by Alexa Riley
“Yeah, someone coming to get it?” I nod and he tucks the keys away. “I’ll make sure it’s taken care of.”
“Thanks, man.”
I put Gemma in the truck and her eyes are barely open and she flops over onto the console. I send a quick text to Mitch letting him know where Gemma’s car is, and he says he and Roxy will take care of it.
I get in the driver's seat and the sound of me closing my door has Gemma perking up.
“Hey, who the hell are you?” She squints her already half closed eyes at me and points a finger in my face. “I’m not supposed to ride with strangers. That’s the rules.” She drags out the last word as she wobbles in her seat.
“Just tell me when you need to puke.” I know it’s going to happen at some point, I’d just rather it be after we get out of the truck.
“You know tequila gets a bad rap. It’s pretty great.”
“I’m guessing this is your first time,” I say and fight a smile.
“I’ve going to have a lot of firsts tonight.”
My smile drops as I stare over at her.
“Ronnie was nice to me. He would have worked.”
“Worked for what?” My jaw is clenched so tight I feel it pop.
“Bow-chicka-bow-wow,” she sing-songs, and I want to punch my fist through the windshield.
“No” is all I can manage to get past the lump in my throat.
“No? You’re not my father, Bronx.” She says my name like it tastes bad and I fucking hate it.
“I know that, but do you think that guy was who he would have wanted for you?” I grip the steering wheel tighter and try to control my anger. She’s had too much to drink and she doesn’t know what she’s saying.
“I know that if I don’t get out of this damn town I’ll never find out. Because apparently everyone here has been warned to stay away from me. Care to explain that?” When I don’t answer she lets out a humorless laugh. “Oh, that’s right, we don’t tell Gemma shit. Just keep ignoring her and being an asshole and making sure she doesn't have fun.”
“Is that what you were doing tonight? Was that fun for you, Gemma? Because if so, I don’t know you at all.”
She’s silent as I make the turn to her dad's garage and her apartment above it.
I sigh because I know deep down she’s right. I’ve made sure everyone has stayed away from her but I didn’t think about the consequences of it. She lost so much when her dad passed; we all did. I just know she’s the one thing in the world that is good and I wanted to protect that for him, and selfishly for myself.
I pull up at the garage and park. I turn to talk to her and just as I open my mouth she’s got the door open and is bolting up to her apartment.
“Shit.” I grab the door handle and I’m about to go after her when I see blue lights in my rearview mirror. I curse again as the cop gets out and comes up behind me.
“Good evening,” the officer says next to my window. I don’t recognize him and his uniform is from the next county over. “We got an assault reported down at Shakers tonight with the suspect leaving in this exact vehicle.” There’s a long pause as we stare at one another and he tilts his head to the side like Chunky did earlier tonight. “You wouldn’t happen to know anything about it, would you?”
Tonight was not supposed to go like this. None of this is turning out like I wanted it to. I should have been nicer to her at the cookout and long before that too. But being an asshole is kinda my thing, so this is probably deserved. I sigh as the cop calls in my plate and I worry about Gemma and if she’s okay.
I should feel better knowing I got her out of that bar, but I just feel pissed that I’m not with her right now. And I have a feeling this is about to be a long night.
Chapter Five
Gemma
When I open my eyes I see a giant glass of water and two pills sitting next to it. I down them both before falling right back to sleep. I have no idea how they got there, but I’m oh so thankful for them. It’s much later when I wake up again and there’s a banging on my door.
“Rise and shine!” Roxy shouts before the door flies open. I’m surprised she knocked at all.
I sit up, feeling so much better than I did the first time, but I don’t even know what time it is.
“It’s four in the afternoon.” Roxy answers my unspoken question. My eyes go wide. I’m happy I didn't have anything to do this weekend. She shuts my door behind her and brings in a bag of food.
“Oh God,” I groan as flashes of the night before come back to me.
“I can’t believe you went and got drunk for the first time without me.” Roxy drops the bag of food down on my small dining room table and narrows her eyes at me, trying to look pissed.
“I’m never—”
She cuts me off. “Oh yeah, you’re doing that again. Maybe not tonight or even this month, but we’re doing it.”
I get out of bed, not wanting to fight with her about going out for drinks. I don't ever want to think about drinking again. If she felt what I did the first time I woke up, she’d understand.
“I have to pee,” is my only response as I walk past her to my small bathroom.
“This is why you take a friend with you when you go out. They make sure you don’t drink too much.”
I think over her words as I do my business, not so sure if I believe her. I think we would get ourselves into more trouble together, but who knows. Mitch would likely shadow us and keep us out of trouble. My heart gives that stupid pang of longing. Not for Mitch but for someone to take care of me like that.
I come out of the bathroom a moment later. “I danced on the bar,” I mutter as another thought from the night before comes flooding back.
“I can see that.” Roxy opens the bag and pulls out a burger, placing it in front of me.
I guess I’m not so shy, but I just never thought about dancing on a bar before. Then someone whispered in my ear that I should, and up I went. I’m sure the shots helped.
My eyes widen for a second. “I was in a dress!” Could people see up it?
Roxy laughs and shakes her head before eating a fry. I look down to see I’m now only in an oversized shirt. One I got when Bronx opened his garage and they were handing them out. I don’t remember going from the dress to this, but I see my dress and wedges in a pile on the floor.
“Then I fell off the bar.”
Roxy snorts. “Now that’s something I’d do.” She’s like a baby deer when she wears heels. I could wear them all day every day and not miss a beat.
“Bronx caught me,” I remember in the moment, not shocked that he was there. “I think he came looking for me.” Or he was hanging out at the bar and ran into me? I don’t know why but I don’t see Bronx as a man who hangs around bars. But what do I know? And how well do I really know him anymore?
The space he put between us is so wide I’m not sure I do. He said the same thing about me last night. I’m the girl stuck on a guy. I’ve become that girl. I keep telling myself to move past this, but I don’t.
“He’s the one who told me to come check on you.” Roxy pushes the greasy burger towards me. “Eat.” I know I should, but I don’t know if my stomach is twisting from the tequila or from the memories of the night before. “I came and left the water this morning.”
Well, that settles that. I’m a little disappointed it wasn't Bronx. Why hadn’t he left the water? At least he called Roxy to check on me. I ran from his truck as fast as I could. I wanted him to chase me, but again it was silly to have thoughts of him wanting to chase me. It’s clear I’m never going to be out of this loop of wanting him. Something has to change and I know that something is me. I need to leave. It doesn't have to be forever, but for now. At least until I can get myself to move on from him and start a new chapter for myself.
“That was sweet of him,” I admit.
He cared enough to send someone to check on me, likely for my dad more than anything, which is what Bronx has been doing all along. I need to stop being a br
at. That’s the reason he’s still doing it. I can’t make the man fall in love with me and I should respect that he’s trying to do something good by my dad. They were close and I need to grow up and let this go. Time isn't working, but maybe some more space would. Bronx shouldn’t have to worry over me because I’m not his to worry about.
“Mitch said he flipped.” Roxy eyebrows rise all the way up. “Like really flipped when he heard you were on a date.”
I knew I couldn’t go home after I left the barbecue and I think my rebellion got the best of me when I picked the hole in the wall bar.
“I was lucky he came looking for me.” I admit that too.
I was stupid and reckless and went about things the wrong way. If I want to go out and have a good time, I need to make sure I’m safe and not let some random guy buy me shots. Still, it felt nice to have a man give me attention. I know how pathetic that sounds in my head.
“Because he’s in love with you,” Roxy says smugly.
“Let it go,” I tell her for the millionth time.
“He is.” She throws her French fry down. “He tells people they can’t date you, gets all pissy when he thinks you have a date, and then punches a guy over you.”
My mouth falls open. How has that not come back to me yet? He punched that man buying me the shots? The guy had it coming when I recall his comments. Then I recall mine in the car. I told Bronx I was going to sleep with that guy. It was a lie, but I was trying to needle him and see if he’d get mad about me sleeping with someone. I thought he was jealous for a moment but I think that was my stupid drunk brain imagining things.
“He called Mitch to bail him out of jail, but before he even told him he got arrested, he was making sure Mitch had me checking on you. I mean come on. The man is in love with you.” Everything she says is white noise after I hear “arrested.”
I stand up from my chair, almost knocking it over. “Arrested?”
“Well, you can’t just punch people.” She shrugs like it’s no big deal Bronx got arrested. Guilt hits me hard and I close my eyes. I got him arrested. All he was trying to do was look after me. I’m an adult. I know he feels he needs to take care of me because of my dad, but not like this.
“Where is he?” I ask. I need to tell him I’m sorry. Then I need to get the hell out of here. I’m not only messing with my life, I’m messing with his too. Bronx is a minor celebrity. I can’t imagine this will be good for his reputation. I’m pretty sure he even has an agent or something.
“Probably back from the car show. Mitch got him out early this morning.” That’s right, it’s Saturday. There’s always a car show on Saturday and Bronx wouldn’t have missed it even if he’d been in jail all night. The man is a workaholic.
I turn and go to the bathroom. I brush my hair and teeth and get myself together.
“You should eat,” Roxy says, taking a bite from the cheeseburger she brought me. I have no idea where she puts all the food she eats.
I grab a pair of sweatpants and slide them on under my shirt. I should try and make myself look better, but this is an apology and likely a goodbye too. I’m not going for seduction. I’m going to end this, not only for myself but for Bronx. He’s been smart about putting space between us but we need more. My heart aches thinking about it. It’s been aching since the first time he told me no. It kept aching as he silently told me no over and over every day since then.
I was too consumed in the grief of my dad at first to feel that ache, but it’s always been there. As I slowly started to heal from losing my dad, I could see I wasn't healing the pain of not having Bronx.
“I have to go apologize,” I tell Roxy as I pull on some sneakers I find in the back of my closet.
“Why? If he got his head out of his ass he wouldn't have gone to jail. You would have been dancing for him and not a bunch of horny bastards.”
“Roxy. I’m telling you that man sees me like a little sister.”
She rolls her eyes. “No, he sees me like a little sister.” She drops the burger. “Mitch’s are better.”
“You coming?” I ask as I go to my front door. I’m guessing Mitch is with Bronx if they’re at a car show today.
She follows me out the door and down the stairs. When we get outside I pause to see Bronx’s shop is filled with cars.
“What’s going on?” I ask as we cross the street together.
“Looks like everyone came here after the show?” Roxy suggests. That would be my guess too. I’ve never seen Bronx do that before. He spends most of his Saturday nights in his shop alone working. I really shouldn't know that, but it’s next door and I notice everything. This is different. Before things changed between us and when Dad was still alive I’d spend those Saturday nights helping him with whatever project he was working on.
When we enter the front of the shop there’s a party in full swing. It looks like the whole freaking car show came back here. I recognize most of the people and my stomach does a small clench at the sight of girls running around in bikinis. That’s normal for a car show, but this is the shop. I look around for Bronx because I’m going to say my I’m sorry and get the hell out of here.
“Where’s Bronx?” I ask Roxy, who’s looking around too. We both spot Mitch standing outside of Bronx’s office and we walk in that direction.
“Where’s Bronx?” Roxy parrots my question to Mitch and his eyes dart between Roxy and me. I can tell he’s thinking about not telling us. What the hell?
“In his office.” He nods to the closed door.
“I want to talk to him.” I try and step around Mitch, but he shifts, blocking my path.
“Now's not a good time.”
My stomach drops. Why is Bronx’s office door closed? In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen it closed.
“Why?” Roxy beats me to the question.
“He’s busy.” Mitch doesn't back down.
I hear a growl come from Bronx’s office and the sudden urge to vomit hits me hard. I try and blame it on the liquor, but I know that’s not it. I turn without saying a word and leave. The I’m sorry I wanted to give is lost in the pain I feel inside.
I can’t do this.
Roxy calls after me, but I shake my head no as I keep on walking because I want to be alone. She tries to grab me and I yank my arm free.
“I’m going to fucking kill him,” she says and I’ve never see her so mad before.
All I feel is pain. There’s no anger and I wish there was. Last night I was pissed off, but this is hurt and loss. I know the feeling too damn well.
“Roxy, please.” My face must say it all because her eyes are soft and she backs down, letting me go.
I make my way back towards my place alone. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this alone before. I think a part of me thought I’d always have a part of Bronx. But now I know for sure he isn't mine. Not even a little.
Chapter Six
Bronx
“Fuck,” I grunt as I try to hold still.
“I’m almost there,” Stacy says softly, and I close my eyes.
I try to take my mind off what’s happening but it’s no use. Everywhere inside me is pain, so why not feel that on the outside as well?
“We’ve been at this for years, are you ever going to be done with me?” Stacy pauses and I let out a deep breath.
“I told you earlier this is the last time.” I hear a small laugh, but it’s not a lie; this time I mean it.
“The next time you text me in the middle of the night, I’ll remind you of that.”
I hear talking on the other side of the door and I look up.
“Don’t worry. I locked it.” Stacy confirms my unspoken question and I nod.
“How much longer?” I ask, ready to put my clothes back on.
There’s a long pause and then the pain is gone. “You’re all set.”
My feet are a little unsteady as I stand up and stretch. The muscles in my back ache but in a good way. Some people might not consider getting tattooed to be therapeu
tic, but in a weird way it helps me get through some shit in my head.
“One of these days you’re going to run out of skin,” he says as he packs up his tools.
“Nah, I’ll just put on some weight and make more.” I slap my hand across my belly and he shakes his head.
“You’ll just stretch out all my amazing artwork.” He takes off his gloves and tosses them in the trash. “Nadia told me you got arrested last night.”
I roll my eyes as I put my shirt back on. “Good news travels fast. Your girl still working dispatch at the station?”
“Yeah, she came home last night and said I’d probably be getting a call from you.”
“Sorry to be so predictable.”
“You know I don’t mind the work, but I just want to be doing it for the right reasons.” He nods to my back and then looks at me. “You ever going to show her?”
I shrug as I pull some cash out of my wallet and hand it over. “Thanks, Stacy.”
“I’ll take that as I should mind my own business.” He takes the money from me and I nod. “We’ll be at the cookout next week if I don’t see you before.”
“Yeah, see you,” I say, and he opens the door and walks out.
I sit down in the chair again, feeling somewhat calmer than I did this morning. I can hear a party going on in the shop and I run a hand down my face. I don’t know why I agreed for people to come back here. There were a few guys at the show that wanted to film my shop for a YouTube channel and my agent said it would be good for me.
I’m going to fire him after everyone leaves. I’m sick and tired of this showboating shit. I just want everything to calm down for five seconds so I can figure out what to do. The only thing that’s ever settled me is being next to Gemma. But after last night I’m lost.
I built all of this for her, and it means nothing without her. I added on to the shop last year just as a surprise for her, not to mention what I’ve got hidden in the back. There’s so much I’ve been planning for and suddenly it feels like it’s slipping through my fingers.
