Just Breathe Series (Trilogy Box Set)

by Martha Sweeney

  “It’s a good thing you aren’t one of those women who likes a lot of nicknacks,” Joe states.

  “Why?” I laugh.

  “I’d make you clean them all yourself,” he chuckles.

  “You’re mean,” I reply.

  “Even if you were, it wouldn’t bother me,” he returns.

  “But, you just said . . . .”

  Cutting me off, he laughs, “I’m just teasing, beautiful.” His lips reach for mine.

  “You’re not getting off that easy,” I goad.

  “It’ll take more than a kiss from you to get me off, but it’s a start in the right direction,” he laughs.

  “Don’t start,” I direct. “You promised.”

  “I know. I know,” Joe affirms. “But, that doesn’t mean I can’t have a kiss or two.”

  “Only if you behave,” I challenge. “We’re not halfway done yet.”

  Joe crawls over the floor, deliberately trying to distract me with his mouth. “Where is the halfway point?”

  “The kitchen slash living room area,” I share. “Once we’re done here, we’ll take a break and eat.”

  “Do we have time for a distraction then?” he explores.

  “No,” I object. “But, if we keep moving at this rate, we just might finish before dinner . . . giving us more time tonight.”

  “Mmmmm,” Joe hums, kissing me. “That sounds good.”

  “Focus,” I direct. “Focus.”

  “I am focused,” Joe comments.

  “No, you’re not,” I laugh.

  “Yes, I am,” he counters, moving to my neck. “I’m focused on you.”

  “I meant cleaning, goof,” I remind.

  “Oh,” he says, flashing me his boyish grin. “My mistake.”

  “Riiiiiight,” I muse.

  “What?” Joe feigns.

  “Nothing,” I reply.

  We exchange a few smiles and laughs as we continue forward.

  Thirty minutes later, the office is finished and we’re in the kitchen making lunch by noon. The cleaning process is moving much faster with someone helping and I’m curious to see how quickly we get it done. As we eat, my phone rings.

  “Hey, Mags. What’s up?” I greet.

  “Hey, Em,” she replies. “I was just checking to see if you’re still coming tomorrow to help Mŭqīn and everyone with the food.”

  “Of course,” I return. “I haven’t missed it since we started. What makes you think I wouldn’t be there?”

  “Well, you know,” she answers.

  “No, I don’t,” I reply.

  “Well, I just figured you might have plans with Joe,” she states.

  “No. I’ll be there. Besides, Joe can go a day or two without me,” I comment.

  “What?” Joe questions playfully.

  “Oh, he’s there with you,” she says.

  “Yeah,” I confirm. “Just taking a break from cleaning.”

  “Wow,” Maggie exclaims. He’s helping you clean the apartment for the cleansing?”

  “Yeah. Why?” I check.

  “Henry made some work excuse and is hiding in the home office,” she mentions. “It’s not like we’d be doing the whole house by ourselves. We’ve got six maids to assist. Tell Joe I said hi.”

  “Maggie says hi,” I inform.

  “Hi, Maggie,” Joe replies with a mouthful of food.

  “Joe says hi,” I share. “Don’t take this the wrong way, Mags, but I honestly believe that Henry has never cleaned a single thing in his life.”

  “I know,” she huffs.

  Joe chuckles at my statement, nodding to confirm that my assumption is correct.

  “Let him know that he can come too tomorrow . . . if he wants to, that is,” Maggie mentions.

  “I doubt Joe would want to be stuck in the kitchen with all of us girls tomorrow,” I present.

  “What’s happening tomorrow?” Joe asks.

  I purposefully ignore him and continue with Maggie.

  “He doesn’t sound like he’d mind, besides, Jared would be there too,” she reminds.

  “Jared is one of the girls,” I state. “Joe would be out numbered.”

  “For what?” Joe asks, but I ignore his question.

  “Everyone knows about you and him,” Maggie announces.

  “Big surprise,” I comment.

  Maggie sighs. “I think Henry didn’t like not knowing, so he told his parents and then they told mine.”

  “Even more reason not to have Joe come tomorrow,” I declare.

  “What? Why?” Joe pries.

  I wave my hand at him like it’s nothing.

  “Emma? Are you mad that they’ve known before you got to tell them? Nǎinai and the whole family are excited and happy for you,” she shares.

  “No, I’m not mad,” I confess. “It’s just weird.”

  “What’s weird?” Joe asks, moving closer.

  “I understand, Emma. I do. I know this is new for you and all,” Maggie consoles.

  “Thanks,” I reply.

  “Well, he’s welcome either way. It might be easier for you with just us girls to start off before the New Year,” she suggests.

  “Maybe,” I answer.

  “Okay,” she returns politely. “Let me know. See you tomorrow.”

  “Sounds good,” I confirm. “See you.”

  “Love you,” Maggie says.

  “Love you,” I repeat, purposefully looking at the floor and then hang up.

  “What’s tomorrow?” Joe searches.

  “Nothing,” I say, taking another bite of my salad.

  “Emma?” Joe asks, pressing gently.

  “Nothing,” I repeat.

  Joe places his plate in the sink and then stands right next to me with his one hand on the back of my chair stool.

  “What?” I say, stuffing the last mouthful of food in. I shift to get up, but Joe blocks me.

  He pushes my plate to the side and brushes his fingers along my cheek as I finish chewing. “What’s tomorrow?” he asks, kissing my forehead.

  “Nothing,” I repeat.

  “Emma,” he says more sternly. “Either you can tell me, or I’ll find out from Henry.”

  “You don’t fight fair,” I complain.

  “You make it so I have to do it this way,” he states.

  “No, I don’t,” I challenge.

  “If you would just tell me, I wouldn’t have to ask Henry, or Maggie, or anyone else who will clue me in about tomorrow,” he presents.

  “Maybe it’s none of your business,” I counter. “Maybe it’s a secret and you’re ruining it.”

  Joe laughs at my comment. “I know you’re lying, which is why I’m asking.”

  “How do you know I’m lying?” I explore.

  “The terrified look on your face,” he presents.

  “I’m not terrified,” I rebut.

  “I’m not offended that you want to spend a day with the girls,” he mentions. “I’m just curious about what you have planned.”

  “Why? Are you going to suddenly show up or something?” I inquire.

  “No,” he laughs. “I just like the fact that we talk and communicate about everything that’s going on.”

  I’m not sure what look I have on my face when Joe’s expression softens and he chuckles.

  “Okay, mostly everything,” he clarifies.

  “What do we not talk about?” I ask, wanting to change the subject.

  “You’re emotions and thoughts about certain things,” he states calmly. “Remember the wedding pictures?!”

  Shit. He’s got me on that. I do try to hide it, but I guess he knows me a little better than I realize. Damn it.

  “I can usually gauge with you by your expressions,” he admits.

  “It’s just another tradition Maggie and her family do each year,” I huff. “Tomorrow the girls get together and prepare all of the food by hand. Nothing is store bought, it’s all made from scratch.”

  “Wow. Really?”

 
; “Yeah,” I confirm.

  “That’s probably why it all tasted really good,” he says with a smile. “I won’t tag along. I know Henry will probably be with his dad, Fŭqīn and the rest of the family and I can hang out with them.”

  “You’re not upset?” I question, not expecting his reaction.

  “Why would I be?” he says. “Like I said, I just like to know. I don’t want you to feel like you need to hide things from me, Emma.”

  “Okay,” my voice shakes.

  Joe leans down and kisses me. He shifts my seat, rotating my body to where I’m facing him and he parts my knees slightly so he can move closer. My hands grip his waist as our mouths continue to mold together.

  “Will you be tired by the end of the day tomorrow?” he searches with a smile.

  “Yes,” I say. “We’re in the kitchen from nine in the morning until about nine at night.”

  “I can keep Sadie with me if you’d like,” he offers.

  I shrug my shoulders. “I’ll see if the kids will be there. She’s usually good about keeping them distracted or out of trouble.”

  Joe nods. “So, what’s so scary about the idea if I did come?”

  “Nothing,” I answer sharply.

  Joe laughs. “Would I be invading girl time, making it hard for you ladies to chat?” he asks sweetly.

  “Probably,” I agree.

  “Will I see you in the evening?”

  “If you want to,” I comment. “I can text you when I’m on my way back.”

  “Do you want me to meet you here or do you want to go to my place?” he inspects.

  I shrug my shoulders.

  “We’ll play it by ear then,” he confirms, kissing me again.

  My head nods slightly as our mouths open, allowing our tongues to dance.

  The kitchen and the living room area take the longest to clean compared to all of the other rooms, but we’re done sooner than I would be if it was just me doing it alone. I remind Joe that we’ve gotten past the halfway point and he just smiles and kisses me before moving into the bedroom area. Once the bedroom is complete, we venture into my walk-in closet which is our second to last room for the day. I check my phone for the time when I change to the next song that is playing and am surprised to see that it’s only four forty-four in the evening.

  We get all of my clothes that are hanging and drape them over my bed. Then, we move all my shoes and the boxes that are piled on the upper shelf. I’m surprised when Joe doesn’t comment on how many clothes or shoes I have.

  “Where do you want this box, beautiful?” Joe asks, lifting the lid to check what’s in it.

  “No!” I shout, snatching it from his hand.

  “What?” he asks, confused by my reaction.

  “Nothing,” I say trying to get the lid back on. The round top gets stuck, forcing me to have to put the box on my bed to use both hands to close it.

  “What’s in there?” he asks, as I pull the lid higher than I want to to get it back on.

  “Nothing,” I reply nervously.

  “Emma?” Joe calls sweetly.

  I see the concern on his face as my hands work to smash the box together.

  “You’re going to break it,” he informs, glancing down.

  “No, I’m nnn . . .” I pause when I look down and see what he’s talking about.

  Joe walks behind me, surrounding me with his arms. He gently presses his lips to my shoulder. “Does it have something with regards to your parents in there?” he questions politely.

  My body freezes and it takes me several seconds to mutter, “Yes.”

  Joe holds me tighter while caressing my arms with his fingers. “Can I see it?”

  My head shakes.

  “Please, beautiful?”

  My head shakes again.

  “Please, let me in,” he coaxes. “I promise, you’re safe. It’s okay. I want to meet them. They’re a part of you.”

  I sniff back a tear. “It’s not just them in there.”

  “Who else is in there?” he requests.

  “Promise you won’t laugh,” I mumble.

  “Laugh? Why would I laugh?” he replies.

  “Just promise,” I demand gently.

  “I promise, I won’t laugh.” Joe kisses the side of my head.

  “I know you’ll look if I don’t show you, so I’d rather be here when you see inside,” I remark.

  “I wouldn’t snoop . . . not if it really meant that much to you,” he soothes.

  “I would snoop,” I admit, turning to face him.

  “I know,” he laughs. “Okay . . . maybe I would snoop too, but that’s only because I want to know more about you.”

  My mouth hooks to the right and then presses to his lips. “No laughing,” I remind.

  Joe nods his consent.

  I take the box and sit down on the floor. Sadie curls up next to me while Joe sits across from us on the other side of the box. I take two large deep breaths before removing the lid.

  Joe’s eyes widen with curiosity.

  The first item I pick up is the napkin from Halloween instructing me to find VIP sessanta nove which I later found out was from Joe. When I look up at him, he takes it from me, smiling from ear to ear. Next, I delicately pick up three dried roses, two white and one red, and the card that came with them. There’s still a faint aroma coming from the flowers.

  “Are these some of the ones from your birthday?” Joe asks giddy eyed.

  I smile and nod.

  He leans over the box, kissing me tenderly. He sits back down, allowing me to continue.

  Then, my fingers find the note Joe wrote and left me on my refrigerator the day we almost got caught by Maggie here at my apartment. If she didn’t stop by, I think Joe and I would have had sex for the first time. Joe laughs, but he quickly tries to subdue it when he finds me watching him.

  “I’m not laughing,” Joe reveals. “Okay. I’m laughing, but at the memory of that day.”

  His cheeriness is contagious and I can’t be mad. It was a funny day when you look back on it.

  A giggle escapes my mouth as I pick up the photo of Joe’s naked rear and Sadie laying on him from Oregon. I’m not sure why I printed the picture, but I’m glad I did. My hand darts to the floor, not wanting him to see it. Joe carefully pushes the box out of the way and moves closer, clearly determined to see what I’m hiding. I shake my head, but he nods in opposition.

  “Please,” he requests.

  “No,” I say, smirking.

  Joe’s mouth meets mine, seducing me into his steamy embrace. My hands lift to hold his face and a few seconds later he’s pulling away and I notice he has the photo.

  “Nice,” he remarks and then kisses me again.

  Joe shifts, sitting next to me while he takes out the next object which is an envelope. His eyes become watery when he sees that they’re all of the messages he wrote me when he tried to give me his keys. My hand lifts to his cheek to console him. Taking my wrist, Joe turns my hand and kisses my palm.

  Then, I find a few more pictures of my friends and me from a variety of times throughout the years, handing each one to Joe as I take them out. I have a photo album, but certain special photos get placed in my memory box. There’s some from the past year that include him and Henry in them.

  “Is this you?” Joe asks a little confused.

  “Yes,” I confirm. “That’s not long after Jared and I first met.”

  “You look so different. I almost didn’t recognize you except for your eyes,” he states. “You look so sad.”

  “The night I left Jersey, I cut my hair and dyed it,” I reveal. “I didn’t want to take any chances of being recognized by the cops if they came looking for me.”

  Lastly, my heart frowns a little when the remaining pieces register in my brain. There are my parents’ passports and several photos I had taken from the house before I left New Jersey. I’ve been wanting to frame them, but I’ve never been able to bring myself to do it. I love them and miss the
m, but having their photos out for me to see on a regular basis always makes it challenging.

  “Why don’t you have any of these framed?” Joe inquires sweetly.

  “Because,” I sigh. “It’s too painful. Old habits and nightmares come around if I have them out. I don’t want to be that person anymore.”

  Joe wraps his arm around me and kisses my temple. “Embrace it, Emma. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. That moment may have defined you back then, but I see a completely different person right here, right now with me . . . and she’s strong, beautiful, intelligent and sexy as hell.”

  My heart melts at his words and I suddenly find myself on his lap, kissing him desperately. Joe cradles me, holds me, not like a child needing to be coddled, but like a woman who needs to be reassured and reminded of herself. I pull away, staring into his eyes, wanting to reveal how I feel about him in this moment, but my brain fails me — so the only way I know to expose myself to him is with my body.

  One Hundred Fourteen

  “Hello, sweetheart,” Nǎinai greets in Mandarin as I walk into the kitchen.

  “Nín hǎo,” I reply, kissing her cheek.

  “Nǐ chī le ma?” she continues.

  “Yes,” I answer in Mandarin. “Thank you.” I smile and repeat my greeting to everyone left in the kitchen; Maggie, Mŭqīn, Amy, Kim and Jade.

  Nǎinai ignores my comment about already having eaten and places a bowl in front of me when I sit down at the large kitchen table. I smile, bow and say, “Xiè xiè.”

  The ladies get settled around the kitchen table.

  “Where are Rey and Jet?” I ask Amy and Kim as I take my first bite.

  “Helping the men,” Amy confirms.

  “Is Jared coming?” Mŭqīn inquires.

  “No,” Maggie replies. “He’s with the guys today.”

  “What?” I ask in shock. “He’s always here.”

  “I know,” Maggie agrees. “I guess they really want it to be a guys day this year.”

  “Is Blue Eyes coming tomorrow?” Nǎinai asks, causing me to almost choke.

  “Same as last year,” Maggie shares happily.

  “Who’s Blue Eyes?” Jade asks innocently.