by Carnal, MJ
I roll my eyes at Marcus and see Wade standing in the doorway of the stairwell laughing so hard he has tears coming out of his eyes. Seth grunts and shoves away from the bar and flips them off. “Fuck off, you bastards.”
Wade moves to stand in front of us and clasps both of us on the shoulder. “No, man. It’s time for the group hug! I want in on this!” And he drags us in.
I can’t help but laugh at Wade. I give Wade as much of a manly back slap hug as I can in the position he has pulled me into. It feels like all the tension that had been building up has broken.
“Yeah, dude. We’re all good,” I say to Seth.
Wade steps back and then walks to plop down on the couch. “So, I’m glad you and Seth finally got your shit together. I was sick of pussyfooting around everything,” he calls out. “We can get back to the way things were. Get our asses back on stage.”
I never thought to think about how the rift between us was affecting everyone else. Shameful Regret hasn’t performed in weeks. I’ve been cancelling our scheduled sets because my heart just wasn’t in it and I knew I wouldn’t be able to deliver my best performance. I didn’t want to deal with being on stage and not seeing Lynae out there watching me. Even though there are tons of girls out there trying to get our attention, when my sweetness is there, she's all I could see. All I wanted to see.
“Yeah, we need to call Rich and see when he can get us squeezed into Metro’s schedule or see what other clubs we can get booked.” I look at Marcus as I move into the living room to join Wade. He’s usually the one that handles the business end of the band. He’s got the mind and the smooth talking abilities to get us the best days and fees.
Marcus and Seth make their way into the living room as well. Seth plops down on the floor and sprawls out while Marcus claims his usual spot in the beat up recliner next to the couch.
“So, when is Nae gonna be back? I haven’t seen her since Friday afternoon,” Marcus says.
The guys, other than Wade, haven’t hung out at the apartment in the afternoons. I’ve been telling them that Lynae needed her rest and that she would be tired after working all day. To be honest, I just wanted her to myself. Wade and Gabbi usually disappeared into his room after dinner the one night he stayed here, or just went back to Gabbi’s. Takeout is getting old, and I know that kind of processed food can’t be good for Lynae or the baby, but I haven’t let her cook. She texted me this morning that she was going to the store to pick up some stuff to make stir-fry tonight because she wanted a “home-cooked” meal for a change.
“She’ll be back in a few hours. Stubborn woman wants to go to the store before she gets home.”
Wade perks up at the mention of the word 'store.' “Is she finally gonna cook for us again?” he asks like a kid that just heard the ice cream truck. “I swear, that’s the worst thing that has come out of you two breaking up.”
Shit. Him not getting fed is the worst thing? Fuck no. Having my heart ripped out and handed to me on a platter, feeling like my very reason for living and breathing was taken from me… now that’s the worst thing. “She ain’t cooking for you dumb asses.”
My phone chimes in my pocket alerting me of a text:
Lynae: Hey baby. Are the guys gonna be home for dinner tonight? Leaving work now and stopping off at Walmart. Need to make sure I’m picking up enough. Love you.
I shake my head. Of course she would want to try to take care of us. The last two days have been the best she’s felt, according to her, since the start of the pregnancy. I really just want her to come home, put her feet up and let me order out again. I want to take care of her. But I know she won’t agree to that. Once she gets a thought in her head, she sticks to it.
Me: I want to say no and keep you all to myself, but they were actually just talking about how much they miss your cooking. Love you too, sweetness.
“Speak of the sexy devil.” I say to the guys. “Sweetness is on her way home. And she asked if y’all were gonna stick around for dinner. Guess you get your wish, Wade.” I smile, thinking about the fact that she referred to my place as home. I want her to move in with me. I know it’s probably a little too fast for her, but I want her here all the time. I’m going to marry this woman. I won’t take “no” for an answer.
A series of “hell yeahs” are the response I get. I go back to the kitchen to finish making my sandwich and eat it quickly. I need to return to the garage downstairs so I can get the rest of the work done so I can be up here helping Lynae when she gets home. If she is going to be cooking for these idiots, I’m not going to make her do it alone. I don’t want her wearing herself out.
~
The sound of female laughter fills my kitchen as Gabbi and Lynae work on cleaning up the dishes from dinner. They're talking about their day at work and I have no clue what the hell any of it means.
“Yeah, and the tach was incessant. I swear every single time I hit the pace button, it showed up,” Lynae says while she rinses a plate before putting it in the dishwasher.
Gabbi giggles. “I kept telling Travis to quit fucking around and just burn the damn pathway. It was obviously AVNRT.”
“I know! Any idiot could see that. He just wanted to play with the new mapping system some more.”
Wade walks up behind the girls and wraps his arms around their shoulders. “You know, when you use all that medical speak, it does things to me,” and he thrusts his hips between them.
“Wade!” Lynae shrieks and slaps him on the chest. “You are horrible!” She giggles. “I don’t know what Gabbi sees in you!”
“Oh, I can show you, baby.” He reaches down for the buckle on his belt. “I don’t think your man would approve though.”
I quickly run into the kitchen and grab Lynae carefully around the waist and carry her back to the living room. “You keep your junk away from my woman!” I growl at him. I know he’s only kidding. But I wouldn’t put it past him to actually whip his dick out, Wade is a perv.
Lynae is giggling and Gabbi is scolding Wade. It's finally starting to feel like it was before everything went to shit and I fucking love it.
When I set Lynae back down on her feet she spins in my arms and stands up on her tiptoes to kiss my chin. “I love you, baby.”
“I love you too.” I kiss her nose. “You go sit down and put your feet up. I’ll finish cleaning.”
Lynae gives me that sweet smile that can melt my heart and turns to go sit on the couch with Seth. I watch them curiously. They didn’t talk much during dinner, but they seemed a little more at ease with each other. Lynae curls up in the corner of the couch facing Seth and he scoots closer to her. She reaches out her hand and he takes it, squeezes it briefly, then lets go.
“I’m glad you and Connor are working things out. He needs you,” I hear Seth tell her. “Are we okay?”
“Yeah, I want us to be okay. You were really becoming one of my best friends. I don’t want to lose that.” She smiles at him. “I do love you, Seth. I want you to know that. Just not the way I love Connor.”
“I know that, babe.” Seth’s voice sounds a little thick with emotion. “Now, your man said to put your feet up, so be a good little girl and do as you’re told.” He clears his throat before getting up off the couch and arranging a pillow under Lynae’s feet and propping them up.
Marcus comes to stand beside me and bumps my shoulder. “Things are going to be fine. They're just friends. I think she needs us as much as we need her,” he says, referring to them and her. She does need to have their friendship. They have shown her that not all guys are total douchebags and she can trust them. These guys have been my family for so long, and I am planning on Lynae becoming a permanent part of my family as well.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Lynae
“So where do you want to go for lunch?” I ask Sly as he pulls out of the parking lot of my apartment complex. I had breakfast with Connor this morning and told him I was coming back home to spend some much needed time with Sly. We need some time to
talk things over and to ensure the friendship we have built over the years doesn’t change or end just because I’m moving on with my life.
Sly shrugs his shoulders and gives me a sideways look. “I don’t care. Whatever you feel like you can handle. Don’t know what foods are good for you and what makes you sick.”
He was very standoffish this morning when I got home. We texted and talked on the phone every night this week, and I even tried to get him to come over to Connor’s for dinner, but he refused. I need to work this out.
“How about we just go to La Hacienda? I could really go for some enchiladas and some queso,” I suggest. I am craving something spicy and Sly will eat just about anything. We can even get some takeout to bring back to Michelle. That girl can eat her weight in burritos if you let her. La Hacienda is a quiet locally owned restaurant that makes truly authentic Mexican dishes.
Sly smiles and nods his consent as he drives in the direction of the restaurant.
After we're seated and the waitress brings us a big basket of tortilla chips with salsa and takes our orders, I decide I’m not going to mess around. I’m going to cut straight to what needs to be said.
“Okay, Sly. Spill it. No more keeping it in. You have something you want to say to me, say it. I love you, and I can take whatever it is you have to throw at me.” I lean back in the booth and cross my arms over my chest.
Sly mirrors my posture and takes a deep breath. Glancing over my shoulder, he releases it before looking back at me. “I told you earlier this week I will support you in whatever decision you make when it comes to Connor. I want you to be happy, but it will just take a while for me to fully trust him again.”
“I know he has to earn your trust, but like I said earlier this week, since you trust me, you need to also trust my judgment.” I reach across the table and hold my hand out for him.
He reaches out and takes it. “You’re not just staying with him because of the baby, are you? You know that I will support you and help you with anything you need, right?”
Sighing, I pull my hand back. I don’t understand how Sly could possibly think that. I don’t know what I’m going to have to do to make him understand that Connor is it for me. Not because of the baby. Not because he’s the first man I’ve had any kind of interest in. But because he is the other half of my heart.
“Damn it, Sly. Why can’t you just let this go? I love him. I’m not staying with him because I’m pregnant. I wouldn’t stay with him if that was the only thing tying us together. I’m staying with him because he is everything I want and everything I need. I don’t know what I have to do or say to get that through your thick head. I will tell you the same thing, over and over, till I’m blue in the face if I have to.”
“You are so fucking stubborn.” He growls.
“So are you!”
The waitress brings our food and sets the plates down in front of us. She senses the tension at the table and quickly flees back to the safety of the kitchen.
Sly continues to stare at me from across the table with his arms crossed over his chest.
I pick up my fork, stab my chili relleno, pick it up whole and point it at him. “If you don’t get off your damn high horse, I will shove this chili up your ass!”
Sly tries to keep a straight face, but fails. He starts laughing hysterically at me while I still hold up my weapon of spicy destruction.
“You are such a dork!” he manages to get out between gasping for breath because he's laughing so hard at me.
I’m laughing just as hard, even though I try to keep a straight face. I can’t believe I just threatened him with a freaking pepper. Like that would do any harm. “Am not.”
“Yes, you are, and that’s why I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“Now eat your damn lunch and quit bitching at me about Connor. I don’t have to like him. I will be nice to his dumb ass, but I’m not making any promises. If he hurts you again, I will end him.” Sly reaches over the table to grab my hand now that I’ve lowered the relleno back down to my plate.
“At least that’s a start.” I smile at him. I can’t expect Sly to immediately forgive and forget what happened. He’s been my protector forever. I just need to get him to come around some more so he can see that Connor and I really are fine and that we're working things out. Seeing is believing.
We eat our lunch and talk about his move here. Sly has to drive back to Alabama next weekend to get the rest of his stuff, but for the bulk part he has most of it. He's still planning on living in my guest room while he continues to look for an apartment. I know he wants to get a unit in our complex, but there aren’t any one or two bedrooms available right now, and he certainly can’t afford the rent on a three bedroom or larger.
~
After spending all day Saturday with Sly, I stayed at my own apartment despite Connor wanting me to go back to his place. I told him I needed to spend more time with Sly, ensuring that our friendship remains intact. It’s Sunday morning, and I’m getting ready for mine and Daddy’s usual breakfast date. I asked Sly to tag along, but he headed straight for Michelle’s apartment this morning after she sent him a good morning text.
Thank God I’m finally feeling more normal. Of course it seems like I have to pee every five minutes, but I’m really feeling like myself again. I pull on some maternity jeans and a loose fitting sweater. I’m not happy about the fact I’m having to wear jeans with the weird elastic panel in the front now, but my normal jeans don’t quite button very easily anymore. That’s another thing Sly and I did yesterday; he took me shopping for some clothes that will fit better now, and will fit in the next few months.
Just as I’m finishing brushing out my hair, I hear knocking on my front door. I quickly go answer it because I know it’s Daddy.
“How’s my favorite baby girl doing?” he says when I open the door and he pulls me in for a hug. “Damn girl, what’s with all this weight you packing on? Those gummy bears finally catching up with you?”
I smack him in the arm as he releases me. “Daddy!” I laugh.
“What? Oh, that little pudge is a baby, I forgot. You know it’s hell getting old. The mind tends to forget things.” He smiles down at me.
“I don’t see any old people around here. You hush your mouth.” I turn to grab my purse from the kitchen table. “Now, I’m hungry. Feed your favorite daughter.”
Daddy and I go to our usual diner and order our usual breakfast of pancakes and bacon. I practically inhale my food. I am super hungry this morning. This little one must be getting ready to have a growth spurt or something. I haven’t felt the baby move or kick yet, but my doctor told me it should be soon. I’m so excited and nervous at the same time.
“So, you and Connor seem to be getting along better?” Daddy asks as he sips his coffee.
I know a soft smile crosses my face when I think of Connor. “Yeah, we talked about everything. And I mean everything. He told me about his sister.” Thoughts of Kaitlin and what Connor has been through make my smile falter a little. I still can’t believe that some parents could be so cruel. I look at Daddy and I thank the good Lord above that I was blessed with the parents that I was.
Daddy puts his coffee mug down on the table. “He told you about the accident?”
I cock my head to the side. I don’t remember telling him about what Connor told me. How could he have known?
Noticing my confusion, Daddy elaborates. “Sweetie, I looked into Connor when you first introduced him to me.” He laughs at my dropped jaw, then continues. “Don’t look so shocked. You really think I would let you go out with some guy you met at a bar and not check him out? I know all about Kaitlin’s accident, and I’ve talked to Connor about it too.”
“What? When?” I’m confused and I feel a little behind in this conversation.
“I went and talked to Connor after your accident. After you kicked him out. I wanted to check on him. I knew he felt responsible for your fall and the fight. I also knew he felt re
sponsible for what happened to Kaitlin all those years ago. I read his police report. He got in several fights and had some public intoxication citations,” Daddy tells me. “I know he loves you. I also know he was hurting from a painful past he couldn’t escape from. I just want the two of you to be happy and healthy. You both need to talk. Not push each other away when things get tough.”
I can’t believe that he went and talked to Connor. And he already knew about everything. And he didn’t tell me. To think about how much pain and drama could have been saved or even prevented blows my mind. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Daddy shakes his head. “Because, Kara Lynae, it wasn’t my story to tell. I knew what happed to Kaitlin wasn’t his fault, so I didn’t feel like it was my place to tell you. That was his past to carry and his pain to work through. Just like you kept everything that happened to you in high school secret, even though I wish every damn day you had told me about it when it happened, you had to work through it on your own. You carried that guilt inside you, and you had to decide when you felt like you could let it out. Same thing with Connor.”
I see tears forming in Daddy’s eyes when he talks about what happened with Matt. I know he regrets not being able to tell that something was wrong with me, but like he said, I kept all that guilt inside me. I was very good at hiding and turning off my emotions. He's such an amazing man and a wonderful father. He has been through so much, and I don’t know how he has managed everything.
“How did I get so lucky to have you for a dad?”
“You have it all wrong, baby girl. I’m the one lucky to have you. You have brought so much to my life, I can’t imagine what my life would have been like without you.” Daddy gives me the smile that he always used to give Momma. “And I know that your world is about to be turned upside down with that little one. I only wish that Sara would have been here to see you growing into the amazing woman you have become. And I know that you are going to be just as wonderful a mother that she was.”
Daddy sees the tears streaming down my face and gets out of his side of the booth and squeezes in beside me, wrapping his arms tightly around my shoulders. “I didn’t mean to make you cry, Kara Lynae.”
