Southern Curses

by Amy Boyles

  “The inside of the mess,” Amelia said matter-of-factly.

  Cordelia smacked her cousin on the arm. “That’s not what Pepper means. What she’s asking is, what was Eva doing in the trees to begin with?”

  “Oh,” Amelia said, eyes wide. “I guess she was fighting off whoever attacked her.”

  I moved around to the side of the bushes. “And where was she attacked from?”

  Cordelia followed. She pointed down the path. “If she’d been walking over there, the vampire could’ve grabbed her and pulled her into the trees.”

  I tapped my mouth. “Only we didn’t hear a struggle. We were watching for Princess and being super quiet.”

  “So if the vampire didn’t attack Eva and drag her into the bushes, then what happened?”

  I walked around, trying to get a sense of exactly that. “It seems to me that he might’ve attacked Eva on the path. She could’ve gotten away from him and ran into the bushes for cover.”

  I walked to the edge of the trees. “This is about the same place she came out of, just on the opposite side. It seems she might’ve thrown herself in here and charged through.”

  “It’s thick,” Amelia said.

  Cordelia paced to the left. “So maybe it was more like here that she went in.”

  “She was full of adrenaline,” I said, “so she could’ve broken through a tangle of kudzu no problem. I mean, maybe. If I was scared for my life, I could probably break a hole in even the thickest of kudzu.”

  I fished my phone from my purse and thumbed on the flashlight. The beam swept over the tangle of trees. “So it would seem to reckon that Eva had to break through somewhere.”

  “I don’t understand why you’re so concerned with it,” Amelia said. “Eva is safe and sound.”

  “I’m just curious.”

  “When there’s a bloodsucker around.”

  “They may have caught the bloodsucker,” Cordelia said. “If you want me to protect you, I will. Everything will be okay.”

  Amelia glared at her cousin. “I’m just fine, thank you. I was only wondering.”

  The light washed over the trees until I saw exactly what I was looking for—a break in the foliage. I climbed into it.

  “Oh heck no. There is no way in all of creation that I am climbing into that mess,” Amelia said. “There might be giant spiders inside waiting to suck on my body juices.”

  I have to admit, that made me pause. If there was something I hated more than most animals—and they’d grown on me—it was arachnids. I did not like spiders.

  Or camel crickets, actually.

  Or horse flies.

  Heck, I did not like the bug world at all.

  Except ladybugs. I liked them. Mostly. But one time one of those little suckers bit me. Yes, a freakin’ ladybug bit me. If you don’t believe it, look it up because I’m sure someone’s Googled that crap before.

  Mean little beasts.

  Anyway, I cut through the trees.

  “Why am I doing this?” Amelia said.

  I turned and flashed her a wide smile. “Because you love me and because we’re sweet tea witches. We stick together through thick and thin.”

  Cordelia joined me. “It’ll be more scary waiting by yourself than it will be to come with us.”

  Amelia threw her hands in the air. “Fine. Fine. I’ll come with y’all. But the first time I see even a hint of anything nasty, I’m running in the other direction.”

  “You and me both,” I said.

  We crept into the trees. Amelia and Cordelia fired up their phone lights. It was nearly as bright as daylight inside the copse of trees.

  I heard critters scatter as we crashed through the foliage.

  “I swear if something runs up my leg, I’m out,” Amelia said.

  I glanced down at the carpet of knotted kudzu at my feet. “Good thing we wore our boots. No telling how much of this is poison oak.”

  Amelia stopped. “You are not making this easier for me.”

  Cordelia grabbed her arm. “Come on. We’re almost through.”

  “I don’t even understand what we’re doing,” Amelia said.

  “Johnny Utah’s men checked an area where there weren’t any trees,” I said, sweeping the light. “Now why would they do that when Eva clearly fell from this small grove?”

  “Maybe she hit her head when she fell?” Amelia said. “Maybe she doesn’t remember. The woman was attacked, Pepper.”

  “I know,” I said quietly. “I just want to make sure there’s not something here that needs to be investigated.”

  We pushed on for a few more seconds. I had to admit, there was nothing but green all around us. It didn’t seem like anything was out of place or wrong. It was a grove of trees and kudzu. What had I really expected to find?

  We were nearly on the other side. “Well, I guess that was pointless.”

  Amelia screamed. I dropped my phone and scrambled to feel around the dense brush. When I did close my hand around it, I swept it to light my cousin.

  She pointed to the far right, the opposite direction from where we’d been walking. The beam hit a rock partially buried in vines. But right next to it lay what looked like a cream-colored leg. The leg traced up to a torso and then a head.

  Short platinum-blonde curls covered the crown of the dead woman. My eyes flared, and I nearly dropped the flashlight again when I realized who it was I was looking at.

  My lips trembled. “Eva.”

  “What happened to her?” Cordelia said.

  I stared at my cousins. “It’s exactly as she told us. She was attacked by a vampire. But the real Eva didn’t escape. In fact, she was murdered.”

  “And that means?” Amelia said.

  I closed my eyes. “That the real vampire is pretending to be Eva.”

  Cordelia gasped. “And Princess is with her.”

  TWENTY-ONE

  I dropped the phone from my ear. “Axel’s not answering,” I said.

  Amelia bit her bottom lip. “Cordelia?”

  She shook her head. “Garrick’s not answering either.”

  “At least we know where they both are,” I said.

  The sight of Eva’s dead and naked body filled me with the sort of rage I hadn’t known since the previous week when Rufus had tied my powers to his and made my life horrible for several days.

  A deep well of anger bubbled to the surface when I thought of poor Eva. She’d survived so much only to die at the hands of a crappy vampire.

  She’d deserved better.

  I ground my teeth. “You two return to the club and get Axel and Garrick here. Now.”

  Amelia shook her head. “No way are we leaving you here with a dead body.”

  I rolled my eyes. “It’s not as if she’s going anywhere. Besides, we don’t have time. We’ve got to save Princess. We need to get Garrick over there.”

  “He’s going to come here first,” Cordelia said.

  I cringed. She was right. Garrick would come here. Arnold masquerading as Eva would bite Princess and escape. I’d fail her. I’d promised to keep her safe and I’d let her be attacked by the one person I was supposed to protect her from.

  “We need a plan, and we needed it yesterday,” I said.

  Cordelia exhaled. “We get Princess. Go to the room, make up an excuse and get her back. Take her to Garrick and have him send officers over to arrest Eva, er, Arnold.”

  I shook my head. “Too suspicious. We’re putting Johnny in danger doing that.”

  “Then we go in guns blazing,” Amelia said. “We don’t have time to warn Garrick. We’ve got to save Princess. Well, what are we sweet tea witches doing? Let’s go save her.”

  “I agree,” Cordelia said.

  I shot her an appreciative look.

  We ran home and to grab our cast-iron skillets. Since we were pretty close to the house, it would be faster to grab them and ride over to the inn than it would be to set out on foot.

  I crashed through the front door. Betty sat in
her rocker, waiting up.

  “I hope y’all have a good excuse for coming home so late.”

  My eyes flared. “We do. Betty, I need a jar of that face mask.”

  She smirked. “Feeling it making you look younger already?”

  Cordelia laughed. “If you made Amelia look any younger, she’d be twelve.”

  Amelia fisted a hand to her hip. “That’s not funny.”

  Betty handed me a jar. “Thanks.”

  I ran into the kitchen, found a knife and added an extra ingredient. I hoped that all the stories I’d heard about vampires were true. Well, I knew they could walk around in daylight, but maybe some of the other tales were accurate.

  “We don’t have time to make a snack,” Amelia said.

  “I’m coming!”

  “What’s all this about?” Betty said.

  I finished what I was doing and threw the jar in my purse. I dashed into the living room. “We know who Arnold is. Betty, we need you to get on the horn and reach Garrick and Axel. Tell them we’ll be at the inn capturing a vampire for them.”

  Betty placed a finger on her nostril and exhaled. Sparks of magic flew from her nose and surrounded us. “It’s a spell of protection. You’ll need it.”

  I grabbed my skillet and opened the front door. “One more thing. Be sure to tell Officer Young that he can find Eva’s body in the trees lining the backside of the park.”

  “Eva?” Betty said, looking worried.

  “That’s the one.” I glanced at my cousins. “Come on.”

  I didn’t wait to see what Betty did. I hopped on the skillet and rose high over Magnolia Cove. Wind whipped my hair into a thick frenzy that would be a mess by the time I landed. I really needed to come up with a spell that would keep my hair silky while I traveled.

  We touched down outside the inn and stashed our skillets in the rack outside the building. It was sort of like a bike rack, but for riding skillets, brooms, whatever.

  I waited for my cousins to finish roping their rides and cinched my purse tightly over my chest. “Y’all ready?”

  Amelia grabbed my arm with a cold hand. “What’s the plan? Because I’m assuming you have a plan, but I don’t know what it is and I’m scared.”

  I smiled widely at her and Cordelia. “Okay. Here’s the plan.”

  “It’s pretty late,” Johnny said when he answered the door.

  The three of us floated in. “I know,” I said. “I’m so sorry about this, but we thought we’d help Eva and Princess do some girl bonding.”

  Johnny scrubbed the back of his hand over the scruff on his cheeks. It was thick and dark, jutting up to an inch or so below his eyes. Poor guy. Probably had to shave his whole body. That was the problem with being a werewolf, I suppose—hair, hair and more hair.

  Johnny stared at me, obviously perturbed.

  I shrugged innocently. “It’s still early and we brought face masks.”

  “Face masks?” he said, mouth gaping.

  Cordelia clamped his mouth shut. “It’s a girl thing. Trust us. They’re going to love it.”

  He thumbed toward a door. “They’re in there.”

  I shot my cousins a look that said we’re on and turned the knob. I entered to find Eva stroking Princess on the head. The sight sent a shudder straight down my back.

  “Hey, y’all,” I said, raising my purse high. “We brought face masks.”

  Eva as Arnold shot us a look full of daggers before recovering quickly. “Oh, well that sounds great, but we’re exhausted.”

  I unscrewed the cap. “This is bonding time. And don’t you love bonding time, Princess?”

  She fluttered up onto one of the drapes. “Yes, it’s my favorite. I love bonding. And Eva, you’ll love the face mask.”

  “That’s what I think, too,” I said, putting on my fakest, most excited voice. “I thought this would be the most awesome thing to do ever. We maybe do some face masks, then our nails. I mean, especially after what happened to Eva the other night, I figured you could use some real relaxation.”

  “I don’t know,” Eva said. “I’m pretty tired.”

  Cordelia grabbed Eva’s shoulders. “Oh, well I know you’ve got energy for this.”

  Amelia pulled up a chair, and Cordelia pushed Eva into it. “I’m so excited about this mask,” Amelia said. “You simply won’t believe what it’ll do to your skin.”

  Eva blinked like a doe-eyed ingenue in a black-and-white film. “Well, if you think it’ll be good.”

  “Girl,” I said, raising the jar. “This is going to be absolutely the best facial you’ve ever had in your life.”

  “I’m so excited,” Princess said. “I can’t wait to be able to have facials again. It’s been so long.”

  “It’ll probably be sooner than you think,” I murmured.

  Eva glanced up at me, trying to look all innocent. “What’d you say?”

  “Nothing,” I said, keeping a tight grip on her shoulder. “Okay, are you ready to experience the wonder of this?”

  Eva closed her eyes. “Sure.”

  I sneaked a glance at Cordelia and Amelia. They each gave a quick nod. I scooped out a glop of the goo. “Now this may sting a little. That’s normal. It will tingle and maybe burn, but that’s just the ingredients working to clean out those pores and make you beautiful. Well, more beautiful because Eva, you are lovely already.”

  Sweat sprinkled my brow. Nerves jumbled in my belly. If this didn’t work, I was dead. Well, if it worked right, it would do exactly what I wanted. But I might still be dead either way.

  “You ready?” I said to Eva.

  “I’m ready,” Amelia said.

  I shot her a scathing look.

  “What?” she said. “I love facials.”

  “This,” I said to Eva, “might just change your life.” I slapped the goop onto her cheek.

  “Hmm,” she said.

  “You feel the tingle?”

  “Mmm yeah, but it more than tingles.”

  I worked the cream in. “Trust me. It’ll keep tingling. Just breathe through it.”

  “I think she needs more,” Cordelia said. She scooped up a handful and slapped it on Eva’s other cheek. “There. Let’s really rub it in.”

  “Oh, but even more,” Amelia said. She threw some on Eva’s forehead. And in the end that’s what did it. I mean, you can’t chop up an entire head of garlic, mix it with a soothing face mask and expect it to do anything other than burn the skin off an evil vampire.

  Well, I guess you could, but you’d be so wrong you’d think Mississippi was on the other side of Texas—and I mean, not the right side.

  As I was saying, a face covered in garlic mashed potatoes would be enough to bring a grown woman to tears, much less a male vampire pretending to be a woman.

  So when Eva screamed bloody freakin’ murder Southern fried style, I wondered what had taken her so long.

  “What’s wrong?” Princess said, flying up into the air.

  “It burns,” Eva yelled. “Get it off.”

  I grabbed a rag that was lying nearby and swiped it across her cheek. I gasped when her flesh swiped away with the cream.

  “Oh my gosh,” Cordelia said. “It looks like your skin is coming off.”

  Then everything happened at once.

  Eva’s flesh peeled off her like a banana. Amelia grabbed a bottle of water and threw it on Eva. “This should help.”

  Eva just screamed more. Smoke rose from her skin as she continued to yell.

  She shifted and morphed. Eva grabbed a cloth and wiped the mask from her face, all the while her body changed. Her boobs vanished and so did her twenty-eight-inch waist. She went from a svelte gorgeous woman with legs up to her neck to an average-looking chubby man with receding black hair and a crooked nose. A man who was still missing a chunk of flesh from his cheek.

  Johnny Utah must’ve been asleep because it took him way longer to rush into the room than I expected. I mean, I expected he would’ve burst in on the first scream. The
fact that he waited so long made our jobs just a little bit easier.

  But anyway, Johnny appeared, gun in hand. He took one look at Eva—or Arnold—and screamed, firing his gun at the vampire.

  Arnold sprouted fangs and hissed.

  “Where’s Eva?” Johnny yelled. “What in the world is this ugly piece of crap in here? Somebody better tell me right now what happened to Eva!”

  “Dead,” Arnold spat. “And you will be too in just a moment.”

  Arnold leaped toward Johnny.

  The vampire would tear him apart. I knew that. Well, I mean, Johnny was a werewolf, but he wasn’t right now. He was human and vampires killed humans.

  Magic flared in me. I wanted Arnold back, away. He flew across the room. At the same time I wanted Johnny gone so I thought him off to the side. The werewolf mafia man hit the wall with a thump. I didn’t know if he was knocked out. I didn’t have time to look.

  That left me and my cousins facing down the vampire. “Ladies,” I said.

  “Move, Pepper,” came Garrick’s voice from behind me.

  I didn’t flinch. I jumped to the left in time to see a great big wooden stake sail through the air at shotgun speed and slam into Arnold. The vampire fell back. He wheezed out a breath and took one last look at Princess.

  “I did love you,” he said before he died.

  Fat chance of that, I thought.

  “Good,” Princess said. “Now will one of y’all free me from this stupid body?”

  As soon as the words left her mouth, a snap, crackle, pop filled the room. Magic flashed and flared, light poured from Princess and less than a minute later there stood the woman who had started this whole mess.

  Her brown wavy hair fell to her shoulders. She was tall, a little round in the hips, and utterly beautiful. She crossed to Arnold and took a long look at him.

  “Not one inch of fur on that body,” she said. “What a liar.”

  She glanced from him to her uncle, who was still slumped on the floor. Princess crossed to Johnny and grabbed him by the arms. “Uncle, are you okay?”

  He was a little woozy. I guess I’d whacked him pretty hard against the wall. Oops. Well, I was trying to save his life. I can’t always be nice when I’m trying to help people out.