by Carnal, MJ
When he begins to move, I lock my ankles behind his back. My body is on fire. The door shakes on its hinges as he pumps into me. He bites my neck, then soothes it with kisses. His tongue traces my neck, my jaw. I feel him breathing in my ear and I shiver.
He fills me completely. My body was made for him. He pulls almost all the way out and pushes back in. It feels unbelievable. Just when I think it can’t get better, he pulls all the way out and circles my clit with the head of his penis.
“Oh my god.”
“You like that?” He does it again and I start to tremble. “Oh yeah. You do like that. I’ll take you right to the edge but I want you to come on my cock.”
His voice is my undoing. My orgasm is building. My body is on high alert. I’m going to explode. He pulls his cock away, leaving me begging for more. “Please, Damien. I’m so close.”
He circles my clit one last time and slides back in just as I come apart. My orgasm makes me scream. My walls tighten, milking him. He moans and bites my shoulder. His legs shake. He’s fighting hard not to come. He takes a deep breath and starts to move again.
His pace is more frantic. “Your pussy feels so good. So wet. I want to feel your come dripping down my legs like it did backstage.” He presses his thumb to my clit, his dick pounding into me. “I want to hear you scream.”
It’s too much. I’m like a live wire. The electricity between us sparks. My pupils are blown with pleasure. His breathing is erratic, his eyes almost closed in ecstasy. I come so hard, I may pass out. I throw myself against him as my legs loosen from his waist. I’m completely at his mercy.
“That’s my girl. Do you feel that?” He grunts as he continues his assault. “I was made to fuck you. Only you, Mia.”
I can feel my pleasure pour from my body. No one has ever made me feel so good, so alive, so on fire. I shove against him, pushing away from the door. He momentarily loses his balance as I drop to the floor and pull him back into me. I rip the condom from him and take him into my mouth. He’s already so close but I need to taste him. I need him to lose his mind. I need him to feel a fraction of what he makes me feel.
“Holy fuck.” He braces his hands on the door behind me. I take him all the way into my mouth, humming as he hits the back of my throat.
I hold onto his perfect ass as he fucks my mouth. My other hand finds that sensitive spot just under his balls and his legs almost give out. I press and feel his dick swell. His whole body convulses as he empties himself into my mouth.
He roars as he comes. “Fuck, Mia.” It’s the hottest thing I have ever heard. I did this to him and I’m proud of myself. I smile as I lick him clean.
He drops to his knees and pulls me to his mouth. His kiss is possessive. He already owns me. He owns every part of me. He moans when my tongue enters his mouth. The sound is heaven. I’m ready for round two. Just like the last time we said goodbye, we won’t be getting any sleep. Only this time is different. This time, I plan on spending every second making him understand how much he truly means to me.
The morning sun is my enemy. My stomach rolls at the thought of Damien leaving. He opened up to me last night and told me everything. He was emotional and broken as he explained the need to keep up appearances with Oksana. He praised Max for subjecting himself to the lie. He warned me about paparazzi and what life might be like. I didn’t care about any of it. I’m so completely in love that I will do whatever it takes to be a part of him. I know he feels the same way. He didn’t say the words I long to hear. But everything he did say, every emotion he let me see, confirmed what I think I’ve known all along. Our week last year meant just as much to him as it did to me.
“I never thought I could feel so high and so low at the same time.” He stretches his arms above his head. His body is perfection. His arms are covered in tattoos, his chest and abs covered in muscle. His dark hair is tangled and standing up in every direction after spending the night having the hottest sex of our lives.
“I can feel the darkness creeping into my heart.” I giggle and cry at the same time.
“Don’t cry. We’re in Seattle at Rock Fest next weekend. We’ll get you there. I’ll get my own room. We’ll make this work.”
“Won’t Oksana be there?” I can’t help the tears. I’m such a girl.
“I’ll talk to her. She’ll understand as long as I promise to keep the lie alive. She’s crazy but she’s not heartless.” He rubs my back as I lay my head on his chest. It’s going to be the longest week of my life.
“Thank you.” I rub my hand over his abs. He shivers.
“For what?” He kisses the top of my head. Falling in love with him was so natural. It was as easy as breathing.
“For calming me down in the elevator. For making me see we were worth the risk. For picking me.”
“Baby, I would pick you every single time.”
As the alarm goes off on his phone, we hold each other. My heart is in my throat. His hold is tight and I don’t complain. I don’t want him to ever let go. Walking him to the door makes my heart shatter.
“You’re everything to me, Mia.” He leans his forehead against mine. It’s all the contact we need. His eyes tell me everything. He loves me too.
I watch through the bedroom window as he drives away. The apartment is suddenly completely silent. I can’t breathe. I curl into a ball on my bed. I’m exhausted, emotionally and physically. It’s only a week and I made it a whole year before now. Of course, my heart feels so much more invested than it had before. My feelings are stronger. Sex changes everything. I knew that when I went backstage with exactly that in mind.
I’m in and out of sleep. My cell phone is on my nightstand but it’s silent. My tearstained cheeks burn, my eyes are on fire. I know I need to drag myself out of my bed, take a shower and get ready for tomorrow’s shift at work. Life goes on. I need to remind myself that I survive every day because I choose to and it’s ok to be sad. If I choose to be in his life, I need to get used to being away from him. Maybe I need to get in touch with Harley’s wife for some advice on how to survive. As the tears start again, I turn onto my stomach and bury my face in my pillow.
The bed dips and I jump. Steve puts his hand on my back and smiles. “Hey.”
I sit up and lean into him, letting go of every shred of sorrow. He holds me, rubs my back and rocks back and forth. Thank God he found my sister. Thank God he’s going to be my brother. He’s more than I could’ve asked for. I have no idea how long he’s held me. It could be five minutes, it could be an hour. I have no concept of time when I’m this emotional and exhausted.
“Why are you here?” My voice is hoarse.
“D called on his way out of town. Thought you might need some company.” His wink tells me he knows everything.
“Thank you.” I smile as he wipes the last of the tears from my cheeks.
“I wouldn’t be anywhere else tonight. You’re almost my sister. He’s blood. Family first. Besides, he sounded so pathetic I couldn’t say no.” Steve pulls me from the bed and pushes me toward the bathroom. “Get in the shower, you stink. I brought pizza. We’ll watch some terrible reality TV. Hurry.”
I laugh. “Fine. Anything but that dance shit you and Lily watch.”
“Blasphemy, woman. That show is sacred.” He laughs from the kitchen.
I smile at myself in the mirror. As brother in laws go, I hit the jackpot. I think I’ll keep him.
Chapter 11
Losing memory and hope every night, until I hold you again, life isn’t right.
I’m lost, It’s dark, I’m bleeding, I’m cold. I need your touch, I need your soul.
– Liquid Regret “Griff, heads up.” I throw Harley my notebook. I’ve spent the last three hours with my head buried in the pages, attempting to create our next masterpiece. The tour bus is like a second home but today it’s hard to get comfortable. The drive to Salt Lake City will take hours. I need the distraction. Anything to take my mind off of Mia. I can’t help but wonder what she’s doing. I hope
Steve is with her. He’s probably making her watch that piece of shit show that he and Lily are obsessed with. I chuckle when I picture Mia sitting through that.
Harley holds the notebook in his hands and continues to stare out the window. It’s always hard for him to leave Della but this time seems different. I make my way to where he’s sitting and sit across from him. He makes eye contact but doesn’t speak.
“What’s up?”
“Sorry, man.” He flips open the notebook but I reach forward and stop him.
“Griff, what’s wrong?” Years of friendship and I can read him like a book. “He’s scared.”
He leans forward and speaks in a hushed voice. “Del got a threatening letter. It was left at her office. I called her boss and resigned for her. I can’t handle this shit. I feel helpless.”
“Nobody saw who left it?” I will personally kill anyone that harms one hair on her head. She’s my family and no one fucks with my family.
“The receptionist said she was blond and skinny. Said she was nervous and kept looking around. She asked a couple times if Della was there. I don’t know, man. I want her to come on the road with us. I don’t like her alone in the house.”
“Why the fuck isn’t she on the bus?” I’m pissed.
“She’s gone to Santa Barbara with a couple friends. I tried to get her to cancel but you know Del. She’s hardheaded and independent. She said she isn’t going to let some crazy bitch control her life. I’ve got tracking devices on everything. I hired an extra guard. I don’t know what else I can do.” Harley rubs his hands on his jeans.
“She’ll be ok. We’ll get her on the bus in Seattle. She can’t say no if we tie her up and bring her against her will.” I laugh when Harley shakes his head. “Steve and Lil have a ton of room. She could stay there awhile. Until all this blows over.”
“Thanks, man. Enough about the crazy shit. How’s Mia?”
I grin like a big pussy. I’m whipped. “She’s the one. If I wasn’t engaged to Oksana, I’d marry her today.”
Harley laughs and I can’t help but join him. This whole thing is a clusterfuck, caused by my superb coping skills. Tomorrow I will talk to Oksana, today I act like it isn’t happening.
“How about her crazy friend? Laney is it? She seems cool. Have to keep Chance away from her. She’s exactly the type he fucks over.” He kicks the seat in front of him.
“Fuck you, Harley.” Chance laughs. “I’m too pretty for her. She says I’m not her type. She likes the pierced nipples and tattoos.”
Max lowers his sunglasses at the mention of nipples. This dysfunctional group is my family. I couldn’t be more proud.
Harley will be there to pick you up tomorrow. Don’t let Laney lick him. See you then, beautiful!
I’ve been waiting all week to send that text. I wish it could be me picking them up. But, as the face of the band, my entire day is scheduled with radio interviews and appearances. It’s probably good that Griffin goes anyway. He’s spent the entire week stressing out about his wife.
Counting the seconds.
Even her text messages put a smile on my face. We’ve been to four cities in the last five days. Two of the groupies wore the same perfume that she does. I was instantly hard. Nothing like meeting fans when my dick is throbbing in my pants. She has taken up residence in my brain. When I do sleep, I have the best dreams.
The shows have been flawless. We’re at the top of our game. The stadiums are sold out and record sales are off the charts. Joshua has been with us all week. We chose him as our manager because of how hands on he is. Even when he’s busting my balls, I wouldn’t trade him for anyone else in the world. The label has ceased all talks of canning me. Guess the engagement story is working. Unfortunately, that means we have to keep it up for a while.
Della and Oksana will be on the plane. Don’t freak. She’s fine with it.
I hold my breath waiting for her response. Mia’s cool. I assume the news won’t even shake her. Oksana and I have an agreement. As long as I keep my relationship with Mia behind closed doors, she won’t make a scene. Besides, she seems much more interested in Harley and Chance than she is me anyway. She’s crazier than shit. But if she stays quiet, I’m fine. Maybe I can slip some Prozac into some cheese. It works for dogs.
K. As long as we have time together.
She doesn’t get it. I lust her. I would give up this world for her. There isn’t anyone that will keep us apart. I will blow this entire rouse before I lose this girl. Honestly, I think it will be good for Oksana to meet Mia. Maybe it will help if she sees that this story isn’t good for me. If we’re unified, I can’t imagine that we won’t be able to say there was a breakup and we remain civil. This story brought her tons of attention. She’s gotten work again, despite her obvious addiction. Shit. Did I act like that? If I did, I was an asshole.
I should turn in early tonight but I know it’ll be hard to sleep knowing that tomorrow, I’ll be wrapped around Mia. We have a two hour drive by tour bus early in the morning. The music fest is a huge outdoor concert with ten different bands and two different stages. We were nobodies last year. This year, we headline. What a difference a year makes. I can’t help but smile. We worked hard and we made it. I pray that tomorrow is the one day of sunshine that Seattle gets during the year.
The ringing of the phone scares me. It’s Harley. “What’s up man?”
“I’m flying out at 7. Make sure Max is at the hotel at 10. I’ll drop Mia and Laney off to him.”
“Thanks for doing this, bro.”
“Just be pretty for those cameras.” Griffin loves to make fun of me. He knows I hate doing the appearances. “Our image depends on it.”
“Do me a favor? Don’t let Oksana close to Mia.”
Harley laughs and hangs up the phone. Wonder if it’s too late to cancel all the appearances tomorrow?
Chapter 12
She’s weird. There’s no other word to describe her. I pictured this larger than life, gorgeous, can’t take your eyes off her, model. She’s not any of that. She’s pretty. No question about that. But she’s way too skinny. Her eyes are rimmed with dark circles. Her blond hair is a mess. I’m trying to be discrete but I’m sure she knows I’m sizing her up. She did the same thing to me when I walked onto the plane.
While Harley talks to the pilot, I decide to kick back and enjoy. I’ve never been on a private jet. Heck, I’ve never really been anywhere. It smells like leather and fresh brewed coffee. My mouth waters. The white seats are comfortable and lie back so far, I feel like I’m in bed. Laney and I are facing Della and what I assume is Harley’s seat. The stewardess gave me a warm cloth when I got on the plane. It’s a little taste of heaven. I’m waiting to wake up from the dream I’m having.
Della’s head is buried in her book but she smiles at me when she sees me looking at her. She’s the beautiful one. Her olive complexion, her silky hair, her bright eyes. It’s what I would picture a model looking like. She winks at me and laughs. “I’m glad you’re coming with us.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to stare. I’m a little nervous about all this.” I sweep my hand in the air, tilting my head in Oksana’s direction. “I feel like the other woman.”
Della closes her book and leans forward. “Honestly babe, she won’t even remember you were on the plane. She’s totally strung out.” Her voice is barely a whisper. “She calls me Diane. I’ve known her for a few years. She either hates me or she’s that clueless. I’d bet on the latter.”
I frown. It’s sad. She’s throwing her life away. I’ve never been addicted to anything so I’m not the expert on it. I just can’t imagine someone with that much potential throwing it all way. She throws a fake smile my way. My return smile is genuine. I want to like her. It would make life easier. I just wish we weren’t all blanketed with this lie.
“Can I get you anything, Mia?” Harley’s voice startles me back. I shake my head no. Looking around this plane, I can’t imagine anything else I’d ever need.
“How about you?” It’s like I can see that lust rolling off Laney as she looks at Harley.
“Wine?” She’s using her sultry voice.
“I’ll get it.” Della jumps up, pointing to the seat so Harley will sit down.
Laney rolls her eyes. “Making your wife get it?”
Harley pulls something from his pocket and holds it up. “It’s my one year chip. It took me four years to get it. I’ve been sober two years next weekend.”
My eyes widen. Laney shifts in her seat. Kill me now. Harley just laughs and rolls it between his fingers. His smile meets his eyes. He’s breathtaking.
“It’s fine. Stop panicking. You can drink in front of me. Every single day is a struggle. But, it’s mine and I own it.” He puts the chip back in his pocket and takes a bottle of water from Della’s hands. “Thank you, gorgeous.”
I want to melt. Their love is so beautiful. He takes her hand and kisses her knuckles. Her head rests on his shoulder as we take off. There’s no one else in the world for either of them. That’s what I want. The kind of love that people would die for. The kind of love that everyone can see.
I lean back and try to relax. I’ve been on edge for a week. I can’t wait to see Damien. He’s occupied every second of my life since he crashed back into it. I have told my heart not to rush it. Damn thing has a mind of its own. My brain is a little smarter, but not by much. This weekend will give me a good glimpse of how things will be. It will also be a test of how strong I am. Seeing Damien with Oksana will be tough. I don’t think I’m a very jealous person. Still, I’ve never been in a situation like this. It’s completely screwed up.
What happened to the whole fairytale? What happened to the prince riding up on the horse and rescuing me from the tower? I imagined things so differently. I was convinced that Damien would find me someday. I’d hoped he would drop everything and pursue me until I was his. Instead, he ran into me by accident at a bar. A bar where the former drug addict took his recovering alcoholic friend. It made no sense that they were there. He’d pursued me but only because the elevator had broken down and trapped us inside. Holy shit. I can’t help but giggle.
