by Carnal, MJ
The late afternoon breeze feels like heaven. The sun is still shining but the extreme heat of the summer is fading. The waves roll in the background, calming my nerves. The beach is packed with surfers and sun worshipers. Music blankets the air. Los Angeles is beautiful. This is the first time I’ve seen it through these eyes. I’m happy. I can’t help but giggle as I step into the limo that Damien sent to pick me up.
The butterflies take flight as soon as the car rolls forward. My nerves are in complete control for a minute and I need to calm down. I wonder if he’s spoken to his manager about us. I asked him to give me a little time to think. Part of me is hoping he hasn’t said anything yet. I’d like to be there when he does. I need Joshua to see that I’m serious about this. I need him to see how much Damien means to me.
This is the perfect night for an outdoor concert. As we pull up to the Hollywood Bowl, I see Steve and Lily waiting for me. I have to take a few calming breaths before I step out into the real world. They know I’ve seen Damien but that’s all they know. I don’t have much else to report. They’ll both be happy for me so I don’t fully understand my hesitation. I guess if I admit it to myself, then it becomes real. As soon as we go public, my life will have no privacy. No quiet. No peace.
“You look gorgeous, kiddo.” Steve greets me with his usual hug and kiss on the head. I couldn’t have picked someone more perfect for my sister. If I had created someone with everything she deserved all in one package, it would’ve been Steve Wainwright, hands down.
“Hi.” I smile when he eyes the limo and gives me that familiar big brother eyebrow raise.
“New wheels?” His smirk is adorable.
“What? Did you drive here yourselves? Lil, he doesn’t think you deserve a limo?” I giggle as I hug my sister.
“Hey, I bought her Moretti’s house. She’s lucky I didn’t drive her here on the back of a moped.” Lily hits Steve’s arm. They’re so in love. It makes me gag. It also makes me insanely jealous.
“Damien has us set up with backstage passes. Let’s head back before the show starts. I can’t wait to see his ugly mug.” Steve pulls us both through the crowd to the back entrance. He smiles as he shows security his tickets.
The guy standing guard in back looks like one of those crazy guys that pulls airplanes in those strong man competitions. He’s enormous, bald and dressed head to toe in black. There is no way in hell that I would ever mess with him. When he meets my eyes, there’s no emotion in his at all. I smile. I feel a little better knowing someone so menacing is guarding what’s so important to me. He nods slightly. I may have imagined it. Either way, I’m happy he’s here.
“Seymour, I’ve got three people out here that say they’re guests of D’s. Want me to send them back? Or hold them here?” He talks into his headset.
I can’t help but fidget. This will be the first time I’ll meet the legendary Joshua Seymour. I’ve heard stories and imagine him to be as daunting as Mr. Personality here holding us back from the stage.
Steve’s face is grim. “Is all this security really necessary? It’s a band, not the president.”
“You’d be surprised by all the crazy shit that goes down at these things. We’ve had to up our security detail since Harley started getting threats.” Mr. Biceps actually looks worried for a minute.
“Threats?” Lily leans into Steve.
My heart is pounding. I haven’t heard anything about this. I imagine their life on the road is pretty crazy. I know women throw themselves at them everywhere they go. I know cameras follow them, the highest bidder getting the best shot. I’ve never given much thought to anything more than that. My stomach churns. Have people threatened Damien? My palms are suddenly sweating.
A blond man dressed in khakis and a dress shirt steps out from the hallway and smiles at Mr. Muscles. He doesn’t look much older than Damien. His sleeves are rolled up, displaying a Rolex covered in diamonds. The thing has to be worth more than my car and everything I own in my apartment. He smiles and his face softens. Dimples dip in his cheeks. His face is spattered with freckles. He looks like one of the guys Steve hangs out with. The tall one that’s married to the doctor. Their names have completely escaped me.
He extends his hand to Steve. “You must be Steve. The resemblance is pretty astounding. I’m Joshua Seymour.”
“Nice to meet you.” Steve shakes his hand. “This is my fiancé, Lily and her sister, Mia.”
Joshua freezes. His eyes roam over me, finally settling on my face. His face pales. For just one second, he loses his composure. I feel like I’m going to lose my dinner. “It’s very nice to meet you. The band is back here warming up. They usually zone out right before a show. I’ll take you back so you can say hello before they go on.”
Backstage is crazy. There are people everywhere. The opening act is doing a sound check and the lighting and sound crews are frantic. The excitement buzzes through my veins. I’m standing in the center of Damien’s world. I’m getting a glimpse of his life that I haven’t seen before. It’s an adrenaline rush. The nerves leave my body and are replaced with joy.
Damien looks up as I walk in. Holy shit. The man is a god. His ripped jeans hug his hips like they were made for his body. His white tee is almost painted on, showing his six pack underneath. I can’t breathe as he walks toward me. His smile is blinding. I’m a goner. How I ever thought I could stay away from this man is beyond me. He’s beautiful. Sex appeal rolls off his shoulders.
“Mia.” He whispers in my ear as he hugs me. His voice caresses me. “You are so fucking beautiful.”
He pulls away from me and our eyes lock. His remind me of the ocean. They’re the brightest aqua I’ve ever seen. The electricity sparks between us. The rest of the room has disappeared and we’re alone. This minute is just for us. His hands cup my face and he leans in. My body moves on its own accord, meeting him halfway, melting into him. Sparks explode behind my eyes every time our lips touch. It’s powerful and intimate. I’m lost to him. Our tongues meet and he deepens the kiss. His hands tangle in my hair, holding me impossibly close. There isn’t an inch between us. I want more. I want it now, right here. Fear be damned.
A throat clears and we jump apart. “What the fuck is this?” Joshua’s face is red and his hands are balled into fists.
“Josh, this is Mia. My Mia.” Damien puts his arm around my shoulder.
“Fuck.” He starts to pace. “Don’t be stupid, Damien. We’ll talk about this later.”
“There’s really nothing to talk about.” He kisses my temple.
“What about Oksana?” Josh is rubbing his temples.
“I don’t give a shit about her. You know that, Josh.”
“You told me to spin this story. Think long and hard before you do something stupid. You’re three seconds away from being dropped by the label. Don’t fuck this up for everyone.”
“Stop.” Harley puts his hand up and all eyes turn to him. “The label drops him, they drop us all. They’d be completely stupid to do that. We see the jets and the cars. We bought those for them. No way will they give that up. We’ve got a show in a few and we need to focus. Josh, show our guests to their seats. We’ll talk tomorrow.”
Damien smiles at me. “I’ll see you after the show. Meet me in my dressing room.”
I just nod. It won’t be long until he’s back out on the road. Tonight, he’s mine.
Chapter 7
Fear suffocates me, I can’t take a breath
The last glimpse of light, the moment of death – Liquid Regret The crowd is alive. The screaming sends an adrenaline rush through my veins. It’s the same high I used to get when I would shoot up. If I’m honest with myself, I’ve replaced one addiction with another my whole life. It’s probably the reason I continue to cover my body in tattoos. Sure, I love the art. But it covers my scars. The darkest time in my life.
The lights go dark. I listen to the screams. It’s heaven. I was born for this. Max is pounding on his drums. Encore number two. I never dreamed it
would be like this. We’ve saved our most popular song for last. Without Novocain starts and the crowd goes crazy. My voice is scratchy now. The two hours on stage have taken their toll.
I can see Mia in the front row. She’s staring, wide eyed. Tonight will be different. No lines of women for me tonight. Or any other night. I’d trade my left nut to be buried deep in her gorgeous body. I won’t push her. Jesus, I hope she wants me too. Only another two minutes until I leave this stage and head to my dressing room. There will be no meet and greet. The only meeting I’m having is with Mia. Clothing optional.
When the song ends, we’re rushed off stage. The security detail flanks Harley, keeping him separated from the crowd. The last few months have been crazy. I used to joke about wanting a stalker. It’s not funny anymore. It’s fucking scary. Some bitch has latched onto him and is just crazy enough to try some bullshit. It started simply enough. Cards, notes, the occasional gift. Nothing was signed but we knew they were all from her. The same words, the same perfume. A few weeks later, Della had to call the police in the middle of the night. Someone tried to get in their house and left the backdoor open when they left. Josh upped the security detail at their house. The security system was upgraded. Everything is being done to keep Harley safe. People are fucking crazy.
I throw myself on the couch in my dressing room, chugging a bottle of water. The heat onstage is intense. I’m covered in sweat so I take my shirt off. I need to cool off before Mia shows up. Thoughts of her make my heart speed up. I’m completely pussy whipped.
I have no concept of time when I’m on stage. Everything is blocked by song and set. I just sing until they tell me to stop. It’s an intense work out and I leave exhausted and fulfilled. I miss being out there every night but the break is nice. It’s not long before we hit the road again. Twenty more cities. Then I’ll have to get my shit together. I’ll find a house and settle down. I’ll get joint custody of Xander for the months we aren’t on tour. I’ll be normal. And I can concentrate on a relationship with Mia without all the hype of the paparazzi. It’ll be nice to wake up in the morning and know Josh isn’t going to be banging on my hotel room door.
I jump when a hand touches my chest. I didn’t hear her come in. Fuck. Her hair is windblown, her cheeks pink from the breeze. Her eyes are bright and excited. She sees through all the layers of shit and can see the real me. She could bring me to my knees with a simple smile.
“You were amazing.” She straddles my lap. The minute I feel her heat, I’m hard. “Damien the rock star is hot.”
I’d laugh but I’m afraid to move. She’s never been this aggressive and I don’t want her to stop. Her chest rubs against mine and she licks my neck. One long smooth stroke. Her hands run up my arms and stop at my shoulders. I shiver. She smirks. She knows she’s got me. Right now, I’m totally ok with that. She rolls her hips, rubbing against my cock. Holy shit.
My hands instinctively move to her hips, guiding her against me. She bites her lip and tips her head back. Her breathing is short and choppy. This feels too good. I need more.
“Mia.” She shakes her head, stopping me from saying any more. Her lips crash against mine, claiming my mouth. Her tongue is aggressive, owning me. I feel the button on my jeans give way before I realize what she’s doing. Her hand slides into the waist band of my boxers. I tense for just a second. She’s not like the others. She isn’t here because I’m a rock star. She’s here because I’m Damien. All my fear is wiped away as she cups my hard shaft. I gasp. Her hand is like fire. I’ve wanted this forever. “Shit.”
“Is this ok?” She’s blushing. Her eyes are wide as she waits for my answer.
“Fuck, yes it’s ok.” I push her hair back, tangling it in my hands and pulling her into me. “I’ve wanted you forever.”
“Then take me.” Her hips grind against me. If she keeps this up, it won’t last long. I need to take control.
I flip her onto her back, pulling her to the edge of the couch. Her dress makes it easy for me to get to what I want. Her black, lace thong against her pale skin takes my breath away. I dip a finger between her folds and she’s soaked. I need to be inside her. I need it more than I need to breathe.
“Are you sure?” If she says no, my balls are going to explode. My fingers graze her clit and she moans. Fuck.
“I’ve never been this sure of anything. Stop talking and make love to me.” She reaches for my erection, wrapping her hand around it and pulling once, twice. Shit.
I have to taste her. I pull her panties to the side and lick up her lips, ending at her clit with a circle. She cries out. I suck her hardened nub into my teeth and bite it lightly. Her body jolts at the sensation. I’ve never cared about my partner getting off. I’m a selfish son of a bitch. But Mia’s different and I need her to come. I need her to come a lot.
“That feels so good.” She grabs my hair and pulls. I’ll take all my cues from her. I need to know every inch of her body. I pull her clit between my teeth again and she throws her head back, slamming her eyes closed.
“No way, baby. Eyes on me.” Her emerald eyes lock with mine and I flick my tongue against her, speeding up with every lick. Her legs begin to shake. She bites her lip and tries to pull away. Not a chance. She’s close. I whisper to her, my voice rough from the show. “Let go, Mia.”
I slide one finger into her, pressing on the spot I know will make her shatter. My tongue continues its assault. She gasps, grabbing at the cushions on the couch. Her nails dig into the fabric and she screams. Her taste explodes in my mouth. It’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever tasted. I’ll never get enough of her.
“Please. I need you.” She’s breathless, her hair splayed on the cushions like a halo. She’s pulling on my clothes, almost desperate. She’s not alone. I need to be buried deep. I need to feel her wrapped around me. Now that I’ve had a taste, I need more. I need it all.
I pull a condom from my bag and pull my jeans off. She doesn’t move, just watches me. Her eyes burn into me. I would die for this woman. She has no idea what she does to me.
“Let me.” She sits up and takes the condom from me. It might be the longest minute of my life. I’m hyperaware of everything. The tear of the wrapper, her hands on me, the heat of her gaze. She rolls it on, taking more time than I can stand. She giggles when I growl.
Once it’s on, I’m ready to attack. Mia has other plans. She stands and pushes me onto the couch. She reaches behind her, untying the string keeping her dress at her shoulders. It falls to her waist. She’s not wearing a bra. Jesus, she’s the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Her breasts are perfect. They’re enough for my hands, perky, pink. Her nipples stand at attention. I want to sink my teeth into them.
Sounds from the dressing room next door hardly register as she comes closer to me. Her eyes widen and she looks behind me at the wall. She laughs and covers her mouth. I shake myself out of the Mia trance I’m in. The moans next door get louder and a female voice yells out Chance’s name. I want to kill him. I’m terrified Mia will run. Instead, she looks at me with a devious grin and straddles my lap.
“That’s a huge turn on.” She kisses my neck and listens to the screams of passion next door. “But I think we can do better.”
Without any kind of warning, she slides down my shaft, taking all of me in one stroke. I see stars. She’s hot. Her walls squeeze me. When she begins to move, I think I may die of pleasure. She grabs her nipples as she bounces up and down on my cock. She’s wet and the sound echoes around the dressing room. I can’t stand this slow torture. I need it fast. I need to hear her scream as I pound into her.
I grab her hips, stilling her above me. Her hooded eyes meet mine. I slide down to get better footing. It’s my turn. I pick up the pace, moving in and out as quickly as I can without losing my mind. She starts to moan. It’s the most erotic sound I’ve ever heard.
“More.” Her head falls back, her mouth open in ecstasy.
I stand, our bodies still attached and carry her to the vanity. I s
et her down and kiss her with everything I’ve got. I’ve never loved anyone before. I imagine this is how it feels. I’ll scare the shit out of her if I tell her.
She leans forward and bites my shoulder, pulling me out of my day dream. I look at her and I know she knows. My strokes are long and slow. She leans against the lighted mirror. She wraps her legs around me, deepening my strokes. My body rubs against her clit and she starts to pant. Making her come is my new favorite thing to do.
“I’m so close,” she whispers, as she digs her nails into my arms. “Make me come, Damien.”
Challenge accepted. I pull her legs up, over my shoulders. I slam into her and she screams. I put my thumb on her clit. I can feel her pulse. She’s swollen and ready. “Ready?” I ask her, smiling as she can’t answer me. I pinch the sensitive bundle of nerves and she detonates. Her orgasm rushes from her, covering my shaft, running down my legs. It’s the hottest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.
“Damien!” She screams my name. I’ve never heard anything more fucking sexy.
Chapter 8
I’ve never felt anything like this. Every stroke brings me closer to orgasm. I’ve already had one. I’ve never believed in multiple orgasms. Damien is proving me wrong.
I can hear how wet I am. I can hear Chance next door having sex. It’s so erotic. It brings me that much closer to coming. This feels so good. We fit together perfectly. His pace is frantic and he rubs against my clit with each stroke.
I dig my nails into his arms and he looks at me. His aqua eyes see right into my heart. He’s gorgeous. He smiles and I can’t talk. I’m so close. Warmth begins to spread through my belly. He’s hitting my g spot, he’s touching my clit, he’s too much.
My legs shake and I can’t stop them. The most powerful orgasm I’ve ever had rips from my body. Light sparks behind my eyes. I scream his name so loud and I don’t care. His pace never slows. He just stares at me, eyes hooded and gorgeous, and pumps into me so hard I don’t ever want him to stop.
