Paper Dolls, Book One

by Emma Chamberlain

  I made my way over to Olivia, my entourage in tow. The heat from the fireplace hit me as we got closer and I wished that I could just sit down with her and be normal but we lived in an imperfect world where we actually had to think about appearances.

  “Hey,” I said, sitting down on the edge of the couch she was lounging on. “I’m back.”

  “Hey you,” she said, closing her book. She sat up and took my hand in hers, pulling me to move closer to her. “How was it out there?”

  I smiled, my hand lighting on fire with her touch. I wondered if she knew what she was doing, touching me like this in front of people, especially these people. “It was good. Hey, you know Skyler, Sarah, and Clint, right?” I pointed to each in turn and tried to keep my smile bright.

  “Umm, not really,” she said, her eyes squinting as she smiled to look at them. “Friend or foe?” She asked, sizing them up playfully one-by-one.

  Skyler raised her hand. “I call friend but watch out for Clint he’s a bit of a wild-card.”

  “Okay, and what about you?” Olivia asked, pointing loosely at Sarah, with the use of her whole hand since she was polite. Olivia hadn’t gotten up or taken off her reading glasses but she scoot to the edge of the couch and looked to be studying them honestly. Even on a couch, in conversation she sat up so straight.

  “I plead the fifth,” Sarah said, sweetness dripping off of her words.

  I nearly choked on a laugh. This was going to be interesting. Olivia still had a hold on my hand. I tried to put it out of my mind. Friends held hands all the time. Some friends. Not any friends I had but surely Skylar and Sarah were like that with their other friends. I hoped.

  My fear wasn’t even for me. News traveled fast around our school and if one of our classmate’s parents happened to know one of Olivia’s parents this might be the end of their obliviousness.

  “Yeah, Sarah likes to play both roles.” I chuckled, and so did the others, but Sarah just stared me down like I was next on her hit list.

  “I think you’re the one who plays for both sides,” Sarah said.

  “Oh,” Olivia let out a sweet sound. “Avery, if that’s true, sign me up.”

  Even Clint laughed at that one.

  I couldn’t help it. I sat there for a second, quiet but laughter soon burst out of me. Olivia was amazing me.

  “What’s wrong with not limiting your options?” I asked.

  “Yeah,” Skyler put in, nudging Sarah with her elbow. “Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it.” Skylar was DEFINITELY into girls. I suddenly noticed, we didn’t talk about that in front of Sarah ever. Somehow I never thought about that before. It’s like we both just knew not to.

  “Yeah, if Avery was gay, half the girls at school would be after her,” Clint added.

  “Most of the guys already are,” Sarah accused, giving him a look. “She can’t be that greedy.”

  “I dunno. I know how that feels,” Olivia’s voice sounded so sweet and sure after all of theirs. “Sometimes it’s not worth it to just date some random hot person. What’s the point, ya know? I mean, if you’re not going to be good for each other? Forgive me; I’ve been off in my head.”

  “Oh, we have a romantic among us,” Skyler said, grinning.

  “I’m going to have to agree,” I said.

  All three of them just kind of stared at me and then over at Olivia.

  “Well, that would be a big switch from your usual kind of dating,” Sarah commented.

  “How would you know?” I hadn’t dated anyone in a while, officially speaking anyway. No one knew about Ben except for Olivia. Panic came running up my spine. What if Sarah knew somehow? But she couldn’t. She was just fishing. Hoping that I would say something that would give her confirmation of one of her theories.

  Sarah told us about her random theories sometimes. How she knew everything about everyone. I never paid much attention but now I think I knew how she got her information. She was kind of devious in a messed up manipulative way.

  “I’ve got my sources,” Sarah claimed.

  Skyler, moved over, sitting on the arm of the couch beside me. “You do not. You’re just being a jerk.”

  I grinned. Maybe Sarah had been getting on Skyler’s nerves enough that she was turning on her. She was defending me in an offhand way.

  “Whatever, you say.” Sarah turned her attention to Olivia. “So, Oh-livia, what’s your deal?”

  “Which deal?” Olivia asked, turning to face her. “I’m sorry. I just don’t understand what you’re asking.”

  “Why are you suddenly such good friends with Avery?”

  She was going for the direct approach. Well, direct by way of asking why we were friends. Whatever she thought she was going to get out of Olivia wouldn’t come. I knew Olivia could hold her own.

  “I like Avery,” she said. “She’s a good person. I’d seen her around but never talked to her before. Life’s strange like that. All this time we could’ve been close. We had to do this stupid interview for yearbook, which isn’t over by the way,” she reminded, turning to include me momentarily. “Anyway, we just sort of clicked. What about you, Sarah? Why are you good friends with Avery? I mean, since we’re asking each other really broad and awkward questions on the spot.”

  Her answer was perfect. It shut Sarah up, redirected the line of questioning to her and forced her to say nice things about me unless she just wanted to out herself as a jealous jerk.

  “Because we’re on swim together and we started hanging out. We have stuff in common. Not like you two. We’ve been friends for three years. We’ve had a lot of fun.”

  “Oh, okay,” Olivia said, backing off. “Look, I like Avery a lot. But I’m not trying to steal her away. I just want her to be happy and have fun. And I definitely enjoy her company. I didn’t even know we were going to room together on this trip. She surprised me. If I’m being completely honest I thought she didn’t much like me before I arrived here the other day. Anyway, long stories. Personal stories. Not important. I’m not trying to step on anyone’s toes. I’m sure there’s enough Avery to go around.”

  “Hey!” I pretended to be offended. “You can’t just pass me around like a sampler platter.” I dipped my head. “Damn, girl.”

  Humor was my go-to tension breaker. Not saying my humor is good but it usually changes the subject.

  “You know what I mean,” Olivia teased, pushing my shoulder playfully, finally releasing my hand. It wasn’t beyond our memories that we’d spent the past two days avoiding everyone after coming back from our initial flight from Ben.

  Now, I had Skyler and Clint laughing at least. Sarah wasn’t as amused but she no longer had that attack dog look to her face. To me, it was a job well done between the two of us. We made a good team even accidentally.

  “Fine. I’m everyone’s friend, bitch.” I nodded and gestured toward Olivia’s book. “Watcha readin’?”

  My hope was that everyone else would get bored and go to lunch. My stomach was telling me that I should go myself but I wasn’t going to listen.

  “Oh,” she blushed and rolled her eyes. “It’s stupid but I love it. Definitely romantic, like you said,” she looked over at Skylar probably just to be nice. “Murakami is evil. He could write a breakfast menu and I’d obsess over it.”

  “Ahh, you’ll have to tell me all about it tonight.” I wasn’t much of a reader. I enjoyed some books but it wasn’t something I would do if I had spare time. Mostly, I read plays. I tried to make sure I didn’t have any free time so it just never crossed my mind to pick up a book. Maybe I should start.

  “You want to go to lunch with us?” I arranged my features into a human assimilation of a puppy.

  “Only if you’ll have me,” she said, looking around at the others. “I wouldn’t want to break up a party. I know it’s not fun to have to explain everything twice.”

  “That’s silly. You should come.” Skyler was smiling as she spoke. Clint nodded in agreement. It seemed that Olivia at least had two
potential fans. Sarah tried to look indifferent. Olivia had bested her in verbal combat. Her most favorite form of battle.

  “You’re coming, that’s the end.” I jumped up, pulling at her hand that was still in mine. “Let’s go princess.”

  “Who you callin’ princess?” She warned, her eyebrows lifting. Despite it all she threw everything quickly into her bag and let me lead her away behind the pack.

  At least I found a new term of endearment for her. This whole possible disaster was worth seeing the look on her face when I called her Princess. In my mind it fit. She had manners and grace. She was a teenage country club socialite with annoying bullshit. I was like the lowly tennis instructor. It sounded bad but it kind of worked in my head.

  We were balanced.

  The dining room was full of people. Apparently, they were hosting some kind of convention in the lodge and there were a slew of middle age professional types dotting the tables around the restaurant.

  We got seated pretty fast though. I took a chair, saving the one at the end of the table for Olivia. I didn’t want her to have to sit next to anyone for some reason. I felt like I was protecting her in some way. Even if I didn’t have to, I wanted to.

  The server came over and took our drink orders, leaving afterwards to help someone else who was motioning to her.

  “So, I haven’t really seen you around school much. How is that even possible?” Clint slung his arm around the back of Sarah’s chair and pinned Olivia down with his gaze.

  “Hmmm... Interesting. We have a class together, you know that right?”

  “No way,” he said. “I don’t remember you in my class. I would have noticed. What class?”

  “Photography,” she said. “I ditch it often. I’ve already taken it actually. I just use the dark room for Yearbook. Two birds, one stone. I’ve noticed you though.”

  “Oh yeah! I think I’ve seen you in there. Mrs. George is cool. I just thought you were the aid or something.”

  Our chairs were so close that I could feel her heat beside me. I reached up to adjust my beanie, tugging my hair back a little but when I went to put my hand back down I slipped it under the table, finding hers.

  “Technically, I’m Mr. Bradford’s aid…” I felt her squeeze my hand beneath the table. I didn’t exactly know that until now. They must have been even closer than I thought. The thought made me frown. She would have told me if he had ever tried anything but that didn’t mean he didn’t think about it. He probably did. Who’s to say he didn’t think about us both at the same time?

  “Oh, I like him,” Clint said, rubbing salt in the wound.

  “He can be cool sometimes,” Skylar said, surprising me.

  “Yeah, well, he’s been a real dick lately,” Olivia said, without thinking. I felt her hand slide down onto my leg and stay there.

  Her words dripped contempt. I knew Sarah would be all over that. She had a thing for him last year like a lot of other girls. I never thought much of him until he started to talk to me. I still searched for what I saw in him but all I found was a void I had been trying to fill.

  “What do you mean?” Sarah leaned over the table, her chin propped on her hand.

  “I’m not going to talk about it,” Olivia said determined. “Gossip is fucked up. Especially if it’s true.” She sounded so cold all of a sudden. She was over Sarah’s bullshit and there was no doubt Olivia would always win, no matter the fight, there was just something about her.

  There must be something wrong with me because as soon as Olivia shut Sarah down I was kind of turned on. I never knew I liked that but in her, it was deadly. I let go of her hand as the server came back with our drinks, setting them down.

  With one hand I pulled my water over in front of me and with the other I started to draw pointed circles on Olivia’s thigh. Every time my finger completed a circuit I started another that was bigger than the last. I sipped on my water, pretending to pay attention to Skylar who was telling a story about her little sister running into Mr. Bradford right outside the girl’s bathroom one day.

  Olivia leaned into me, her lips close to my ear. “Why are we here again?” She asked nervously. But then she decided to add. “You’re killing me, by the way,” and I felt her hand meet mine. She’d stopped me in my circles. Apparently she couldn't take it when I secretly touched.

  She couldn’t know how much that would just make me want to do more. I leaned back so she could hear me. “We’re here because I couldn’t get rid of them. And maybe you should have thought of that before you were all hot with the shade earlier.”

  I tugged my hand away and rested it on her knee, glad that I’d put her in the corner. No one could possibly see what I was doing. Starting light but increasing in pressure, I drew my nails up her thigh and then splayed my fingers out where my hand had been earlier.

  She made a small noise and leaned in to whisper at me again. “Please stop,” she begged. “I will scream. I want you too much. I can’t control myself, Avery.”

  I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth, feeling her reaction all the way down my body. “But I thought you were all about control.” I knew exactly what I was doing to her. I’d played like this before with other people but this was something more. Better. There was an entire new level to this interaction.

  She leaned in and let out a breath right into my ear. “Don’t test me,” she threatened. “I will touch you. I will touch you right here. Is that really what you want?”

  “Maybe,” I whispered back.

  For now the others were occupied with looking through the menu, talking about what was on it. I wanted to play this game. Even if I’d lose to her I’d win. If she hadn’t worn those pants, those boots, if she hadn’t been her, I could have resisted.

  “You don’t scare me,” I mouthed near her ear.

  But then I felt her hand grip hard on the inside of my knee and slowly rub in toward my center without any sign that it would slow. “I fucking warned you,” she said almost peacefully, her nails dragging and making an audible sound.

  “Oh, shit!” She said loudly, even surprising me. I was so ready for her to punish me. God she was such a tease. “I was supposed to call my Dad! Avery, let me out,” she pushed. “He’s gonna kill me.”

  I stood up, pushing my chair back. She saved me from really embarrassing myself by covering the noise I made when she spoke. “Oh yeah, I forgot to remind you.” I looked around the table, trying to be chill. “I’m not really that hungry now. I think I’m just going to go with you.”

  Olivia grabbed her stuff and I followed, knowing that my excuse was so not going to fool the few people at school I actually called friends.

  “Yeah, they’re definitely into each other.” I heard Skyler say, defeated. “You owe me twenty.”

  I caught Clint handing something resembling money to her. “What the fuck,” I muttered. When I turned back around, Olivia had made it all the way to the doorway.

  I booked it to catch up, wondering what she was thinking. There was a very purposeful spring to her walk and she looked serious. I didn’t know if I was in trouble or if she was just that turned on. I guess I’d find out when we got to the elevator.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Olivia

  I don’t know what the hell she was thinking. Why the hell would she bring her friends to come meet me if she was just going to corrupt the whole scene and make it IMPOSSIBLE for me to act normal?!

  I’d been doing so well! I even got Sarah in a corner. I could’ve really found out a few things. And Skylar was interesting, she really was.

  But now it’s done. No chance for civility. No turning back.

  They know now. They have to know. They said as much. I heard them.

  You can’t just whisper into someone’s ear without other people seeing you and knowing exactly what your intentions are. That’s just not a real thing you can do. At least, I’ve never seen it.

  One of us broke. Her or me. Maybe both. There was no turning back now. She’
d done this to us. But I guess it was my own damn fault. I did tell her that everything but kissing was free reign. In a way it’s like I was hoping for this. But none of that could change the actuality of the thing. I didn't know what my parents would do. Would they even care? They’re so privileged. Why would they?

  I booked it to the elevator. I wasn’t about to just stay there while she turned our hiding into a public show. I wasn’t really mad about that, I was just mad at the front she was putting on. She didn’t challenge them at all. She just let me do it...

  And why the hell did Sarah have to ask me about Avery? Did Avery really not talk to her all morning? What did they talk about? Fucking Freestyle times and how much fun it is to be mean to each other?!

  That wasn’t how friends acted. Friends don’t just shit on you and think the worst. That drove me up the wall. It took all I had just to be fucking nice!

  Of all the things I did not expect, I did not expect Avery’s friends to be mean to her or mad…

  I fell into the elevator, pressing the button quickly. I just wanted to go.

  Surprising me, Avery fell in too.

  The doors closed tight.

  “What the hell was that?!” I asked, my body falling into hers and pressing her against the wall.

  She turned our bodies and forced herself on me, kissing me needily.

  I instantly weakened and smiled. There was no contest for that. Every time she kissed me I may as well just hold my wrists up and ask her to cuff me. All it took was the knowledge of want and I became her willing slave. Nevertheless, there were no cuffs, I still had the sides of her jacket in my hands and I tried to resist for at least the time being.

  “What was what?” She could barely contain her grin.

  “Don’t you fucking dare,” I said, pushing her off of me and leaving her to rest ALONE on the wall.

  There was no way I was going to give her a cookie after that. Not without her begging me to.