Chasing Rabbits

by ERIN BEDFORD

  The whispers turned to screams in my head, causing me to wince. They didn’t like being told what to do. Not one bit.

  In that moment, they decided to give up their façade. The darkness in the mirror didn’t so much as creep back into the glass as appear. It had only pretended to let the prince control it, so they could get me closer. Now that they had their teeth in me they weren’t going to let me go.

  They whispered how good I tasted. They hadn’t tasted someone so powerful, someone so old, in centuries. They were tired of barely getting by on the dreams of their fellow Fae. They wanted fresh dreams. Human dreams. My dreams.

  I didn’t have the energy to fight them. I’d been awake too long. Too many life-changing events had happened. I was exhausted both physically and mentally. I only wanted to sleep and they jumped on that want, pressed their magic into it, causing my eyes to droop.

  I couldn’t stop it. Even as the Fae prince shook me, even as they yelled in my ears to fight it. Their voices were barely a hum above the whispers in my mind urging me into the darkness.

  Their whispers were a menacing lullaby that promised everything and nothing at all. As the edges of my vision darkened, my hand slipped through the mirror and I tumbled face first into the Shadow’s Between.

  17

  The Shadows

  IT WAS COLD. Even as I slept I could feel it down to my bones, an icy breath crept along my skin. If I had been awake I was sure I would find someone hovering over my body. A large looming figure, so dark in my mind’s eye I couldn’t quite comprehend what I was seeing. Its presence, even as I slept, pressed upon me, drinking me in, leaving me frozen and empty inside.

  Its voice, no longer a whisper, burned my ears. Neither male nor female, but both at once. “We don’t know how you got in. The Fae queens claimed to have closed off the human world from the Underground, but here you are.” It seemed amazed at such a feat. “We have been here, forgotten in the dark for many centuries as they go about their endless lives.”

  I knew my body was asleep, but I tried to ask it with my mind. “What are you?”

  “We are the Fae who have been cast out by the courts. The court of light with its need for perfection and disgust for anyone different would not dare sully themselves with our deaths.” It gave a bitter laugh. “And the UnSeelie court, where even the most gruesome Fae are welcome, wouldn’t even give us sanctuary.”

  It shifted its massive body above me. It was close enough for the hairs on my skin to rise up at the cold. “We’ve been waiting here in the dark, waiting for someone who would help us, feed us and set us free. We never expected our savior to be such a puny human, but you will do.” Their laughter echoed through the blackness.

  “How can I save you? I’m just one person. One human.” I questioned it in my mind. “I can’t imagine I’m enough to sustain all of you?”

  “Ah, but you are not like the others.” As if sensing my confusion, it went on. “You are like us. Of this world, but not. You do not belong to either world and they do not claim you as their own. It is a rarity indeed.”

  “But I’m human, not Fae,” I protested, my fear growing to a substantial size. “I can’t save you. I can’t even save myself.”

  It tsk’d, its many voices coming together as one. “Let there be no lies between us. You are human yes, but more. We were there listening at the mirror’s edge. What’s said is said, no going back now.” I flinched as dark formless fingers tried to caress my face. “Do not fear us, for you will be our Lady and we your people. We can give you everything you desire. Power.”

  An image was thrust into my mind. I was a mighty queen. No, a goddess. My hair burned around me like a fiery crown of glory. I had the world at my finger tips and it quaked at my every whim.

  “Wealth.” They whispered as another image filled my head. I was adorned with jewels of every shape and size, lounging on a bed of furs.

  “Love.” This time, the vision didn’t just fill my mind, but it filled my body with a pulsating need. I could feel the hands of each and every Fae that had been lost in the darkness as they caressed me and touched every inch of my being inside and out. Each touch promised undying love and devotion. My heart would never be empty. My bed would never be cold. I would never lack companionship.

  The last image made me realize something. This wasn’t what I wanted. It’s what they wanted. They had been cast aside, powerless, and unwanted. Yes, they wanted revenge on the courts, but they weren’t evil by nature, only necessity. The shadows were exactly that, shadows of the Fae they once were, but they were still Fae and Fae had rules.

  “A place to belong, as we crave to belong. You will be ours and we will be yours.” Their voices pressed upon my skin, urging me to accept them, to be with them.

  It’s not like I wasn’t tempted. Who didn’t want unlimited power, more money than you know what to do with, and people who would always love you? Even the most holy of men would have been tempted. But there was always a price, and with the Fae, the price may not be something I was willing to pay.

  “You claim you are the Fae forgotten, but faded or not, you’re still Fae.” I could feel their curiosity peak at my words.

  “Yes.” The simple word hissed along my skin.

  “Then you still have to obey the rules.” I made it a statement, not a question.

  The shadows shifted their massive form as displeasure filled their voice. “The Fae magic still holds us captive, but you could fix that. You could be the new law of the world. Of all the worlds.” It tried to change the direction of the conversation back to me, but I wouldn’t be deterred.

  “But for the moment the law still stands.” I was proud the voice in my head didn’t quiver with fear as I neither denied nor accepted their offer. “And that means you have broken that law.”

  Shocked and disgruntled voices rose up around me. “We break no laws, Lady.”

  “Then tell me, when exactly did I give you permission to feed from me? I don’t remember us ever making a deal.” My voice hardened in my accusation, even as my fear fought to suffocate me.

  The voices began to argue. They knew I had not given permission for them to feed off my dreams, and the Fae were all about permission. Evil Fae or not, rules were rules.

  “But you wish to save the Fae pretender, do you not?” The shadows questioned. “We have brought you to her, so it is a fair trade to let us feed from your delectable dreams.” It purred as it tried to placate me, its voices now back in agreement. “The winged Fae could not fulfill your bargain.” They laughed. “She could not bring you through the mirror. She is too tightly bound by the UnSeelie Court.”

  So, she had been lying after all. Or maybe she knew that this would happen. The prince said no Fae in their right mind would try to feed off a human’s dreams so close to the Shadow Realm and Seer didn’t seem the stupid sort. Did she know the shadows would take the bait? That the only way for me to get into the Shadow’s Between was to be dragged there by one of them? Even if she did, the shadows still broke the rules.

  “That all may be true, but the deal was with Seer, not you. You can’t pass off a deal from one Fae to the next.” I was full of shit. I didn’t know if you were allowed to pass them between one another. Hell, I barely knew what was going on half the time in this cockamamie world. I could only hope that I was right and they were in the wrong.

  Their displeasure rolled off them in waves, their voices so loud my eardrums felt as if they would burst. I thought they would strike me dead then and there for daring to question their reasoning, but they didn’t. They made sure that they were not touching me at all as they reveled in their anger. I was thankful for it, because as much pleasure as their caress could give, I’m sure they were much more skilled in pain.

  The shadows’ anger calmed after a few moments. Their voices lowered to a dull drum and their fingerless form reached for me once again. They petted my hair and rubbed my arms as if I were the one who needed calming.

  “You are more worthy
a leader than we thought. To see the logic and injustice of our actions.” They praised me. “We shall make a new deal now, so there will be no questions about it.”

  “But you already stole your payment. A deal can’t be made from stolen goods,” I scolded them.

  “You are here, are you not?” It growled at me, their anger leaking through. “We have already paid for the dreams we’ve taken without permission. A verbal transaction is all that is necessary to make it right.”

  “Rules are rules,” I quoted Seer’s words. “I didn’t ask you to bring me here, and you didn’t ask to feed from my dreams. You bringing me here was all on your own. If I’m to be your salvation. Your lady. Would you expect me to take such crap from a Seelie? Or even an UnSeelie?”

  The looming shadows cried out in protest.

  “Then why would you expect me to accept yours? As I see it, you owe me for the dreams you stole, and I demand equal payment. Only then will I consider being yours.” I nodded to myself since my body was still inoperable.

  They moved amongst themselves, debating my words, and whether they should agree to my terms. They would have to if they wanted me to cooperate. I still wasn’t sure what exactly they wanted from me. I wasn’t anyone’s savior, let alone fit to be queen. All I wanted to do was get the key from Alice and get the hell out of dodge. I planned to sleep until next week, screw my mom and Sunday dinner.

  “Very well.” They came together at once. “We accept your terms. What is it you would have of us?”

  I thought about it for a moment. What did I want? Being able to move would be good.

  I must have thought the words to hard, because they asked, “And that would make us even?”

  “Not hardly.” I scoffed. “Why am I even unconscious anyway?”

  “You were tired, your body needed rest.” Their reasoning made sense, but once again they had done it without asking. Maybe that was why they got kicked out? They had problems with following the rules.

  “Well, I am rested enough. Let me up.” If they had heads, I would have sworn they exchanged glances as if they were not sure they should do as I asked.

  “We admit you are not simply resting. After so many years of being in the dark, of living off the dreams of the headless, we have lost physical form. We are but a mass of energy on the wind. The thing in the dark that you dare not look at for it might look back. Thus, we are impossible to be heard to those who are not listening. We are able to communicate more clearly this way.”

  Their words reminded me of all the dark corners I had encountered in the Underground. The whispers that treaded along the edges of teeth, giggling in the dark at my naiveté as I questioned about wishes. I do remember the pounding on Chess’ willow, so they must have some kind of abilities. They couldn’t be completely powerless.

  “You’re Fae, can’t you use magic? A glamour? Or I don’t know, shapeshift or something?”

  “If we could glamour ourselves would we not have done so to blend in with the other courts?” Their voice rose to a shout, but a few whispered off in the edges. “We could take on the appearance of one of the headless.”

  “We could not do that!” The others argued back but soon changed its tone to question. “Could we?”

  “Yes we could, but it would require a sacrifice. A death to make the magic work.” The mass turned back to me at once in agreement with each other. “Do you wish us to destroy one of the headless?”

  “What? No!” I couldn’t let them kill another Fae just because I wanted to wake up. No matter their crimes. “There has to be another way.”

  They sighed. I could feel their frustration as well as the rage lurking just beneath the surface. They were becoming tired of my demands. The few that I had anyway. I knew they wanted me, no, needed me, but I could tell they were weighing the odds of dealing with me and getting what they wanted. Whatever that was.

  “There is one who may die at any moment, what of them?” They inquired, apparently coming to a unanimous decision that I was worth the effort. A relief really.

  “What do you mean? I thought Fae couldn’t die of natural causes.”

  “We can’t, but they have been here for hundreds of years. A Fae’s dreams can only be fed on for so long before they are nothing more than an empty husk. This one is such a Fae. We would be having pity on them, to end their life now rather than lay dormant, not much more than a lifeless doll.”

  I tried to weigh the pros and cons of their suggestion. I couldn’t imagine living that way. A brain dead vegetable just waiting for death to claim me. Death would be kinder, but there had to be a catch somewhere. Death magic sounded dark and ominous. Evil in every sense of the word. But I didn’t see any other way out of my dream state. I couldn’t lay there forever, and if it would bring someone else peace I could be all right with it.

  “Fine. Do your death magic and let me up,” I demanded before I could change my mind. I waited for them to start some kind of chant or to feel a magical pull, but nothing happened. “Well, are you going to do it or what?”

  “It’s already done.” The voice that spoke was no longer filled with many voices, but with one singular voice. It was light and quirky with a hint of an accent I couldn’t quite place and was decidedly male. Thankfully, it was nothing like the overpowering sound of the massive shadow. “Come, come now, all the fuss to wake up and you won’t even open those pretty eyes of yours.”

  Ignoring the prodding to open my eyes, I flexed my muscles first. An arm. A leg. I wasn’t 100 percent positive it was already done. Shouldn’t death magic take more preparation? At least, some kind of dead language to call the Fae to their grave. Not that I was complaining. I could do with a little less complicated and a lot more straightforwardness.

  When I was sure I was able to move my body, I placed a hand beneath myself and pushed myself upright. I peeked one quaking eye open to just a slit.

  I had expected many things when I opened my eyes. A blinding white room, like the first Between I entered. Or a monstrous dungeon-like setting with chains and maybe even a rack, or at least an iron maiden. I was kind of disappointed when I opened my eyes to a dungeon corridor, much like the one I had escaped in the Seelie Court.

  “Not what you expected, is it?”

  I jumped at the voice next to my ear and spun around, backing away on my hands and knees.

  The man before me held up his hands in defense, a silly lopsided grin on his slender face. Of any of the prisoners to take the shape of they had to pick someone that I would be attracted to. It wasn’t like I didn’t have enough of a problem with the prince and Chess.

  He had dark brown hair that was tousled on the top and short along the sides. The hair ran into sideburns that ended just below his ears, near the dark chocolate brown eyes that crinkled at the sides as he continued to smile at me. Hands in the pants pockets of his black suit, he rocked back and forth in a pair of beaten trainers.

  “What exactly was the guy you are wearing guilty of?” I couldn’t help the small smile that crept up onto my mouth. “Bad fashion sense?”

  “Ah-hah.” He laughed a much more carefree sound than before. “That’s funny.” He held a hand up, turning it back and forth as he examined his new body.

  “I think he was some kind of time wizard. A funny lot they are. Academic hermit types. Always jumping about in time at a whim, never really paying any mind to the chaos they are ensuing in the other worlds. This one was the last of his kind. The Seelie Queen made sure of it when he was caught trying to change the outcome of our birth. Nasty business that was.” His voice was so jolly and full of life it was hard to tell if he was serious or not.

  I inched up from the stone floor, keeping my eyes on the man before me. Was this really the monstrous shadow that had me quaking in my bones just moments ago? It was hard to believe. It also didn’t help that I was a sucker for a guy with great hair, which left me with the overwhelming urge to run my hands through his.

  Why couldn’t they have picked someone less a
ttractive? It was going to be impossible to remember he was the bad guy, but then again, that was probably the point. Lucifer couldn’t have persuaded so many to follow him if he was all terror and gruesome. Being enticing was part of the thrill of evil. Why would the Fae be any different?

  “Now.” He clapped his hands together, rubbing them in anticipation. “What would you have of us, Katherine?”

  I stopped in my half crouch and waited. He knew my name. Something bad was supposed to happen if they found it out, wasn’t it? My life force was supposed to drain away. My will taken from me. But as I crouched there, my knees beginning to ache, nothing happened.

  He chuckled at my stance and shook a finger in my direction. “Now, haven’t you been listening, Katherine?” My eyes met his when he said it again. “You aren’t like the others.”

  I eased up to my full height, what little of it there was, and watched him as a child would a distant relative. Curious, but cautious all the same. Though he had a pretty face, I had to remember what dwelled beneath.

  “So everyone keeps telling me.” I grumbled dusting the invisible dirt off my backside, so I could pretend I had something to do as I assessed him. “So, you know my name, what now?”

  “Well, that’s up to you.” He circled me, his long legs stretching out before him with each step. He was so tall.

  “Up to me?” I frowned at him.

  “I demand equal payment.” My voice rang out of his throat sounding strange and foreign to my ears. He smiled at my startled face, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “Or did you change your mind and letting you up was enough?”

  “I haven’t forgotten our deal. I’m just…” I searched about the corridor for some inspiration, “...not sure what to do next.”

  He moseyed – yes, moseyed – over to me and brought his face close enough to mine that I had to lean back to meet his eyes. “While we are your humble servants, may we make a suggestion?”