Silver Ravens

by Jane Fletcher

  Without stopping to think, Lori wrapped her in a hug. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Does it still count as rape if you’re too far outside your own head to say no?”

  “Yes.”

  “After a couple of years, she got bored with me. Others took my place in her bed, but it didn’t get any better.” Tamsin slid her arm around Lori’s waist. Her cheek rested on Lori’s shoulder. “There are scars on my back. Before I drank the Waters, I remember them as the result of a flogging on the orders of King Orfran. It wasn’t him. Now, I remember her laughing.”

  I want to kill her too.

  “There can’t have been any reason for it. I was a thrall. All I could do was what she told me to.”

  I really want to kill her. “I wish it was different. Rianna gave me the chills from the moment I met her. She just didn’t match up with the woman you talked about. I knew one of us was completely wrong about her. Now I’m wishing it was me. I’m sorry.”

  “Never apologise for being right. Because I’ve been so wrong, for so long. And I’ve believed so many lies. How could I have been that stupid? I know she’d messed up my memories, but I should have tied more clues together. There were so many ridiculous contradictions in my head, but I never tried to square them. I should have known that things weren’t adding up.”

  “She’d scrambled your mind. Put in blocks to stop you asking questions.”

  Tamsin shook her head. “Even so, I can think of a dozen times Finn, or Hippo, or BH would say something, and I’d be confused. But I could never bring myself to say anything. The memories stayed locked in my head, until last night, with you. For the first time, I was able to talk, and I was able to talk, because it was you.”

  “Rianna only needed to stop you from comparing notes with the other Silver Ravens.”

  “No. It’s more than that.” Tamsin pulled back and looked into Lori’s eyes. The tears had dried, and she was calmer, more resolute. “You’ve got your own way of getting inside my head. I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to trust you.”

  “And I threw it back in your face. I’m sorry, but I had to make you drink from the well.”

  “It needed to be done. Thank you. I’m grateful, truly.” Tamsin leaned forward and placed the softest, gentlest kiss on Lori’s mouth, their lips brushing.

  Lori felt the breath catch in her throat. The shock rippled through her, but before she could respond, Tamsin pulled away and stood up.

  “And we haven’t got time to hang around. We must make plans and get back to Caersiddi.”

  “Do you have a plan?”

  “A vague outline of one. We take Gilwyn back as a prisoner. Wait until everything is quiet. And then we’ll…” Tamsin stopped and looked down at her hands. “I could almost overlook the rape, the beatings, the humiliations, all of that. The state I was in, as a thrall, I wasn’t fully aware of most of it. But afterwards she made me think I loved her. That I’ll never forgive.”

  * * *

  “You’re going to keep me tied up?” Gilwyn sounded disgusted.

  “Yes. Otherwise nobody will mistake you for a prisoner. Deal with it.” Tamsin looked around. “Are we all good?” Good was maybe a little too optimistic, but a desire for revenge had brought out the steel core in the Silver Ravens. “Right. We leave in ten minutes.”

  While the others attended to their horses, Tamsin took Lori aside. “Are you sure there was nobody here when you arrived?”

  “Yes. We startled a few deer when we landed, and a couple of crows took off, but that was it.”

  “Right. Next question. Do you have any idea how many human thralls Rianna has?”

  “No. I’ve seen three, including Gaius, who’s gone now. But I suspect there’s more.”

  “Probably. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you before.”

  “We can blame Rianna. But Gaius was how I recognised the transformed boggart in Castle Farraon. I can’t forget his eyes.”

  “So that’s the trick.” Tamsin pursed her lips. “I don’t want to fight thralls. But it would be typical of Rianna to sacrifice them.”

  “Maybe Gilwyn can wrest control from her. Though I’d hate to rely on him.”

  “Me too. I know a slippery bastard when I see one, but he was right about Rianna screwing with our memories, and for now, we’re on the same side. We’re both out for revenge.”

  “I’m not sure how attached he was to his mother.”

  “Oh, it’ll be mere pride when it comes to her. The revenge is more to do with his own treatment by Rianna. The sad thing is, now that my memories are back, Bronwen was the only fay I’d put any faith in. Though I’m still not sure I’d have trusted her enough to lend her my favourite shirt.” Tamsin forced a smile. The pain was still in her eyes. “This spell Rianna wants to cast. Is there any special date for it?”

  “When it’s one of the quarterdays on Earth.”

  “Okay, I’ll have Widget run the sums, but I think the next is five or six days from now. So we’ve got no need to rush into things. There’s time to get you back to Earth before the fun kicks off.”

  “No. I’m staying.”

  “I’d be happier with you safely out of it.”

  “Not gonna happen. If I wanted to run away, I should have left Gilwyn alone, and not tried to restore your memories. I chose to be a player in this game, and I’m not backing out.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “Yes.”

  “Really sure?”

  “Yes.”

  Tamsin sighed. “I wish you’d change your mind, but it does simplify the planning.” She patted Lori’s arm. “I need a quick word with Finn before we leave.”

  Whatever Tamsin’s plans were, Lori’s main hope was that she could snatch a couple of hours’ sleep first. At the moment she was good for absolutely nothing. She raised a hand to cover another yawn. How was she going to stay on Cirrus’s back? Fortunately, the Waters of Clarity lay almost directly on the route between Farraon and Caersiddi, and the remaining part of the journey was short.

  Lines of ice ran in prickling waves over her scalp. Her eyes were burning and her head felt stretched. Lori pouted ruefully. At university she could pull all-nighters and still get to lectures the next day.

  Dammit. I guess I’m getting older.

  Chapter Twenty-one

  By the time the Silver Ravens reached Caersiddi, Lori was sleepwalking through treacle. Despite all that had happened, and what might lie ahead, she could not get beyond thoughts of her bed, and the chance to lie down and close her eyes. She spared one glance for the others, manhandling Gilwyn up the interlinked stairways of the middle bailey, on their way to give a repeat performance of handing him over to Rianna, and then she literally crawled up the stairs to her room. Her boots were the only thing to go before she collapsed on her bed, fully clothed, and let herself sink into the warm, dark arms of slumber.

  Daylight still flooded the room when Lori awoke, but the shafts came almost horizontally. Sunset was at hand. Her head was thick and her mouth felt as if she had been chewing old socks. She slid off the bed and tottered across to the window. Activity in the middle bailey appeared the same as normal. Had she missed anything while she slept?

  The first, obvious, answer to this question was of course, dinner. As she watched, a small group of Iron Ravens barged their way out of the mess hall, jostling each other in light-hearted rivalry. Maybe, if she hurried, she could get something to eat. A proper wash and a change of clothes were also high priorities, but they could wait. She shoved her feet into her boots and hurried downstairs.

  The mess hall was not deserted. Apart from serving boggarts and a few stragglers, the Silver Ravens were all at their table in the corner. Lori was greeted with smiles as she joined then. Even Finn gave her a nod of acknowledgment.

  “Is any food left?”

  “After Hippo’s been at it? Get serious.” Widget grinned at her.

  Tamsin snapped her fingers to get the attention of the nearest boggart. “We’
ll have another trencher with meat and potage.”

  The boggart jiggled his head earnestly and scurried off.

  BH pushed an empty wineglass and a bottle in Lori’s direction. “A gift from Her Majesty, in recognition of a job well done.”

  Lori sniffed the open top. “Brandy?”

  “Something like that.”

  A drink with lower alcohol content would have gone better with the meal, but the usual weak beer was not on the table. She took a sip. The taste was closer to Greek than French brandy, with a fruity fullness.

  “What do you think of it?” Hippo asked.

  “It’s all right.”

  “Good, we’ve got four bottles to get through.”

  “We could save some till tomorrow.”

  “Where’s the fun in that?”

  Everyone cheered. Lori laughed, for the first time fully a part of the group, included as the jokes and banter flowed around the table. Everyone looked as if they were having a good time, happy and animated. Yet, only a few hours before, they had gone through an emotional trauma on a scale hard to imagine. They had to be tearing up inside, but the Silver Ravens would do whatever it took to get the job done—including acting as if nothing was up.

  “You don’t want to be our sniper then?” Widget asked. “Typical. Just when I thought I’d found another chess player.”

  “No. The instructors on the training course called me Annie Oakley, but I’m like her, best sticking with shooting at targets for fun.”

  “Annie Oakley?” Tamsin said. “You know, I met her once, when I was in the USA, sorting out Earth investments. Except it was before she got famous and she was still called Annie Mosey.”

  Shorty laughed. “Mousie? I can see why she picked a stage name.”

  “Maybe we should start—” BH broke off at a commotion by the door.

  A boisterous group of Iron Ravens surged in, carrying fiddles, flutes, and drums.

  “Hey. Party time.” Hippo gave a whoop.

  “Oh no. He’s going to start dancing.” Widget feigned despair.

  “Better than him singing,” Finn muttered, but this time Lori caught the undertone of dry humour.

  Tamsin reached under the table and pulled up another bottle of spirits. “Time to open the next one, courtesy of Her Majesty.”

  Her Majesty—not Queen Rianna. The only blip in the act. Nobody was voluntarily saying her name. Lori pushed the remains of her bread bowl away. “Did the queen say anything else?”

  “She wants to see us tomorrow and congratulate everyone personally, after we’ve had a rest.”

  “And a bath?”

  “Wouldn’t be a bad idea.”

  But washing away the grime would have to wait until morning. The alcohol was hitting, harder and quicker than Lori expected. Already she had to be well over the limit. Maybe it was due to her disrupted sleep pattern. Either way, it was time to slow down, or even stop drinking altogether.

  Meanwhile, the musicians had finished tuning their instruments. Darkness had fallen outside, and only candlelight lit the hall. The door opened as more Iron Ravens streamed in. News was spreading. The fresh arrivals helped their comrades move tables to clear a dance floor. Before long, the music had started and the mess hall was full of drunken soldiers gyrating around. A few could dance, but most floundered around, out of time with the rhythm. The tune was closer to Irish folk than anything else, but overlain with other influences.

  Since arriving in Caersiddi, Lori had heard sounds from previous parties in the mess hall, but had always been too tired to join in. With hindsight, staying in her room had been a mistake. Maybe the brandy had gone to her head, but it was all too much fun. Between the music, the leather, the lighting, and the male-female ratio, the effect was somewhere between a barn dance and a BDSM gay disco during a power cut. Despite her previous resolution, she poured herself another glass.

  Tamsin slid onto the bench beside her. “How are you doing?”

  “I see how Hippo got his name.”

  “It didn’t take much imagination.” Tamsin leaned in close to be heard over the noise. “I knocked on your door this afternoon, but you didn’t answer. Where were you?”

  “Dead to the world.” Lori shifted around, so that she was pressed against Tamsin’s body. “What did you want to say?”

  “I was going to try again to talk you into going back to Earth.” Tamsin’s breath tickled her ear.

  “No chance. I’m here till the end.”

  “I’d feel happier knowing you were safe.”

  “Like I said, it’s not gonna happen. Anyway, would you have had time to escort me?”

  “I’d have commandeered a squad of Iron Ravens.”

  “Can—”

  “Hey, Tazer, are you going to join us?” Shorty shouted from the dance area.

  “Later.”

  Tazer, not Captain—they were definitely off duty, not that officer and subordinate roles counted any more. “Do you prefer Tamsin or Tazer?”

  “You can call me whatever you want, as long as it’s not Thomasina.”

  “I think I like Tamsin better.”

  “Fine by me.”

  The dancing stopped to allow the musicians to take a drink. However, one player continued with a haunting tune on the pipe. Around the room, singers picked up the ballad, and then dancers took to the floor, couples moving in slow unison. Lori was acutely aware of Tamsin’s body pressed against hers.

  “Would you…”

  “I don’t suppose…”

  They both spoke at the same time. Tamsin started laughing. “Oh, come on.”

  “Weren’t we suppose to have a conversation first?”

  “It can wait.” Tamsin grabbed her hand and tugged her off the bench.

  Her body moulded against Tamsin’s. Whistles and catcalls from the other Silver Ravens faded into the background. Lori’s head nestled into the hollow of Tamsin’s shoulder. Her hands pressed against Tamsin’s back, following the movement of leather encased muscles. She could feel the beat of Tamsin’s pulse against her cheek. The strength of Tamsin’s arms around her was good.

  She sank into the body magic, letting Tamsin and the music guide her. The start of a relationship, the heady, giddy, heart-stopping, soul-burning first steps, when lust turned from imagination into reality. That was where they were. The build-up had gone so slowly, or seemed as if it had. Lori could not be bothered to count the days since they first met.

  The ballad finished. A moment of peace. They stayed locked together and then stepped apart. Tamsin caught hold of Lori’s hand. “Thank you.”

  “Thank you, too.”

  The drummers began pounding out a beat, and chaos erupted back on the dance floor. Lori was a little surprised to see that Shorty and Hippo had also been sharing a slow dance. They separated and launched into energetic action, while Tamsin towed her back to the table, worming a way through the heaving crowd. The rest of the Silver Ravens greeted them with cheers and the flourish of a third bottle of brandy.

  BH was about to refill her glass. Lori placed a hand over the top. “I’ve had enough.”

  “You sure?”

  A nod. She knew her limits when it came to spirits. What she really wanted was something thirst-quenching, water, or even beer. She looked around, but the boggart servants had left.

  Tamsin stood behind her, with both hands on her shoulders. Lori closed her eyes and leaned back, feeling ridiculously happy and secure. Beyond ridiculous, if she were to take the slightest account of their current situation. But then her head started to accelerate backwards and a wobble flipped in her stomach, and not in a good way. She had drunk far too much.

  She pulled Tamsin’s head down to mouth level. “I need to go.”

  “Now?”

  “Yes.”

  She followed Tamsin around the edge of the mess hall and out into the peace of the middle bailey. The night air was cool on her face. Other couples were also in the starlit garden, but there was no difficulty finding a space
to themselves. Tamsin leaned against a tree and pulled her into an embrace. Lori was a good three inches the shorter, forcing her to look up. Tamsin’s eyes reflected the light of unearthly stars.

  Their lips met, but unlike the kiss that morning, this was not quick, or soft. Raw desire burned through Lori, overriding any thought beyond right here, right now. Their mouths moved, hard and passionate. She sucked hungrily on Tamsin’s lower lip. The first touch of their tongues was like an electric shock, a jolt that ran though the core of her body. She ached, needing to be touched, needing release.

  Lori broke away, breathing harshly. “We should go to my room, or yours.”

  For the space of a dozen body-shaking gasps Tamsin made no reply. “No. I don’t think so.”

  The words were like being doused with cold water. “Then what?”

  “We kiss and say good night.”

  “That’s it?”

  “Call me an old-fashioned girl. After all, I was born in the seventeenth century.”

  There was more. There had to be. Tamsin was not saying something. Was it a rejection, or part of a plan to deal with Rianna? Then nausea bubbled up in Lori’s stomach. Maybe backing off would be for the best. If she had not drunk so much brandy, she could have argued, but throwing up really was not a good look on a first date. How much had she drunk?

  After another kiss that all but melted her socks, Lori returned to her room, alone.

  * * *

  Despite her extended afternoon nap, Lori was asleep the moment her head hit the pillow, dropping her into a deep, dark pit of unconsciousness. Although, this time she managed to remove her outer layer of clothing first.

  She awoke while it was still dark, with the beginnings of a hangover spearing her temples. The room spun. She switched on the flashlight she had taken to keeping by the bed and lay still, concentrating on breathing. Her stomach was fragile and her mouth had turned to sandpaper. She could only hope Tamsin’s plans would not require any effort from herself until after midday, because she was going to be absolutely no use before then. How much had she drunk?