by Carnal, MJ
My mind was working overtime. I had never seen someone so shattered before. I’d somehow found a way to give him comfort, but what about the next time, or the time after that? Would I know what he needed? Did I even want to be here for the next time? As his breathing evened out and I knew he’d fallen asleep. I closed my eyes and settled on the fact that I would take this day by day. Timber had no one here. No family, and as far as friends go, I only knew about Roger and Slim. It broke my heart even thinking about leaving him alone, knowing that he could potentially go back to that dark place in his mind again. Who knows how long he would have sat there in the cold water, completely withdrawn? I shivered, and Timber’s arms tightened around me. I sighed deeply and let my body lose itself to sleep. For the first time in six years I found a sense of safety, and it was oddly in the arms of a man that was possibly more disturbed than I was.
Chapter Nine
Timber
I opened one eye because the other was smashed against my pillow. I was lying face down and my covers were pulled over the top of me. I remembered that Kat had slept in the bed with me and I was certain she’d stayed the night. Turning over, I saw that the other side of the bed was empty. Disappointment immediately sank in. I’d never meant to fall asleep when I finally got her undressed and in my arms, but I’d been so exhausted from the destructive path I’d taken over the last week that my body had literally shut down when she held me. I buried my face in the pillow that she had laid on, breathing deeply the smell that I knew would be there, coconut. God, that girl was beautiful. She’d somehow settled something in my soul that had been ruined since that fateful day. She made me feel like a man again, like a whole person, even though most wouldn’t view it that way. As I laid there, remembering over and over how last night had played out, I heard something that sounded like a bang in the other room. Sitting up, my eyes darted around the room. Nothing was out of place.
Getting out of bed, the towel that had been wrapped around my waist fell to the floor. I couldn’t give two shits about nudity, and right now I wanted to know who the fuck had the balls to break into my place. Either way, they’d get a show of my sac and my fists. As I walked to my door and opened it, I was assaulted by the smell of lemon and….
“Is that Mr. Clean?” I asked. My nose sniffed the air and I glanced into the kitchen to see the finest ass bent over, digging around under my cupboards. I was more than glad to see that Kat had stayed.
Standing up quickly, Kat hit her head on the counter. She yelled, “OUCH! Son of a bitch.” She was rubbing her head when she turned and looked at me. “You don’t sneak up on a girl when she ha….”
Kat stopped speaking and her mouth gaped open. She was facing me and staring at my lower half. Shit, I forgot I was naked. I hadn’t planned on her being the intruder in my house. Using my hand to cover myself, I snickered at the look on her face. “You can either keep enjoying the family jewels or you can turn around while I dig around here for a pair of briefs.”
She promptly turned, but it wasn’t lost on me that her face was beet red. When her back was to me, I got a good look at what I thought was my apartment. Every inch of the place was spotless. There weren’t any empty bottles, boxes, or clothes anywhere to be seen. Now I understood why I smelled cleaning solution.
“You cleaned my place?”
She was still facing away. “Well… yeah. You do know that it was disgusting in here, right? I could hardly walk without falling into some death trap. I woke up a while ago and figured I’d do you a favor.”
I was shocked. Kat not only stayed with me, she was taking care of me. It did something to my heart. Needing to do something, I walked up behind her and kissed the back of her head. With my lips still on her hair, I said, “thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” There was an awkward silence for a beat and then she spoke again. “Timber?”
“Hmmm…”
“Go get some clothes on.”
I barked out a hearty laugh. “Okay, but only because you asked so nicely,” I said sarcastically and slapped her ass before I turned around and retreated to my bedroom. She yelped and rubbed her butt.
“Asshole,” she hollered at me.
Finding a clean pair of gym shorts, I pulled them on and walked back out to the kitchen. Kat was busying herself with a pan on the stove and a carton of eggs. Over in the corner was a coffee maker with a fresh pot brewed. I didn’t own a coffee maker. In fact, I didn’t own eggs. What the fuck? How long had I been asleep and what time was it? My cell was sitting on top of the television, plugged into a charger. I pushed the button on the side and it lit up. It was one o’clock and only half a day had passed.
“Do you prefer your eggs scrambled or over easy?” Kat called to me.
I stopped to think about it. “Over easy.” I walked back into the kitchen and leaned my hip against the counter. I watched her move through my space like she lived here. She knew her way around, pulling milk from the fridge, which again I didn’t previously have, and kept right on cooking. I felt like I was in some sort of twilight zone. I wasn’t mad, but it was slightly disturbing. I’d taken stock that the few boxes I’d had sitting around were now unpacked and put away.
“You unpacked my boxes?”
She stopped what she was doing and turned to face me, a spatula still in her hand. “Yeah, I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have touched your things, but this place really was trashed. I just wanted to make it more homey for you, I guess.”
“Kat, I don’t own a coffee pot.”
She looked sheepish while she fidgeted with the plastic handle of the spatula. “I went and bought you one.”
“I don’t own eggs.”
Now she wouldn’t even meet my eyes. “I went to the grocery store and got some, along with a few other things. It’s really not a big deal.”
“Yeah, it kinda is.” Her head darted up to look at me. I shook my head, a small grin on the edge of my lips. “Why would you get me these things?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “Doesn’t everybody need coffee and eggs?”
“No.”
She straightened her back, her tone harsh. “Well, I do, and I’m here right now so I’m making you fucking coffee and eggs. You can either say thank you, or I can pack this shit up and take it back to my place and enjoy them alone.” Her short rant over, she turned her back to me and continued to cook, acting completely indifferent.
I gave a devilish grin, even though she couldn’t see it. I stalked over, stopping to stand over the top of her. I placed both of my arms on either side of Kat’s body, caging her in, and leaned over to take a sniff of the eggs. She paused what she was doing, holding completely still. Just like the night at the bar, I brought my lips down to her ear and softly blew, enjoying watching goose bumps rise on her skin.
“Thank you. You’ve been very thoughtful.”
I bent down and lightly kissed the skin on her exposed neck. I felt her shiver. It turned me on, knowing that I was getting a reaction from her. However, just when I thought I had the upper hand, she took me by surprise. Turning around, she looked up at me with a heated glance before she nearly tackled me. Her full lips came crashing down on mine. Her entire body collided with me and I couldn’t help the grunt that came out of me. Kat parted her lips slightly, her tongue barely grazing inside my mouth. It triggered me to deepen the kiss, opening my mouth completely and sweeping my tongue into hers. She tasted like coffee mixed with her strawberry chapstick. It was intoxicating as it mingled with her coconut scent. Not wanting to bend down any longer and needing to feel her even more, I wrapped her arms around my neck and picked her up by her upper thighs, walking to the counter that wasn’t being used. She easily complied and held on.
When I set her down on the hard surface, I broke the kiss briefly, dragging my lips down the side of her mouth and to her neck. She tilted her head to the side, giving me complete access to her delicate skin. I ran my lips along her collar bone to the hollow of her neck. Every part of her smelled
incredible. She moaned softly, and my already hard dick jumped at the sound. Coming back up to her mouth, I looked into her eyes and brushed back the hair that had fallen on her forehead. She closed her eyes when my fingers touched her. God, I wanted this girl more than I’d ever wanted anything in my life.
I brought my mouth back to her lush lips and forced myself to slow down. I wanted to savor her. I placed feather light kisses on her. Her hands were buried in my hair, bringing me even closer. She was driving me wild and making it impossible to be gentle. My own hands came around her back and down to her butt. I cupped her cheeks and pulled her warm center up against my stiff cock, grinding myself against her.
Kat suddenly broke the kiss and gave me a subtle push, letting me know to step back. I stood there, watching her chest rise and fall in quick breaths. My own breathing was ragged and my shorts were tented out in front of me. What just happened? I thought we were both into it. Cursing myself I must’ve pushed too hard, too fast. I ran my hand through my messy hair that she’d been pulling not thirty seconds ago. A few minutes passed in silence and she was looking down. I needed to break the tension that was in the air.
“Kat, did I do something wrong?”
She shook her head no. Okaaaay… then what was it? I watched her intently, waiting for her to give me some indication of what to do to make this better, but I got nothing.
“Look, I’m sorry for pushing you. If I hurt you, I didn’t mean to.”
That’s when she looked up at me, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “You didn’t hurt me, Timber.”
I swallowed hard, trying to figure out the right thing to say. “What happened just now?”
A single tear slid down her cheek. She looked back down. I noticed that her hands were shaking and she starting wringing them together. I know I didn’t hurt her, since she told me so, but this seemed to be something more. Little tremors were wracking her body like she was scared of something. This was totally not a normal reaction to what just happened between us. I took a step forward into her space again, and she brought her hand up, stopping me in my tracks.
“Please don’t,” she pleaded. Her eyes were full of sadness.
“What’s going on, Kat?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” She bit down on her lip then looked over at the stove. She gasped and I turned my head in her direction. We’d forgotten about the eggs that were still cooking. They were burning and beginning to smoke. I leaned over and grabbed the handle, tossing the pan into the sink. It made a sizzling sound wherever the water touched the hot metal. Hopping off the counter, she asked, “Do you mind if I use your shower? I haven’t taken one since yesterday, and I’m feeling a bit dirty.”
Somehow I knew that she meant something more, but I nodded my head and said, “of course”. When Kat walked away and disappeared behind the closed bathroom door, I took a deep breath. My body was coursing with nerves, but thankfully my dick had settled down. Something I’d done had pushed her to stop, what was happening. I’d never had a girl stop me like that before. I wanted Kat, but I wasn’t sure what to do at this point. I walked over to the table and sat down. Leaning forward, I put my elbows on my knees. Playing the scenarios in my head, I thought that maybe if I tried again, she would possibly let it continue and we’d end up doing what we both clearly wanted. And she couldn’t lie to me about that. I had felt her body coiled up with need. Or, I could try again and have her push me away like she just did, and I’d walk away with the world’s worst case of blue balls and she might never speak to me again.
I couldn’t stomach the last part. Looking around my place, something about this girl showed me that she was starting to care. She cleaned everything and unpacked my shit. Hell, she even went grocery shopping for me. People don’t just do that. They help, but not as much as she had done in the past twenty-four hours. Plus, considering how she found me yesterday, I’d never understand why she hadn’t just closed the door and walked away. I must have looked like a total lunatic spouting off my issues like a crazy person. I’ve got too much shit in my own head to be filling up hers with the same crap. I wouldn’t do that to her. And something told me that she was dealing with her own demons right now and didn’t need to be bothered with mine. I also realized that regardless of how she’d seen me, I didn’t feel even remotely embarrassed. Had anybody else seen me, I would have lashed out and been angry. But she comforted me like no one else had before.
I heard the shower water turn off about ten minutes after she went in. She came walking out in a pair of black jogging shorts that showed her gorgeous legs and a gray ribbed tank top. Kat’s hair was still wet and the light that was coming through the living room windows gleamed off her red streaks, making them look more vibrant.
“Do you have a brush I could use?” She asked.
“I have a comb. Will that work?”
Kat nodded her head and I passed by her on the way to the bathroom. She followed behind me. I reached into the medicine cabinet, handed her my black comb and stepped out of the way. She began brushing out her long locks, little droplets flinging off the tips of her wet hair. I desperately wanted to reach out and take the comb from her hand and do the job myself, but I kept my distance. Instead, I asked her a question.
“Did you take last night off?”
She looked at me through the mirror and nodded her head.
“Was Ed okay with that?”
“Yes. I never ask for time off, so he was more than happy to give it to me.”
“Did he ask you why?” I wondered.
“No, he knows that if I wanted to talk to him about it, I would.”
Now it was my turn to nod. I continued to stand there and watch her until she was done brushing out all of the knots. “What time do you have to be at work tonight?”
She turned around and faced me, leaning back against the sink. “I don’t have to be in until five.”
I needed her to feel relaxed. “I have an idea. How about we go rent some movies and veg on the couch until you have to go.” I leaned over and poked her ribs. She attempted to step out of my reach, but giggled. “Come on, it’ll be fun.”
She smiled at me. “Alright.”
*********************************************************************
We’d made a quick run to Port O’Conner’s version of a Blockbuster, which in actuality was a gas station with a small selection of movies. Turned out Kat was a bit of a romantic. She chose an old Molly Ringwald movie, and Water for Elephants. I had raised my eyebrow at her when she approached me with her two selections.
She said, “What? You said I get to pick, and this is what I choose. Deal with it.”
“Always so sassy,” I laughed.
I’d grabbed a few snacks for us too since I had no idea what she’d bought at the store. We drove back to my place and I went in and started putting the first disc in. Kat closed the curtains, making the room fairly dark. When we were ready, I settled into my usual spot in the corner of the couch. Kat came over and snuggled into my side, laying her head on my chest. I hadn’t expected her to cuddle up to me, but you wouldn’t hear me complaining. Resting my hand on the curve of her hip, we sat back and watched the movie in silence. Two hours later, the credits started rolling and Kat leaned up on her arm.
“Did you like it?”
“Well, I thought it was awesome that the elephant was a murderer in the end. Who knew that the trunk is such a powerful weapon? Well… come to think of it, my trunk is pretty strong.” I waggled my eyebrows at her. She slapped my chest and laughed.
“You’re ridiculous,” she said.
Standing up and stretching my arms above my head, I looked down at her and caught her staring at the exposed skin of my stomach where my shirt had ridden up. If I didn’t know any better I’d have thought she looked like a starving woman, the way her eyes were transfixed on me. I was going to go put in another movie, but the way that she was watching me was causing me to get a little heated myself so I changed direction an
d headed into the kitchen for some ice water. When my pants got a little looser, I went back into the living room, only to see her standing up and looking at the few pictures I had sitting on the built in shelves.
I walked up behind her. Without turning around, she asked, “Do you miss her?”
Reaching around her and picking up the photo of me and my mom, I answered her. “Every day,” I stated simply. “She was someone to look up to. There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t know that my mom had my back. Did you know that when I was eight years old, my mom had gotten a phone call from Mr. Beck, who owned the Penny Candy Store, and he said that he had seen me shoving a bunch of candy into my pockets? Mom hung up the phone with him and came to me to ask me what had happened. I lied, of course, and told her that I paid for that candy and Mr. Beck was being mean because he didn’t like me or my friends coming in his store.” I laughed at the memory. “Mom turned right back around and marched to the phone and called Mr. Beck and told him that he could shove it.” I chuckled a bit more. “Mom never cussed, so hearing her say ‘shove it’ was pretty epic.”
Kat laughed. “Sounds like she loved you very much.”
Looking down at the photo of us, my mom’s arms wrapped around my shoulders while she stood behind me, kissing my cheek, I said, “Yeah… she did.” I gently placed the photo back on the shelf.
“Timber?”
“Yeah?” I said quietly.
“I think we need to talk about last night.”
I nodded even though she couldn’t see me. Turning and walking back over to the couch, I sat down and leaned forward. “What do you want to know? I can’t promise I’ll tell you everything, but I suppose you deserve to know some things.”
She came over and sat a few inches away from me. “H-how long were you over there? You know… in Iraq?”
Her stuttering made me look over at her. Those hazel eyes looked like they were staring into the depths of my soul, and again I felt like I could talk without it crushing me. Taking a deep breath I said, “Two tours. Three years total.”
