me,” Will said, laughing roughly as they watched the gold pool and solidify. “That’s what got you into this mess. Your mother was pregnant with you when we got married. Granted, we married when she was only a couple months along, so no one really knew but us. We didn’t even tell our folks anything other than we were tired of waiting.”
Michael looked at his father and laughed. “Seriously? You knocked up Mom before you married her?”
Will rolled his eyes at Michael’s description and shrugged. “It was just one of those attractions too big to fight. I had no regrets at the time. Neither did your mother. At the time, I wanted both of you badly. She wanted the same things. We couldn’t stay away from each other.”
He looked deep into Michael’s eyes to make sure his son was hearing all his words. “Your mother and I have always agreed we would have ended up together no matter what. That part of our past didn’t change even when we divorced. Some relationships in life just seem to be inevitable and happen when they happen. I have never understood people who choose to spend their entire life being in denial about someone they love. I’d rather go through the divorce again than to not have you or Shane.”
Carved in Stone Page 20
