Heart Of Stone

by Lace, Lolah

  She reached into the refrigerator and pulled out two bottles of water. “Water?” She asked and I took it. “First, he’s not just some guy. He’s Ladell Peterson. You know exactly who he is.”

  Anger! Her words made me angry. I took the water bottle and threw it at her. I don’t know why. She ducked. The bottle bounced off the top of the stove.

  “Tonio, what the fuck is your problem.”

  “He’s old.” I wasn’t sure why I said that.

  “He’s forty-two.”

  “He’s a has been.”

  “He’s a sports legend.”

  “Are you seeing him?”

  “Yes, I am. Are you happy now?”

  “Now you’re going after the men with money.”

  “I don’t run into many blue collar workers living in Lake Forest.”

  “Where does he live?”

  “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

  “I asked you a question.”

  “I didn’t give you an answer.”

  “I don’t want him around my son.”

  “Not a problem. I know you don’t want anyone to know you have a son by a Black woman.”

  “So race is my issue?”

  “I’m Black so it’s not my goddamn issue.”

  “It’s not mine either. You know why I can’t go public.”

  “Sure, I know that bullshit you said. I don’t really care. You’re in L.A. I’m here with Alex. Go back to Cinna, your fiancée.”

  “Is that what this is about?”

  “Sure, if that makes you feel better.”

  “I don’t want Ladell in this house that I paid for.”

  “He has a few houses of his own. I can date without him without him coming here.”

  “You started dating Ladell because I’m engaged to Cinna? You and I were never in a relationship.”

  “I know that. If we were in a relationship I wouldn’t be dating Ladell.”

  “Have you fucked him?”

  “None of your damn business. Alex is your business and I’m keeping him away from Ladell. I don’t want Alex anywhere near that trashcan Cinna.”

  “Cinna is my fiancée.”

  “Great, get out my face and get into hers.”

  “You look like a whore with him.”

  “I don’t care.”

  “Did he pay more for your pussy than I did?”

  “Yep.”

  I rubbed my hand over my face. What was she doing? “You cannot date anybody.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because you are mine.”

  “Man you crazy. Get the fuck out of here with the hot-mess-foolishness. You over here in my face worried about my pussy. Good luck with Cinna Lawson. Maybe the marriage will last more than three months.”

  “Fuck you! You gold digging Black bitch.”

  “Sticks and stones motherfucker. You need to just be a father to your son.”

  “I am a good father. You’re a fucking prostitute I knocked up.”

  “Fuck you! You are the biggest crybaby motherfucker on this planet. Oh, boo-hoo the Academy only gave me two Oscars instead of three. Kids don’t give a shit about Oscars but you would never know that because are the most important person to you. You are the most selfish motherfucker in the history of selfish motherfuckers.”

  “Selfish! Look around. I pay for this shit. I pay your bills. You call me selfish. Look at your life. I gave you this life. Why? All because you had working ovaries. I’m selfish and you are fucking stupid. What twenty-six-year-old woman isn’t on birth control? You really didn’t want to make anything of your life? Who gets knocked up without a career or a husband?”

  “You were supposed to bring the condoms. So as far as I’m concerned you’re the stupid one.”

  I charged her I started ripping the clothes off her body while she didn’t put up much of a fight.

  I don’t know what was supposed to happen when I arrived here. I didn’t have a plan. I was upset with her and most of all I was jealous. I had a fear that I would lose her. I really felt like she was mine and the only way I could cure myself was to stay away.

  I was going to have to put that plan into action tomorrow. Today I fucked her on top of the kitchen island.

  I was going to stay here tonight and go back to LA tomorrow. I had to make sure that retired NBA player didn’t fuck her better than I could.

  CHAPTER 13

  KELBY

  THREE MONTHS LATER

  I was done with him. I was glad he stayed away from me. Three months and I hadn’t laid eyes on him. It was best he saw his son through his mother. Patti didn’t understand why Tonio and I couldn’t just co-parent peacefully. I couldn’t explain it to her without looking like an idiot. Patti didn’t interfere and she was our go-between. It just made everything go smoother.

  This Hollywood dream marriage was happening. It was happening tomorrow afternoon. I knew he was in town but he stayed away and I was grateful not to have to deal with his bullshit.

  Tonio had a way of doing whatever he wanted. It was 1 AM when he showed up at my door.

  “Why are you here? You’re getting married tomorrow.” Actually, he’s getting married today.

  “I know that.”

  “Shouldn’t you be at your bachelor party?”

  “I was there. I skipped out.”

  “Why?”

  “Ah.” He slurred.

  “Tonio what do you want?”

  “I want to take a nap.”

  “Go to Daniel’s. No, I can call you an Uber. There’s no way you should drive.”

  “Yeah, I’ve been drinking. I’ve been drinking.” He sang and laughed at the same time.

  “Don’t sing. You got to go.”

  “But no I don’t want to go. Where’s Alexander?”

  “You know he’s with Carla. He’s going to the wedding with them.”

  “Right. Are you coming to the wedding?”

  “No, I’m not. You know this. I’m not watching you get married.”

  “No, no, why?”

  “Tonio, if Cinna knew who I was she wouldn’t want me there. She doesn’t even know about me.”

  “No, I need you there.”

  “You’ll be okay once you sober up.”

  “I know how to sober up.”

  “Coffee, I can make you coffee.”

  “No, no, let me have some pussy pretty girl.”

  “What?” Not this again. We were passed that.

  He latched onto my body. He had has palm pressed into the crack of my ass. His other hand was wrapped around the back of my neck.

  “Kelby let me have you one more time.”

  “Tonio you are getting married tomorrow.”

  “I’m single tonight.”

  I tried to duck his kiss but he was holding my neck. His lips pressed into mine like they were supposed to be there. I didn’t want to kiss him back and I internally tried to fight it. I lose the fight at first and then I bit his bottom lip. He grabbed a chunk of my hair and twisted my neck so my face was staring up at the ceiling.

  “Tonio.”

  He couldn’t answer me. He had his mouth on my neck. What was he doing? He was doing what he does well. Seducing me. I hate him.

  His hands were all over me. I couldn’t move. I was sinking into the floor and a drunken Tonio was holding me up on my feet.

  A drunken Tonio flipped me over his shoulder and carried me up the stairs. I saw my life flash before my eyes. If he dropped me I was dead. Luckily he didn’t.

  He tossed me on the bed and started undressing me. It went fast. I was in t-shirt with no panties. I lay there and watched him undress.

  “I don’t want to let you go. Tell me you love me, pretty girl.”

  “No way. Fuck you.”

  He didn’t bother with foreplay. He just jumped inside me and started banging my insides out.

  “Please fuck me. Fuck me back.” He pleaded with me.

  “No, I hate you.”

  He flipped me over
on my stomach.

  “Throw your nice ass back on my cock.”

  I hated him in ways of hate I didn’t know existed but I wanted to fuck him. I wanted the pleasure. I wanted to come. I wanted to show him just what he would miss when he walked down the aisle.

  ***

  It was early morning when he showed up and it was late morning now. I checked my cell. It was six. We had only probably slept two or three hours. He was wide-awake next to me. He smelled of alcohol and I’m sure I did too. He turned to look at me.

  “Tonio, this is the end of us.”

  His eyes were staring at me. “I know.”

  “I’m not keeping any more secrets for you. We can only parent Alex together.”

  “I know. I didn’t plan to show up here drunk last night.”

  “I’m not your fall back. I’m not anything but your sons’ mother. This has to stop now.”

  His cell phone started buzzing. He looked at the screen.

  “It’s Daniel.”

  “Answer it. He’s probably worried. You left your bachelor party loaded.

  He answered it. “Daniel.”

  “Are you ready to go home with me?” The room was so quiet I could hear Daniel’s voice through the cell phone.

  “I’m sorry I left the party early.”

  “I’m here. What are you going to do?”

  “You’re where?”

  “I’m downstairs. The door was unlocked. I saw my truck outside.”

  “You’re here at Kelby’s?”

  “Yes, Curtis brought me to one place we’d thought you would go. We were right.”

  Tonio looked back at me. “Yeah.”

  “I couldn’t go home without you. It would look suspicious to everyone. Are you getting married today?”

  “I think so, yes.”

  “I don’t have a lecture for you. This is your life.”

  “I’m going to shower and come down.”

  “I’ll be downstairs waiting for you. Hurry up.” Tonio ended the call.

  “That was Daniel.” I knew that. “He’s downstairs. He was—”

  “You don’t have to explain. Shower and go.”

  My feet thumped down on the rug. I stood and went into the bathroom to wash my face. I wanted him out. I was so done with him. I don’t know how I succumb to his bullshit last night. I’m an idiot that’s how. Tonio had been treating me like his personal property since the day we met. I’m not this stupid groupie bitch. I’m not the side chick. I’m not the slide. This isn’t me. I deserved better than this.

  I grabbed my robe and left the room. I needed to get as far away from him as possible. I took the back stairs down to the kitchen for water. I was thirsty. I wanted to get him out so I can invite Jahasia over. I needed support. I needed a few drinks on the day my son’s father was getting married to some other woman.

  I opened the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of water. I shut the fridge door and Daniel was standing on the other side of the island. I felt naked even though I was covered from my neck down to my ankles.

  “Morning Kelby.”

  “Good morning Daniel.” I tried to sound normal under abnormal circumstances.

  “How’s my brother. He sober?”

  “Ah, I think so.”

  “This is very awkward.” He stated the obvious.

  “It is so many things.”

  “Are you coming today?”

  To the wedding? “No, I’m definitely going to stay (my Black ass) at home.”

  “Why do I feel I should apologize for my brother’s behavior?”

  “Because you’re a good guy and your brother’s a selfish asshole.”

  “Yes, that’s probably why.” He tried to smile.

  “If you worried that I’m going to show up and make a scene, I’m not.”

  “I didn’t think that at all. I have to go along with this because Tonio is my brother. I don’t know if this marriage will last a year. He’s stubborn and he thinks he’s doing the right thing.”

  “I don’t care Daniel. Nowhere in the agreement I signed does it say I have to have sex with Tonio. He got his last ride. It’s over. If he tries to come at me again, I’m going to break that agreement. I mean it. I will sell my story to the tabloids. Fuck him and fuck the money.”

  “Kelby, I will talk to him. There is no need for threats. I know you’re hurt. Tonio loves you. He doesn’t know how to express it. His feelings only come out in his work.”

  “I’m not going to be his mistress. My parents were married. Marriage means something to me. He picked her. When he says I do, I’m done with him.” I knew I sounded like a hypocrite but it is what it is.

  “You have to co-parent with him.”

  “I do and there will be no more sex. Fuck your brother. If he wants to turn out to be like your father I’m not going to help him.”

  “He’s not like our father.”

  Like hell, he’s abandoning Alex and me. We’re his family. He’s a liar. Cinna doesn’t even know Alex is Tonio’s son.

  “Daniel there are some similarities. I don’t care anymore. I’m just trying to be a good mother to Alex.”

  “You are.”

  Daniel and I sat down in the kitchen and chatted about all things unrelated to Daniel and this raggedy ass wedding that was taking place today. Tonio came downstairs after a few minutes. I was so sad and happy when he left.

  CHAPTER 14

  TONIO

  I felt relatively sober. All the men got dressed at my mother’s house, while the women went to the venue. I cost a lot of money to get the Chicago Art Institute on a Saturday. The entire wedding was a small fortune. Daniel watched me like he could read my mind. I knew I was thinking about her. I guess he knew it too. I was fresh. I had dressed and it was time to leave. I was in a room with my trusted groomsmen, Daniel, Curtis, and Harry.

  “I can drive to my own wedding.”

  “You can but we all think you should just ride with us.”

  “This is my last drive as a single man. Give me a break. Let me drive. Why are you all looking at me like this?”

  “Like what?” Daniel deflected.

  “Tonio, are you going to show up at the church?” Curtis was being a prick.

  I chuckled. “Where else would I go?”

  Daniel looked at Harry. Harry looked Curtis. Fuck! They all were exchanging looks at my fucking expense. Clue me in. What the fuck is going on?

  “Curtis,” I called him out because I knew he would spill.

  “Tonio, we are a little worried that you may go to Kelby.”

  “Why would I do that?”

  Curtis rolled his eyes and soon Harry did the same. Daniel just looked away. He refused to give me any eye contact.

  My groomsmen are assholes. Harry was bold enough to step toward me. “Look, there are a lot of people involved in this wedding. We have the Art Institute and part of Michigan Avenue shut down for your big day. The People magazine photographer is there. I know you love Kelby but leaving Cinna Lawson at the alter would be a publicity nightmare.”

  “I don’t love Kelby.”

  Daniel turned his back on me.

  “It doesn’t matter.” Harry patted my chest. “America loves you. Fuck it, the world loves you. If you piss on Cinna, she probably won’t go so quietly in the night.”

  “She doesn’t have to go anywhere but to the damn church. I’m going to marry her. I’m not backing out. I love Cinna. It’s like you don’t trust, none of you.”

  “We trust you.” Now Daniel speaks. “But—”

  “But what?”

  “Kelby?”

  “Fuck Kelby!”

  “My sentiments exactly. Yes, please stop fucking Kelby!” Daniel blurted.

  “What? You told them?”

  “Tonio, bro straight up. No one has to tell us anything. We all know you are banging your baby mama.” Curtis tossed his hands up.

  I looked at Harry. Obviously, everyone had been talking shit behind my back.

&nb
sp; “I didn’t know my cock had such a fan club.”

  “Tonio, I work for you but we are friends. You have to stop with Kelby. It is getting harder and harder trying to hide all your shenanigans. The paparazzi live for this shit. They will catch you. It’s only a matter of time. You’re marrying Cinna and you have to actually be faithful. Leave Kelby alone.”

  “I didn’t know all you motherfuckers had such a crush on my Kel— kid’s mother.”

  “Right Tone, we all want to fuck Kelby. Get your head together.”

  “I’m driving myself.” I grabbed the keys off the dresser drawer and left the three stooges.

  I got in my car and I called her.

  KELBY

  I don’t know why I thought the rest of the day would go smoothly. My cell phone was ringing off the hook. What did he want? I had ignored his calls until it got to a point that I was fed up. My stubbornness didn’t last long. He texted me one word: ALEX and then my cell phone rang. I had to answer this call. It had to be about our son.

  “What?” Was I supposed to be civil to this man? I just wasn’t that damn mature.

  “I called three times.”

  My eyes rolled back in my head even though he couldn’t see them. “What do you want?”

  “I want to say— I don’t know— I just.”

  “Are you at your wedding?”

  “No, I’m driving.”

  “Where’s Alex?”

  “He’s there already. He’s with my mother.”

  “Why are you calling me?”

  “I’m getting married very soon.”

  Ah yeah. “I know.”

  “I’m going to have to act like a married man. It’s important that I make this marriage work. Everyone will be watching me.”

  “No worries. Your marriage will work. I’m done with you. So if that helps, you two should live happily ever after.”

  “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

  “But you did— repeatedly. I’m over it.” I’m over you and your bitch-ass-ness.

  “I’m screwed up in the head. I never meant to do it. I appear to have more control than I actually do. I can control my professional life without any problems but my personal life has always been chaos. I never wanted to drag you into the mayhem. I didn’t know you would get pregnant with Alex. I didn’t know I would have these feelings. I’m sorry. I wanted to be a better man.”