Just Breathe Series (Trilogy Box Set)

by Martha Sweeney

  “There’s nothing to talk about,” I reply, keeping my voice as low as I can while expressing my discomfort. My hand snatches the boot from him and I get it on.

  “Emma,” Joe calls, pulling me toward him by my upper arm.

  My head turns away, not wanting and unable to look him in the eye.

  “Please, Emma,” Joe begs.

  With all the strength I can gather, I repeat, “I need to go.” I slip out from his grasp and exit his home. Pressing the elevator door repeatedly as my leg shakes impatiently.

  “Emma,” Joe calls when my finger presses the button a second time. He’s standing right behind me with one of his hands on my hip. “Emma, come back inside so we can talk about this.”

  “There’s nothing to talk about,” I reply, irritated that the elevator has yet to arrive.

  “There’s a lot to talk about,” he presents, moving to my left and into my line of sight. “I understand why you’re freaking out.”

  My gaze darts to him, but words fail to form in my brain for my mouth to speak. He wants more, he wants a relationship and this is the final rule to my list that hasn’t been broken — that can’t be broken.

  “Please,” Joe begs, reaching for my face.

  I yank away from his hand and spring inside the elevator before the doors are all the way open. Joe follows me, placing himself between me and the door. My purse drops to the floor when Joe’s body is pressed against mine, holding me firmly against the wall as our mouths dance together. It takes several heated kisses for my brain to gain control and turn my head to the side and for my hands to let go of him.

  “Emma,” Joe calls sweetly.

  “There’s nothing to talk about,” I return calmly and probably with a bit of coldness. “You want more and I don’t.”

  “No,” he answers. “Okay, yes. I want more, but . . . .” Joe stops mid-sentence.

  I watch him careful, expecting him to finish, but he doesn’t. I’m torn between wanting to know what he was going to say and not wanting to know.

  After what feels like a long time of us just standing and staring at each other, I prompt, “And . . . ?”

  “And,” he huffs. “I think, even though you’re scared, that you want more too.”

  My lungs cease to move as my brain and body process his words. Unable to speak as I start to feel lightheaded, my head shakes in opposition. Joe leans closer, cautiously brushing his lips on mine. My nose sucks in a large breath of air when his tongue reaches in. My body abandon’s my brain, wrapping my arms around his neck, needing to feel his body. Joe spins us and suddenly the door opens. I let go, expecting to see the guards in the lobby. He tries to guide me out the door by my arm, but just as I’m at the edge, my hand snaps back — I press the button that makes the doors close, giving me enough time to get away.

  The elevator opens to the lobby and I rush past the guards at the desk, heading for the exit. Another gentleman holds the door for me and I put on my jacket once the steps to the street are at my feet. Taylor is waiting at the back right door of the car — he knew I was coming when I texted after getting away from Joe. Taylor steps to the side, opening the door to let me in.

  “Emma,” Joe calls behind me.

  I stop, not believing he’s here. Turning, I find Joe standing within inches of me, distress consuming his face. His breath is easily noticed in the cold, night air as he stands in front of me wearing nothing other than a shirt, jeans and shoes. I can feel his body tremble from the winter chill, but the heat radiating from him feels as if we’re in tropical weather.

  “Emma, please.” His tone matches the strong emotion on his face.

  “Goodnight, Joe,” I bid with my voice cracking.

  It takes Joe several long seconds to releases me. The appearance of disappointment and defeat emerge on his face. Unable to cope with him and this situation, I look away. We stand silently for several moments before my body willingly listens to my brain, ushering me into the car.

  One Hundred One

  The next few days I spend my time working on business tasks unless I’m out sightseeing with my family. There isn’t really anything for me to do with Raven Media, in fact, since the change of direction with the company, I have more free time than I anticipated. I’m seriously considering starting or investing in another company to fill up my days. Now I understand why Joe has so much free time being not just the boss, but the owner.

  A business is truly successful when the owner doesn’t have to work and can walk away for an extended vacation and come back to it still operating, and when operating well, makes even more money. I’m going to need to ask Mrs. Covelli how she spends her time if she doesn’t need to pay attention to most or any of the daily details of the business and is only updated on a quarterly basis by her staff. How can she live? Well, I guess she does live — living more than most people.

  This afternoon, Maggie, Henry, Jared, Nathan and I take Jade to see The Lion King on Broadway. Christmas is in two days and getting Jade out of the rental allows Kim and Peter to finish wrapping her gifts. When we get our tickets at the box office, I notice that Henry is holding an extra one. I don’t inquire as to who’s ticket it is — there’s only one person missing from our usual group outings.

  “Joe!” Jade shouts excitedly.

  “Hello, princess,” he says warmly.

  I do my best to act natural when Joe and I greet each other, but there’s definitely some tension. He wants to talk to me — I’ve been ignoring his texts and calls since we last saw each other a few days ago. Seeing the pain in his eyes makes this all the more uncomfortable — I don’t want him to feel this way. His scent is distracting when he leans in to hug me, enticing the kitten to play. There’s a funny feeling in my gut that I can’t shake each time we glance at each other. Why does he have to make this so complicated?

  Though Jade has her own seat, she has trouble seeing the stage, so I encourage her to sit on my lap.

  “Joe,” Jade calls, tapping where she was just sitting. “You can move over. I’m going to sit with Emma.”

  With a sweet smile, Joe nods and slides over. Neither of us say anything, as Joe relocates.

  Jade continues to talk to Joe, Jared and me while we wait for the lights to dim. As the play is about to start, Jade shifts back on my legs. My hands hold her thighs to keep her secure for if she moves at any point. The touch of a warm, larger hand catches my attention and I move to see what’s going on. I find that Jade has taken Joe’s hand and rested it on top of mine followed by hers. Our hands remain in the same location during the rest of the first act.

  When the show is over, we stop at a restaurant for dinner and then walk the rest of the way back to the building where we’re staying, stopping at several displays for Jade to see the Christmas decorations or lights. We make our way past the ice rink in Central Park and by the time we’re almost back, Jade has fallen asleep on my shoulder.

  Joe follows us upstairs and I immediately take Jade into her room where Jet and Rey are already sleeping. Kim and Peter offer to take her, but I refuse, happy to tuck Jade in. Jade wakes long enough to assist with getting her into her pajamas and for me to read her a story.

  “You’ll be a great mom,” Kim whispers, standing in the doorway.

  “How long have you been standing there?” I ask, carefully getting up off the bed.

  “Long enough,” she says with a smile.

  “You know I don’t plan on having kids,” I remind.

  “Doesn’t matter what you plan, Emma,” Kim returns. “Life always finds a way.”

  “Kim?” I say, wanting to change the subject slightly.

  “Yeah, Emma?”

  I peer down the hallway to make sure no one is close.

  “Are you pregnant?” she suddenly questions.

  “What? No! Why would you ask that?” I ask, shocked.

  “I just figured since you were . . . .”

  “No,” I cut her off. “God, no.”

  “Okay, sorry. What is i
t?”

  “I know you can only say so much, because of the whole patient-doctor confidentiality thing,” I nervously state. “But, I was just wondering what you could tell me about Maggie?”

  Kim smiles sweetly. “She’s good. Really.”

  “Really?” I say happy and relieved.

  “She bounced back quickly and really took heed to healing,” she shares. “Maggie and the baby are completely healthy and should be the whole way along.”

  Tears flow as a smile spreads across my face. “Thank you.”

  Kim steps in and hugs me. “You’re welcome.”

  Amy comes down the hall and adds herself to our hug, not saying a word. The three of us stay connected for several moments.

  “Everything okay?” Jared inquires from down the hall.

  “Yep,” Amy replies.

  Kim and Amy disappear leaving Jared and me to ourselves.

  “You okay, Kitten?” Jared checks, watching my eyes as he holds my face.

  “Yeah,” I chuckle, wiping away tears.

  “What’s going on?”

  “She was just verifying that Maggie’s good,” I say.

  “Of course she is,” he confirms.

  “No,” I giggle. “I mean about with the baby.”

  “Oh. You mean the baby’s healthy.”

  “Yes,” I confirm.

  “What did Kim say?” he asks eagerly.

  “That Maggie really focused on healing and that she and the baby are great,” I explain.

  Jared smiles more and hugs me. We stay connected for a few beats before returning to our friends and family for the rest of the night. I manage to sneak into my room early enough to avoid saying goodnight to Joe. The feeling that I need to talk to him stirs, but I don’t know what to say or where I would begin.

  My phone buzzes just before midnight, indicating that Joe is calling. My heart is torn about answering — should I?

  One Hundred Two

  I couldn’t bring myself to answer the phone when Joe called last night. I’m starting to think that avoiding him may be making it worse — for myself and probably him too. The holiday isn’t helping either. I’m not a big fan of any family holiday, and spending it back on the East Coast is extremely challenging.

  With today being Christmas Eve, everyone who is staying in the rental home with me is gone for the day until late afternoon. Maggie and her family went out for a day of adventure. Pop-Pop and Joanna are visiting Joanna’s son here in New York and Jared and Nathan are having a romantic day. Sadie and I are hanging out in my bedroom, too lazy to go out in the cold. I definitely do not miss the winter weather.

  When I get too hungry to put lunch off any longer, I make my way into the kitchen. With my sandwich and soup in hand, I curl up on the couch with Sadie and put on a movie — I’ve been reading all morning. Once I’m done eating, I leave the television on while I start preparing dinner for everyone.

  It isn’t until the evening time, as I’m getting ready for bed, that I finally text Joe back. He’s called and texted me at least two times a day since I left his place the last time I was there. The first message he’s written that I feel comfortable responding to is when he writes Merry Christmas. I write the same message, but nothing else.

  Christmas is a blur for me, but I do my best to be as cheerful as I can for the children. The next day, I head back to New Jersey alone and spend breakfast with the Brittany, Leslie, Martin and Celia. After a few hours with them, I make my way over to Mr. and Mrs. Nelson, wanting to see if I can make it into my parents’s house. My fingers trail over the keys the Nelsons gave me when I notice something odd about my keychain — there are two extra keys.

  I go over in my head what each key is for, including the two for my childhood home, but there are two that I don’t recognize. Wait a second! Joe thinks he can sneak them on and I won’t notice? How did he get them on my keychain?

  While spending time with Mr. and Mrs. Nelson, I’m able to laugh and recount some fun memories from my past with them, but I’m unable to make it inside my parents’ house. I don’t mention that I have been weighing pros and cons about going in, and thankfully, Mr. and Mrs. Nelson don’t bring up the topic while I’m visiting.

  On the way back to New York, I have Taylor stop off at a store and I get a small, padded envelope. I toss Joe’s keys in and seal it. Before returning to my family, Taylor drives me over to Joe’s. I sit outside in the car debating whether or not to call Anna to see if Joe is home or not. Instead of leaving it up to chance that he is home, I write Joe’s full name on the package and take it inside to the guards in the lobby.

  “Mr. Covelli is home, Ms. Peterson,” the older gentleman informs. “You can take this right up to him if you’d like.”

  “Thank you,” I reply. “But, that’s not necessary.”

  “Yes, Miss,” he answers sweetly.

  “Please make sure he gets this once I’ve left,” I request politely, handing him the package.

  “Sure thing, Ms. Peterson.”

  “Thank you,” I reply.

  “Have a Happy New Year, Ms. Peterson,” he says as I walk away from his desk.

  “You as well,” I return kindly.

  One Hundred Three

  A few days after Christmas, my friends and I are up in Connecticut for some skiing. The trip was planned before we left the West Coast. We rented a large log cabin for privacy and security measures with our bodyguards in a cabin across the street from us. Mid-morning, we get settled in the place and take a short stroll around the resort. By lunch, Jared, Nathan, Maggie, Henry, Jimmy, Allen, Joe and I are on the slopes. Most of us have never skied or snowboarded before, and with Maggie being pregnant, we all decide that we’ll have just as much fun acting like children by snow tubing. The eight of us spend several hours on the slopes. Sadie runs up and down the hill, but by the third time she gets to the top, she jumps on my lap right as I push off, riding down in the tube with me. She follows me up for another ride, but jumps out of my tube and into Joe’s when he’s a quarter of the way down the hill — I guess I wasn’t moving fast enough. Each time Jared, Nathan, Joe or I head down the hill when she makes it all the way to the top or half way, Sadie launches herself at us.

  At some point, we end up having a snowball fight. Sadie chases us around, trying to catch the balls before they hit someone or gets some of the leftover from when it sprays off of a person’s body. Everyone goes easy on Maggie with her being pregnant aside from the fact that Henry blocks her from being hit, taking the blows each time. I manage to sneak up on her and smash one on the back of her neck. Maggie returns the favor when I’m not looking as I’m balled over from laughter. When we each try to get the other a second time, we end up wrestling to the ground. Sadie bounces around us barking. As the guys start pegging Maggie and me as we play fight, Sadie starts to lick the snow off our faces.

  The sun starts to set, so everyone heads back to the cabin to change and go to dinner. We dine in the main resort restaurant, which is beautiful with a luxurious, rustic style. For as chilly as it is outside, the building is rather warm, most likely due to the giant wood burning fireplace that is in the middle of it.

  After dinner, we head to a local bar that is known for good drinks and live music. I continue to avoid Joe as much as I can by dancing with Maggie, Jared, Nathan, Jimmy and Allen. Sometime in the night, Maggie informs me that she and Henry will be heading back to the cabin early — Maggie’s always been horny, but that’s increased exponentially with her pregnancy.

  “I’ll go with you,” I reply, eager to keep my distance from Joe.

  The weirdness between us has grown and I’m not sure how to fix it. I don’t like us barely talking and I desperately miss his touch. As much as having the keys bothered me, not having them anymore is worse, especially when I see what returning them has done to Joe. He tries to hide it, but I can see the pain in his eyes whenever he looks at me, which forces me to look away in shame for causing him to feel that way.

  “Yo
u sure?” she checks oddly.

  “Yeah,” I confirm. “I’m tired and it would be good to get back to Sadie.”

  When we get to the table, Maggie informs Henry, “Emma’s coming with us.”

  “Cool,” he replies. “So is Joe.”

  Shit. There goes my plan.

  Joe holds the door for me to enter the SUV. When I’m halfway in, my gaze falls upon Maggie who’s getting in on the other side. She smiles at me and I can instantly tell what’s going through her mind by the look in her eye. Joe joins Henry in the front and Henry turns on the music, then propels the vehicle forward. Maggie takes my hand and I willingly accept it.

  A minute later, Maggie has her seatbelt undone and is on my lap facing me. She cups my face and stares in my eyes, waiting for me to agree. I can tell she needs this, needs me just as much as I do with her — I’m beyond horny, thanks to avoiding Joe for as long as I have.

  Not caring about Joe being present and Maggie and Henry agreeing to it, my lips lift to hers as my hands slide up her back. My fingers move across her entire body, squeezing her ass and massaging her breasts while our mouthes dance. My lips move to her neck and trail down to her breasts after she removes her shirt.

  “Honey,” she pants, calling to Henry.

  “Yes, sweetheart?” he answers.

  “Drive slow,” she instructs.

  It doesn’t take long for me to get Maggie’s pants off and her on her on her back across the seat. She keeps her bra on while I shift her panties to the side as my tongue sucks her clitoris. My fingers slide into her, teasing her with each stroke.

  “You better cum for her,” Henry directs.

  “I will,” she moans, rocking her hips more.

  A smile dances across my face at hearing the way they speak to each other with ease. My hand makes her cum twenty seconds later.

  Maggie springs to my lap quickly as I lick her juices off of my fingers. Her tongue swirls around with mine, desperate to taste as much as she can. When she leans backward, offering her mouth to Henry at a red light, I stick my fingers back insider her.