Far Country

by Malone, Karen

  Richard’s voice stopped him, coldly curious. “I don’t get it, Steven. We were almost family. For six years our daughter lay in a coma. Six years! And we hear nothing from you. Why are you bothering to speak to us now that she is dead?”

  Steve turned around, staring at Mr. Bolton. “I did try!” Steve replied in confusion. “I came by the house, I called, and it was always the same. You wanted nothing to do with me!”

  Richard eyed him with distaste. “Don’t lie to us, Steven! There were no calls. And even after Lee Ann and I sent David over to your house, you refused to come over and talk to us. After awhile, how were we supposed to feel about you?”

  Steve’s felt a strange buzzing fill his head. Was he crazy? All these years he had lived with the devastating memories of the phone going dead at the sound of his voice, and that last day, David, eyes cold and empty, slowly shutting the door as if they were strangers. How could Richard stand there and act like none of that had ever happened?

  Steve slowly shook his head. “No sir. David never came to my house.” Steve looked from one doubting face to the other. How could they ever believe he would abandon Sarah?

  “I called!” He repeated. “They were only letting family in to see Sarah. I called you for permission, and you – someone – hung up on me every time I called. My mother called, even Pastor Graham tried to come to the house. Every time we were either sent away, or someone hung up the phone.”

  “Who sent you away?” Lee Ann demanded.

  Steve stared at her. “David,” he said simply.

  Lee Ann snorted. “I don’t believe it!” She said angrily, pointing at the picture. “You two were like brothers! You were inseparable! Why would he send you away? Especially when he knew we needed to talk with you! He was just as hurt as we were when you left town – left Sarah! – without a word!”

  Steve was so upset his voice shook. “I. Never. Left. Sarah. Some part of me always believed she would wake up.” They still looked at him as if he were making it all up. “You can check the logs at the care facility, if you like,” he said bitterly. “There was a standing order to throw me out every year. I know because I tried to see her. Every year.” He stared up at the ceiling and took a couple of deep breaths to steady himself. “The last day before I left I came to your house and pounded on the door. David answered it. I asked to see you both. I begged him to help me convince you to let me go to see Sarah. He never said a word! He just stared at me like I was a maggot and shut the door in my face!”

  “Grampy, I getting hungry,” Gracie’s small scared voice broke through the anger and hurt that filled the small office. Suddenly three sets of eyes focused on the little girl with the thick black hair and huge gray eyes.

  Richard cleared his throat uncomfortably, glancing from Steve to Gracie. Lee Ann’s face also took on a furtive look as she suddenly became uncomfortably aware of Gracie’s presence.

  “Of course, dear,” she told her granddaughter gently, stoking the hair that was so like Sarah’s. “I’m sorry if we scared you, Gracie.” She looked at her husband. Richard?”

  “Yeah, I know.” He looked at Steve apologetically. “We need to get going, and it’s getting late for Gracie, but I don’t think any of us are done with this discussion yet. Something’s not adding up. When we get back to town, will you come to our house? I think it’s important that we finally understand what happened.”

  Steve took a shaky breath and nodded. “I’ve wanted nothing else for six years,” he said sincerely.

  And then, they were gone. Steve stared in wonder after the min-van as it disappeared around the corner.

  “Lord,” he asked softly. “What just happened here?”

  Ch 24

  Better Late Than Never

  Richard Bolton led Steve, Pastor Graham, and Laura Williams down the short hall, past the family room where he had spent so much of his childhood, and into the formal dining room.

  Steve had the strangest sensation that he was stepping back in time. Little had changed in the Bolton’s house since the last time he had walked down this hall. The walls were still painted the same muted green, the same pictures hung on the walls, even the dining room furniture and table cloth looked as they had nearly six years ago. Except, here and there were toys and children’s books, reminders that Gracie Bolton, not Sarah and David, now lived here. Tonight, however, Gracie was spending the night with a friend, so the grownups in her life could talk freely.

  As Richard nodded them toward the seats around the table, Lee Ann appeared from the kitchen, looking nervous, but carrying a couple of plates of cookies, which she set at either end of the table. “Can I get anybody some drinks?” She asked, stepping back from the table, a tight smile on her lips. Steve knew how nervous she was by the way her Georgian drawl became more pronounced. Lee Ann Bolton was a daughter of the Deep South, who considered North Carolina as practically Yankee territory.

  “Let me help you, Lee Ann,” Mrs. Williams said gently, also picking up on her former friend’s deepening drawl. Lee Ann nodded stiffly and together the two women carried in glasses and a pitcher of iced tea.

  Ironically, Steve realized he had automatically taken the same chair that had been considered ‘his’ since second grade. His mother and Pastor Graham sat on either side of him, and across the table as if on the far side of a great chasm, sat Mr. and Mrs. Bolton, still looking angry and suspicious, but determined to have the truth at last.

  Pastor Graham cleared his throat and smiled calmly at the tense faces around the table. “I can see that everyone is a little tense, but I think we have all waited a long time for this meeting. If no one objects, since I came into this story as an outside observer, I think it would be beneficial if I start with my recollections, and then you can all add to them as we go along. Is that agreeable?”

  Everyone murmured their assent, so Pastor Graham began the story. “As I said, I didn’t come into this story until the night of the accident, when one of the paramedics at the scene who attended my church called me, and said she had a feeling that I needed to be there, at least for the driver of the car. So, I came to the hospital and got there just before the ambulance arrived.”

  Pastor Graham sighed. “I remember seeing you, the parents, all together in the trauma waiting room. David was with you, too. You were all terrified, but you were all waiting together. The paramedics brought Steve in first. He was in shock but still awake. I remember that he was crying, and saying, “I think I killed her.”

  Lee Ann gave a small cry as the memories surfaced sharply, and Richard took her hand reassuringly, his own face somber and drawn.

  “They brought Sarah in next, and I nearly believed Steve’s words. She was so pale and the – damage - was undeniable. The passenger side of the car had taken the brunt of the impact.” Pastor Graham shook his head sadly. “Of course, they rushed the both of them off to surgery, and you were left in the trauma waiting room. I don’t know if you remember, but I prayed with all of you, even though you made it pretty clear that you weren’t practicing Christians. That night it didn’t seem to matter. We stood in a huddle and prayed and hugged, and you all cried with each other. Except for David. He stood alone and refused to be comforted by me or by any one of you.”

  “Sarah was his twin,” Lee Ann said defensively as she dabbed at her eyes. “He was devastated by what was happening.”

  Reverend Graham nodded, keeping his face neutral. “Yes, he was,” he agreed.

  “Eventually,” Robert Graham continued, “Steve’s internal injuries and broken bones were repaired, and Sarah was stabilized. At that point, I believe you all went to your children’s rooms, and that may have been the last time that the two families were ever together, until tonight.” He looked around the table and saw that he was right. He nodded and continued.

  “Over the first few days, I visited both rooms, but eventually, things changed. Steve was discharged after about ten days. By then, it was clear that Sarah would never get better. Lee Ann had collaps
ed, and was at home and under sedation.” Pastor Graham turned his gaze on Richard Bolton.

  “Richard, I believe that you were trying to deal with your daughter’s prognosis, and your wife’s needs, and also, I remember that you had to go back to work after only a few days. You were stretched pretty thin yourself. When I tried to call at your house, I, too, was sent away each time. Eventually, I left my card with David, who seemed to have been left to deal with visitors.”

  Richard nodded and looked at his wife. “We were both so overwhelmed. I don’t remember too much of those first few days, and as you said, I had no choice but to go back to work by the end of the second week. I guess that David did get stuck with more than he probably should have had to deal with, but I don’t know how we would have gotten through without him.”

  He cleared his throat and looked at the preacher. “You said you knew we weren’t really into the church thing. You weren’t the only preacher who dropped by, which I guess they were trying to be helpful, but we weren’t interested in being preached at. I told David to send them away if he wanted to.”

  Pastor Graham nodded. “And he did. It didn’t take me too long to conclude you had no interest in talking with me, so eventually I focused my time on Steve, who was recovering at home and dealing with a lot of guilt and frustration. We had several counseling sessions over the course of that summer, so I can attest to some things he has told you. One of which is, that he did try to call your house on at least two occasions that I was present for. I also came by the house on his behalf one day, but I suppose that David saw me as only as another preacher. He sent me away and ignored my request to allow Steve to go to see Sarah in the hospital.”

  Richard and Lee Ann looked astonishment at Steve. “I can’t believe that David wouldn’t take your calls,” Lee Ann insisted fervently. “And we were angry with you for not coming to see Sarah! David knew that!”

  Steve shrugged. “I can’t swear that it was David every time I called. Sometimes someone would pick up but they didn’t say anything. Once or twice, I am sure that David was the one who picked up and said hello, but in both cases, as soon as I spoke, the line went dead. As for visiting, I was in a wheel chair for weeks, and couldn’t exactly sneak into her room. I can attest that the nurses took your ‘family members only’ visitation very seriously.”

  Lee Ann looked at Richard Bolton blankly. “I know I was pretty much out of it at first, but I don’t recall a restriction on visitors…?”

  Richard looked just as uncertain. He shook his head, trying to think back. “I don’t remember that it was ever even discussed, really.”

  Laura Williams spoke up at this point. “Ben called your house, too, Richard. Much the same thing happened to him. He was so angry that he told Steve not to bother trying to get up with you any more. Ben said that you knew how much Steve loved all of you, but if blaming Steve and being angry made Sarah’s situation easier, it was your prerogative, and nothing we did was going to change your minds.”

  Richard looked outraged. “How could he think we would do that? Of course we were hurt, and devastated and angry too, but there were things that needed to be said! On both sides! As soon as Lee Ann got strong enough to face the situation, I had David call you. He told us that you wouldn’t take his calls!”

  Laura Williams looked at Lee Ann and Richard with clear eyes. “I promise you that we never received any phone calls. It was as if there was this wall around your house, and we were locked out. That was why we’d asked Pastor Graham to intercede and go to speak with you for us.”

  “And we know how that turned out,” Pastor Graham broke in with a sigh.

  “I think that was our last attempt to talk with you,” Laura said, pensively. “Ben said to wait and see. That maybe you’d reach out once you were over the initial shock and hurt. So we waited. I guess our feelings were hurt, too. Our families had been close all those years. After awhile, though, we just got used to the silence.”

  Steve spoke up. “I did come by the house the day before I left for college. David opened the door, but once he saw me, he closed it again. He never talked to me after the accident. In fact, he never said another word to me until he told me last summer that Sarah was dead.”

  Again Lee Ann looked bewildered. “Why would he drive all the way to Hanging Rock to tell you that?” She wondered aloud.

  Steve glanced at Pastor Graham. “He didn’t know I was there. He came to see Deborah while he was home on emergency leave for the funeral. When he saw me he was – well, the scene got pretty ugly.” Steve finished lamely.

  Richard frowned. “How do you mean ‘ugly’?”

  “David called me a murderer,” Steve said quietly. “He said I murdered Sarah.”

  They sat in stunned silence for awhile as the Bolton’s thought about Steve’s words.

  Again, Lee Ann sighed. “I just don’t understand how David would say those things, Steven. He loved you like a brother. He was happy that you and Sarah were together,” she trailed off helplessly.

  Steve could not keep the bitter tone out of his voice. “Maybe at one time he felt that way, but after the accident, everything changed. I have witnesses to the things he said to me at Hanging Rock. I have every reason to believe that right now, David still hates me and would be quite happy to see me dead.” Steve took a deep breath and forcefully suppressed the image of David’s silhouette looming at the top of Knife Edge, moments before he cut the rope. “The day he told me about Sarah, it took two grown men to keep him from attacking me in a parking lot.”

  Pastor Graham took a sip of his tea, and carefully set down the glass. “I can’t begin to guess the reasons, but from what all of you have said, it seems that David was screening out all attempts for your two families to meet and reconcile.”

  “I think,” Steve said slowly, “I know the reason.” He shrugged slightly, his voice full of sad regret. “I betrayed his trust,” he told them simply. “Sarah was his twin, his other half. He gave her to me to take care of, and I failed him. And he knew that keeping me from her, and from both of you, was the worst punishment I could suffer.” Steve shook his head in wonder. “He was right, too. I was pretty messed up for a lot of years. I’m still trying to get my head straight, even now.”

  Steve looked around the table, and felt as if the time had come to fit the last piece of the puzzle together. “I think there was also one other reason that David wanted to keep me away from Sarah those first months after the accident.” He looked from Lee Ann to Richard, searching their faces. “Something that he didn’t want me to find out about - that a bed sheet wouldn’t be able to cover up for very long. On top of all the other bad news, it would have thrown you all for a loop. Especially David.”

  Lee Ann and Richard looked at each other uneasily for a long moment. Neither one answered Steve.

  “Gracie is not your niece’s daughter, is she?” Steve pressed them quietly. Beside him, Laura Williams clutched her son’s arm warningly. She started to speak, but Steve silenced her with an impatient wave of his hand.

  The silence stretched until Richard suddenly exploded, the bitterness that had been pent up for so long pouring out in a flood of anger and sadness. “In one day, I watched my Sarah graduate from high school, beautiful and smart, with so much to look forward to! Then at midnight I’m standing in the hospital. All that was left of my daughter was this – this empty broken shell!” He put his head in his hands and a heartbreakingly sad look of loss filled his eyes through the tears when he finally raised his head. “She was so silent” he whispered. “Sarah was never silent. I think I knew then that she was never coming back to us….” He shook his head. “The next morning, after the surgery, the doctor told us that she was severely brain damaged, and most likely, she would never come out of the coma. Oh, and one other thing, Mr. and Mrs. Bolton, were you aware that the baby is due in January or February?”

  Richard gave a mirthless bark of a laugh and glared at Steve. “Damned right we were angry with you! We thought you
were avoiding us…and then, you just took off for college and left us to deal with the mess you had made.” He slumped back in the chair and glared reproachfully at Steve.

  “I never knew about the baby,” he told them simply. “Sarah and I had known each other so long that we had decided to wait to until we were married, to make it more special, but the night of the cast party for 'Oklahoma!' - we slipped up. It was just the one time, and it never occurred to me that she might have been pregnant. I don’t think she could have even known yet.”

  He gave Richard a mutinous look. “As sorry as I am about how you found out about her, please don’t ask me to be sorry that Gracie was born.”

  Richard eyed Steve appraisingly, and then gave him a bittersweet smile of understanding. “No,” he agreed at last, “I don’t suppose you can be. There’s a lot of her mother in her.”

  He sat back up to the table, staring at the melting ice in his iced tea glass. “Tell the truth, once the shock wore off, neither were we, really. Gracie gave us something to hold on to. Raising her has been almost like raising Sarah all over again.”

  Timidly Lee Ann reached for Richard’s hand again, and held it tightly in her own. Her body seemed braced for a blow and her voice was brittle. “Now that you know about her, Steven, what are you going to do?”

  Steve blinked in confusion. “Do?”

  “Will you try to take her away from us?” Steve heard the fear and also the challenge. Reverend Graham had been right. They would not give up their granddaughter without a fight. Everyone stared at Steve. The whole table seemed to be holding its breath.