“Already crying for Lucy? I think B.J.’s going to work out after all.”
“Robert.” I corrected then shook my head. “I’m not crying for them. He’s perfect for Lucy.”
“So why the tears? My little brother getting you down again?”
I looked away and Jack handed me a small cloth. I glanced back and took it from him. “Wow. You had a hankie?”
“There was one on that little table.” He pointed across the room.
“What is this place?”
“I guess our conservatory? Music room, maybe? From what I’ve been told, Mom was into all that kind of stuff when they were building.”
“She had very refined tastes.”
“Hm.” Jack looked down. Then he grinned. “So if he’s going to keep running back to Renee, you should start running back to me.”
The words burned in my chest. “Is he with Renee?”
“Hell, I don’t know. But she’s always ready to play catch.”
“I hate her.”
He laughed out loud then. I winced at the noise, but I was glad he was laughing. It meant he was getting better. “Still holding out for him?”
I nodded.
“In that case, we could just what? Practice? Keep those pretty lips warm?”
My eyes narrowed. “You know me better than that.”
“I’m just saying. If he’s going to break up with you for kissing me, we should make it count.”
“How did you know—”
“What else could he possibly be angry at you for?” He leaned in closer to my mouth, but I stood up and went to the window.
“Not everyone cries after I kiss them, you know.”
I never did before Julian… I looked back at his perfectly handsome face. “Lucy got a beautiful day for her wedding.”
He stood and crossed the room to where I stood. I turned and looked out the window across the water, and he slid my hair back, kissing the base of my neck at the top of my shoulder. A charge moved down my back.
“Please stop.” My voice was a whisper.
He smiled. “Just testing the waters.”
“I’m not interested.”
“Julian’s an idiot.”
My insides flashed. “You’re one to talk. You broke up with me over a kiss.”
He exhaled and looked out the window. “You had a problem picking sides, but it was more than that.”
“No, it was just a kiss.”
“Several kisses and you getting all steamed up about Renee and then spending the night in the hospital with him. Jesus, Anna. I didn’t have to get hit over the head.”
“I was committed to us.”
“And you were in love with him. I didn’t have time for that. Not that year.”
I looked down. “I’m sorry.”
It was strange to be talking about those days with all that had happened. He’d told me a lot since that day in the hospital, but I still didn’t know what demons he’d been battling in New Orleans. I know all of that year was wrapped up in whatever it was.
“Well, don’t beat yourself up about it now.” He pulled me into his arms. “I told you, I’m willing to give it another shot—”
I pushed back. “I’m still in love with him.”
“He’s an idiot.”
“Stop saying that.”
“It’s the truth.”
“I can always count on you to defend me.” Julian’s loud voice made me gasp. I turned my back to the window, my heart thudding. This was not what it looked like… Julian wasn’t smiling, and Jack slid his hands into his pockets, heading for the door.
“So, Jules,” he said in passing, “where’d Renee get to?”
“I don’t care.” Julian hadn’t taken his eyes from mine, and I was having difficulty breathing.
Jack chuckled. “In that case, I’ll see if I can’t find her.”
He left the room, but all I could see was Julian. Even without a smile, he was so handsome. I’d missed him so much. I would’ve done anything he said in that moment. Instead, he just walked to the window and stood beside me looking out.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I was listening.”
I nodded, expecting as much.
“I never thought I’d agree with my brother.”
“About what?” My voice was soft, cautious.
He glanced at me. “Renee really is always waiting around for me.”
That wasn’t what I expected. “Julian!” I started to turn away, but he caught my waist and pulled me into his arms. “And you are so beautiful in that dress.”
He leaned down to kiss me lightly on the lips, but I couldn’t resist. I caught his cheeks and pulled him closer, opening my mouth. Longing pulsed through my chest so hard as he lifted his chin and kissed my forehead.
“Would you be my date to the wedding?” He breathed against my eyes.
They closed as my body vibrated with relief. “I-I thought you were asking Renee.”
His voice was thick. “I couldn’t do that. You’re my angel.”
“Oh, Julian.” Two more tears hit my cheeks. “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you about Jack. I swear, I was just waiting for the right time to—”
“Hang on,” he whispered, touching my lips.
I went silent, and that’s when I noticed music playing outside. The first wedding song.
“I think we’d better get out there.” His arms relaxed around me, and I hated to walk away before I’d told him everything.
Our eyes held each other’s a moment, and all the time we’d been apart felt enormous between us. I hated that only one night was left before the break ended, but at least he wasn’t angry… or at least he was holding me now.
He quickly slid his hands to my cheeks and kissed me once more. It was soft and gentle, and just when I thought he’d stop, he kissed me again. Was this forgiveness? Was he saying he understood?
Trying to speak made me realize I was panting. “You’re not angry anymore?”
“I love you, Anna.” I blinked, and fresh tears dropped onto my cheeks. He touched them away with his thumbs. “Don’t cry. It’s too early.”
I turned my head and blotted my face with the handkerchief Jack had given me. “I need to explain what happened. I was going to explain as soon as we were together again—”
“We’ve got to get to the wedding. We’ll talk after.”
“I’ve missed you so much. I thought I’d die these last few days.”
“I’ve missed you, too.”
The look in his eyes was warm, but I could tell we still had a conversation ahead of us. He took my hand and slipped it through his arm, leading us back to join the guests. I was at his side, but I could feel it between us. We had more to say.
Anna’s Private Blog: Post-Wedding Promise
The wedding ceremony was intimate and touching and beautiful. Surrounded by roses and lilies, Lucy and Robert promised to guard each other’s hearts both from outsiders and from their own carelessness.
They’d written their own vows, and as they said them, I remembered the days before they were together and how far Lucy had fallen. It had only taken one person to give her hope, to help her find her way back to standing, and from there she’d grown stronger and stronger—enough to embrace her father’s mistakes and forgive them, enough to embrace her mother’s best friend as a source of happiness for her family. Lucy was the one to start the healing here, and it seemed she’d be the one to see it through to the end.
My eyes traveled down the line of groomsmen, past Robert’s brother, skipping over Will, until I got to Jack. I studied his face, and the change was remarkable since that bad night when I’d found him. Something had given him hope, and while he wanted to say it was me, I chose to believe it was the counseling. Perhaps they’d found the key to whatever it was he hadn’t felt strong enough to face. Whatever he still hadn’t told me about.
From there, my eyes moved to Julian, and of course, he was looking at me. Automatically, a little smile touch
ed my lips, and the warmth of love filled my chest. The minister had just gotten to the part of marriage and what it meant. Joining two lives, two becoming one, for better or worse…
He smiled back, and as we looked at each other, I dreamed of the day when we’d stand this way, making these promises to each other. We’d had a rough patch, sure, but it wasn’t going to derail us. We were meant to be together, and it was just a matter of getting through the separation until we’d found a way to merge our future.
These thoughts were in my head when the minister instructed the groom to kiss his bride. A brief, passionate smooch later, and he introduced Mr. and Mrs. Robert Curtis. We all clapped, the guys pulled out confetti poppers, and the party was on.
The reception was held at the house, and while we’d been focusing on the ceremony, a team of caterers from Cobalt, an upscale restaurant on East End Beach, had set up the house for lunch. Only a small group had been invited to the wedding, but they’d thrown the doors open for the reception, and guests were already filing in. My parents were in the last row on the balcony seats, and Julian took my hand, leading me to them as soon as Lucy and Robert had left the area.
“I’m so glad to see you two holding hands again.” Mom reached up and hugged Julian. “She’s done nothing but lie on the couch all week.”
“Mom!” I cried. “I went to Tamara’s to get my hair straightened.”
“And I saw her get up to eat a whole pint of ice cream,” Dad added.
Julian glanced at me, and I gave him a sheepish grin before he pulled me close to his side. “This year’s been harder than we planned.”
Dad patted him on the shoulder. “You’re doing great.”
The photographer stuck her head in the door and called for all the wedding party, and we said a quick goodbye. For the next several minutes, we were pushed and pulled, arranged and posed, until everyone was satisfied enough documenting had been done. At last we were free.
“Let’s get a drink.” Julian pulled me inside to where trays of champagne flutes were circulating along with clear platters of all sorts of hors d’oeuvres and finger foods. In the kitchen were chafing dishes of shrimp and grits, sausage and shrimp étouffée, and bland pasta for the finicky eaters.
I didn’t care about any of it. I wanted to get alone with my guy as soon as possible, clear the air, be sure he understood and I was forgiven, and spend the rest of the afternoon and night making up for shortages. I was just about to suggest it when his parents approached, holding hands.
“Anna.” Ms. LaSalle leaned forward and kissed my cheek. Her long brown hair was over one shoulder, and she wore a flattering beige sheath dress. “I wasn’t sure I’d get to see you this trip.”
“It’s been pretty hectic, but that’s weddings,” I said, and she smiled.
Mr. Kyser released her hand and touched his son’s shoulder. “I’ve had some contact with that project we’re working on in the Caribbean. I wonder if I might discuss it with you.”
“Oh…” Julian’s eyes darted to mine, but I nodded, hoping it would be a fast discussion. “Okay.”
The men left, and Ms. LaSalle put her hand through the crook of my arm. Her face was close to my ear as she spoke. “I’ve never had a chance to thank you.”
You could’ve knocked me over with a feather. “Thank me?” I stepped around to face her. “Are you saying…?”
“This time I’ve had with Lucy has been… better than I hoped it would be. I didn’t believe you when you said she’d understand, but she did.”
“Jack won’t be difficult. But Will—”
“He’ll be more of an issue. It’s understandable. He was old enough to know what he lost.”
We’d moved to a private area of the house, and it struck me that Mr. Kyser’s need to talk to Julian might’ve actually been a cover for his mother’s desire to speak to me.
“I don’t know if I’ll ever understand Will.” I took a small sip of the champagne Julian had handed me. “Or like him.”
His mother’s smile softened her face. “I’ve been given so much more than I ever had a right to dream possible, I can only believe it will get better.”
“I hope it does.”
“I like you with Julian very much. The two of you remind me so much of…” She took a deep breath. Then she shook her head. “But it was wrong. We weren’t supposed to have that.”
I stepped to her. “Your past has been paid for—so many times and for years and years. They need you now. Lucy needs you.”
Her eyes glistened when she looked at me again. “She should’ve been here.”
My eyes flooded at her words, and I dropped my chin. I couldn’t speak, but she continued.
“Lucy looked so much like Meg today, and I remember their wedding day so well.”
I sniffed and she touched my shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
Wiping my eyes roughly, I shook my head. “No, I’m sorry. It’s been an emotional day.”
“I hope you’ll understand that I know.” She looked at me pleading. “I’m not letting myself off the hook. She should have been here.”
Chewing my lip, I studied my hands clasped in front of me, searching for the right words. “It’s true.” I took a deep breath. What I was about to say could go either way. “But she made that choice. She drove the car drunk, and she… she didn’t think how it could mean she’d miss this day.”
My whole body was tense. I wasn’t trying to disparage Lucy’s mom, but I had to find a way to keep the healing that had started in this house moving forward. Ms. LaSalle had to find a way through her guilt.
She looked down and sniffed. “She wouldn’t have done it if I hadn’t broken her heart. If I hadn’t stolen her dreams.”
“She was a grown woman. She made her choices.” Blinking quickly, I dared to peek up at her, hoping she wouldn’t withdraw again.
She didn’t. She only nodded and touched her fingers to her eyes. “I’m sure on some level you’re right. But I’ll never be able to let her go.”
“She was your best friend.” Images of Gabi and me filled my mind, and I couldn’t even think of going through what Julian’s mother had with her best friend. I couldn’t even imagine how it might be possible. “It’s right for you to carry her memory. But I think… I think it’s also right for you to live the life you have.”
We were quiet for several long moments. She walked slowly to one of the windows and looked out at the water. “Thank you. Again.”
Searching my mind for anything to say, all I came back with was the obvious. “You’re welcome.”
She looked over her shoulder and gave me a sad smile. “You’d better find Julian. You don’t have much time together.”
Quietly, I nodded and left her, and sure enough, my date was not with his father when I emerged from the small room. He was hanging around with my parents, smiling and eating steamed Gulf shrimp. They were chatting as always in the easy way they did, and I couldn’t help agreeing with him. My home life was worlds different from his.
“Worked out the details in the Caribbean?” I teased, taking a piece of shrimp.
“Anna!” Mom held an arm out to me. “Come take your lovely boyfriend away and catch up.”
“Mom?” I blinked at her, wondering how many champagnes she’d drunk. Still, I was pretty certain her idea of “catching up” meant hugs and kisses… at least I hoped it did. Otherwise, it was just too weird.
“We’ll be taking off soon.” Dad leaned forward and pecked my cheek. “If you have too much fun, just spend the night. I won’t fuss.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
They walked away, and I was left facing my boyfriend. He’d lost the tie and cummerbund, and he stood in front of me, top button undone, hair shaggy around his eyes, looking absolutely scrumptious.
“I think we should follow my mom’s orders.”
He smiled, but it wasn’t the usual full-on beam I typically got. We still needed to talk, and I knew it. I took the hand he held out to me and followed hi
m through the enormous living area, to the kitchen, through the small hallway and mudroom out to the circular drive.
Stopping at his car, he held both my hands. “How would you feel if we ditched this place and went surfing?”
The sky was clear blue and while it was breezy, it wasn’t frigid. The water most likely was, but I liked the thought of getting away to our beach with him. “I’d love it.”
“Grab a suit and meet me at Mom’s old place!”
Catching his chin, I stepped forward and kissed him briefly. “Be there in less than twenty.”
* * *
The surf was rough for a day without storms, and as I anticipated, the water was frigid. It didn’t stop Julian from charging into the pounding white breakers—of course, he was wearing a long-sleeved rash guard and board shorts. I wore my black one-piece, but I stayed in my green hoodie and lounge pants, wrapped in my towel on the shore.
Even with the cool breeze, sitting on the white sand, watching the crystal-blue waters rush in and out soothed me. Somehow, it always put every problem into perspective, as if the enormity of the ocean made my worries feel small.
We were quiet when I arrived at the cottage on Crystal Shores Boulevard. Julian was ready to go, waiting with his board in the garage, but I decided then to sit it out today. So we walked the few short blocks to the Gulf, and I stopped as he kept going. I didn’t know what he wanted to say or when he’d say it. Watching him ride in on the curling waters and then paddle back out, I was sure our current misunderstanding would be sorted.
The sun was slowly dropping in the west, turning into a deep, red-orange display of heat when he finally came in for good. His towel was beside me, and he dropped the board on other side of where I sat. He lay on his stomach with his elbows bent looking out, noticeably less tense.
“Nothing replaces the way this feels.” I said, following his gaze out to the dark blue water at the horizon.
“I miss it. When I’m in Savannah, I can take a break and run down to the water, but it’s not like this.”
“You don’t have your board.”
Mosaic (Dragonfly #4) Page 16
