Waiting on Forever

by Ashley Wilcox

  Moving in close to me, Matt presses both of his hands against the refrigerator next to my head, boxing me in. “You always look hot as hell, but right now…” he studies my face with his big hazel eyes, “You look so fucking sexy that all I want to do is throw you over my shoulder, haul you up to my room, and make sweet motherfuckin’ love to you.”

  “So, what’s stoppin’ ya?” I ask, giving him a suggestive look.

  Closing his eyes and letting out a soft chuckle he responds, “you’re not gonna make this easy for me, are ya?”

  I look at him puzzled, wondering what he’s talking about seeing as I’m making this very easy for him.

  “Baby, I’m not gonna treat you like some whore. You mean too much to me. Our first time together is not going to be during a college mixer.”

  Sighing in frustration, I blurt out in an angry tone, “So when is it going to be, Matt? When am I going to be good enough to fuck like the rest of them?”

  “Did you not hear me, Leah?” he says in a much softer tone than I used. “You’re not like any other girl. I’m not gonna just fuck you just because I can. I want it to be more…for you. For us.”

  Standing here, with tears pooling in my eyes, listening to him speak to me with such sincerity behind his words and with an intense warmness in his eyes, I can’t help but soften and fill with love. Yeah, I want him in the worst way possible, but I get it. Having sex in a garage or even in his room while just outside the door there’s a bunch of drunk ass people acting dumb and getting shit-faced isn’t exactly the most romantic way to lose your virginity, or make love as Matt called it.

  Resting his hand on my cheek, he asks with most heartwarming smile, “Okay?”

  Feeling a knot moving up my throat, threatening to make me cry like a baby, I smile in response and nod my head yes.

  “Good, now put these pants back on, so I can stare at your ass in them some more,” Matt jokes bending over and picking up my skinny jeans.

  By the time we get back inside the house, every square inch of it is occupied by a body of some sort. The looks and stares are amusing, shocked to see me dressed like one of them. Although I’m looking forward to getting these god-awful shoes off my feet, I don’t mind the rest of the outfit and I’m actually liking the response it’s getting. The more the guys ogle me, the tighter Matt holds me against him. Even though he has nothing to worry about, it’s cute seeing how possessive he is of me, especially with the stares, giggles, and winks he gets from almost every girl we pass. Apparently they don’t seem to care if he’s taken or not–hence the reason why he will never be attending another mixer or party without me. No plastic bitch will get even one paw on my man.

  “Hey, sexy lady,” Kayla slurs, coming up next to me. “So, have you sealed the deal yet?” she continues, making Matt choke on his beer.

  I give her the death look. “Oops, sorry,” she giggles before walking away.

  And this is why I don’t hang out with girls like her. No filter and no brains.

  “Seal the deal, huh?” Matt looks at me with a raised eyebrow.

  Yeah, I’m definitely going to kill her later.

  “I…uh…”

  Without letting me finish my sentence, Matt forcefully yanks me up against his chest, and whispers heavy in my ear, “Dance with me.”

  Let’s be honest. The only time I ever dance is in my room with my iPod blasting where no one can see me and, after getting a glance of the way people are dancing in the living room, it’s completely the opposite from what I do at home. I don’t even know if you’d consider what I do dancing. It’s more like bouncing around like an idiot with no rhythm. But something tells me from the firmness in his voice that I don’t really have a choice and before I can even respond with an answer, I’m being pulled in the direction of the make shift dance floor in the middle of the room.

  The music coming from the stereo is some top twenty pop hit that I’ve heard Kayla playing in our room that has a catchy chorus and a thumping background–exactly what you’d expect to hear at a college party. Once we get in the center of everyone, Matt pulls me up close to him positioning one leg between mine so that it rubs up and down my crotch with each move.

  And this is supposed to make me not want him?

  His hands slide down my back until they’re gripping my butt, holding me firmly in place in front of him. The look that he’s giving me is anything other than hot and seductive and I’m sure if there weren’t a million people around us he’d be having his way with me right here on the dance floor.

  Has he changed his mind?

  Feeling a warmness spread throughout my body and an ache beginning to develop between my legs, I decide to go with it and forget about all prior reservations of losing my virginity at a college party. There’s no off switch with my body right now–it’s alive and ready.

  Keeping our eyes frozen on one another, I run my hands slowly up under his shirt, enjoying every last ripple of his stomach and the firmness of his pecs. His body tenses beneath my touch and a low moan escapes his mouth. He can try and fight it all he wants, but I know his desire to be inside me matches mine. Our bodies yearn for each other and instantly react with need and want by the slightest touch. Just as my hands slide around his side and graze down his back, Matt loses all sense of control and moves his mouth down to my neck, leaving a trail of feverish kisses up to my ear.

  “Oh, you’re so damn hot,” he breathes heavy into my ear just before he nips the bottom of it, making me inhale deeply by the shock of desire that shoots down my body.

  He continues his journey along the right side of my neck and then onto the left, breathing heavy between each kiss. My own breathing has become so erratic and deep that it almost comes out as a moan. Every ounce of my body is on high alert for his touch and my hands have a mind of their own as they grip and rub Matt’s back. Every time our bodies dip to the music, our thighs rub up on our sensitive areas giving me a second of relief against the persistent throb between my legs.

  “Yo MJ, we gotta get everyone out–cops just rolled up,” Justin, the quarterback, says in a panicked tone after nudging Matt’s side.

  Matt instantly removes his attention from me to Justin. “What the fuck for?”

  “No fuckin’ clue, but two just rolled up to the curb.”

  “Jesus Christ…Alright, start kickin’ everyone out–party is over,” Matt says is an irritated tone. “Babe, go up to my room and lock the door. I’ll be up in a bit.” He leans over and gently kisses my lips before turning off the music and yelling for everyone to get out.

  Before the chaos erupts, I slink through the crowd and do as Matt asked, heading upstairs. There are sounds of people moaning coming from the first two bedrooms. I contemplate knocking on the door to let them know what’s going on downstairs, but decide against it–they can fend for themselves. Not knowing how long I’m going to be locked in his room, I take a quick detour to the bathroom. When I come out, I see a disheveled Brynn walking out of the second bedroom–slut! She doesn’t even notice me as she stumbles past and it’s just as well because I really don’t feel like dealing with her crap right now.

  Just as I get to Matt’s door, I hear an officer at the bottom of the staircase ask, “Ma’am, do you have ID on you?” I silently chuckle to myself, knowing that Brynn isn’t twenty-one and secretly hoping she gets arrested for underage drinking. As much as I want to listen to the rest of this, I know that I’ve been drinking–and not legally–so I push Matt’s key into his door and slip inside, locking it behind me before being caught by the police.

  Even though I’ve been in Matt’s room plenty of times, and have slept here almost every night for the last week, I’m not sure what to do with myself. Normally I’m with Matt when in here and normally we are doing things that I thought I’d be doing at this very second. But, not knowing what’s going on downstairs, and not knowing if I’m going to hear a knock on the door asking me to open up like they do on the show Cops, I sit nervously on the edge of the
bed fidgeting and tapping my foot. Although I’ve heard about police showing up and breaking house parties up, I don’t know what else they do. A lot of kids at these parties are underage and drinking–do they arrest all of them? Because Matt’s not twenty-one and he has been drinking. Is he going to get arrested? Is he going to get in trouble for serving minors?

  Oh my god. What if he gets arrested?

  Suddenly I’m off the bed and pacing the room, wondering what I’m going to do if he gets arrested. Will he call me with his one phone call? How am I going to bail him out? I only have, like, three hundred dollars in the bank from working and I’m sure bail would cost more than that. Will he get kicked out of school? Cortland has a strict three strike policy when it comes to drinking and getting in trouble. I wonder if he already has any strikes?

  Just as I’m about to have a nervous breakdown, I hear someone fiddling with Matt’s door and the body that makes my heart swarm with emotion appears in front of me.

  “Oh my god, you’re okay!” I breathe out in a heavy sigh as I run towards him, wrapping my arms around his waist.

  “Of course I’m okay,” he answers, holding me tightly and kissing the top of my head. “What did you think was going to happen?”

  “I heard the police ask Brynn for her ID when I came out of the bathroom which made me laugh because I’d love for her to get in trouble, but then I thought about all the rest of you down there that are underage and drinking and worried that you all were going to get arrested and then I’d be up here by myself while you all were sitting in a jail cell and I don’t have enough money to–”

  “Shh…” Matt says, adding a little space between us and holding my face to look at him. “Babe, it’s fine. They just made everyone leave. They asked for Brynn’s ID because she was too fucked up to even give them her name. No one got arrested–everything’s fine,” he assures me in a soft, gentle voice.

  “Really? Nobody got in trouble?” I ask surprised.

  “Nope. They just said they got a noise complaint and that it was time for everyone to go home. No big deal.” He smiles.

  Taking a calming breath, I allow my overactive nerves to chill the heck out, and look up at him with a relieved grin. Matt takes a minute to take me in with an adoring smirk then leans down and softly kisses my lips.

  “I don’t know about you, but I’m frickin beat. How ‘bout we throw a movie in and call it a night?” he asks, pushing my hair back out of my face and grinning down at me.

  Although I pictured this night going much differently, I have to agree, I’m completely exhausted. Snuggling up to Matt in bed sounds perfect at the moment.

  “Sounds like a plan,” I answer back.

  Chapter 23

  Rolling over, I’m greeted by an empty bed. I sit up in panic and look around Matt’s room, he’s not here. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice a note sitting on top of his pillow.

  My body instantly relaxes and warms seeing his cute girly heart at the end. It drives me crazy that this man can freak the hell out me one minute then make my heart skip a beat the next. I think it’s safe to say that Matt brings out every emotion in me, some better than others.

  Now that I’m completely awake, so is my bladder. I steal a pair of Matt’s boxer shorts from his top drawer, throw one of his t-shirts over my head, then tip-toe over to the bathroom. When I get back, Matt is sitting on the bed with our breakfast spread out on top of it.

  “I have to say the sight of you in my t-shirt and underwear never gets old,” he grins as I sit down next to him.

  With a big smile, I lean over and greet him with a kiss. “I have to say the grin on your face every time you see me wearing this never gets old, either.”

  “Mmm, I’m gonna miss you today,” Matt says, nuzzling his nose with mine. “I’ve actually gotta eat and run. Coach wants us down to the bus by ten.”

  What a shitty girlfriend I am–I completely forgot he has a game today. Glancing over at his cable box, it’s already twenty to ten.

  “I wish I could come,” I confess in an almost pouty voice.

  “Eh, it’ll be an easy win and you got your parents coming in this afternoon. I’ll be home before you know it.”

  Speaking of that...

  “What time do you think you guys will be back?”

  “Well, the game starts at one. It takes about an hour to get home from there and we’ll probably stop somewhere to eat, so probably around seven or eight-ish,” Matt answers, shrugging his shoulders.

  My parents said that they were going to get here around three. They usually take me shopping and to get groceries before going out to dinner, then typically doesn’t stay any later than 8 p.m.. It works out perfectly.

  “Tonight’s your place,” he says in reference to where we’ll be sleeping. “Why don’t you just call me when you’re done with dinner, then I’ll shoot over, assuming we’ll be back by then.”

  Not wanting to say goodbye yet, but knowing it’s coming, I respond, “K,” in a less then enthused tone, but with a sincere smile.

  “Oh baby, don’t do that. It kills my heart,” Matt says, cupping my cheek with a sweet voice. “I wish I could just carry you around in my pocket all day so I don’t have to see that frown on your face when I leave.”

  The thought of being attached to Matt’s hip is both amusing and disgusting. I picture myself like the mouse on Dumbo that hides out in the brim of his hat as they fly together. I’d just be in Matt’s pocket instead. I laugh at the thought.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “Nothing,” I smile. “Good luck at your game, Babe,” I say with a genuine smile.

  He does his usual once over of my face–I wonder what he is thinking when he does it? It’s like he has to study my face so he doesn’t forget what I look like when he’s away. He leans forward and gently kisses my lips.

  “Thanks, I’ll see you later. Tell your parents I said hello,” he says before grabbing his sports bag, then turns to give me one last heartwarming smile before walking out the door.

  His smile melts me to the core and I decide that I need to start capturing these moments on film. I need to capture the look he gives me every morning when he wakes up, the way he looks at me before kissing me goodbye, the pleased and proud smile he wears after making my body unravel below him–I need to capture it all..

  After finishing my breakfast and getting his room and bed back in order, I gather my things and head downstairs. It’s always amusing to see how the house can be filled to max capacity the night before and look like a ghost town the next day. Unlike the first time I stepped foot in this house, it looks like a tornado has passed through. Although I really don’t feel like it, the motherly girlfriend inside of me is telling me that I need to pick up.

  When did I become Miss Suzie Homemaker?

  Sighing with the acknowledgement that I’m becoming that girl, a softy instead of a witty tough ass, I drop my bag on the floor and head to the kitchen in search of the garbage bags I’m going to need to clean this place up.

  After two hours, three garbage bags full of beer cans, and a good scrub down and vacuuming, the house looks the cleanest I’ve ever seen it. I stand there for a minute with my hands on my hips and take in my handy work.

  Pretty impressive.

  Dying of thirst, I make my way into the garage to get one of my sodas out of the refrigerator before I leave. However, when I open the door my breathing stops and my heart beat accelerates seeing the large plastic containers filled with rose petals, a box of chocolate covered strawberries, and a bottle of champagne.

  What the?

  I quickly slam the door shut, not even getting a drink like I had originally planned, and stare at the closed refrigerator in front of me. Did Matt buy those for me? Are they even his? Of course they’re his, this is his refrigerator. What are those for? Does he have something planned that I don’t know about? He must have bought them this morning because they weren’t in there last night.

  My mind is going crazy wi
th a million thoughts and scenarios running through it. I can’t understand why these are in his refrigerator–it’s not close to Valentine’s Day nor my birthday or any holiday for that matter. There’s absolutely no rhyme or reason for them being here.

  Oh my god…

  Is tonight the night? Is he planning on having sex with me tonight? He said that he wanted our first time to be special and well this would all make it pretty damn special.

  Holy shit.

  Matt and I are going to have sex tonight!

  Not only has my breathing returned, but it’s very heavy. My heart is still pumping at a ridiculous pace but this time in anticipation. I’m so frickin excited that I could squeal, but knowing that would be pushing it, I squeeze my hands together and jump up and down like an idiot, thankful that no one is home to witness it.

  Once I finish my internal celebration, I grab the coke from the fridge that I originally came out here for and actually let out a very small quick squeal when I see it all again on the shelf.

  Breathe, Leah. Breathe.

  Taking one last glance at the present I have in store for me tonight, I close the door and head back into the house. With a smile that is sure to stay plastered on my face all day, I grab my things and make my way out to my car. With the music blasting, I sing at the top of my lungs as I drive back to the dorms. I even smile at the people who are stopped next to me at the stop light that are looking at me funny –I’m on frickin cloud nine right now and I don’t give a rat’s ass who sees it or what they might think. I’m getting laid tonight by the love of my life and the hottest, most wanted guy on campus.

  Hell, yeah. I’m going to celebrate!

  Chapter 24

  I manage to get a quick nap and a shower in before my intercom buzzes at exactly 3 p.m., notifying me that my parents are here.