Fever

by Carnal, MJ

  “Thanks.” Her voice sounded hoarse.

  Just then, there was a knock on the door and we heard Beaver calling out. “Hello, are y’all in there?”

  “In here,” I said, directing him to the bathroom.

  As I helped Kat to her feet, Beaver poked his head in. “Hey, Kitten, you okay?”

  She shook her head and tears welled up in her eyes. “No, I don’t think I am.”

  “Come here, baby.” He held his arms out for her to come and hug him.

  She moved to him and he folded her into his large body. My jealousy bubbled to the surface, but I stamped it back down because I knew their relationship was strictly platonic. He looked at Kat like a little sister, and I had to appreciate the man for taking such good care of her.

  Beaver was stroking her hair as she sobbed in his chest. “It’ll be okay. We’re not going to let anything happen to you.”

  I piped up. “No, we’re not, because I’m not letting her out of my sight.”

  Kat spun around in Beaver’s arms. “Excuse me?”

  “You heard me. You go to the grocery store, I’m on you. You go to the post office, I’m on you. At work, Beaver and I are on you. At night when you close up, you’ll be at my house.”

  “You can’t be serious, Timber. Can’t I just get a taser or something? I could go to the range and learn how to shoot a pistol. Besides, you work. How are you going to take care of me and be at your day job?” She shook her head. “No, I don’t need you feeling like you need to be the big hero.”

  Ouch. That was a bit of a cut, and the look on Beaver’s face told me he heard it loud and clear too. It was getting harder to shove back my frustration. “I’m serious as a heart attack, Kat. You can’t protect yourself. You made that very clear last night.”

  Beaver winced. I was about to get my ass handed to me. “Fuck you and your fucking macho I’ve-got-balls-bigger-than-the faces on Mount Rushmore! I’ve been taking care of myself for the past twenty one years without your help, and I’m pretty sure I can keep doing so.”

  “Really? You think you could have taken on a grown man last night while you were naked and in the shower without anything to help you? You’re lucky you got out when you did.”

  “I’m a lot stronger than you think.”

  Once the word vomit started, I couldn’t stop it. “Yeah, I find that so believable, Kat, when you weren’t able to fend off your attacker a few years ago.”

  The moment I said the words, I wanted to take them back. The look on her face was palpable. I’d pretty much just accused her of allowing herself to be raped, and spilled the beans to Beaver in the process. I watched as the emotions played through Kat’s eyes in a matter of seconds… confusion, hurt, anger, and finally, nothing. She looked completely stoic and impassive. She stepped forward and pulled her hand up and back. I knew it was coming and I didn’t stop her from doing it. I was a bastard and I deserved this. Her open palm came across my cheek with a loud smack, and my face jerked to the side. If I wasn’t already feeling so numb after the words I just spewed out, I’m sure I’d have felt the sting on my skin.

  “Get out,” she said in a deadly, calm voice.

  “Kat, baby, whatever Timber just said, I’m sure he didn’t mean it. Let’s just sit down. I’ll make some coffee, and we can figure out what we need to do.”

  I turned my face in her direction. Her eyes were glistening with unshed tears.

  “No, I don’t want coffee, I don’t want to talk, I want him out of here.”

  She turned on her heels and marched into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. I heard the lock click and I couldn’t help thinking, why didn’t she do that last night while she was showering? I looked at Beaver, and he just shook his head.

  “Sorry, man.”

  “It’s alright.” I started walking toward the door, but stopped. “Before I leave, I have to ask. Was there anything weird about last night? New customers, anyone taking special interest in her, or stuff out of place?”

  “No, everything was just the same as always. The only thing that I saw wrong was that the lock on the back door downstairs had been busted off. I’m assuming that’s how whoever it was got in.”

  “Probably. Listen, I’m just going to go take a walk. I’ll be back after a bit. Stay with her until I get back.”

  “I wasn’t plannin’ on leaving, but I’m not sure she wants you around right now.” He gave me a skeptical look.

  Scrubbing my hand down my face and feeling exhausted from the lack of sleep, I said, “She’ll get over it. I was a shit and shouldn’t have said what I did, but I’m not leaving her. Not right now with someone out there creeping around. When I said I was going to be on her, I meant it. Kat needs someone to keep her safe.”

  “And you’re volunteering yourself?” Beaver didn’t sound pleased.

  “If you want to call it that.” I had no plans of explaining myself to him. I wasn’t volunteering myself for Kat duty. How do you volunteer yourself for something that was a necessity?

  “What was that all about with another attacker? Has she been hurt before?”

  I couldn’t say anything without digging a deeper hole. “It’s her story to tell.”

  I turned and went out the door before he could say anything else. When I got outside, the sun was bright so I put my sunglasses on. I had no idea what direction I was headed. Each step I took further away from her, the worse I felt. After I was a good four blocks away, my head was a mess. I had thought some fresh air would have given me some perspective when in fact it was the opposite.

  The only time my mind felt like it wasn’t in a fog was when I was with her. How could something feel so foreign and yet right at the same time? There was no way I was already that attached to Kat. My feet picked up their pace. Another block down and I had gone from walking, to jogging, and now sprinting. My feet were hitting the cement with such force that the soles felt like they were being stuck with dozens of needles. My lungs were tight, and trying to pull in a full breath of air was impossible. The pain felt good. The pain made feel like I had something else to focus on instead of the fucked up world waiting for me back at that apartment. Up ahead I knew there was a bench that sat in front of a deserted stretch of beach. It was covered in sharp pebbles, so most people gravitated further down where there was actual sand.

  I plopped down on the rickety wood, my chest heaving. The burning sensation was running deeper than just my lungs. Staring out at the water, visions began flashing in front of my eyes. Kat running down a dark sidewalk being stalked by some stranger… then I saw Holt, gasping for air. There was a massive hole in his chest, and it was spurting blood. My mind went back to Kat and the stranger now holding her up by her neck against a wall while his hips pumped forward, her screams silent. Holt’s own mouth was opening and closing, gurgling and choking on his own blood. Hazel eyes were looking up at me, lifeless and empty, while long dark brown hair fell over my arms. Then they were both gone.

  I fell from the bench onto my knees and threw up. Every violent memory and image that my imagination took me through played over and over each time I heaved. I had nothing left. My whole body was spent from a lack of sleep, running, and thinking about her. Finally I stood, weak-legged. It was dark out and I’d been out here for at least two hours in pure hell. I needed to go to her. I had to put my hands on her and make sure that she was in one piece. It was a slow walk back. I tripped over my own feet a few times, still deep in thought. The locals that passed me probably thought I was three sheets to the wind.

  Walking into The Hole, Beaver was sitting at his usual post. He didn’t question me as I made my way to the back hall. I passed Ed, who was behind the bar serving customers. I think he said something but I didn’t hear him. I was pretty sure I had tunnel vision and Kat was who was at the end. Nobody else existed. Climbing the last few stairs, I briefly considered knocking but then said fuck it. She could throw me out after I saw her.

  Throwing open the door, I saw her sitting at he
r kitchen table with her legs folded under her, and Mel was standing at the stove with a mug and tea kettle. Both froze as they stared wide eyed at me in the doorway. The three of us were frozen in time. Mel was watching me, I was watching Kat, and Kat’s eyes were scrutinizing every inch of me. Mel started moving towards me, but Kat rose from her chair and came forward first. There was a softness about her as she approached me. I must’ve looked terrible, but I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. She neared me then stopped directly in front of me. My head was tilted down, but I could see that she was watching me wearily. Kat’s hazel eyes weren’t lifeless like I’d let myself believe. Something passed between us and I was certain she knew where my head was. She could see the shadows hidden inside of me. In this moment, I felt like we were connected. I felt her fear and she felt my demons.

  Mel’s voice penetrated whatever was passing between us. “Want me to kick him out?”

  Kat didn’t even speak. She simply shook her head no. I heard Mel sigh. “Okay, honey, I’m going to go downstairs then and help out Ed if you think you’re okay.” As she brushed past me, she muttered, “If you hurt her, it will be the last thing you do.”

  Not breaking eye contact with Kat, I said, “I’m not going to hurt her, never again. You have my word.” Even though I said it to Mel, my words were for Kat’s ears.

  We stood there alone, still in the doorway. I reached up and brushed a few strands of hair from her face and tucked them behind her ear. “I didn’t mean it.”

  A stray tear fell from her eye and my thumb caught it before it left her chin. “Don’t say anything like that to me again.” Her voice was firm but I could hear the sadness behind each word. I slid my hand behind her neck and brought her body into mine. As I wrapped my arms tightly around her, she buried her face into my chest. I felt like I could finally take in a full breath of air. I breathed in the sweet coconut scent of her hair as I ran my fingers through it.

  In this moment, I felt something for this girl. I cared deeply for her, and more than just a friend. Loosening my grip, I pulled her over to her bed and we both laid down facing each other. Because it was only a twin we were as close as we could get. Her legs were entwined with mine, and she had one hand tucked under her head, while the other was resting on my ribs. My own hands were in a similar position except I had one combing through her hair. She sighed contentedly.

  “You look terrible,” she said quietly.

  I gave her a slight smile. “I feel like shit.”

  “You didn’t sleep last night, did you?”

  “I couldn’t. I was watching you to make sure you were comfortable.”

  Her green-brown eyes became tender. “Sleep, Timber. I’m watching you now.”

  Those words cut straight to my heart. Kat was working her way inside of me, making me feel whole. I hadn’t felt whole in over a year. She was healing me from the inside out and she didn’t even realize it. Leaning in, she kissed the tip of my nose and brought her fingers down over my eyes, making me shut them. I think she knew that if she didn’t force me to, I would have continued to watch her. It didn’t take long, being enveloped by her small body and smell, for sleep to take me over. For the first time in months, I didn’t dream.

  Chapter Twelve

  Kat

  Timber wasn’t kidding when he said he would be ‘on me’. He has barely let me out of his sight over the last week. He even made me come to his work to hang out with Slim and Uncle Roger, twice, when Mel or Beaver had something else going on and couldn’t be with me. I thought it was total overkill but I couldn’t not pacify him. When he’d come back from wherever he was after I’d kicked him out, he looked completely wrecked. I somehow knew that if I turned him away, he would have retreated into himself and I wasn’t sure I’d get him back. His eyes had been bloodshot and tired, and it was more than just sleep deprivation. It was fear. I once again did what came naturally with him and let him hold me. I don’t think he realized that he had sagged into me and I had been fighting to hold him up. He had been even more lost than I suspected. It broke my heart.

  We were now lying out on the beach and I was smiling with my eyes closed because I could feel his eyes on me. “What are you looking at, Nelson?”

  “Your fucking smoking hot body in that black bikini.”

  I opened my eyes and looked at him. He was grinning at me, and I couldn’t help the laugh that came from my mouth. “You’re so full of shit, but whatever. I enjoy it when your eyes are on me.”

  His look became dark and his eyes hooded. I was on my back and he had been on his stomach while we enjoyed the heated rays beating down on us. He moved so he was blocking the sun from my face and I didn’t have to squint. “I’d like to put other things on you.”

  I reached up and slapped his chest. “You talk so dirty.”

  “Only with you, Kat.” He laughed.

  He brought his mouth down onto mine, gently kissing me. This was a soft kiss. Not greedy and hungry, but sensual and explorative. His tongue licked my lower lip and I opened to him. His upper body came over and rested on top of my chest. His skin touching my bare skin felt incredible. He was warm and I felt my nipples harden under the loose fabric of my bikini. I wanted him to feel them brushing his chest. Opening my mouth a little more, his tongue swept inside and massaged mine. The seconds slipped by and my desire to have him take every part of my body as his became a living, breathing thing.

  I craved him. I wanted to feel his hands all over me, touching me in places that I’d been afraid to let someone touch again. The sweet ministrations of his tongue probing inside my mouth simulated what I wanted his lower half to be doing. Timber propped himself up by his forearms on either side of my head, and moved to rest in between my legs.

  “Oh, God, you’re so warm.” His voice came out rough.

  I moaned as my hips rose to feel his erection rub me where I was on fire. My body was covered in goose bumps. Timber rolled his hips, putting more pressure on my already swollen clit.

  “Please don’t stop,” I begged.

  “Not on your life. You’re fucking beautiful like this.”

  I had been gripping his shoulders. I dragged my fingers down his back, leaving nail marks, I’m sure. When I reached the waistband of his swim trunks, I slid my fingers inside. I felt him flex forward, and he groaned. Just as I was on the edge of the cliff and ready to fall into oblivion, someone cleared their throat. Timber froze and looked up at the person standing by our heads.

  “I’d really appreciate it if you two would take that somewhere more private. There are children out here, ya know.”

  It was Mrs. Carlisle, and apparently her whole family, enjoying the weekend before the Fourth of July. Her son and daughter were running around us screaming, playing and throwing sand. We must have been so immersed in each other that we didn’t even notice.

  I felt my cheeks heat, and Timber let out a slight chuckle. “Sorry, we didn’t realize.”

  “Apparently.” She stuck her nose in the air as she grabbed her children and moved further down the beach.

  “Boy, she has a stick up her ass.”

  I covered my face with my hands. “Oh my gosh. I can’t believe I forgot we were out here with people around.”

  Timber sat back and pulled my hands down. “Don’t be embarrassed.” He shrugged. “If she was in my position, watching you about to cum, she wouldn’t have noticed anything else either.”

  My mouth dropped. How could he talk so brazenly to me? “I wasn’t about to cum.”

  He gave me a knowing look and one eyebrow raised up. “Kat, this isn’t my first rodeo. When a girl is panting, grinding on my dick so much that I don’t even have to move, and moaning my name, she is definitely about to cum.”

  My face was for sure enflamed now. Was I calling out his name? I very well might have been since I’d been so into it. I’ve never let go that much before and as amazing as it felt, I’d have to make sure we were behind closed doors the next time something like this happened. Even jus
t the idea of it happening again made my stomach flutter. Before, I would have questioned whether or not I’d be able to let go enough to let him take my body that far, but it was clear he could make everything around us disappear.

  I moved to sit up, bringing my legs together and pulling a towel over my lap. The friction of closing my legs caused my body to shiver. I was still buzzing with need.

  Timber was watching me closely. “I can take care of that. You weren’t finished and I know you’re feeling it right now.”

  “I’m fine, and there’s nothing to take care of.”

  He stood and helped me up. “When we get back to my place, I’ll make sure to run a cold shower for you.”

  He laughed as I chased him off the beach all the way to my car. Before we climbed inside, I looked over the roof and soaked in his gorgeous smile. It occurred to me in that moment that I hadn’t seen Timber this carefree before. It warmed my heart and I only hoped I could help keep the shadows out from behind his eyes.

  *********************************************************************

  When we’d gotten home to his place, we both took a shower to wash all the sand off our bodies. Timber begged me to let him shower with me, but I told him to get a life and locked him out of the bathroom. He threw out a few empty threats about taking the door off the hinges and saying that he was going to make me pay for it in cookies and kisses.

  I was relishing his lighthearted side. When I had seen him in the bar a couple of months ago for the first time, I had thought he was a hard ass. I had automatically put him in the category of douchebag, and assumed he was in town for other reasons. Those other reasons couldn’t have been further from the truth. He’d had no idea what I’d gone through. He’d wanted to save me from it. He’d threatened to kill whoever it was that did it to me. And the scary reality is… I think he really would. But if he found out it was Adam, would he still choose me? Would a lifelong friendship beat out possible feelings with me… a girl that he hasn’t yet figured out if anything is going on between us? I don’t know why, but I find that even scarier than the possibility of seeing Adam again.