Just Breathe Series (Trilogy Box Set)

by Martha Sweeney

  As I’m reviewing my father’s will and the files from my parents house, I find my first passport that was used when we went to Italy and Hawaii with Joe’s parents and a bunch of documents that Mr. Steinberger had given me at one of our meetings in his office. Joe enters his bedroom with a mug in each hand. “Here, beautiful,” he says, offering me one.

  “Thanks, babe,” I reply, taking the tea.

  “How’s it coming?”

  “Good,” I huff.

  “What’s wrong?” he checks a little nervously.

  “Nothing,” I say. “Sorry. It’s just there’s a bunch of stuff and this doesn’t include the files of the investments dad apparently had.”

  Joe chuckles.

  “What?”

  “It’s nothing,” he answers, taking a sip of his tea. “It’s just the way you said it . . . as if I’ve known your father and he’s been our father.”

  I smile at his statement.

  “That . . .” he continues, “And, this is the second night in a row that you haven’t bothered with any baby stuff.”

  “Shit,” I breathe out with a giggle.

  “What?”

  “I forgot,” I answer.

  “Forgot what?” Joe checks.

  “That I’m pregnant,” I reply.

  “That’s not a bad thing,” Joe comments, lowering himself to kiss my belly after he puts his mug down on the nightstand.

  “Yeah? How so?”

  “You’re not stressing yourself out about it,” he reveals. “And, you actually seem a bit more excited rather than nervous about the whole thing with your parents.”

  “True,” I agree.

  “You know you don’t have to decide on everything before we leave, right?” Joe reminds.

  “Yeah,” I confirm. “But, it’d be nice to have most of this finished.”

  “Enjoy the process, don’t rush it,” Joe suggests. “It’ll all turn out how it’s supposed to. There’s still time to take a trip or two back here for that and to visit our family.”

  I smile and nod as my attention drifts back to the papers in my hand.

  Joe continues to rest his head on my lap, rubbing my belly on occasion when he’s not petting or playing with Sadie.

  “Emma?” Joe calls.

  “Yeah?”

  “I was thinking . . .” he begins before pausing.

  “Uh-oh,” I muse.

  “Ha,” he breathes out. “You are paying attention to me.”

  “How can I not?” I return. “Your head is on my lap and you are deliberately doing things to make sure I’m paying attention to you one way or another.”

  Joe laughs. “True . . . anyway, I was thinking that maybe we should look into a house, you know, move into one before the baby is born.”

  “Yeah? Why?”

  “To give us more privacy . . . every member in my family plans on coming out to visit regularly,” Joe states carefully.

  “What’s wrong with that?”

  Joe gives me a funny look. “They won’t leave. Someone will always be around and there’s not enough space for all of us at the penthouse.”

  “There’s over four thousand square feet,” I remind.

  “Have you seen the size of my parents’ place in New York?” Joe questions sarcastically.

  “Uh, yeah.”

  “That was never enough room for them all, especially my brothers,” Joe states.

  “I think you’re exaggerating,” I muse.

  “No.”

  “Yes.”

  “With Joe Jr. or Sophia on the way, they plan on visiting more . . . all of them. And, there’s no way they all can fit in the penthouse. Not that I would let them all there because they’d drive us nuts,” he confesses. “And, I’m not willing to give up naked time or playtime.”

  “How would they drive us nuts?” I inquire.

  “We wouldn’t get any alone time,” Joe shares.

  “I think you’re exaggerating a little,” I tease. “We get plenty of alone time now and that’s with Jimmy and Allen here while we’re on the East Coast.”

  “We’ll need our own place here too,” Joe adds. “I doubt Jimmy and Allen will want to be woken up by a baby on a regular basis . . . and I don’t want to always have to worry about what I’m wearing.”

  “Why would you have to worry about what you wear?” I giggle.

  Joe offers me a funny glare.

  “Oh,” I say. “You mean you don’t want to have to wear clothes.”

  Joe’s like a toddler, not wanting to wear clothing most of the time when were relaxing around the house. He’ll put on his boxer briefs, shorts or sweats, but doesn’t bother with a shirt half the time.

  “Exactly,” he confirms, grinning. “Besides, it’s not the same.”

  “What’s not the same?”

  “When my brother’s are around, there’s no privacy,” Joe explains.

  “Are you scared that Tony will steal me away?” I check playfully.

  “No,” Joe replies. “I wouldn’t put it past him to try. But, no.”

  I laugh.

  “I grew up with them all, remember?” Joe reminds. “They’d do shit to mess with me and they’d all be there every day, all day. There would always be someone in the house.”

  “True,” I return. “But, even if we got a house, they’d do the same thing.”

  “Not if it’s a big enough house,” Joe answers. “Plus, we can restrict who gets access a lot easier . . . especially if we got a house big enough for us to have our own wing.”

  “Would that make you feel better?” I ask.

  “What?” Joe checks.

  “To get our own place with a little bit of a distance in the same town?”

  “Yes,” he confirms.

  “Okay.”

  “Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “You’re not messing with me, are you?” Joe investigates speculatively.

  “No. Why?” I giggle.

  “Just checking,” he answers. “You’re too calm about it.”

  “You know business stuff calms me,” I remind, drawing his attention back to the papers in my hand.

  “Do you think Jared and Nathan will have the wedding before or after Joe Jr. is born?” Joe asks, changing the subject.

  “What makes you think he’s a he?” I tease.

  Joe smiles, but doesn’t answer.

  “I’m not sure. Why?” I reply honestly.

  “Just curious,” he says.

  “Why?” I check speculatively.

  “Nothing,” Joe answers, feigning anything that might sound like he’s up to something.

  “Joseph?” I press.

  “I love you,” he replies with a grin.

  “Joseph?” I repeat.

  “I love you,” he repeats.

  I let out a sigh. “I love you too.”

  Joe raises himself so our heads are level. His lips lean in, requesting a kiss and I accept. Joe’s mouth lingers longer than I expect and I suddenly feel the papers in my left hand being tugged.

  “What are you doing?” I ask.

  “It’s time for a break,” Joe announces, shifting us both on the bed.

  “No,” I object with a smile.

  “Yes,” he presses sweetly.

  “Five more minutes,” I state.

  “No,” he counters, kissing me more.

  “Joseph,” I call.

  “Don’t argue with me, Emma,” Joe declares. “You won’t win.”

  “Really?” I laugh.

  “Really.” He pulls my hips down and yanks me closer to him on the bed as he hovers above me for a few more seconds, pushing the papers to the side so they aren’t in our way.

  “Do you need some attention?” I check.

  “Yes,” he verifies, kissing me more intensely, revealing his intent to get me naked.

  One Hundred Forty

  Five days later, we’re back in Pasadena with the Nelson’s and Joe’s parents at the penthouse. Anna and the
new staff are frantically trying to pack up all the things in my apartment. I divided things up for what needs to be put into storage that hasn't already gone with me to Joe’s place. While trying to get settled at Joe’s, we’re also having midwife and doula interviews, researching and learning more about the baby, and planning to do some house shopping at the same time. Thank God my businesses are self-sustaining, or else half of this would drive me crazy.

  Joe and I interview five different women for both a midwife and doula position and choose two ladies who have worked together a number of times and seem to mesh well as a team and with Joe and me. Brenda, our midwife, has delivered over thirty children successfully at home, with a third of them being water births. Gwen, our doula, has been coaching almost the same number of women with eight of hers being the same clients as Brenda’s.

  Joe and I discover that even though we’ve been reading and processing a lot, as well as retaining a good bit of information, there is still a bit more to learn and get comfortable with as things progress with the baby. I think that I’m going to need to look at this child as a business adventure in order to cope and handle things better for the time being.

  The penthouse is filled with every bedroom taken by guests. Mr. and Mrs. Nelson are in the first main guest bedroom as my apartment is cleaned and rearranged. They’ve elected to keep a few of their own things, bring over a few of my parents and are now working on the smaller items on their list. Mr. and Mrs. Covelli are in another guest room while John Jr. and Emily and the kids are in Jimmy’s and Allen’s room while they’re sleeping in the den.

  “Good news,” Mrs. Covelli announces as we sit down for dinner.

  “What?” Jimmy asks.

  “Your father and I have purchased the next door penthouse,” she shares.

  “What?” Joe says, almost choking on his wine.

  “Well,” she continues. “We don’t want to intrude each time we come out to visit you two and you’ll need more room as it gets closer to the baby arriving. You won’t want everyone here as the due date gets closer. And, well, we’re going to be here more often to visit. So, we’ve gotten our first California property next door.”

  Jimmy snickers under his breath.

  “Right next door?” Joe checks, wanting to clarify.

  “Yes,” Mr. Covelli verifies.

  “Well,” Jimmy comments. “At least they aren’t moving in here.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Mrs. Covelli questions.

  “Nothing, mother,” Jimmy states, back peddling. “I’m sure Joe and Emma are happy to have you and dad so close.”

  “Why wouldn’t they?” she presses.

  “We’re happy to have you in town for any occasion,” I comment, wanting to keep the peace. “Right, Joe?”

  Joe looks at me blankly. Since he doesn’t answer right away, I kick him under the table hard enough to illicit him to speak.

  “Yes,” Joe coughs. “We’re happy to have you right next door,” Joe says, slowing down on his last few words. He turns to Anna and without a word, she knows what he’s thinking and brings him a glass of scotch.

  “It’s not like the walls are thin,” Jimmy jokes.

  My cheeks tingle and I refrain from smiling at his insinuation.

  “Oh, stop it,” Mrs. Covelli commands. “There will be enough privacy. We may be old, but we’re not oblivious to things. Just because your father and I don’t comment on certain topics doesn’t mean we aren’t aware. We know they have sex. How else do you think Emma got pregnant?”

  I swear even the crickets down on the street stop chirping immediately following Mrs. Covelli’s statement.

  Jimmy and Allen do their best not to laugh. Joe’s face goes a little pale as he takes another gulp of scotch and I watch everyone avoid the topic as they remain quiet and resume eating.

  “The weather is quite lovely out here. Isn’t it, mom?” Emily says first, breaking the long silence.

  “It is,” Mrs. Covelli replies. “Emma, sweetheart, how’s the winter here?”

  “Mild,” I answer. “Not cold enough for snow, but up in the mountains there will be.”

  “Lovely,” she comments.

  “How are things coming with the paperwork for your father’s investments,” Mr. Covelli inquires.

  “Good,” I return. “They’ll take some time to process and decide what I want to do, but it’s less complicated than some of the other stuff that’s going on.”

  “What’s more complicated than business stuff?” Emily questions.

  “Well,” I begin and then clear my throat. “There’s all the stuff Joe and I are learning about the baby. Getting the apartment ready for Mr. and Mrs. Nelson, and Joe was thinking about us getting a house too before the baby arrives.”

  Emily giggles.

  “What’s so funny?” I search.

  “Usually, most people would complain that the business side of things is the more stressful of tasks,” she explains.

  “Business is second nature for Emma,” Joe comments. “Planning to move and getting ready for a baby isn’t.”

  “You’ve got a point there, son,” Mr. Covelli states.

  “As much planning as you’re doing, Emma,” Mrs. Nelson says. “You’ll never really be ready for the day he, or she, comes into this world.”

  “Exactly,” I confirm. “Business is easy. I know what to expect or how to solve the challenge. But this . . .” I say rubbing my belly, “. . . this is completely foreign, which is why taking care of as many things as I can, that I can control, will relax me.”

  “You have us,” Mrs. Covelli reminds, gesturing to everyone at the table. “We’re here to help.”

  “Yeah,” Jimmy adds. “Right next door too, just to be exact.”

  Everyone glares at Jimmy for his remark, but no one comments.

  After a few moments of silence, Lily inquires, “Does that make Emma my aunt now?”

  “Does what make her your aunt?” Emily questions.

  “That she’s having a baby,” Lily explains.

  “Emma having a baby won’t make her your aunt,” Emily shares.

  “No, but the fact that Uncle Joe here is the baby’s father practically makes her your aunt,” Jimmy comments.

  “Babe,” Allen quietly chides.

  “What? It’s the truth,” Jimmy defends.

  “When did they get married?” Lily asks, pouting. “I didn’t go to the wedding. Why didn’t I go, mommy?”

  “They aren’t married, sweetie,” Emily corrects.

  “Then, how is Emma having a baby?” Lily presses. “You told me only mommies and daddies who are married can have babies . . . and if they aren’t married . . . .”

  “Most mommies and daddies are married when they have a child or children,” John Jr. says, stepping in. “Some children can have two mommies or two daddies, remember?”

  “Yes,” Lily confirms. “But, mommy said that it takes a mommy and a daddy to make a baby. So, how does someone have two daddies or two mommies instead?”

  “Love,” Mrs. Covelli answers. “Love comes in all forms. And, there are many marriages where there is no love as well as many relationships where there is nothing but love, and no marriage.”

  “Do you love Emma, Uncle Joe?” Lily poses.

  Smiling and kissing the back of my hand, Joe replies, “Yes.”

  “Do you love Uncle Joe, Emma?” Lily asks.

  I know that Joe and I have said I love you to each other a number of times, some of it maybe in passing when someone may be in earshot, but I’ve never blatantly said it to him when everyone’s attention is on us. Butterflies dance in my belly at having to answer, but I know it must be revealed.

  “Yes,” I say quietly.

  “Then, why aren’t you married?” Lily presses.

  “Not everyone who is in love gets married,” Emily explains. “You love pizza and ice cream, right?”

  “Right,” confirms Lily.

  “You love your brother, your daddy, a
nd grandma and grandpa, right?” Emily continues.

  “Yes,” Lily agrees happily.

  “Well, even though you love things and people, doesn’t mean you just marry them all,” Emily comments. “It takes more than just your love, or your love from someone else, for them to get married.”

  “Like what?” Lily asks innocently.

  “A baby,” Jimmy jabs.

  I feel like all eyes are on me now, since all of them know that it didn’t turn out well when Joe asked me to marry him — and has yet to do it again. Embarrassment creeps into my veins, wishing I didn’t hesitate when he did ask.

  “Enough, Jimmy,” Joe scolds sternly. “That’s enough.”

  Complete silence slaps the room — no one was expecting Joe to speak up, let alone for the conversation to go where it has.

  “You can call me Aunt Emma, if you’d like,” I offer to Lily a few seconds later. “I wouldn’t mind that at all if you did.”

  Lily’s bright smile returns, but it’s not a full smile. Her gaze bounces between Joe and me a few times before saying, “I don’t. Mind, that is, Aunt Emma.”

  “Good,” I reply.

  An hour before our usual bedtime, Joe and I are already changed and lounging in his bed, wanting to have some time alone, and I’m not even talking about sex. Since the moment we’ve returned to Pasadena, there’s always someone in the house, restricting our ability to completely relax or have privacy unless we lock ourselves in his bedroom — our bedroom.

  “What did you think of the three houses we saw today?” Joe asks, lacing his fingers in and out of mine while my back rests against his chest.

  “They were okay,” I reply.

  “That’s what I was thinking,” Joe returns.

  “What?”

  “That they were okay,” Joe explains. “Not great, just okay.”

  I nod, happy to know we feel the same way. Even though this penthouse was never mine to begin with, it still feels more like home than the properties we saw. My mind drifts, thinking about how Joe and I are having a baby and are shopping for a house like we’re already married — but, we’re not. Disappointment sets in as a variety of thoughts run through my head as to why Joe hasn’t asked me to marry him. Does he not want to? Do I need to do something to make him know that I would say yes?

  We’ve purposefully disappeared each week away from his family and our friends when we’ve had too much of other people. Each place he takes me to, I wonder if and how he’d propose. I thought for sure he would have when we went back to Spago for dinner last — especially since we’ve had a lot of major things happen there; our first date and Valentine’s Day being the most significant.