by Carnal, MJ
“Are you overthinking again?” Laney looks over and starts to laugh. She never knows what we’re laughing at but once she laughs, I laugh even harder.
“I was just feeling sorry for myself because I didn’t get the whole white horse, riding off into the sunset thing. But they were in a bar. The two people who should never, ever go into a bar. And it was the one we were in. What are the odds? And then my elevator trapped us inside. What are the odds of that?” My laughter continues. It’s a nervous habit that I do every time I overthink anything.
“Stop overthinking, Mimi. For once in your life, just take a chance. Not all fairytales have horses and sunsets. Some of them start in bars and end in elevators.” What would I do without her? Then she burps and reminds me I can’t take her anywhere.
Harley shakes his head and gets up. “Sexy, Lane. Real sexy.”
Della giggles. “Laney’s laugh is contagious. It’s kind of a cackle.”
Laney’s jaw drops and she huffs before she belly laughs again. Her laugh is exactly like a cackle. It’s not at all feminine and it’s loud. When we’re in public, everyone looks at us. She loves the attention. She can have it. I don’t want it. But I wouldn’t trade that part of her for anything.
Harley has moved and is sitting across from Oksana. She’s in tears and I can’t help but notice how affectionate he is with her. I’m stumped for a minute. Naturally, I stare. Can you blame me? She is definitely coming down from a high. She’s sweaty and nervous. He wipes her tears and holds her hands. His whispered voice is hard to make out but hers isn’t.
“Why can’t I have you?” She pouts.
He just smiles, his voice a little louder. “Because of her.” He points at Della and smiles.
“I’m sorry. I would kick her ass right now if I were you. That’s fucking ballsy. Why are you just sitting there?” Laney glares at Harley but directs her question at Della.
“Griffin’s the mother hen of the group. He’s not happy unless everyone’s happy. He’s made it his mission to try to save her. I think he sees so much of himself in her addiction.” She calmly looks at her husband and then back at us. “I’ve never doubted his feelings for me. Not even for a second. We’ve been together so long, I don’t know where he stops and I start. He’d never do anything to hurt me. She’s harmless. And if he can save her, then what an amazing gift that would be.”
My eyes fill with tears. Is this woman human? Everything about her is soft. Her skin, her voice, her heart. She’s got best friend potential. If I get to be with Damien, and this is the life we live, then I’ll be so happy to have her by my side.
“Shit. I see why he loves you. If you weren’t married, I’d propose right now.” Laney holds her glass up and clinks Della’s water bottle. “And you’re hot.”
“You’re all hot.” Harley sits down and puts his arm around his wife. “I say the four of us go check out the bedroom in the back.”
He laughs as Della punches him in the arm. “In your dreams, buddy boy.”
“Yeah. Mia here is too hung up on your fearless leader. And you couldn’t handle this. I’d tie you up and make you call me Mommy. You wouldn’t last a minute.”
“Laney.” My face is bright red and I’m looking around for the emergency exit. I may push her out. She just laughs at me and winks at Della. No fear.
Harley leans into her and whispers in her ear. “I’m faster and I’m stronger and I submit to no one. I’d ruin you, babe. And that just wouldn’t be fair to all the men you plan on torturing in the future.”
It’s possible Adelaine Jones just met her match. This trip is going to be interesting. Della just shakes her head and looks back down at her book. I want to be her when I grow up. She’s the strongest woman I’ve ever met.
A sense of dread comes over me as I lean back to close my eyes. I don’t know what it is but I can’t seem to shake it. I take a deep breath. Something isn’t right. I look around but everything seems perfectly abnormal. Exactly as it had been. Laney is laughing, Harley is giving her hell, Della is smiling and even Oksana seems to be settling into the trip. I need to stop with all the Criminal Minds marathons. My imagination is working overtime.
I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to this. The flash bulbs are blinding. I can see Max coming toward us and I smile. He’s so tall and handsome. I’m not sure what he has to gain from stepping into this story but I’m relieved he has. There’s something calming about him. He makes me feel safe. He towers over me and there’s comfort in that.
“Sorry about all this. They followed the tour bus in. Doesn’t matter which entrance we use. They’re everywhere.” Max hugs me and tucks my hair behind my ear. “How are you, Red?”
“I’m better now.” I giggle when he puts his arm around me. The cameras go crazy. “This is insane. Do you ever get used to it?”
“Sadly, they start to fade into the background. As long as they aren’t chasing you in a car or stepping right into your personal space, you learn to ignore them.” He picks up my suitcase and takes my hand. “Let’s head up and you guys can get settled.”
Laney raises her eyebrows as she takes in the beauty that is Max Callum. Hiding behind his drum set, he’s out of the spotlight. It’s a shame. He’s gorgeous. He’s got the old Hollywood movie star look. His jaw is square, his face chiseled. His blond hair is perfectly disheveled. You could get lost in his gray blue eyes. And his personality is just as beautiful. I wish Laney would settle down with someone like him. I know it’s a long shot. He’s clean cut and free of tattoos. Not at all her type but I can still dream.
When the elevator doors finally shut, I take a deep breath. “Thank you, Max.” I hug him.
“Anytime, Red. I needed a little more excitement in my life.” Max laughs and I know that no matter what ever happens, he will always be someone I call a friend. “We’ll head over to the show in a few hours. Settle in. Order some room service. Whatever you guys want. I’m right next door, so if you need anything, just knock.”
Chapter 13
You’ll call me sir as you shatter on cue
A flick of my tongue, I’ll own you. – Liquid Regret The crowd is massive. The fairgrounds are packed, bodies bumping, heat blazing. Both stages are in full swing. Bands are everywhere. It’s almost like a dream. Last year, this was us. The small acts were early in the day. The crowds are larger this year. The energy is buzzing. I’m having a hard time containing my excitement.
Part of it is that I’ll see Mia in just a few minutes. Max sent me a text when they left the hotel. My body is already on fire. I’ve missed her this week. Oksana arrived about an hour ago. We did the obligatory photos for the press, held hands, smiled. It’s all bullshit. Since I told her about Mia, she’s been distant. I’m not sure what it means but it makes it easier when she isn’t all over me. Thank God for small favors.
I always know the second the rest of the band arrives. There’s a shift in energy. The crowd screams and the photographers circle them like prey. The only privacy I’ve seen here is behind the B stage. It backs up into the woods and the last act there tonight is a local band that’s in the middle of a big scandal. It should be pretty quiet and may be my only chance to get Mia alone tonight.
“Max.” The flashbulbs are popping. Since he and Mia became ‘an item’, he’s had a ton of attention. He’s a superhero for doing this for me. He hates the spotlight.
Della and Harley join me as I stare Mia down. Della wraps her arms around me like she always does. Aside from Harley, she’s the closest person in the world to me. I would protect her with my life. With all the shit going on with Harley, I feel an overwhelming responsibility to protect her. She saved my life once. It’s time to return the favor.
As soon as Mia joins us, my heart starts to hammer behind my ribs. She smells amazing. Her green eyes are bright and happy. The pull to her is overwhelming. I want to hug her. I want to kiss her. Shit, I want to do a hell of a lot more than that. I step forward and hug Laney first. I need to make this look friendly a
nd not obvious. When I pull away, I fist bump Max. The vultures are circling. Mia tenses when I hug her. I’m trying. I really am. But it’s hard to act like her friend.
“You look gorgeous,” I whisper in her ear and she shivers. She’s mine. Hands down.
Max clears his throat and puts his arm around her. She smiles up at him. Part of me wants to kick his ass. I want to punch that smug smile off his face. She seems comfortable with him. I need to pull my head out of my ass. Green is not my color.
“You’re up in two hours. Sound check in one. Head on over to stage A and get situated backstage. They’ve got tents set up so find a seat and stay put.” Josh is barking commands, trying to herd us away from the cameras. We value our time before a show and the sooner we get out of the spotlight, the more we’ll all relax.
The word backstage is seriously a joke here. They have four white tents set up. Makeup and hair is set up in two and the other two have places to relax and stuff our faces with all kinds of shit that will slow me down on stage. The things artists ask for always make me laugh. I’m happy with a bottle of water and some fruit. Afterwards, I’ll stuff my face with pizza and fast food. Before, I need quiet and I need to hydrate.
I’ve spent the last ten minutes kicked back in a lounge chair with the makeshift air conditioner blowing at my feet. The sound check was quicker than I thought it would be. Sitting here, I have the perfect view of Mia and Laney, relaxing with glasses of champagne. Della joined them about five minutes ago and is telling them stories about the band. Hearing Mia’s laugh calms my nerves. I want to fast forward through the show and get her back to the hotel. I need to find a way to keep my brain and my heart on the same page. My brain knows what has to be done. My heart has a mind of its own and it’s completely out of control.
“It’s time.” Chance smiles down at me as he throws the guitar strap over his shoulder.
One more deep breath and I’m ready. I wink at Mia and follow Chance around to the side of the stage. Security is all around Harley as we line up to start the show. I miss the days of having a few minutes alone with the guys before we’re on.
“Ladies and Gentleman, Liquid Regret.” Joshua’s voice echoes as the screams start. I hear Max pounding on his drums, dry ice lifts from the stage, it’s eerie and I love it. Griffin and Chance run on stage as the lights change. I shut my eyes and I’m in the zone. The only thing that exists is my music. The only thing I know is lyrics. It’s all I am.
The guitars scream into the night. The wind picks up. I take the steps two at a time and take center stage. My voice is rough from being outside. It’s exactly the sound that the crowd responds to. It happens by accident but it is the best sound we get. I can see Mia in the front row, dancing with Della, Oksana and Laney. It’s like a dream, having the woman I’m crazy for enjoying my music just feet away from me.
“We’ve got a little something we’ve been working on.” The end of my sentence is drowned out by screams. “We’re gonna try it out for you tonight. You ready to get dirty?”
I can’t help but chuckle. I never knew what the word swoon actually meant. Now, I know and I can’t believe that people do it over me and the rest of these bastards that are up on this stage.
On your knees, your mouth is home
Your body, your mind, your soul I own
you moan, you soar, you writhe, you scream
This is real. A hot, wet dream.
You’ll call me sir as you shatter on cue
A flick of my tongue, I’ll own you
We wrote the lyrics on the tour bus two nights ago. It was effortless and fell together easier than anything we’ve ever written. Our usual lyrics are dark, cold. This song, shit. It’s Mia. I want to own her. I want to own every single inch of her.
Our set is over before I know it. The crowd is spent, sweating, turned on. It’s exactly how I like to leave them. The lights go dark, security is on stage rushing us off. There are no encores tonight. I need to get to Mia. My body is on fire and she’s the only thing to put out the flames.
I see Joshua out of the corner of my eye. He’s pushing Oksana, Laney and Mia toward our holding area backstage. There aren’t any press conferences scheduled tonight. It’s a small miracle and I couldn’t be more thankful. Oksana is at my side before I know it. She’s waving to the crowd that has gathered outside the tent. Max is ahead of us, pulling Mia by the hand. She’s flushed and smiling and I want to scream. My heart is so torn. It’s like I’m having to choose the band or Mia. I don’t know why I can’t have both.
“Come with me.” Harley grabs me and Oksana and heads out the side of the tent at a run. Max and Mia are right behind us. They want to get us out of the spotlight as quickly as possible.
Something has changed. Joshua stays behind with security, holding the cameras at bay. Della is being pushed onto the tour bus by the head of security. Chance is pushing Laney through the door as he yells at the few people that have gathered around the bus. Oksana trips, sending the three of us head first into the pavement. Harley’s hands are quick, grabbing her before impact. I’m not so lucky. I feel the concrete rip my jeans, my arm scrapes against the rocks. The sting is instant but welcoming. I am usually so numb after a show and this snaps life back into focus.
“Go.” I wave Harley off as he throws Oksana over his shoulder and sprints the rest of the way to the bus. Getting him to Della is more important than having him help me up. Max and Mia stop. She kneels next to me and brushes the loose pavement off my arm. Her eyes are concerned as she takes in the scrape. It hits me like a ton of bricks. I’m in love with her. Not just questioning if this is love. Not just wondering if this is what it should feel like. Not just worrying about getting it wrong. I can’t fucking breathe. I grab at my t-shirt, trying to catch my breath. I’m being suffocated. I rip it over my head, gulping for air. “Holy shit.”
“What hurts?” She puts her hands on my shoulders. “Are you ok?”
“I love you.”
Her eyes are wide. She looks around and locks eyes with Max. He’s pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head. When she looks back at me, her eyes are filled with tears. “What?” Her voice is a whisper.
Max pulls me to my feet and points between the busses. “Through there. Go. My driver is waiting. I’ll go with the bus. No one can see you. Do you understand me?”
I don’t have to be told twice. I pull Mia through the line of buses into the edge of the woods. It’s dark and quiet. The black Town Car is waiting and I realize I’m almost at a full sprint when Mia starts laughing. She’s windblown, flushed, out of breath. I need her. I can’t wait any longer.
I practically dive into the back seat, pulling her into my lap so she’s straddling me. Her hair spills around us. My lips are on her neck, her jaw, her ear. I’m frantic. “Fuck me, Mia.”
“The driver.” Her fear is instantly forgotten when I run my fingers into her dress and find her core. She tenses and her eyes widen but slam shut when I dip into her. She moans and lets her head fall back. Her hips roll against my hand. She’s ready and I can’t wait another second.
“Give me your cell phone.” I yell up to the driver. He throws it over the seat to me. He’s about to get a show and it isn’t one I want recorded. The car starts to roll forward. We have about ten minutes.
Mia’s hands fumble with my jeans. I pull a condom out of my back pocket and hand it to her before pulling my jeans down to my knees. I’m sheathed and ready. When she slides down me, my eyes cross. This is home.
Chapter 14
I don’t know what’s happening to me. I’ve always been a private person. I just can’t help myself around Damien. I’d probably crawl on stage and drop my clothes if he asked me to. Last time, it was a dressing room. Hearing Chance having sex was such a turn on. Now I’m in the back seat of a car, a stranger driving us back to a hotel. I don’t care. If I don’t get Damien inside of me, I feel like I won’t survive.
He hands me a condom and I rip it open with my teeth. After
I roll it on, I slide down his shaft. I’m soaked. I circle my hips and his eyes close. I grip his shoulders and pull myself against him harder. Fuck, this feels good. Every part of his body fits perfectly against mine.
I need him deeper. I arch my back, gripping his knees with my hands. I ride him hard, every part of my body consumed by pleasure. His cock rubs against my G-spot, over and over and over. I’m chanting something incoherent. I can hear the driver’s breathing change. I know he’s turned on and that just intensifies this for me. Electricity shoots up my legs, coils in my belly and I explode, my body crumbling against Damien as wave after wave of pleasure grips his cock, milking him, begging him for release.
Damien grabs my hips, driving his shaft into me as far as he can go. Sweat beads on his forehead. His hips piston, his cock drives into me faster and faster. My body clenches around him. “This pussy is mine. You can walk around with Max at your side and be all smiles. But this is mine. Tell me, Mia. Who owns you?”
He pinches my clit and I scream. “You do.” I can’t breathe. The pleasure is too much. My toes curl and my body tightens. I watch him as he pulls his fingers from between us and sucks them into his mouth. His eyes close as he moans. My orgasm is just out of reach. He knows it and he’s taunting me.
“You want to come, Mia?” He smirks and I want to cry. The pleasure is building and I can’t control my body. “Get ready.”
He licks his finger, reaches around behind me and inserts it into my ass. The sensation is too much. I shatter into pieces, screaming, riding his finger and his cock. The orgasm is fierce, the strongest I have ever had. I can’t hear anything, I can’t open my eyes. All I can do is feel.
