by Carnal, MJ
Damien growls low in his throat. It’s so sexy and sends me into another orgasm. My body is on fire. I collapse against him and feel him swell before emptying himself into the condom. We’re both soaked, panting, sated.
His grip loosens from my hips and he pulls me into a hug. “I fucking love you, Mia.” He bites my shoulder then licks away the sting.
“I love you, too,” I whisper against his chest as we pull up in back of the hotel. The sudden truth of what we’ve done in front of the driver hits me. I blush and bury my head against his shoulder. “I can’t believe we just did that.”
“My Mia is a little bit of an exhibitionist.” He rolls me off of him and toward the door. “It’s sexy as hell.”
He reaches across me and opens the door. Max is standing against the back wall with his arms crossed. He smirks when he catches my eye. Busted. I go from being completely fearless to giggling with nerves. I feel like I’ve just been caught doing something I shouldn’t. When he sees my blush, he laughs and helps pull me from the car.
Damien stays behind, talking to the driver. I’m so glad I’m not part of that conversation. I duck under Max’s arm, feeling safe. He chuckles and shakes his head. He’d lay his life down for Damien. It makes him honorable. It also makes him amazing and I know that I will spend forever making sure he knows I would do the same for him. “Laney is down with Della and Griff.”
I laugh as I fumble with my keycard. “I feel a little dirty.”
I’ve definitely caught him off guard. His laugh is contagious. “What?”
“I feel like I just had a fling with someone and now I’ve met back up with my boyfriend.” I sigh as I throw the key on the dresser and collapse onto the bed. “Now I sound crazy.”
I feel the bed dip and Max lies down next to me. He laughs as he pushes the hair behind my ear. “It’s easy to get caught up in all the hype. Don’t get lost in the bullshit.”
I hear the door click closed and Damien is glaring at the bed. “What’s this?”
Max and I laugh. Damien’s glare softens. “Calm your shit, D. We’re just waiting for you.” Max gets up and slaps him in the stomach. “Enjoy my girlfriend.”
Damien laughs and grabs for him but Max is faster and gets out of the door before he can touch him. I smile as his attention turns back to me. His blue eyes memorize me. Just a few hours ago I was worried I wasn’t strong enough to get involved in a relationship with him. Now, I know that I couldn’t give him up if I tried.
He kneels on the floor next to me and pulls me to him. “Hi,” he whispers in my ear and goose bumps form all over my skin.
“Hi.” I whisper back.
“We’ve only got a couple hours left. Can I just hold you?” He climbs onto the bed and wraps his arms around me. I can’t help but melt into him. “We’re back in two weeks. It’s only for a weekend but I want to spend it with you if you’ll have me. Maybe you can meet Xander?”
“Of course. I’d love that.” My eyes burn. Before I know it, the tour will be over and he’ll be home. Della handles all of this with such grace. I’ve decided to take a chapter from her book and not curl up and wait for him to come home. I’m going to enjoy my life until he comes back into it. It’s then that I’ll truly live. I’m looking forward to that day.
His thumbs caress my face. “You’re everything, Mia. I don’t ever want to lose us.”
My heart hammers in my chest. “I’ll be waiting for you.”
He kisses my forehead. “I’ll get through the next few cities then Joshua will have to end this charade with Oksana. I don’t want to hide you. You’re not my secret. You’re my life.”
Tears fill my eyes and all I can do is nod. I know the day we stop hiding will be the best day of my life.
Della takes my hand and smiles at me. I’ve been dreading the flight home. “It gets easier. I promise. And then before you know it, they’re back and you miss your freedom.”
“Promise?” Jesus, this woman is gorgeous. It’s hard to look away once you’ve made eye contact.
“You’re still in the honeymoon phase. Once it wears off and you realize you can’t even breathe when he’s home and bored, you’ll miss these times. The first tour was hard for me. This one is easier. I guess that it helps we’re settled and I have a permanent home in LA.” She squeezes my hand before letting go. “When they’re home and they aren’t recording, they have a hard time being alone. At least Griffin does. He usually has Damien over and they both stare at me like I hold the key to what they’re supposed to do with their time off. I’m glad you’re around now. Maybe they can both stare at you for awhile.”
“It must be such a hardship to have two hot, rock gods staring at you,” Laney laughs. “Next time it happens, how about invite a sister over? I need a little more hottie in my life.”
“Trust me, it’s not glamorous. Both of them in sweatpants, not showered, scratching and groping themselves like they love to do. Add Chance to the mix and it’s way too much testosterone in one room. I can feel the hair growing on my chest.” Della smiles. “Max is usually my savior. He’ll get them out and doing something.”
Laney gets the stare down and I can’t help but laugh as she squirms. “What?”
“I have an idea.” Della claps her hands. “How about asking Max out on a date? He’s adorable, Lane. He’s a little shy but women like a mysterious man.”
“I was thinking the same thing.” I beam at her.
“Max is great. But he’s not dirty enough for me. I feel like I’d scare him to death.” Laney shakes her head no. “What if he’s a virgin? I like my boys to be men.”
Della chokes on her water. “He’s not a virgin. He’s had sex with Oksana. I know that for sure. I’m sure they are lots more. But he’s not one to kiss and tell.” She’s quiet for a minute. “He doesn’t really ever say much, does he?”
“Oksana sure gets around, doesn’t she?” Laney turns back to me. “Where is she?”
“She’s walking in some fashion show in New York.” Della just shakes her head. “She means well. She’s just lost. I just hope someone can find her.”
Chapter 15
Rely on me, let me lead. Take my hand, you will be freed.
I’d die for you, you are my flesh. Take my soul and we’ll start fresh.
Take the chance, our blood aligned.
The world before us, the past behind. – Liquid Regret I can’t wait to see Xander. We’ve spent the last three days skyping and talking about how life will be different when I’m finally home. We’ve been back on the road for a week. I miss Mia like mad but I miss him just as much. He’s never spent more than a few hours with me. When I’m settled, I’ll fight Claire for joint custody. It’s time to be a grown up. It’s time to settle down, have a family, and finally be a whole person. Xander has always been a source of joy. It’s time I’m the same for him.
“You think she’ll like me?” His voice cracks. Puberty is a bitch. I remember every bullshit detail like it was yesterday.
“She already does.” I can’t help but smile.
“Your dad’s whipped.” Chance settles in the seat next to me. “But she’s hot. You’ll be proud of him.”
“You landed someone hot?” Xander’s question is a joke but it’s so convincing, my jaw drops.
Even Joshua laughs. The guys are constantly busting my balls about being a pussy. I really am. I know Harley loves Della but he seems so manly about it. I’m a lovesick puppy. I need a swift kick in the nuts. Just hard enough to dislodge my brain from my dick so I can start thinking like a man.
“We’re pulling in to our hotel. We’ve got two shows in Arizona and a quick trip through Vegas before we head back. Hug your mom.”
Xander smiles at me. “Love you, Dad.”
My heart absolutely melts every time I hear that. See? Somehow Harley would make that shit sound manly. Me? Nope. I want to squeal like a girl. Christ, I’m losing it.
As the bus stops, I stretch my legs. I’m not going to miss this part
of the job. I’m getting tired. I want my car. I want my own shit around me.
“D, text me Mia or Laney’s number. Della’s not answering her phone. I want to see if they’re with her.” Harley grabs his bag and heads toward the door. “It’s late and I can’t find her.”
My forehead wrinkles. That’s not normal. I shoot Harley the text and dial Mia’s number. It goes right to voicemail. I leave her a quick message and follow him off the bus. Joshua is handing out keycards and barking orders at the bellhops. Max is slipping them hundreds and leading everyone into the lobby. It’s always chaos until we’re inside and behind locked doors.
My phone rings and scares me. Mia’s picture stares back at me. “Hey, baby.”
“Hi.” She’s giggling and I can hear Laney giving her shit. “I didn’t think I’d hear from you tonight. It’s late.”
“Have you seen Della?” My voice must make her pause. She shushes Laney.
“No. Why?” It’s quiet now.
“Griff can’t get in touch with her.”
“I had a missed call from her a few hours ago. I’ll try to call her.” She mumbles something to Laney.
“If you can’t get her on the phone, could you run by there? I know we’re just being paranoid but with everything going on, I’d just sleep better knowing everyone’s ok.”
“Of course. I’ll call you back. Love you, Damien.” She hangs up and I instantly miss her.
I take a long shower and order room service. There’s nothing on TV. I haven’t heard back from Mia and it’s been an hour. I crawl under the covers and try to wait her out. My eyes are heavy. I’m losing the battle to stay awake. No news is good news I tell myself as I give in to sleep.
I’m startled awake. I’m completely disoriented. What’s that noise? I check my phone but there’s nothing. I sit up and take a deep breath. The pounding starts again.
I jump out of the bed and almost rip the door off its hinges. I’m ready to kill whoever’s decided to wake me up. One look at Joshua and I’m backing up and letting him in. His eyes are rimmed with red, his face completely void of color.
He points at my bed. “Sit down.” His voice cracks. He’s in pain.
“What the fuck’s wrong?” I can’t sit down. I’ve never seen Joshua like this. “What’s happening?”
He takes a deep breath and it shakes. Fuck. I know I should sit. I’m frozen in place. The room is starting to blur. The only thing I can see is Josh struggling to find the words he needs. My hands start to shake as he grabs my arms. He leads me back to the bed and sits. I don’t know what else to do so I give in and sit next to him.
“I just got a call from Lex.”
My brain is spinning. Lex should be guarding Della. We leave him home because he’s the most menacing of the all the security guards we have. Della. He should be guarding Della. Panic sets in. “Fucking say it!” I scream. My voice sounds foreign. I think I know before he says anything else. I can feel it in my bones. Dred is a powerful force. I’m clawing my way out of a black hole, trying to catch my breath. Trying to hear Joshua. Trying to wake up from this nightmare.
A tear runs down Joshua’s cheek. I just shake my head no. “He said the girls showed up and wanted to get in the house. He’d been there all night, making rounds. Doing what we fucking pay him to do. He was right fucking there. Outside and didn’t know it was happening.”
I can’t stop shaking my head. I don’t know what’s happening. I can’t make sense of this. “She’s ok.” I chant it. If I say it enough, it’ll be true.
“Laney found her on the kitchen floor. She’d tried to call for help. They tried everything. It was just too late.”
I crumple onto the floor. I can’t breathe. My tears flood my face and chest. I feel helpless. It’s agony.
“Where’s Griff?” I need to get to him. I try to stand but my legs give out. Max and Chance are in the doorway. They’re just standing there. “Somebody do something.” I punch the floor over and over. I can’t even feel it. I’m completely numb.
“Stop.” Max grabs me and holds me prisoner against him. “You have to stop.”
I struggle to get free but it’s wasted. He’s too strong and I’m completely out of my mind. “Stop fucking holding me down. I need to get to Harley. Get off me.”
Chance kneels in front of me and puts his hands on my shoulders. “We need to tell him together. We’re his family. He’ll need us.”
I crumple to the floor again when Max lets go. My heart is shattered. I know it needs to be me. I’m the one that needs to tell him. He’s my family. She’s my family. I beg myself to wake up. Please just wake up.
Chapter 16
I can’t stop shaking. My hands are covered in blood. The house is full of people. The EMTs have tried to convince me to come with them but I’m too terrified to move. Laney is across from me, wrapped in a blanket. She’s crying. Her scream echoes through my head. I’ll never forget it.
“Let us in. She’s not answering her phone.” Laney flirts with Lex and he finally gives in. “I promise, we won’t tell.”
“Did it ever cross your mind that she might not want to talk to you?” Lex smirks when she flips him the bird.
“Let’s just make sure she’s ok. I want to call Damien and tell him everything’s fine.” I push past both of them. The house is completely still.
“Of course everything is ok. I’ve been here all night.” Lex flips on the lights in the foyer.
My first thought is how amazing the house is. I’m greeted by granite and hardwoods and big windows. Pictures line the wall leading up to the second floor. Everything is open. It feels like home. My second thought scares me. It’s completely silent. There aren’t any lights on. Maybe she’s not home. She has some girlfriends that she’s always going out with.
“She’s not home. Now we’re just invading her privacy.” I shiver. “It’s cold in here.”
Laney walks through the living room. She’s always been a snoop. I turn around and look at Lex. His eyes are wide and he’s scanning the doorframe. He turns the deadbolt and pulls but the door stays shut. He pulls the door open and looks at the lock from the outside. I just shrug. Men are weird anyway. Add muscles and a gun and they lose their minds.
Laney’s scream rips through the house. It echoes off the walls. I try to run but it’s like my feet are stuck in quicksand. Lex shoves past me at a full sprint. When I round the corner, I scream. There’s blood everywhere. The white carpet is stained crimson. I can see handprints. I freeze in place.
Lex is yelling at Della to wake up. Laney is staring wide eyed at the kitchen floor. She grabs her phone and dials 911. Her words are frantic. It’s like a dream. Everything echoes. Nothing makes sense.
“Don’t touch anything!” Lex yells at us and turns his attention back to Della. “God damnit, Del. Wake up.”
Like I’ve been shocked, I jolt awake. I’m moving before I realize it. I run into the kitchen, pushing Laney out of the way. I kneel next to Lex and without saying anything, we start CPR. There’s so much blood. Every time I do a chest compression, my hands get soaked. Everything is in slow motion.
The room fills with police, first responders, security guards. Some I recognize, some I don’t. Arms wrap around my waist and pull me away from Della’s body. I kick and scream trying to get back to her. I can help. She’s not gone. I’m carried to the couch by one of the officers. He’s asking me questions but I can’t hear him. I keep staring at my hands. They’re bathed in blood. I wipe them on my pants but I can’t get it all off.
I hear the police on their radios. They’re calling in the scene. No evidence of forced entry. Multiple stab wounds. I hear them call Della a victim. Dead at the scene. I don’t understand any of it. I lean forward and throw up at my feet. My stomach lurches, my head spins. I can hear Laney screaming in the background. Lex is on the phone. I try to speak but my stomach rolls again and I empty what’s left onto the carpet.
A female police officer sits with me and wipes blood from my f
ace. She rubs my back and tells me it will be ok. Nothing will ever be ok again.
I look up from my hands and watch them carry Della’s body from the house. The house is buzzing with activity. I want to run out of here. I want to wash my hands. The blood is caked dry now.
“Ma’am”. I look at the police officer. I didn’t realize she was still here.
“We need you to come down to the station with us. We have some questions.”
I just nod my head and follow her to the front door. Lex makes eye contact. He’s haunted. I know I must look the same. He takes my hand and follows me out the door. Laney is being led out by another officer. I watch as the ambulance pulls away. The lights go on but the siren stays off.
I duck into the back seat of the police cruiser. Lex is right behind me. He puts his arm around me and pulls me to him. I break. The tears won’t stop. My body is shaking uncontrollably. He kisses the top of my head but says nothing. The sound of my crying is the only noise the entire ride. I’m scared. I’m tired. I’m freezing. I want Damien home.
I’m ushered through the station to a small room in back. When Lex tries to follow me, the officer holds up her hand. “We just need to ask her some questions. I’ll let you know when we’re finished.”
“Not good enough. She’s my priority. She’s my assignment now. You’ll have to let me in with her or we’re leaving.” Lex is menacing. All six and a half feet of him. The first time I saw him at the concert in LA, he scared the hell out of me. Seeing him tonight is no different.
“I don’t understand.” I don’t know what I could possibly tell the police that would make any difference. I don’t need a bodyguard.
“I spoke to Joshua. He wants me with you until they can get back here. We’ve sent a guard out to Oksana as well. Until we know what happened, we’re taking every precaution to keep you both safe.”
