Just Breathe Series (Trilogy Box Set)

by Martha Sweeney

  Everyone gets settled on a seat of the boat.

  “I’d like to make a toast to my two sisters, Maggie and Emma,” Jared starts, getting a little choked up. “To Maggie, who’s always our ray of sunshine, reminding us to be happy and to love one another. To Emma, who is this family’s steady foundation like the Rock of Gibraltar, always keeping us together. And, to the two beautiful babies growing in their bellies . . . who will bring much more love and laughter to our family. I love you all.”

  “Cheers,” the guys say in unison as Maggie and I get choked up.

  Once the boat is docked, we stroll around the town’s shops and decide to have a snack.

  “Hey, beautiful,” Joe calls.

  “Yeah, babe,” I reply.

  “I’ll have what you have, so just get a larger size,” Joe comments.

  “Why?”

  “I’ll be right back,” he mentions.

  “Why? Where are you going?”

  Joe leans in and kisses my temple. “I need to pee.”

  I study Joe closely as I see an odd look on his face as his eyes connect with Jared’s. “Okay,” I agree. As Joe leaves, my attention turns to Jared.

  “What?” Jared asks innocently.

  “Nothing,” I say as I ponder what the two of them are up to.

  As I take my second bite of the extra large bowl of vanilla frozen yogurt topped with strawberries, blueberries, almonds and chocolate, Joe appears and sits down next to me on the wooden bench by the lake. I eye him, knowing he was gone longer than necessary for a restroom break.

  “What?” Joe asks, opening his mouth for me to give him a bite.

  “Nothing,” I reply.

  “Just say it, beautiful,” Joe directs after he swallows the large mouthful I gave him.

  “You were gone awhile is all,” I comment as nonchalantly as I can.

  “You’re timing me when I use the bathroom now?” he questions, chuckling.

  “No,” I object. “I’m just saying you were gone for awhile.”

  The eight of us relax in the shade as we chat and eat our desserts. The guys decide to play with Sadie along the shoreline, tossing a stick for her into the water which she happily chases and retrieves. Maggie and I lounge on the blanket we set out on the sand, enjoying the late afternoon breeze. When Sadie tires and joins Maggie and me, the guys decide to have an impromptu football game using one of Sadie’s balls.

  “Excuse me, ladies?” a older woman calls, standing behind Maggie and me.

  “Yes?” we ask in unison.

  “I was told that one of you is a Ms. Emma Peterson,” she states.

  “That would be me,” I confirm.

  “My apologies. Where are my manners?” she says with a sweet smile. “My name is Leanne and these are for you.” Her hands reach forward, offering me the bouquet of pink peonies.

  “What?” I question on a breath out.

  “Awwww,” Maggie hums.

  “These are for you,” Leanne repeats. “That handsome, young gentleman over there asked me to bring them out to you once they were wrapped and ready.”

  I follow her finger that is pointing towards Joe. “Thank you,” I say, reaching to accept them.

  “You’re welcome, sweetheart,” Leanne replies. “I’m not sure what he wrote on the card, but it did take him a few minutes to figure it out . . . if he’s proposing, I hope you accept.” She smiles. “Have a lovely evening, ladies,” she says before disappearing around the bend of the path.

  “What does it say?” Maggie asks, practically screaming. “Did he propose?”

  My hands cradle the bouquet gently as I lift it to smell the sweetness that is emanating from the gorgeous flowers. An uncontrollable grin spreads across my face at the thought of Joe proposing, knowing what I would say.

  “Well?” Maggie questions, breaking my trance. She takes the bouquet, enjoying the flowers’ perfume as my fingers fumble with the envelope to read the card hidden inside.

  My heart pounds in my chest as my eyes read:

  I knew the day I met you that I loved you;

  and never could have imagined

  that I could love you more until today.

  From this day forward, I promise

  that I will always take care of our family.

  xoxo

  Joe

  Tears stream down my face as warmth spreads throughout my body.

  “What does it say?” Maggie’s voice echoes in my ears.

  In this very moment, all the pain I have ever felt in my life is non-existent and unimportant. Nothing else matters — it is only now and what I, what we, make of the future together that defines me, that defines us. I vow for me, for him, for our unborn child that from this day forward, I will not live in fear — that I will only live with love.

  I find my legs carrying me across the sand because my heart has told my body what to do before my brain gets a chance to counter. Not caring about their game and hearing them shout and look at me with confusion, I launch myself at Joe, wrapping my arms around him. Unable to form the words, my body squeezes him tight in hopes that he feels all of the raw emotions that are dancing inside of me.

  “Hey, beautiful,” Joe greets as he sucks in some air.

  “Get a room,” Jimmy heckles playfully as Joe and I make out.

  “Hey,” I return, pressing my lips to his again.

  “What happened?” someone asks.

  Voices chatter around us as I continue to ignore them.

  “I see you got the flowers,” he comments, brushing a tear away from my eye.

  “Yep,” I sigh.

  “I love you,” Joe says after kissing my temple.

  “I know.” I smile and take his hand in mine, still unable to form the words I want — I need to say. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome,” Joe replies, holding me close.

  One Hundred Thirty Three

  The rest of the long weekend with my friends and family is filled with love and laughter. I sleep a lot, I eat a lot and overall I feel great considering the worrying I did at first about how I thought Joe and our friends would react to finding out that I’m pregnant. Aside from Joe doting on me, Jared and Nathan have been doing it too. Nathan’s claiming that he now needs to higher staff to help with a baby and kids fashion line for Maggie and me — these babies are already spoiled by their uncles and they haven’t even met the world yet.

  The day after we return home, Joe and I visit Kim at her office.

  “You’re about two months pregnant,” Kim shares.

  “Really?” Joe asks excitedly.

  “Most likely a Valentine’s Day baby,” Kim adds with a widening smile.

  “Not funny,” I return with a smirk.

  “How is he or she a Valentine’s Day baby if Emma’s two months pregnant. That would make the baby due in . . . October or November,” Joe challenges.

  “No, I mean, you’re right,” Kim clarifies. “The baby won’t be due around Valentine’s Day. What I meant was that the baby was probably conceived on or around Valentine’s Day.”

  “Oh,” Joe replies. “Is there any way to tell exactly or as close to when?”

  “There is. I can do an initial ultrasound to see how far along you are,” Kim explains. “It’s up to you, but I recommend not having too many. We’ve discussed my professional and personal reasons as to why.”

  “When can we find out the sex?” Joe inquires.

  “Anytime after the baby is at least sixteen to twenty weeks old,” Kim shares. “When Emma starts to show like Maggie, you’re in that general timeframe to determine the sex. I’ll be monitoring her regularly and will be able to gauge when that time comes even without an ultrasound.”

  Joe looks to me and I can see the questions piling up in his eyes.

  “What would you like to do, Emma?” Kim asks.

  “I like the idea of waiting,” I say. “What do you think, Joe?”

  “That’s fine with me,” he comments. “If Kim can get the general
results of your health from just the blood test and whatever else that isn’t invasive, I’m in full support, beautiful.”

  “I’ll give you the names of the midwives and doulas that I’ve used and recommend to my clients. See which one’s personality fits yours,” Kim says, looking to both Joe and me. “I’ll run the tests now and when I get back, we’ll go over some basics with regards to prenatal care. Have you purchased any books yet?”

  “No,” Joe says quickly. “I wouldn’t allow her before we saw you and we promised that we would take the research calmly, right Emma?”

  “Right,” I say with slight hesitation in my voice.

  “Emma?” Joe asks speculatively.

  “I’ll be right back,” Kim announces with a smile.

  I don’t reply to Joe’s inquiry.

  “Emma?” Joe presses sweetly.

  “Okay,” I huff. “I did a little research.”

  Joe lifts a quizzical brow. “A little?”

  “Okay,” I confess. “Maybe a little more than a little.”

  “When?” he searches. “We’ve been together ever since you told me.”

  I don’t say anything.

  “Emma?”

  “I didn’t buy any books or anything,” I assure. “I just looked some stuff up online.”

  “Like what?” Joe says more interested in hearing what I’ve read rather than scold me for breaking our agreement.

  “Like the difference between a doula and a midwife and some other little things,” I confess.

  “What is the difference between the two?” Joe asks.

  “They have different roles during the process,” I share. “And, one is more experienced and certified for the actual assistance of the delivery.” I make myself stop, not wanting to expose just how much I’ve been researching.

  “Okay,” Joe says, trying to keep up. “What else?”

  “Nothing,” I lie.

  “It’s okay,” Joe breathes. “I can take it.”

  “Nothing. I swear,” I lie again.

  Joe chuckles. “You and I both know you’ve read more than just that.”

  “And, you and I know that you’re starting to freak out,” I present.

  “I’m not freaking out,” Joe says with his voice going up in pitch.

  “Yes, you are,” I challenge. “And, we both can’t be freaking out about this. One of us can freak out, but not both of us. We can take turns freaking out, but we both can’t be freaking out at the same time.”

  “Why are you freaking out?” Joe asks, trying to remain composed.

  “Because you’re freaking out,” I state.

  “I’m not freaking out,” Joe lies.

  “Yes, you are,” I counter. “I see it in your eyes.” Tears begin to well as my heart races. “You can’t freak out, baby. Not right now. Please.”

  “Okay,” Joe says after a deep breath. “Okay. I’m good. Don’t cry. Please, beautiful. Don’t cry.”

  “I’m trying not to,” I admit, fighting the tears.

  “It’s okay,” Joe soothes. “We can do this. Just . . . next time you start looking stuff up, talk to me. Okay?”

  “O . . . kay,” I reply, trying to gain control over my emotions. “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t apologize, beautiful,” Joe consoles. “It’s a part of the process, right?”

  “It is,” Kim confirms, walking into the room.

  Joe and I don’t say anything as Kim closes the door.

  “Relax you two,” she says lovingly after staring at us for a moment. “She’s not going to pop the baby out tomorrow. You’ve got time to figure all this out. Okay?”

  Joe and I nod our understanding.

  On our way back to Pasadena, Joe asks, “Did you want to go to Vroman’s?”

  “I doubt that they’ll have any of the books Kim recommended, but we can look,” I reply.

  We stop off at Urth Cafe for some lunch and then walk over to Vroman’s Bookstore. Anna happily meets us with Sadie, eager to help get what we need. The three of us search the shelves and I’m surprised that we find a number of them and a few of the videos Kim recommended, Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth; The Business of Being Born, Husband-Coached Childbirth, Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way, The Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth, and Pregnancy, Childbirth and the Newborn. The rest of the books on our list we special order through Vroman’s website or another book website.

  The rest of the afternoon and evening, Joe and I are at my apartment, reading the books in my bedroom as Anna prepares us dinner. My attention bounces back and forth between what I read and looking it up online — there’s so much information.

  By ten at night, Joe takes the book I’m currently working on out of my hand.

  “Hey,” I complain.

  Joe doesn’t say anything as he slides across the bed closer to me. His lips softly press against my shoulder.

  “I wanted to . . . .”

  “Shh,” Joe hushes me as his mouth moves to mine.

  “Don’t shush me,” I whine, reaching across him to get my book back.

  Joe takes my hips and positions himself over me. “Shh,” he repeats. “It’s time for us to relax.”

  “But . . . .”

  “But, nothing.” His mouth takes mine in a demanding way. “We need a break from all of that information,” he insists, kissing me again. “Kim was right, we’ve got time . . . we can learn a little each day.”

  “But . . .” I breathe out, suddenly distracted by the use of his tongue on my neck and his hands caressing my ass.

  “Hmmm?” Joe searches with a soft chuckle.

  “Nothing,” I reply, giving into the sensations that are flooding my body.

  “Good,” Joe returns, guiding my tank top over my head.

  Once we’re completely naked, Joe makes his way between my legs with his mouth, providing a delicious orgasm quicker than I anticipate. Is he getting better or is that the hormones — or both? He doesn’t let me return the oral favor, even though I put up a good fight — I’m hungry to taste him. Joe distracts my desire with the use of his penis penetrating my sex. Our session escalates and I’m able to orgasm again rather quickly a second time. As he continues to thrust inside me, I feel wetter than usual and a little frustrated at the inability to cum as easily a third time.

  “Harder,” I beg, needing more solid penetration.

  Joe’s pace doesn’t change.

  “Harder,” I repeat, groaning frustration.

  “I don’t want to hurt the baby,” Joe reveals.

  “You won’t,” I remind.

  “How do you know?” he asks with concern, maintaining his stride.

  “I just do,” I answer.

  Joe shifts us, repositioning my leg to offer to help.

  “I need more,” I share. “Pound me.”

  Joe refuses — I see the trepidation in his face.

  “Bunny style?” I ask.

  Joe gives me a peculiar look along with a hint of a plea for me to not ask again.

  “Sex is good for not only us but the baby too,” I share.

  “That way feels demeaning,” he confesses.

  “How so?” I inspect.

  “I don’t know,” Joe replies, slowing his thrusts. “It just does.”

  “How else do you expect us to have sex when I’m huge and ready to pop?” I ask.

  “Is it safe to have sex that late in a pregnancy?” he checks with a little disbelief.

  “Yes,” I confirm. “It’s even encouraged to assist with getting the area ready for childbirth.”

  “How do you know that?” Joe searches, not that he doesn’t completely believe me.

  “In the book I was reading,” I share.

  “You sure?” he investigates.

  “If you don’t fuck me the way I need you to fuck me right now, Joseph,” I command. “Then, naming him Joe Jr. is out of the question.”

  Joe tilts his head to the side speculatively.

  “Yes,” I confirm. “
If he’s a he, I agree to naming him after you . . . I just didn’t want to tell you right away. But, if you don’t fucking fuck me right this very instant the way . . . .”

  Joe laces our fingers together and pumps his hips into my body, cutting me off.

  My head falls back, my eyes flutter and a gasp brushes past my lips.

  “Did I hurt . . . .”

  “Shut up,” I command. “Don’t stop.”

  Joe resumes his pace, quickening it gradually as I beg for more.

  “Fuuuuuuuck . . . yesssssss,” I moan as my body tingles. My fingers dig into the backs of his hands.

  Joe’s stride stays the course, never falter as my release builds inside.

  “Yes,” I pant. “Just . . . like . . . .”

  “Emma,” Joe groans into my neck.

  The rush permeates throughout my body with such force that I’m left unable to breathe for several seconds as I ride the wave of euphoria. “Jooooooe,” I cry out in unadulterated ecstasy.

  “Fuck, Emma,” Joe grunts. He continues to pulse into me well after I feel his release. As his pace slows, he says, “I love you.”

  My body shivers as I bask in the glow of the sensations coursing in and on my body. “Thank you,” I breathe out.

  Joe chuckles. “Thank you, beautiful.”

  One Hundred Thirty Four

  My body has fidgeted since our plane took flight to the East Coast, nervous about how we’re going to tell Joe’s parents about the baby and what their reaction will be. Joe tries to calm me, holding my hand, kissing me or keeping me close as we lounge on the couch. My leg bounces up and down, causing Sadie to switch sides and sit next to Joe or seeks out attention from Jimmy, Allen, Anna or any of our bodyguards. Redirecting my attention, Joe goes back and forth with me about any new baby information we’ve each learned as we read our books and look things up on our iPads — I purposefully share all the articles that mention the benefits of sex in all forms and positions, even sharing a few videos.

  I’d pass some time with re-establishing our membership to the mile high club, especially after all the sex talk, but there are just a few too many people on the plane for me. Joe seems even a little apprehensive despite his arousal, so to keep my hormones in check, I turn my attention to other areas of concern for childbirth and rearing; like water birthing at home and the lotus method of leaving the umbilical cord attached instead of cutting it off right away. I remember Kim and Amy both leaving the cords attached for up to about an hour at least and need to remember to ask them more about it when we get back.