by Thianna D
As his hand continued to descend, Elly clamped her lips together and tried to stay silent, but she didn’t last another five swats before she started to wail. “I’m sorry.”
“That just earned you another seventeen, little girl. Speak again, and I’ll get the brush. Use. Your. Board.”
This volley was more painful than the last, so Elly struggled to keep silent as she frantically endeavored to scribble in all capital letters between whacks, “I’M SORRY!”
He delivered three more swats and stopped. Her bottom throbbed painfully, but rather than stroke and reassure her as he usually did, Jerry helped her to her feet and eased her out of the bottoms of her pajamas as he spoke. “You deliberately sought to make me angry, Elly, and you succeeded.” Handing her the board, he grabbed her arm. “Come with me.”
Given little choice but to follow, she protectively covered her backside with the whiteboard as he marched her back to “her corner.”
He removed the board from her grasp, placed it within reach before her, and raised both her hands to rest on the top of her head. “Keep those naughty fingers there. No rubbing until I give permission. Understand?”
Tears flowed down her cheeks, but she nodded. This time only a non-verbal agreement would be permitted, any attempt to talk, even to call him ‘sir,’ would no doubt earn her another volley of spanks.
“Better. Nose to the corner. I expect you to remain in this position until I say you can move.”
The position in question thrust her bottom out, effectively putting it on display. He gave her aching hindquarters a light pat, which caused her to draw air between her teeth. She’d demanded he take action, and he had, but she expected aftercare would gain her time in the cuddle chair. Instead, she was ordered to stare at a wall without a moment’s comfort or reassurance. The realization of just how miserably her plan had failed brought several sobs to her throat. Sensing the heat of Jerry’s body even through her desolation, Elly realized he remained behind her, but he still refused to talk or touch her for several moments until he placed a wad of tissues into her hand.
“Go ahead and blow,” he ordered softly. “Then take a few deep breaths.”
She wiped her eyes and blew her nose, but her breathing came in shuddering gasps of distress. His palms rested at her waist.
“Easy, Elly. This is meant to be punishment, not torture. Now take some deep breaths, sweetie, and calm down.”
She gasped for breath, but it wasn’t until his hand began rubbing her back with gentle, reassuring strokes, that she was able to slow her crying at all. Normally, she experienced a sense of relief after one of Jerry’s spankings, but this time their unresolved issues made her feel worse. All the same, his comforting eased her troubled spirit despite the guilt she still harbored for pushing him so hard.
“Good,” he whispered. “Much Better. Deep breaths, brat. I’m here, and I don’t intend to go anywhere until you’re calmer.”
Unable to help herself, she turned from the corner and pressed against him, seeking his reassurance. Rather than scold her for breaking position, he obliged her by talking gently as he rubbed her back and shoulders. “Shh. You’re safe, sweetie, but I want you to think about what you did and what you hoped to gain. We’re not going to talk about Monday until Dr. Devon gives you permission to use your voice. I’ve told you that many times already. So, pushing and prodding me will only get you in trouble.” He hugged her close. “I love you, Elly, but I’m not always happy about the decisions you make. Nod if you understand.”
She nodded again. “Good,” he murmured, drawing her even closer.
Elly’s tears stopped flowing as she nestled her head against his chest and took comfort from his presence. When her gasps were reduced to small hitches, he gently pushed her back a few inches and ran a thumb beneath her eyes to wipe away her remaining tears. ‘Much better, but I still want you to stand in the corner and think about what you did.”
Elly slumped and groaned.
“Now, enough of that. Turn around, hands on your head and nose in the corner.”
With a few last sniffs, Elly did as ordered. Her bottom still throbbed with her heartbeat, and nothing was resolved, but after his comforting, she felt immeasurably better.
“Good girl. I won’t be long, but I want you to remain in position until I release you. Nod your agreement, please.”
She gave another nod.
“Perfect. You’re going to have an even larger set of lines to complete today, but this time I’m going to want your sentences to be an apology rather than a promise to do better. So, think what you’d like to say to me while I finish putting our breakfast together.”
* * * * *
Her nose stuck in the corner, and her backside throbbing, Elly considered her options. Okay, yes, she had forced his hand, but he was still shutting her out, which she thought was unfair. Except, he also believed she owed him an apology. But, for what? Pushing and prodding? Talking before she had permission? Elly sighed. Perhaps both.
She still hadn’t come up with a solution when he stepped up behind her and whispered in her ear. “Did you consider what I asked?”
At her nod, he said, “Okay, let’s get you back in your pajama bottoms now, so you’ll have a little more cushioning when you sit down.” Placing a hand on his shoulder for balance, Elly gave out a little hiss of discomfort when the cool flannel settled over her warm, sore backside, and she considered the man before her. She didn’t doubt he loved her, or that she loved him, but she still wasn’t comfortable giving up all her control to him. Not that she thought he would abuse her trust, but she’d been burned once, so she was twice shy.
Back straight, he asked, “Did you come up with an apology, yet?”
Shaking her head, she reviewed what he’d said, then grabbing her board she wrote, “I’m sorry I broke the rule about talking, and pushed you into giving me a spanking.”
He nodded. “Good. I think that will do very nicely. I’ll want you to write it one thousand times.”
Elly groaned, pouted and slumped to show her dismay.
“Yes, well you should have thought about the consequences before you broke the rules. Since your promise to obey your doctors and me yesterday didn’t make an impression, perhaps writing a longer sentence twice as many times will. Now come into the kitchen with me and have some breakfast. I figure this assignment is going to take a major portion of the day to complete, so I suggest you get started on it as soon as possible. With any luck you’ll finish by dinner.”
Wincing, Elly held out her writing hand, which had cramped on her yesterday, and flexed it as a reminder.
“Again, you knew there’d be consequences for your disobedience, so you’ll get no sympathy from me. You may take a break if you need to, but I’m not going to reduce your assignment. Anything else you want to say?”
After clearing her board again she wrote, “Elly is very sorry. Will Jerry forgive her?”
A smile teased the corner of his lips before he squashed it with a frown. “For what you did this morning?”
She hesitated and gave him a plaintive look, hoping her little girl act would win out. When he continued to stare her down, she nodded. It was too much to expect he might forgive her for the things she’d said Monday, or the fact she got caught by Arthur because she left the house without telling anyone where she was going. Even dimple-cheeked Shirley Temple would have a tough time wringing a smile out of Jerry Douglas if she’d committed those errors.
“We’ll see, brat,” he murmured softly. “Now, come on.”
When he put his hand at her waist, she rested her head on his upper arm and accompanied him into the kitchen. That earned her a quick kiss on her head. It wasn’t exactly what she wanted, but it was better than nothing.
It took Elly until dinner to finish writing her lines. With her hand still sore after yesterday, she needed to take several breaks, which included taking the dogs for a walk. This time, however, she wrote a note telling Jerry the route she intende
d to take and gave it to Sally, his receptionist, before she left. So, she wasn’t surprised when Jerry met her halfway though her stroll.
“Are you all right?” he asked when he’d caught up with her.
Nodding she held out her sore hand, so he pocketed her glove and massaged her aching fingers while they walked. He stayed with her until they got back to the house where he returned her glove, gave her a quick kiss and told her he’d see her later.
The moment Elly finished writing her last line; she picked up her forty pages and carried them into the kitchen to Jerry. He glanced down and said, “Put them on the living room table and I’ll go through them after dinner.”
Disappointed, since she usually received a few words of praise after she’d completed a harsh assignment, she did as she was told. When she returned to the kitchen, Jerry asked her to set the table, while he loaded their plates. Elly couldn’t say he was cold toward her throughout dinner, but he maintained a distance between them. Conversation was practically non-existent. What could she say? She’d already apologized over a thousand times. Grabbing her board, she asked if he wanted to see another movie tonight, but he shook his head.
“I think I’ll catch up on some reading instead. I’ll do it upstairs, so you can watch whatever you want.”
She nodded. “Take a walk together later?”
He met her gaze for a moment, then said, “You were out once today already, and I think it’s too cold for your throat. We probably shouldn’t risk it.”
Elly erased and scribbled, “Felt fine this afternoon.”
“Yes, but earlier the sun was out. Nights get especially chilly here. You should stay inside where it’s warm. Besides, we have an appointment with Marcus tomorrow. If you catch a cold, I suspect your permission to talk will be delayed even longer.”
Shrugging, Elly put down her board and marker. Maybe tomorrow they could settle things between them. Maybe tomorrow, things would be better.
CHAPTER SIX
Elly sat tense and silent as Marcus placed gentle fingers on her bruised throat. “Looks sore,” he commented absently. “Does it hurt when I press?” She shook her head. “How about swallowing? Any difficulties?”
When she gave another shake of her head, he nodded. “Good.” Her nerves more on edge than usual, Elly winced when he retrieved a tongue depressor. She’d always had an active gag reflex, so she preferred to avoid having anything stuck in her mouth or down her throat. Marcus knew of her particular aversion from previous examinations, so his grin was intended to raise her ire a notch and put her pride into hyper-drive. It worked enough that she barely refrained from sticking her tongue out at him for real when he said, “Say Ah,” in a particularly patronizing tone. He was a good doctor who understood pushing a patient’s buttons sometimes benefited them more than sympathy and reassurance.
Elly’s attention remained focused on the doctor’s expression when he rolled back with a frown. “Have you been using your voice against my advice?” he asked and Elly winced again. In Corbin’s Bend, it was never wise to go against a dominant’s orders. All the HoHs took a dim view of disobedience, and often sought redress if they believed the offense deserved it.
“Yes, she has,” Jerry answered in her place. “And I made certain she understood the consequences for doing so.” Marcus gave an approving nod, to which Elly closed her eyes to keep from rolling them in annoyance. She had wanted Jerry in the room with her during this examination; but given his friendship with the doctor, a part of her wondered whose side Marcus would take if she hadn’t. She’d like to think hers.
Marcus’s forehead creased with consideration. “The area appears more irritated than it should after a few days rest, but looks far less red with no sign of swelling. I don’t recommend you embark on any long-winded conversations, but you can talk if you feel up to it.”
The doctor’s release was both a relief and a cause for worry. Letting out a sigh, Elly glanced over at Jerry. Though writing everything out she wanted to say was a pain, Jerry had put their “conversation” on hold until she could talk. Now there was no reason to delay the inevitable. Except Elly was no closer to answering Jerry’s question today, than she had been two days ago.
Oh, she had given a lot of thought to what she would say, but she still had difficulty explaining why making a vow to obey Jerry in church left her so uneasy, because rather than logic, her reasons were based on emotion and fear. He was right. She submitted to his authority now, and the words themselves contained no magical properties to transform an individual from being calm and reasonable to cruel and heartless. Jerry would never want to hurt her. He wasn’t made that way, and yet he felt strongly about her vowing to obey him. Saying the word reflected her trust in him. Her refusal to include it in her vows indicated the opposite. The choice was hers, but Elly doubted she could make the decision without some sort of affirmation from Jerry. Except how could anyone prove a negative?
Her voice sounded rough and gravelly as she thanked Dr. Devon, then stepped down from the exam table thinking she and Jerry would leave now. However, he remained behind. “Go ahead and get in the car, Elly. I have a couple more questions to ask Marcus, but I shouldn’t be more than a few minutes.” When Elly hesitated, he said, “Go on, sweetie. I’ll be right behind you.”
Realizing Jerry didn’t want her in the room while he spoke to Marcus for some reason, she did as he asked and waited in the car. Five minutes later, he joined her with a smile.
“Buckle up,” he ordered, putting his key in the ignition.
Elly fit the latch plate into its buckle with a snap then turned to her lover. “Aren’t you going to tell me what that was about?” Though her low voice gave her words a sexy purr, she felt more irritated than sexy. Though it didn’t hurt to talk.
His eyes wide with a guilty little boy’s expression of bewildered innocence, he asked, “What?”
Clearly, he was allowed to keep secrets even if she wasn’t. She slumped in her seat and stared straight ahead. Chuckling at her aggrieved pout, he reached over and lightly squeezed her fingers.
“I’m teasing you. Don’t worry. I just had a couple questions I wanted to ask the doctor. Nothing nefarious, I promise.”
Elly shrugged as if it didn’t matter.
When they arrived back at the house, he escorted her in, spent a minute greeting the dogs, and then asked, “You feel like talking now?”
“Not really.”
“Okay. I’ll go back to work then.”
When he turned to leave, she called, “Jerry, wait.” He stopped to give her a questioning look. “We should talk now. Putting it off until tonight will only make me more nervous than I already am.”
With a nod, he retrieved his cell phone and said, “As you wish. After I check in, I’ll get us a couple of drinks so we can discuss this through undisturbed. Why don’t you relax on the couch?” He offered her a quick reassuring smile, then strode into the kitchen and spoke to his receptionist. A few minutes later, he returned with two beverages. Given Colorado’s climate in February, Elly grew easily chilled, so he fixed her a mug of Earl Grey tea and poured himself a cup of coffee, then sat beside her.
“Marcus said tea and honey would help soothe your throat.”
“Is that what you talked about? My throat?” she asked, bringing the steaming, aromatic fluid up to her nose and inhaling the unique citrusy fragrance deeply.
“We discussed the ways I could make you more comfortable. I wanted his take on your fear and what I could do to assuage it.”
She jerked her head up to stare at him. “You told him I asked to remove the word ‘obey’ from my wedding vows?”
Sitting back, he took a swallow of his coffee. “Not exactly. I mentioned how the changes that occurred in Arthur after you’d married him had left you uneasy and uncertain about marrying me, and asked if he had any recommendations.”
“What did he say?”
“That showing was better than talking.”
Elly frowned. “Wha
t does that mean — exactly?”
“It means that until I prove to you how Arthur and I differ, you’ll continue to fear the unknown.”
“You’ve already demonstrated your differences.”
“Not in the way that clearly matters to you.”
She shifted a little on the couch. “I don’t think I understand.”
“I think you do, but why don’t you tell me what scares you the most about giving me your vow of obedience?”
She shrugged and took another sip of tea.
“Are you afraid I’ll abuse your trust in some way by asking you to do something you don’t want to do?”
Uncomfortable with the direction this conversation was taking, Elly briefly considered redirecting the discussion to a safer topic, then bit her lip and answered honestly. “A little, I guess. I’m afraid you’ll use my promise to convince me to try something I don’t want to do.”
“Like what?”
Giving another offhanded lift of her shoulders, she sipped her tea while wondering if there wasn’t some truth to the caution about being too honest. Though talking might be easier now, she had no wish to put any ideas in Jerry’s head that might not already be there.
“If you aren’t comfortable enough discussing these fears and dislikes with me, perhaps you should take some time to talk to Traci, Kelli or Char?”
Nope. Wouldn’t be helpful. “I don’t think getting their perspective would work in this case.”
“Okay. Next question. Do you want to postpone the wedding?”
Her gaze snapped up to meet his. “No. Why? Do you?”
“I’m not the one battling with uncertainties, Elly. I love you, and I want to marry you, but I don’t want to rush you.” When she didn’t reply, he added, “Is the only thing holding you back your vow of obedience?”
Was it? “I realize it doesn’t make sense —”
“Not the point. Emotions don’t always make sense, and fears are often illogical in nature. What I want to know is if you have any other reservations about marrying me?”
