by Thianna D
She shook her head, though she wasn’t entirely positive that was true. Jerry’s appearance in her life was close to a miracle. He was unstinting in his affection, patient and incredibly gentle. A part of her understood she was being ridiculous. Jerry would never purposefully hurt her in any way, but he was still a dominant male with certain expectations, and marriage was a sacred covenant. He might not intend to treat her any differently, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t.
“What are you thinking?”
“I’m wondering why you’re so insistent I give the oath in church when you don’t think it will make any difference in our relationship.”
“I didn’t say it wouldn’t make any difference, I merely said that since you’re already obeying me, it should make very little difference to you.”
“So, why don’t we simply drop the word? It could save us a lot of time and grief.”
“You want to know why I think eliminating ‘obey’ from your vows would be a mistake?”
She nodded.
“Because it’s not the word itself that’s causing your hesitancy, Elly. It’s your trust. I could agree and let you change your vows to ease your mind, but that would merely be placing a bandage on the problem, rather than rooting out its cause.”
“You sound like you think I need dentistry.”
He placed a hand on her knee. “Marriage is a big step, and your first one was a disaster. I want to assure you that you won’t be making a similar mistake with me, but I can only do that if you’re willing to meet me halfway. That’s not to say we won’t argue on occasion, or get mad at each other, but we’ll work out our problems, just as we’ll resolve this one. Together.”
“You grew angry with me when I first mentioned my uncertainty.”
“I was hurt by your lack of trust, since I believed I’d done everything possible to reassure you. I thought you understood that you had nothing to fear from me. But it seems my efforts to be patient and gentle may have caused more harm than good. I should have been firmer, more decisive, so you wouldn’t continue to have so many doubts. I was too — soft.”
With her heart pounding, and her palms sweating, Elly set down her tea and tucked her legs beneath her. “No, you weren’t.”
He smiled. “Yes, I was. You confessed something to me Monday. You told me what you most feared, and I responded with words borne out of hurt pride rather than prove then and there that your fears were unfounded.”
With her fingers gripping the couch cushions, Elly’s chest tightened making it difficult for her to breathe. “I don’t want you to prove anything to me.”
“Maybe not.” His warm hand moved up to cup her face. “But I think you need me to do it all the same.”
Elly blinked back tears as she gazed at him. “I don’t —”
“Yes, you do,” he insisted firmly. “It’s the only way I can convince you that you’ll have nothing to fear from me, ever.”
More wetness fell as she shook her head. “Please don’t ask me to do this.”
“I won’t.” He bent his head and touched his lips to hers. A familiar scent entwined with the aroma of coffee played at her senses, and as tense as she was, she gave herself over to his kiss. When he drew back, he grasped her fingers, releasing their death grip on the couch, and gave them a slight tug. “Come with me.”
Panicked, Elly shook her head. “No, Jerry. I can’t. Please.”
“Elly, I’m not asking, I’m ordering. I would prefer you willing, if not eager, but if that’s too much to ask, I’ll take the decision out of your hands. All you need to do is trust me.”
“I can’t.”
“Yes, you can. Now come on.”
Though he didn’t force her to leave the couch, his grip was firm enough he did not permit her any other option. Once she stood in front of him, he drew her into his arms. Scared, she started to cry.
“I know,” he whispered gently as his hands roamed up and down her back. “This is scary for you, but it will free you by removing all your doubts.”
“No, I —”
He tilted her chin up. “Elly, enough. I don’t want to hear you say that word again.” Though his touch was gentle, his tone struck her with the force of a lash and she jerked back in reflex.
“But you said —”
“Yes, I told you that your ability to say no wouldn’t magically disappear when we married, but for now I think it’s best we close that escape route.” When she opened her mouth to object, he placed a finger across her lips. “No, hear me out first. Later on, I will give you another word to use, but it will have rules attached. As for now, if you say ‘no’ again, you’ll get a swat. Understand?”
She shook her head, pulling free of his grasp.
“Non-verbal negative responses will count as verbal.”
“Please…”
“Elly, you can’t continue to let your past interfere with our future. What happened between you and Arthur is behind you. This is between you and me now, and as much as I want you beside me, your past is not welcome in our bed. In fact, I forbid it to go beyond the walls of this room.”
“I can’t —”
His arms crossed her back so his hands rested on her lower spine. “Yes, you can, and you will. Since I recognize this may cause you some anxiety, we’ll stay downstairs. It’s where we began, so you associate your former bedroom with obedience.”
“Are you going to punish me?”
“No. Of course not. I would never punish with a sexual act. That isn’t my way. However, because of your fear, you may interpret some of my instructions as purposeful humiliation, since they will make you vulnerable, and you will instinctively resist.”
“So, you will force me?”
“No. Force will never play a part in our activities together. I will, however, insist you obey me nonetheless.”
“But if I don’t want to obey, and you insist, then you are forcing me.” Her breathing quickened into pants, bringing his hands up to cup her face again.
“I will strongly encourage you to do what I ask, but I will not use my physical strength to compel you.” When her entire body started to tremble, he wrapped his arms about her and drew her into a comforting hug. “I want you to trust me, Elly. I have no desire to hurt you. Now, send Muffin to her bed upstairs, so she won’t get upset if you want to cry or fight me.”
She shook her head. “You’re scaring me.”
“I realize that, and I’m sorry. But giving you the reassurance you seek right now would be counter to my purpose. I need you to trust me, despite your fears.” He gazed down at the poodle sitting at their feet. “Muffin, upstairs.”
The tiny dog glanced up at Elly for confirmation.
Elly hesitated, then nodded even as tears streamed down her cheeks. Jerry was right, if she got upset Muffin would want to protect her, and that wouldn’t be fair to the dog. Despite her aversion to his proposal, Elly knew Jerry would take special care not to hurt her, but no matter how much lube he used, she also realized this wouldn’t be at all like having her temperature taken. “Go on, sweetie,” she persisted on a soft sob. “Mommy will see you in a bit.”
Slowly, and with a show of great reluctance, the small dog did as she was told. Once she was out of sight, Jerry slid his hand down to entwine their fingers before he bent forward until their mouths were less than an inch apart.
“Good girl. I recognize that wasn’t easy for you to do. I’m proud of you.”
Then his lips captured hers again and Elly melted against him. She still didn’t want to do this, but his approval meant so much to her she suspected she’d do everything he asked if doing so would earn her his praise. Momentarily mollified and compliant, she allowed him to lead her into the downstairs bedroom without further argument.
CHAPTER SEVEN
The moment they stepped across the threshold, Jerry closed the bedroom door, to ensure no four-legged children would disturb them, and drew Elly close. “I love you.” He whispered the reminder against her lips as
his hands soothed, rubbed and slowly undressed her. Tiny sounds of protest emerged from her throat, but she offered no resistance when his talented hands wove an erotic spell around and within her as they gently sought out her hidden valleys and crevices. No place on her body was denied attention, but he showed no preference to any specific area either. Instead, he encompassed her with his touch until she stood naked and trembling before him.
Releasing her mouth, he took a step back and let his eyes feast. “You’re beautiful, sexy and cute all at the same time, and I adore you.”
She attempted a tremulous smile.
“Good girl. I much prefer your smiles over your tears, so we’ll see if we can’t keep those luscious lips of yours upturned with pleasure. All right?”
Nodding, she let him lead her over to the bed. The fact he chose to remain clothed while stripping her naked would have normally made Elly uneasy, but today she took a measure of comfort from his denim-clad body. She knew the impressive piece of man-flesh tenting his blue jeans was capable of bringing her great pleasure, and though she’d never consciously compared them, Jerry was much larger than Arthur, which made her a little uneasy given what he intended.
He lay down first, then draped her to lie over him. Elly tensed, even though she preferred the freedom of being on top.
“Relax, sweetie. We’re in no hurry and right now I simply want to bring you pleasure. All right?”
Pushing aside her doubts for the moment, she nodded and bent forward for another kiss. This time he lightly nibbled her lips before his tongue claimed the interior of her mouth. The coaxing fingers that skated along her sides shifted to an erotic scraping of neatly trimmed nails. He continued the tease until her soft moans grew in volume, at which point he rolled her onto her back without pausing in his sensuous assault.
Elly wrapped her arms around his neck and participated with eager willingness. After a moment, he raised his head. “I would like to give you a scented oil massage. It will help relax you.”
Though he was stating his intentions, rather than asking, she gave a nod of consent and received yet another kiss as her reward. Then, he shifted and drew a small bottle from the top drawer of the bedroom night table.
“Always prepared?” she asked with a feeble attempt at a grin.
“Ever hopeful,” he corrected, his smile gently reassuring as he poured a dollop of oil onto the palm of one hand. When he warmed the lubricant with the heat of his skin, the aromatic scent of caramel popcorn filled the air.
“Popcorn? Is it edible?”
“That it is. Guaranteed to be non-staining, non-greasy and naturally moisturizing, according to the packaging. Supposed to be quite tasty, too,” he murmured, lowering his hands to her breasts. The deliciously warm oil created a pleasant tingle as Jerry expertly massaged Elly’s front. When he reached her thighs, he settled between them, giving each a playful nudge to indicate he wanted her legs further apart, and then he dipped his fingers inside her.
Heat engulfed her. “Whoa,” Elly said, unprepared for the burn.
“Too much?” he asked without pausing in his intimate massage.
“Um.” The brief sting morphed into a warm throbbing that had her seeking deeper contact. “Nice,” she answered, pressing back against his hand.
He lowered his head. “And now for the taste test.” Sensitive nerves, awakened by his touch; sent jolts of pleasure surging through her tightly wound body at the first stroke of his tongue.
“Ahh,” she murmured, her back arching while her trembling body teetered on the pinnacle of a glorious climax. She was almost there; just one more tiny flick and she’d tumble over into bliss. He sat back on his heels.
A moan of protest emerged from her throat. “No. Don’t stop. I was so close.”
“I know,” he replied with an evil wag of his eyebrows.
“Jerry!”
“Roll over.”
Elly hesitated as her glow rapidly diminished beneath his stern expression. She wasn’t ready for this. Not yet. “No, I —”
“Elly, do you recall what I said earlier?”
Oh God. She pressed her head against the pillow. “Yes, but —”
“The count begins now. One swat for each number I call. One.”
“Jerry, I —”
“Two.”
“Can’t we —”
“Three, if I reach five, I’m getting the hairbrush. Make me wait until ten, and I’ll fetch the paddle.”
Yikes. He meant that wicked CB Paddle the welcoming committee gave as a ‘house warming’ present to every new resident. The diabolical instrument had the Corbin’s Bend logo engraved on it backwards, which left a lasting impression. “No!”
His eyebrow arched. “You think I’m not serious? I should add a swat for that, but I would rather not have you too sore, so you’re getting a reprieve. Four.”
Letting out a tiny whimper, she clenched her buttocks, rolled onto her stomach and hid her face in the circle of her arms.
“The count remains at four,” he announced, before his hand descended with a loud thwack.
“Ow!”
“What do you say to me?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Try again.” His hand fell a second time and she drew air between her clamped jaws to counteract the smarting spank he delivered, which produced more heat than usual due to the warmed oil coating his fingers.
“I’m sorry, sir.”
“Better. I suggest you keep in mind who’s the boss in our bed.” The third strike had her hindquarters wriggling to escape the discomfort while her teeth clamped on her wrist to hold back any protests her unruly tongue might form. “I’m only using my hand now. Say ‘no’ to me again, and you’ll be doing your derriere dance beneath a hairbrush.”
Luckily her instinctive ‘no’ was swallowed up by another ‘ow’ as his hand landed for the fourth, and hopefully final, time.
He sat back. “Good girl. You took your punishment well, but I hope you remember my cautions should you be tempted to object again.”
Relaxing her tightened muscles, Elly released a small whimper in response.
“Hey, you got off way too easily to convince me those smacks hurt.” She bit back the comment attempting to wedge past gritted teeth on the effect of paddle-like hands, when, despite his words, he gave her bottom a soothing stroke to reassure her. “Okay, back to the fun part.” The warming oil stung when he rubbed it onto her still smarting hindquarters, but not enough for her to voice another complaint. Within seconds, however, the stinging dissipated into a sensuous tingle that prompted Elly to raise her backside against his firm strokes, seeking a deeper connection.
“Good girl,” he praised, moving his hands up to the small of her back along her spine to her shoulders and back again to her wanting bottom. Jerry was right. That spanking had been mild compared to his usual chastisements for disobedience. Each stroke had been firm enough to wake sleeping nerves, but not harsh enough to be truly painful.
Her muscles melted like butter beneath his expert ministrations until his fingers sought out the crack between her cheeks. Memories of pain and fear barged in like unwelcome visitors into her mind, and she clenched her buttocks to bar their way.
“No. Relax, Elly. I’m just massaging.”
Closing her eyes against the building panic, she fisted the bedcovers. “You said you’d give me another word to use.”
“I will, but you’re not ready for it, yet. I’m not hurting you.”
Jerking her head up, Elly glowered at Jerry’s kneeling form behind her. She so didn’t want to do this. “Then, you do expect to hurt me.”
He sighed. “No, I don’t, but I want you to feel safe knowing you have a word to use if you need me to slow down or stop. One that won’t get you into trouble. Now, relax your butt or accept the consequences for disobedience.”
How could a person accept consequences for their disobedience and feel safe at the same time? Jerry’s arched eyebrow indicated he would not be open to furt
her discussion on the matter. “You don’t play fair,” she complained, but lowered her head and did as he requested.
“Fairness has nothing to do with this.” His fingers slipped toward forbidden territory, but didn’t dip inside. As long as his attention remained focused on the outside of her bottom, she could keep the panic at bay.
Then he drew his hand away and she heard the snap of latex. Her head came up with a jerk as she swiveled to look behind her. He’d put on a glove and was now pouring oil over his middle finger.
“Jerry, I —”
“Relax.” The word was spoken as an order, not a suggestion. “Okay, if you want me to move faster, I want you to say ‘gazelle,’ to get me to slow down say ‘ox’ and if you need me to stop say ‘lion.’ Repeat those for me.”
Elly shook her head as her heart rate and breathing sped up to the point she doubted her mind could form words, let alone reiterate instructions.
A warm hand stroked the small of her back. “You’re hyperventilating. Just take a deep breath, Elly. No one is out to hurt you, so relax.”
Tears burned her eyes as she inhaled.
“Good girl. Another.”
Though the action sounded shaky even to her ears, she breathed in again using her diaphragm.
“Better. One more.”
This one seemed steadier, but far from confident. Why did she ever agree to do this?
“Okay. Now repeat your words.”
Recalling what he said, she repeated, “Faster-gazelle. Slower-ox. Stop-lion.”
“Good. Now, I want you to tuck your legs beneath you.”
“No.” Uh oh, not allowed. Quickly amending her statement into a question, she asked, “I mean, why?”
“The position will open you up more. Just rise up on your knees.”
Yeah, right. Why not ask me to leap over the moon, too, while I’m at it? Reluctant, but obedient, she moved onto all fours, doggie style, and grimaced. Oh goody. A new and different humiliation for me to experience. Arthur never had her take this position. He preferred her handcuffed and bent over the bed.
