Just Breathe Series (Trilogy Box Set)

by Martha Sweeney

  “Still not my favorite person right now,” I comment with my arms crossed.

  “I still love you anyway,” he sweetly remarks, tugging at my heartstrings.

  “Love you too,” I mumble under my breath.

  Joe walks Jared out while I work on unzipping my dress. Taking my shoes off, I head to the bathroom to use the mirror to see better. Yep, definitely more drunk that I thought. Eyeing my reflection, my pleased grin begins to change to a subdued sadness as the reality of tonight begins to sink into my heart. One of my two best friends is getting married. I’m happy for her, but my gut drops knowing that I’ve lost her. A tear runs down my cheek as I look away.

  “You okay,” Joe checks, walking towards me.

  “Huh? Yeah. Good,” I return, wiping the tear away.

  “What’s wrong?” he searches with concern.

  “Nothing,” I lie. “Umm, can you help me with the zipper?” I turn and move my hair out of the way.

  “Sure.” He gently lowers it with ease.

  Our bodies hover close, not wanting to separate. He softly cups my chin and dries my cheeks from the tear stains. With the power of alcohol coursing through me, I kiss Joe. He returns the embrace before he unexpectedly pulls away. My eyes blink slowly as I try to comprehend what just happened.

  “We should get you to bed,” he directs.

  “Okay,” I quietly agree, pouting.

  I suddenly feel frisky at the thought that he might want to fool around.

  Incoherently, I take off my dress and hang it in the closet. Left with just a strapless bra and a matching lace thong, I search for pajamas. Retrieving light grey boy-shorts underwear and a matching tank top, I ungracefully change. Not caring about my hair and make-up, I turn to get under the covers. A giggle sneaks out of my mouth when I find Joe on the edge of the bed petting Sadie. I forgot he was in the room.

  Amused by the thought, I tease, “Were you just watching me get dressed?”

  “No,” he contends, looking at me. He jerks his head away immediately.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask, gulping down the rest of the water in the glass on the nightstand.

  Clearing his throat, he comments, “Nothing.”

  For some strange reason, I sit down on Joe’s lap. “Are you mad at me?”

  “No. God, no. Why would you think that?” he professes without hesitation. He brushes a few strands of hair off my shoulder.

  Shifting, I straddle him, watching his express as he keeps his head turned to the side. I slide closer to him, but he firmly places his hands on my hips. “You look like your mad at me,” I say with concern.

  With a genuine smile, he looks at me. “I’m not mad at you.”

  My intoxication and physical desire for him urges me and my lips are suddenly embracing his. Joe doesn’t fight and allows my lips and tongue to caress his. My hands slide down his shoulders to his top shirt button, and when the second button is loose, he pulls away.

  “We should get you to bed,” his gruff voice states.

  I slide under the covers towards the middle of the bed as Sadie curls up next to me. Joe shifts the covers and then sits down. I pout when I realize that he’s not joining me.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “You aren’t joining me?”

  “Not tonight,” he asserts.

  I pout more, but it doesn’t seem to phase him.

  Laughing, he kisses me on the forehead. “Goodnight, beautiful.”

  “Goodnight, Joe.”

  Twenty Three

  As I attempt to lift my heavy eyelids, I discover a hazy darkness surrounding me. Blinking slowly several times, my half-opened eyes won’t focus to give me any clear indication of what’s around me and where the blurry, flashing lights above are coming from. My body feels heavy. Still unable to open my eyes all the way, I perceive that I’m laying down somewhere. A cool dampness near my left cheek reveals itself as a slight gust of air brushes past my face. Sliding my right arm up the side of my body like a snake, my fingers creep to my lips. Drool — or, at least I hope so.

  Two large and oddly shaped figures materialize in front of me. They are so close, only a foot or two away. Voices suddenly emanate from the now more defined silhouettes. Their speech sounds muffled and trails off into the distance even as I try to concentrate on their words. Who are they? What are they saying? Why can’t I understand them? One of the voices almost sounds feminine.

  Another indistinguishable sound gradually becomes more apparent as it grows louder and the ringing in my ears subsides. It’s the engine of a car. My brain finally starts to put the fuzzy pieces of evidence together. I must have fallen asleep in the back seat. A familiar smell creeps into my nose that reassures me — my mother’s perfume. When the one figure turns to look in my direction, I see Maggie staring back at me.

  “Maggie?” my throat squeezes out in a raw, breathy, hoarse tone.

  “Wake up, Emma.” Her voice replies in a low sluggish tone.

  What is she talking about? I am awake.

  A sudden rush of nervousness enters my belly. The car feels like it’s flying down the road like a rocket ship as the speed of the flashing lights zooming above my head all blur into one.

  “Maggie,” I shout, but not a single sound escapes my mouth this time.

  “Wake up, Emma,” she repeats, this time with a deeper tone.

  Confused, I try again. “Maggie!”

  She doesn’t hear me. I don’t hear me.

  “Emma, wake up,” the voice commands, getting louder.

  A single, bright white light races towards us, growing larger by the second. Maggie turns her head towards me smiling, but her face is contorted. What’s wrong with her face? Why doesn’t she hear me? How does she not see the light?

  Again, with all my might. “Maggie . . .!” my voice trails in my head like a deafening siren, stabbing my ears like a knife.

  Time stops in this very moment. I can see everything with sheer clarity as I stare in horror into Maggie’s eyes. I can’t move. My mouth is left open, still screaming without a sound. I can’t hear anything besides a piercing ring that echoes in my brain.

  My body lurches backward. “Wake up, Emma!” the voice beckons.

  Gasping for air, my eyes fly open to darkness. Sadie is frantic on the bed and there is another body with us.

  “Emma?”

  My gaze turns in the direction of the husky sound and finds Joe.

  “Emma, it’s okay. It was just a dream.”

  Instinctually, I crawl onto his lap and wrap my arms around his neck. “Please don’t tell Jared,” I beg. “Please don’t tell him.”

  Burying his face into my neck, he consoles, “No one will know.”

  As my nerves settle, my heart rate returns to a more natural pace. I relax my grip on his neck, but stay sitting on his lap. My fingers play with the edge of Joe’s shirt as he tenderly wipes a couple of tears and kisses my cheeks. I consider a request before looking at him.

  “Will you stay with me?”

  “Of course, beautiful,” he assures.

  The immediate need to pee arises, forcing me to stagger to the bathroom, leaving Joe sitting on the bed with Sadie. When I return from the bathroom, Joe immediately picks me up, pulls down the covers, and slides us both into the bed. I lay on my back scratching Sadie’s head that is now resting on my belly. Joe joins his hand with mine to comfort her and me. He gingerly kisses my temple twice. The sturdiness and heat of his body soothes the pain, beckoning sleep to fall up me quickly.

  Twenty Four

  The sound of sniffing in my ear wakes me from a hazy slumber. Avoiding Sadie, I curl into Joe’s body and nuzzle into his neck. I’m not freaked out by his presence in the bed, but I slide my hand over our bodies to make sure we’re fully clothed. I’m not sure how he ended up here with me.

  “Good morning, beautiful,” he hums. “What are you doing?”

  My hand freezes half way down the side of his body and rests on his hip. “Good morning,” I
return hoarsely. “Checking to see if we’re naked.”

  “Why would we be naked?”

  “I don’t know. How did you end up in my bed?”

  I wrack my brain trying to figure out what happened last night. I vaguely recollect asking him to stay.

  “You don’t remember?” he teases.

  “Kind of,” I affirm.

  “What do you remember?”

  “Umm . . . I’m not sure.”

  My mouth is dry, my head is fuzzy, and I’m hoping that the image of Henry down on one knee isn’t real.

  “How are you feeling?” he searches.

  “I feel fine. A little thirsty.”

  He hands me a glass of water from the nightstand and I gulp it down.

  “You don’t feel hungover?” his voice sounds shocked.

  “Why would I be hung . . . ohh . . .” I begin to remember. “He did propose. Shit.”

  The memories are flooding back into my brain including the nightmare.

  “How are you not hungover? I’ve never seen you drink that much,” he admits with some concern.

  The dispute with Jared over taking the pills comes to mind. “The bottle,” I gesture. “One of the many benefits of activated charcoal.”

  “I’ll have to remember that,” he comments.

  Wincing at not remembering much after Henry proposing until now, I question, “Did I do anything stupid while I was drinking?

  “You did a lot of things,” he muses.

  “Care to fill me in?”

  I regret losing control over myself the way I did.

  “Well . . .” he begins. “We didn’t have sex, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

  Concerned, I check, “Did I have sex with anyone?”

  “No,” he confirms with a laugh.

  I breathe a sigh of relief.

  “You really don’t remember.”

  “Bits and pieces, but I’m good not knowing anymore after finding out that I didn’t have sex with anyone,” I admit sheepishly.

  “You hit on me,” he announces.

  My eyes widen as he laughs.

  “And, you kissed me,” he states.

  “I may have hit on you, but I would remember kissing you,” I argue.

  “You were disappointed when I stopped the first kiss,” he mentions with a grin.

  “Now I know you’re lying. You’re the one always trying to kiss me,” I contend.

  “Yes, but I do have morals when it comes to kissing a woman who avoids kissing me when she’s sober and plants several on me when she’s as drunk as you were last night,” he replies.

  “I wasn’t that drunk.”

  I know I was, but I’m trying to downplay it.

  “You were drunk enough not to remember.”

  “Did anyone else see us kiss?”

  “No.”

  “Then, I didn’t kiss you and you have no proof,” I declare.

  He laughs, curling into me. “Deny it all you want, beautiful. I was sober and I know what happened.”

  I play with Sadie as Joe snuggles into me. Despite my sexual desire for him, my rules must not be broken. Fear of what could or may happen are just not an option, not after last night. I’ve got to be more careful.

  My brain plays over all of the details that I can remember from yesterday. There are still too many foggy pieces. I don’t trust that Joe will give me honest answers, or, he just might give me truthful answers that I don’t want to hear. I’m not sure what to think.

  “I like this,” he mentions.

  “What?” I say confused by his statement since my attention has been elsewhere.

  “Snuggling with you,” he admits. “Can we do this every night?”

  “No,” I object.

  As much as I enjoy snuggling with him, this cannot become a regular habit. I’ve been rationalizing it like I’m snuggling with Jared or Nathan, but that’s not holding up well at all.

  “Why not?”

  “Because . . . I have rules and snuggling will just lead you on,” I protest.

  “Is snuggling one of your rules?”

  “I thought you had sources who told you my rules,” I sarcastically comment.

  “I just wanted to see if you added any new ones,” he teases.

  His statement doesn’t reveal whether or not he knows them.

  “Why?”

  “Because, if snuggling and kissing aren’t on the list, then you shouldn’t have a challenge doing either with me.

  “They’re definitely going on the list,” I goad.

  Without warning, Joe grabs my face and plants a deep, passionate kiss on my lips. I mildly protest as I secretly enjoy it. Joe breaks for a breath, giving me enough time to shift my head and stare at him in astonishment.

  “What was that?” I search.

  “Figured I should at least get one in if I might have to work extra hard to get them back off the list.”

  “I told you . . . just friends,” I demand.

  I’m secretly flattered by his bold move and chide myself for the dirty thoughts stirring inside.

  “I would believe you, except the kiss you gave me last night says otherwise,” he announces.

  Sadie presses herself between us, indicating that she’s getting restless and hungry. I’m able to slip out of the bed on the other side before venturing into the kitchenette to prep Sadie’s food. Joe follows us and has trouble making eye contact. Looking down, I know why with my tiny pajamas. After gulping down some clay, I rinse out the glasses while Joe nuzzles into my neck.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Sneaking in every opportunity I can,” he explains.

  It takes all the control I have not to give in.

  “I told you we can only be friends.”

  “The kiss you gave me last night suggested you want to be more than friends.” Joe leans towards me like he’s about to kiss me.

  Pulling my head back, I state, “You mean the kiss you stopped last night?”

  For the first time, Joe is rendered speechless.

  “I need to take Sadie out.”

  Joe and I shower and change, separately of course, and then take Sadie out for a walk on the beach by six-thirty. Except for the hotel staff and a few locals, the resort and beach are empty. Everyone must still be sleeping.

  By about seven, the three of us go to eat breakfast in one of the hotel restaurants. We relax in the patio dining area in the shade where there is only one other table occupied by guests, an elderly couple, who on their way out, stop to tell us that we make a lovely couple. The husband notices the lack of a ring on my finger and lectures Joe about sealing the deal when it comes to love. Yes, he uses the word love. I inform the gentleman that we are just friends and explain my lack of interest. He teases Joe that he must be doing something wrong if I’m not interested and he adds that he and his wife were friends before they got married and remain best friends. They’ve been happy for over forty years.

  Back at our suite, I lounge in the sun while reading a book. Joe lays on the same couch in the opposite direction causing our legs to overlap. Sadie lays on the cool tile to my right and is close enough for my dropped arm to scratch her side.

  Some time later, I wake in my room with Sadie on my left and Joe on my right. I must have fallen asleep in the sun and he brought me in. While scratching Sadie behind the ears, I study Joe’s sleeping body. His right leg is draped over mine with his right hand cupping my waist just under the ridge of my shirt and his face is buried in the crook of my neck. It’s much easier to snuggle with Joe when he’s sleeping. There’s a sense of innocence to him when he’s resting.

  I slip quietly out of the bed without disturbing Joe to use the restroom. Voices in the living room area catch my attention and I check to see who’s awake.

  “Good morning, sweetie,” Jimmy sings.

  “Good morning, sexy,” Allen adds.

  “Good morning.” I smile sitting down. “Do we know if anyone else is up?”

 
; “Nope,” Jimmy confirms. “You hungry? We ordered plenty.”

  “I’m good, thanks. I ate around seven.”

  “You are an early bird, just like Joe,” Jimmy comments taking a bite of bacon. “Where is he?”

  “Asleep, I think.”

  With a wicked grin, he harasses, “Did you have anything to do with the fact that he’s sleeping?”

  “What? No. We took Sadie out on the beach, had breakfast, and were reading out on the patio for a while,” I explain calmly. “I’m going to get my phone and text Jared to see if anyone is awake upstairs.”

  “Wake Joe up before you come back, please,” Jimmy directs. “I want to spend as much time as possible with my brother. He hasn’t been home much,” he discloses.

  “You two are really close, huh?” I state more than question.

  “Yes, we are,” he confirms.

  There’s no direct line of sight from where Jimmy and Allen are sitting to my room, so I’m in the clear with needing to pretend to go to Joe’s room to wake him up. I grab my phone out of my purse that sits on the dresser before heading over to Joe. He’s in the same position that I left him and he looks so peaceful that I don’t want to disturb him. How should I wake him? Will he wake easily?

  I lightly run my hand from his should to his elbow several times and he wakes immediately.

  “Hey, beautiful.”

  “Hey. I’m sorry to wake you.”

  Sitting up, he slides closer to me. “It’s okay. How long have I been sleeping.”

  “Not long since I got up. Jimmy asked me to wake you. Says he wants to spend more time with his little brother,” I explain.

  He smiles at his brother’s sentiment. “Is everyone up?”

  “Not sure. I came to get my phone.” I hold it up for him to see.

  “So you weren’t coming back to join me?” he pouts, moving closer.

  “Joe.”

  “I know, just friends . . . for now.” He delivers a quick kiss to my cheek, but doesn’t pull away.

  Not wanting to argue, I shake my head as I stand up, giving myself distance. He pulls me in for a hug before following me out to the living room.

  Thirty minutes later, the eight of us and Sadie are driving to embark on an hour drive to the Northern East Coast of Maui to hike. The lengthy car ride to the national park is a little unnerving, but the breathtaking views make up for some of the agitation. We stop at one of the local shops for a few snacks and extra water to take with us. We hike on dirt, rock and wood paths and over a few bridges through a bamboo tropical forest. By the second serene waterfall, we decide to take a break and swim. Sadie jumps in and out of the water swimming with Maggie, Jimmy, Nathan and Allen, as Joe, Jared, Henry and I, the daredevils of our group, climb up the edge of the waterfall to jump in.