B.B.U.S.A. (Buying Back the United States of America)

by Lessil Richards

  “I’m confused. You said you have become a millionaire over the last couple of years thanks to the B.B.U.S.A., and seem to be praising them, yet you just bought two of my firearms and said Tim has been murdered? What went wrong then?”

  “That’s the thing; I’m not completely sure. Tim became paranoid, saying that they were following him around everywhere he went, and once mentioned that they were beginning to strong-arm foreign investors that did not want to sell. I thought he was nuts. Nothing like that was going on with our transactions. I personally made the offers and talked to the sellers, Tim though, had been involved with the agency longer than we had. Apparently, Tim had become involved with the agency back in California and had several transactions going on there at the same time as he was working with us in Idaho.”

  “It all sounds pretty phenomenal to me. I still don’t see where the dark secret lies or why they would want you now?”

  Leo stretched and untied his shoes. He used one foot to pry it off the other and then flinched as he attempted to repeat the movement on the left foot. “Dang. That’s still tender,” he said, then leaned over, carefully unlaced the shoe, and took it off. He pulled a foot stool over by his easy chair and crossed his ankles on it. Doug sailed a pillow at his face. He caught a blur of motion in his peripheral vision and reacted quickly enough to catch it before it hit his face.

  “Not bad,” Doug complimented, “Good to see you still have your reflexes, now, quit playing with your toes and tell me, as Paul Harvey always says, ‘The Rest of The Story!’”

  “Well, Tim started to tell me things like: the organization is not totally legit, and he’s checking these guys out, and they’re not playing by the rules, and he guessed he would have to be the one to blow the cover, etc. I didn’t take him all that seriously. You know how he was with all his great hunting stories. I thought it would all blow over, but then he told me that this organization goes all the way to the Senate and that perhaps it is the greatest cover-up ever, and that soon he would have enough evidence to blow the lid on the organizational founders.

  I thought that he was going nuts, like a midlife crisis or something. Then he mailed me that flash drive. He told me on the phone the night before he died that he had just mailed the flash drive and that he would send me the password by separate mail the next day. He said something about the password being nearly unbreakable. He did mention that it would only make sense to me and Sarah, whatever that meant.”

  “So, did he send the password?”

  “No. He was murdered that night, and the detective that I talked to found no mail or letters at the property; nothing addressed to me anyway.”

  “What makes you think the B.B.U.S.A. is after you now?”

  Leo stood up, walked gingerly to the kitchen, and refilled his cup of cider. “I mailed you the flash drive, then went to the west coast and called Bob. I told him that I was on the west coast on business and was very concerned about Tim’s death and could he please meet with me to discuss my fears. He agreed. I had already made arrangements and plans with Sarah for her and the kids to leave the country just in case things got out of hand. So, as soon as we knew he was out of town, they packed up and left.

  Anyway, I was supposed to meet Bob at this fancy restaurant at that old lighthouse on the coast where I used to live as a boy. While in town for a couple of days, I kept on seeing this one guy all the time. I was not sure if I was having an overly active imagination or if I was really being followed. Tim had complained to me about the same thing weeks earlier. I got to the restaurant early that night and found a place on the second floor that overlooked the parking lot. Bob showed up all right, but…”

  “He wasn’t alone?” Doug interrupted.

  “That’s right. He had three other guys with him. The first one that got out of the cab, I immediately recognized.”

  “Let me guess, the guy you thought was following you?”

  “That’s what I like about you, buddy, you always caught on fast. Yes, the same guy that showed up everywhere I went.”

  “So, who were the other ones?”

  “I didn’t really even look at them; I was trying too hard to think of what I should do. It seemed obvious to me when Bob left them in the foyer, so that I wouldn’t know they were there, that I was in for real trouble. You see, we were supposed to meet up in the restaurant for dinner and to discuss my concerns. I can only assume that we would have had dinner, discussed a few things, then gone down to the entrance in the elevator where I would have been jumped and my body would never have been found.”

  “Wow, are you sure about all of that? The men weren’t just other business associates?”

  “No way. Having been personally followed like that, having Tim complain about the same thing, and of course knowing what eventually happened to him, there is no doubt at all. Buddy, I have too much to live for!”

  Doug was really getting interested. He leaned forward attentively and asked, “So, what did you do?”

  “I waited for Bob to go up the elevator, and then I came down the stairs and tied into the guys in the foyer while I could get the jump on them, then I ran for my life. I tried to join a beach party. I thought I could blend in, circle back and get a lift back to town, but of course it did not work out that way. When it started to thin out, they spotted me and I ran all the way back to town with them chasing after me like a pack of dogs.”

  “No shit?”

  “That’s what happened!”

  “What did you do to them in the lobby?”

  “I nailed the guy that had been following me with my elbow to his jaw as I went by him. He dropped to the ground and never got up again. The other guy started to make a move, so I tried to take out his knee with a kick. I think I missed, never heard a cracking sound, but he will probably be limping for a while. Then I ran out of the foyer and down to the beach.”

  “Wait a minute. I thought you said he brought three guys with him?”

  “He did. I never saw the third guy, but I did see that the first guy that I elbowed was packing heat when he fell to the floor. They meant business, Buddy. I’m convinced that they were Tim’s murderers.”

  “Shit, man. Now what? Where are they?”

  “Heck if I know for sure. I got away once, but I’m limping myself.”

  “I noticed that when you got out of the car. What happened?”

  “You’re not tired of my stories yet?”

  “Heck no, my job in the military is pretty dull in comparison. All I do now is investigate fraud charges, mostly boring shit. Go on with your story, it’s a lot more exciting.”

  “Wait a minute; I need to use your facilities. This cider is going right through me.”

  “Sure, when did you eat last?” Doug asked.

  “It’s been a while, you got some grub?”

  “Yah, I’ll throw on a couple of thick steaks and cook them in teriyaki sauce. Sound good?”

  “Heck yes!”

  Leo used the facilities, flushed the toilet, washed his hands, and returned to the kitchen where Doug was already frying steaks.

  “So why are you limping?”

  “You won’t believe me.” Leo laughed.

  “Try me.”

  “Well, I stepped on a catfish.”

  “You’re right! You are joking, aren’t you?”

  “No, I’m serious.”

  “A catfish? So you sprained your ankle again?”

  “No, I forced his back fin through my foot.”

  Doug looked up from the steaks. “You are making it sound like you did it on purpose.”

  “Well, I did.”

  “Leo, I hate your stories.”

  “A moment ago you were begging for me to go on,” Leo reminded him.

  “That’s just it. I want to hear the end but you’ll never come right out with all of it. You always hold back, like the punch line to a joke. You make me draw it out of you piece by piece. Can’t you ever just spit it out?�
�� Doug took his frustration out by stabbing a steak and flipping it over in the pan.

  “I like to watch your reactions. You almost squirm in anticipation. Besides, I learned it from you. That’s how you tell your stories. As a matter of fact, you left me kind of hanging about your latest married squeeze.”

  “Good one, try to change the subject now. I see how you are.”

  “All right. The night that I ran out of the building after beating on two of Bob’s bad guys, I took off running up the beach, really not even knowing where I was going. I had no plan. I had been surprised myself. I really didn’t think Bob would bring bodyguards or assassins with him. Anyway, I came to an old pier where I used to go fishing when I lived in that town as a kid, it just felt right, so I went out on the pier thinking that they wouldn’t come looking for me there.”

  “Why not?”

  “I thought it was so obvious that there was no escape route off the pier that no one would think anyone in their right mind would go there. I didn’t expect them to come looking for me on it. I figured that they would turn up town, and I’d get away.”

  “But they checked the pier out anyway?”

  “Yep, they must have checked a few blocks around the pier and then doubled back after all. I had to cause a diversion. I purposely stepped on the catfish. The fishermen went nuts and carried me off the jetty right past Bob and his men. The rest is history.”

  “What’s your foot look like now?”

  “Much better.” Leo took off his sock and showed Doug his foot. “You should have seen it when the doctor was sticking his tweezers into the fresh bloody wound, or worse, when he was sticking giant Q-tips through the foot swabbing it with iodine solution.”

  “Enough! We’re about to have dinner, man.”

  “Whoa, are you becoming squeamish in your old age?”

  “Nope, I just don’t want to ruin my appetite.”

  “Are they about done?”

  “Close. You still like yours bloody?”

  “Yep, and I suppose you still like your steak like an old shoe sole?”

  “I don’t like to hear it ‘moo’ when I stick my fork in it! Some things never change. So, what makes you think they might show up here? If you gave them the slip on the coast, this is Denver, man, and I am sure nobody ever heard of me before.”

  “They’re good. They have connections everywhere. It just would not surprise me. I did my best not to be followed. I even bought that little sports car, paid cash and never registered it.”

  “Have you been using your credit cards? They sure leave a quick tell-tale trail of your whereabouts. Even your cell phone, have you used it at all?”

  “The last time I used my credit cards was at the gas station a few blocks away, when I called you on my cell phone.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “Of course not! Do you think I’d be that dumb? In all seriousness, I did use my cell phone once. I was just past Sparks, near Reno on I-80 and needed to call Sarah. I didn’t really know how traceable that might be but I was at a rest stop in the middle of nowhere and knew they had no clue what I was driving. I could have gone in any direction.”

  “Anyone who would purposely step on the back fin of a catfish has a debatable intellect in my opinion. I suppose I could easily name a few dozen more debatable intellectual decisions from your past. You sure opened it up with that question.”

  “Well, anyone who would befriend such an individual would themselves have questionable intellect,” Leo rebutted.

  “There you go again, trying to turn everything around to your favor.”

  “Nah, not to my favor, I’m just trying to even them up a bit.”

  Doug removed Leo’s steak and placed it between two slices of bread. “Still want ketchup too?”

  “You mean you’d eat it plain?”

  “I don’t consider teriyaki sauce plain.”

  “Oh, but without ketchup it would taste pretty ordinary.”

  “So, you still drown your food in ketchup? You haven’t grown out of that yet?”

  “You said it yourself: ‘some things never change.’”

  Doug retrieved a bottle of ketchup from the refrigerator and handed it to him. Leo helped himself to a knife and fork as well as a Mtn. Dew. He was beginning to relax and feel much better.

  “Grab me a beer while you’re there please.” Doug tossed his steak onto a plate. It smelled great. The two men sat down in the dining room between the kitchen and the sunken living room. “So, what do you need from me, besides untraceable guns for the moment?”

  “Just your undying loyalty, your home, vehicles, your life if necessary, and did I mention your computer skills?”

  “Of course, how about my firstborn son, too?”

  “Oh no, I wouldn’t want to put you out or ask for too much.” They both chuckled as they ate their steak sandwiches.

  “Buddy, it’s good to see you.”

  “Well, I’m not entirely sure the feeling is mutual this time.”

  “Ah, I won’t hold it against you. You’ll be won over by my charm and come around soon enough. One more thing, can you get a week off work?”

  “Take a week off just like that? I don’t work for myself like you do,” Doug said between bites. “Have you ever heard about giving your superiors a two week notice prior to taking leave, or is that a foreign concept to you?”

  “Yeah I have heard of it, but being self-employed, it doesn’t mean much to me anymore. Anyway, I’m guessing for now, just take one week off. Hopefully, that should be enough time to get things under control. If not, you can always take off another week, right?”

  “Leo, you are truly amazing.”

  “Thank you, Doug. Few fans see my greatness and appreciate it as you do. You’re a terrific friend!”

  “You keep talking like that and I’ll have to get my waders on. Look man, we’re not a couple of kids in high school or college anymore, pulling some kind of stunt. I have responsibilities to take care of.”

  “Responsibilities? Like what? Watering your plants? Tending to your neighbor’s wife? You don’t appear to have any pets, it seems that your latest floozy still has a man, you already told me how boring your job is, and I’m sure, knowing you, that you have already even made your house payment as well as your utility payments this month. So what big pressing responsibility do you have that can’t wait for a week or two?”

  Doug spit a bite of steak out onto his plate. “You choke me up. What bothers me more is that you act like your line of bullshit is serious, like I should jump when you show up out of nowhere and snap your fingers.”

  “Oh, is that what you’ve been waiting for? Okay.” Leo loudly snapped his fingers. “Now, who do you need to call to get this week off work?”

  Flabbergasted, Doug looked at his plate and shook his head. “Hey pal, I’m sorry, but you’ve all but lost it this time.”

  “What’s the matter? Is Major Corrigan not used to following orders? Get so high up the chain of command that you only give the orders now days? Fine, I don’t care. Call up one of your grunts and order them to take up the slack, ‘cause Major Corrigan is going on a little adventure!”

  “You know what? Besides being full of shit, you’re still overbearing, just like when we grew up. Do you remember that we always did whatever you wanted?”

  “No way, buddy, I always considered your input and feelings then did what was best, or the right thing, which ever was the case, for both of us.”

  “You know my parents adored you? They thought you were such a saint, they actually thought that you would never lead me astray.”

  “You mean they don’t anymore? Were you using the past tense in that sentence about your parent’s high regard for me? What in the world would ever make them change their minds?”

  “That’s not the point. I haven’t even gotten to the point yet.” Doug was obviously getting somewhat annoyed.

  “That’s all right. I already con
sidered what’s best for both of us, and right now it is to get as far away from endangering anyone, including you, as possible. That call I made might have put you in danger, too. I just don’t know. Therefore, all you need to do is make some calls, and pack a suitcase, and we’ll hit the road.”

  “Are you nuts? I’m going to take you down and pin your ass to the floor till you start making sense.”

  “I bet that works with your grunts, right? You know what? It doesn’t do much for me. You’re big and strong but you were never that fast. In the first place you couldn’t ever catch me.” Leo reached over and picked up the cordless telephone receiver from its base on the kitchen counter. “What’s the number? I’ll dial it for you.”

  “How in hell does Sarah put up with you? Look at the time. I can’t call anyone at two in the morning, even if I wanted to give into your lunacy.”

  Leo double checked the time. “Oh well, what time would be appropriate to call?”

  “On a Saturday? Not before ten o’clock!”

  “Well then, at least it’s settled.”

  “Settled! What’s settled?” Doug was showing his frustration, and at the same time enjoying the companionable patterns of their youth.

  “We’ll leave tomorrow morning right after you call whomever it is you need to call.”

  “Suppose for a moment that I can get off, leave to where, and why?”

  “It’s obvious.”

  “I’m beginning to lose patience with you. What’s so damn obvious?”

  “Okay, all joking aside now, Doug, I have a feeling, call it a premonition if you must, but I don’t think we are safe here. These guys are super smart and desperate. We are going to have to find out what’s on that flash drive and make it public, or my life is over, and perhaps yours too, now that I’ve involved you and told you way too much. I hope not, but I suspect you’ll have to work on that flash drive for a while to break the code and you’ll need a quiet safe place to do that. It probably isn’t here.”

  “I guess I can make a few calls in the morning in order to get out of here, but where do we go?”