Lost Goat Lane

by Rosa Jordan

  Kate snuck a peek at Ruby’s face. She seemed excited and maybe a little jumpy, but pleased. Kate didn’t think Mr. Jackson was wasting his time at all.

  22

  Betrayal

  Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-goat candy sleigh,” Kate sang as she and Ruby walked home from town.

  “Dashing through the snow, in a one-goat candy sleigh,” Ruby sang. She stopped singing and smiled dreamily. “Just think, if I was in New York right now, I really would be dashing through the snow.”

  Kate’s stomach tightened the way it did when Justin talked about running away. It wasn’t what Ruby had said so much as the way she’d said it, like she really wanted to be somewhere besides here.

  “Would you rather be in New York, Ruby?”

  Ruby walked in silence for a few minutes, and when she spoke, she didn’t really answer Kate’s question. She said, “First time I left here, it was with a guy. Luther’s father. We were just kids ourselves, and oh, did we think we were hot stuff. One thing about New York, it’s a reality check on dreams. We got knocked right on our you-know-whats with reality.”

  “What do you mean?” Kate asked.

  “Well, for one thing we found out what it’s like to be surrounded by fifteen million people and not one of them care whether you live or die.” She paused. “Lots of choices, though. That’s one thing cities give you: lots of choices. Problem was, Luther’s dad made one choice and I made another, and before you know it, we went our separate ways.”

  “That’s how it was with my mom and dad. He decided to leave and Mom decided to stay,” Kate said.

  “Yeah, well, it happens,” Ruby sighed. “It’s easy to get the idea that someplace else is going to be better. But the truth is, no place does you much good unless you can get something going for yourself.”

  “You have something going here,” Kate reminded her. “Maybe more than a candy business. Don’t you think Mr. Jackson is cute?”

  “Cute? Honey, I am cute. Puppies are cute,” Ruby said. “When I start giving some man the time of day, he better be a whole lot more than cute.”

  Ruby walked faster, pulled along by Billy. “Slow down, you silly old goat. You took your sweet time going to town and now that we’re headed home you’re moving so fast we can barely keep up.”

  “Billy behaved really well, didn’t he?”

  “Not bad,” Ruby agreed as they turned onto Lost Goat Lane. “Not bad at all.”

  “So when are we taking in the next order?”

  Ruby pulled the cart to a stop. Billy struggled to continue toward home. Then he heard Sugar bleating. He changed directions and tried to drag Ruby down the Martins’ driveway. Finally Ruby managed to get him to stand still. He pawed the ground restlessly.

  “Listen, Kate. There’s something I didn’t tell you.”

  “What?” Kate asked, twirling in a circle to make the white skirt flare out.

  “We didn’t get another order.”

  Kate stopped twirling and looked at Ruby in disbelief. “We didn’t?”

  “Miss Tutweiler said people don’t buy candy after Christmas.”

  “What about Valentine’s?”

  “Yeah, but that’s two months from now. Don’t you see, Kate? This isn’t something that’s going to earn us regular money.”

  “What about Mrs. Bainbridge? She wants a box every week. And Mrs. Mayberry wanted a box and the librarian—”

  “Be realistic, Kate. Selling one or two boxes of candy a week isn’t a business.”

  “We just have to find more customers.” Kate’s eyes brightened. “I know. What about the big gift shops out on the freeway? We could take them some samples.”

  “And how would we get there?” Ruby asked impatiently.

  “Mom could drive us out.”

  “Kate, I told you before I’m not going to start asking favors from your mom.”

  “It’s not favors,” Kate protested. “It’s just—it’s just being neighborly.”

  “Oh yeah, like she’s really gone out of her way to be neighborly all these years.”

  Kate stood there feeling as if she’d stepped on two nails at once and didn’t know which one hurt most.

  “It’s just because your parents are older,” Kate mumbled. “Because you and Booker were teenagers when we were little kids.”

  “Or because we’re black,” Ruby said sarcastically.

  “Mom’s not prejudiced!” Kate crossed her arms over her chest and gave Ruby a defiant look. “You’re the prejudiced one! You think somebody’s trash just because they’re poor!”

  “That’s different,” Ruby snapped.

  “It feels the same. If you were rich you never would’ve asked me to be your partner. You wouldn’t even be my friend!” As the words spilled out of her mouth, Kate knew that what she wanted more than anything was for Ruby to say “Sure I’d be your friend, Kate. No matter how rich I was.” But that’s not what Ruby said. What she said hit Kate hard.

  “Well, I’m not rich! And I don’t intend to hang around here being poor the rest of my life.”

  Suddenly Kate realized that this argument wasn’t about black and white or about rich and poor. It was about the two of them. Their partnership might not be a real friendship, but it was the best thing she had and she was about to lose it.

  “You’re going back to New York!” Kate wailed.

  Ruby put her hands over her ears. “For heaven’s sake, don’t screech at me like that! I never said I was going to stay forever!”

  “You said we were partners!”

  Ruby set her mouth in a hard line. “Look, Kate, I just went along with this goat cart idea because it meant so much to you. But it’s kid stuff. We earned ourselves some pocket change, that’s all. If you want to keep on doing it, fine. I’ll even leave you my recipes. But me, I’m ready to move on. I figure if I can get a business going here, I can get one going anywhere. So why not start where there’s more than two customers?”

  “All that work!” Kate howled. “Just so you’d have the money to leave!”

  Ruby opened her purse and gave Kate a big fake smile. “Well, hold on, girl. You’ve got some spending money coming, too.”

  Kate’s anger and hurt exploded, so powerful that her whole body seemed to be out of her control.

  “Go spend it yourself!” she screamed at Ruby. “In New York!”

  23

  Christmas Eve

  It was Christmas Eve. Kate stood on the porch looking up at the stars, which seemed as cold as she felt. Although she was shivering, she didn’t want to go inside. Somehow the chill that penetrated her skin matched the chill she felt in her heart. Even her mind felt numb and hopeless.

  Kate could hear the whirr of the sewing machine coming from Mom’s bedroom. Mom had been in there with the door shut ever since supper. She was obviously trying to finish a Christmas present for somebody. Justin had gone to bed but Kate knew he wasn’t asleep; it was too early. It was just Justin’s way of escaping. Mom could pretend this was a normal Christmas, but they all knew. This was the last Christmas they’d ever have here. Then they’d be moving away to some strange place where they’d have no friends. Kate choked back a sob. What difference did it make? She already had no friends.

  A noise in the living room caused Kate to turn and look through the window. Chip was pawing through packages under the Christmas tree. Kate went inside. “Mom better not catch you snooping!” she warned.

  Chip sat there clutching a bulky package. There were tears in his eyes. “It’s soft,” he said. “They’re all soft.”

  Kate took the package out of his hands and put it back under the tree. “Don’t you want new clothes?” she asked.

  “Not for Christmas,” Chip sniffled.

  Kate led him down the hall to the bedroom he shared with Justin and tucked him in. “It’s all Mom can afford, Chip. You know we didn’t even get jeans or shoes when school started. We’ve just got to have new ones. Do
n’t we, Justin?”

  “Who cares?” Justin pulled the covers over his head and mumbled, “I hate Christmas.”

  Kate knew he didn’t really hate Christmas. It was his way of saying that no matter what presents they got, it wouldn’t make up for what they were about to lose. She felt sorry for Chip, who wanted to find toys, not clothes, under the tree on Christmas morning, and she felt sorry for Justin because she knew he had worked hard to bring his grades up in hopes of making the team. And she felt sorry for herself because nothing, not one single thing, had worked out.

  Chip turned his back to Kate and curled up in a little ball. For a few minutes she sat on the side of his bed, patting him on the shoulder and thinking how unfair it was that tonight of all nights the hard truth should be bearing down on them. Chip knew there weren’t any toys under the tree. She and Justin knew that if Mom was so broke she couldn’t buy toys, it meant she was too broke to make the mortgage payments. They’d be moving for sure, and Justin wasn’t going to get a chance to try out for the team. And she, Kate, was not going to be able to contribute anything because she no longer had a way to earn money. She was sort of sorry she hadn’t taken the money from Ruby, but at the same time she was glad she hadn’t. You don’t take things from people who aren’t your friends, she thought bitterly, and Ruby certainly hadn’t turned out to be a friend.

  Kate left the room and tiptoed down the hall. She listened for a minute outside Mom’s room. At first it was quiet, then the hum of the sewing machine started up again. She went through the kitchen and out the back door.

  When she reached Sugar’s pen she stopped and leaned against the fence. She hadn’t cried since the day she figured out that Ruby was leaving. Usually a good cry made her feel better but now she felt that it wouldn’t make the slightest bit of difference. Whether she cried or not she was going to go on feeling terrible. Tonight, tomorrow, maybe forever.

  “Oh, Sugar,” Kate sighed. “Mom’s going to spend all night sewing clothes and in the morning Chip’s going to pout and Justin won’t talk and nobody’s going to get one single thing they want. It’s going to be the awfulest Christmas we ever had.”

  Sugar bleated softly. Then from the darkness came another bleat, smaller and more high-pitched than the first. Kate shrieked and raced for the house.

  When Kate burst into Mom’s bedroom, Mom jumped up from the sewing machine and jerked whatever she was sewing behind her so Kate couldn’t see it. “What on earth?” she gasped.

  “Mom!” Kate said in an excited whisper. “Come quick! Sugar’s had her baby!”

  Mom’s face brightened like a sunrise. She grabbed a flashlight and they ran hand in hand across the yard to the goat pen.

  “Shhh,” Mom said as she opened the gate. “Sugar wants us to see her new baby, but she’ll be nervous and very protective. We don’t want to startle the little fellow.”

  Kate tiptoed to the door of the shed and pushed it open. “Sugar,” she said softly. “Hey, Sugar. It’s me, Kate.”

  Mom shone the flashlight beam past Kate. There stood Sugar with two small goats, one golden brown and one black, pressed tight against her side.

  “Twins!” Kate exclaimed, going down on her knees.

  “Whoa!” Mom said, laughing. “Count again, Katie. I see four more legs on the other side. And they can’t belong to Sugar, because they’re white.”

  Kate stuck her head under Sugar’s belly to see the third kid. “It’s a baby billy!” she exclaimed.

  Mom knelt next to Kate, pointing the flashlight beam down so it wouldn’t hurt the kids’ tender eyes.

  “They’re so little,” Kate breathed. “Barely bigger than rabbits!”

  “It’s because there are three of them,” Mom told her. “With multiple births, the babies tend to be smaller.”

  While Sugar watched her every move, Kate ran her hands over their silky sides: first the brown baby, then the black one, and then the white one. Each was its own little miracle, a perfect work of art.

  “Whose are they?” Kate asked suddenly.

  “Why, Sugar belongs to you, Katie. They’re yours.”

  Kate felt a grin break over her face. “Can I give one to Chip and one to Justin?”

  By the way Mom hugged her, Kate knew it was a great idea.

  “I’ll give the black one to Chip, because it’s the same color as Go-Boy. Justin can have the white one because it’s a little billy.” Kate leaned down and kissed the tiniest of the three. “And this little honey-colored one will be mine. She looks like a miniature Sugar. I just know she’s going to be the sweetest of all.”

  24

  Goat Christmas

  They stayed with the baby goats for almost an hour.

  Afterwards, it took Kate forever to fall asleep. She heard Mom on the phone and wondered who she would be calling this late at night. Maybe she was letting Mr. Wilson know about the goats. Then the sewing machine started up again but only for a little while. After that, Mom was in the kitchen for what seemed like hours. Kate figured she was making a pie or something for Christmas dinner. She was still rattling around out there when Kate finally fell asleep.

  Around four in the morning Kate heard the car pull out. Mom had said she would go to the dairy earlier than usual so she could be home when they woke up on Christmas morning. Kate thought about going out to see the baby goats again, to be sure they weren’t a dream. But while she was trying to get up her courage to toss off the warm covers and put her feet down on the cold floor, she fell back asleep.

  Then she was dreaming. In her dream she kept hearing the click and clatter of little hooves and the faint tinkle of bells. A shout from the boys’ room woke her and she heard the sound of bare feet running down the hall. Kate hit the floor in a single bound. The clicking and jingling continued, and for a few seconds she didn’t know if she was still in her dream or awake and running down the hall behind Justin and Chip. The boys screeched to a halt in the doorway of the living room so suddenly that Kate banged into them. No doubt about it now, they were all wide awake.

  There in front of them were three small creatures prancing around the room, nosing at gifts under the tree and standing on hind legs to nibble at ornaments.

  “Reindeer!” Chip shrieked. “Baby reindeer!”

  He made a dive for the nearest one but it leapt away. Justin grabbed for another one but it too sprang out of his reach. Up onto chairs the goats went, around the Christmas tree, under the table, and onto the sofa. For an instant the three little goats paused in a row along the back of the sofa, staring at the children with bright startled eyes. Around each neck jingled a tiny bell—one red, one blue, one green. Then they were off again, leaping across the room, up and over furniture like small kangaroos.

  Kate and Mom hugged each other, laughing so hard they could hardly stand up.

  “Ma-a-a,” bleated the little billy. From outside came an answering “Ba-a-a.”

  Mom stepped to the front door and opened it. Sugar, looking indignant, marched in, braced her feet on the slippery floor, and called her triplets to her. Sheltered by the Christmas tree and Sugar’s warm sides, their wildness vanished. They ducked their heads under Sugar to nurse.

  Kate moved close to her own mother and watched in silent wonder.

  “Mom,” Chip said suddenly, “can we take the baby goats?”

  “Take them where?”

  Kate said, “He means when we have to move.”

  Mom looked bewildered. “Who said anything about moving?”

  Justin and Kate exchanged glances. It was nice that Mom didn’t want to spoil Christmas by talking about losing the farm, but it wasn’t really a secret. They’d known for months.

  “When the bank takes our place,” Justin said.

  “What are you talking about?” Mom asked, looking even more confused.

  Kate sighed. “We know all about it, Mom. We saw it on TV, banks taking people’s farms when they don’t have enough money to make the payments, so the animals and families get separ
ated and have to go live somewhere else. Chip’s worried about the animals, that’s all. He was hoping …” Kate’s voice trailed off.

  Mom sat down on the couch. For a minute she didn’t say a word. The only sounds were those of the baby goats sucking and the tinkle of their bells. Then Mom said in her most serious tone of voice, “Come sit here in front of me, all of you. I want you to listen to me for a minute.”

  They dropped onto the floor and sat there cross-legged, waiting. Mom looked from one face to another. She didn’t smile and they didn’t smile. They didn’t want to hear what they thought she was going to say.

  “I explained this all to you before. I told you we weren’t going to lose this place.”

  Justin shrugged. “Yeah, but you said the bank wouldn’t give us an extension.”

  “That’s right,” Mom said. “Because in their opinion, a woman with three kids and no husband is not a good risk. Used to be, bankers looked at a person’s character. People who had a good reputation for paying their bills didn’t have any trouble getting a loan. But now lots of banks don’t look at the person. They decide in advance that certain types of people can’t be trusted.”

  “What types?” Kate asked.

  “Sometimes women. Or black people, or Latinos. Or people living in certain neighborhoods.”

  “That’s prejudice!” Justin exclaimed. “Can they do that?”

  “I was going to help,” Kate said, feeling ashamed that she hadn’t been able to.

  Mom reached out and stroked her hair. “You did help, by not complaining when you had to do without things. And yes, Justin, it is prejudice and it is against the law to refuse to do business with someone just because that person is a woman or a certain race or lives in a certain neighborhood. But some banks, or I should say, some people at some banks, find ways to get around the law. That’s what we were up against, and why I made the decision I did.”

  “What decision?” Chip asked. Kate could tell that Chip wanted Mom to hurry up and get to the point so he could go back to playing with the baby goats.