by Carnal, MJ
“No, Daddy. These are happy tears. I love you so much. And I miss Momma, but I know that she’s here.” I pat my chest over my heart. “She’s right here. I only wish she could have met Connor.”
“I know, baby. She would have loved him. She may have tried to kick his ass.” He laughs. “Sara was definitely a feisty one. But she would have loved him and been so proud of you.” Daddy pulls me closer into his shoulder. “Let’s go see that man of yours.”
Daddy leaves some cash on the table and we head out to his car. He drives us straight to Connor’s apartment and we end up spending the entire day hanging out and talking. It feels so good to have Connor and Daddy in the same room not trying to kill each other. Now if I can only get Sly to feel the same way. He promised he would try for me. They both talk about how important communication is and how much we need to learn to be open and honest with each other.
Connor insists on me staying at his place tonight, and he promises Daddy that he’ll get me to work without any issues tomorrow. I know that I’m pregnant, so obviously Daddy knows that Connor and I are sleeping together, but it just doesn’t seem normal for my father and boyfriend to be talking about me spending the night over at his place so candidly. I guess Daddy is more open minded than I ever gave him credit for.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Connor
I’m so fucking nervous that I don’t even know what to do with myself. I have been trying to psych myself up to have this conversation for three days. Even Seth and Marcus have been trying to give me pep talks. Hell, I’m more freaked out about talking to John about this than I was about the first conversation we had about Lynae being pregnant after the accident. Add in the fact that Sly is in that house right now too; that just triples the apprehension.
After parking my car in the driveway fifteen minutes ago, I’m still standing on John’s front porch. I can’t seem to make myself ring the damn doorbell. Just as I’m finally raising my hand to do just that, the front door opens.
“You just gonna stand out here all afternoon, son? Or are you going to come in?” John chuckles from the entryway.
I smile nervously. “Hey, Mr. Michaels. Thanks for seeing me today.”
“Come on in. And I’ve told you before, Connor, call me John. Please.” He steps aside to let me pass, then directs me to the living room.
This is the first time I’ve been to his home. It’s a nice one story patio home in a quiet suburb just outside of the Charleston city limits. The furniture in the living room is all dark wood and leather. It looks warm and inviting, but you can tell this is a place a man lives in alone. It looks almost like a more mature version of my apartment. The only personal touches I see are the multiple photos of Lynae, from all ages and a few pictures of Sara, Lynae’s mom. I can see so much of Sara in Lynae. She really does look just like her mother.
I turn around and spot Sly sitting in the big club chair next to the large window overlooking the backyard. He clears his throat and gives me a chin nod. We have been what you could call close to friendly with each other over the last few weeks, but I know he's only tolerating me out of his love for Lynae.
“Hey man.” I return his nod.
John comes back in from the kitchen holding a few beers. He hands one to Sly, then holds one out for me. I take it, but set it down on the table in front of the couch as I sit down.
“Thanks for having me over today.” I try to shake my nerves off. My palms are so fucking sweaty that no matter how many times I wipe them down the front of my jeans, it doesn’t do any good.
Taking a swig of his own beer, John sits down beside me. “Anytime, Connor. Anytime.” He smiles a big genuine smile. “Now, care to tell me what you wanted to talk about? And why you wanted Sly to be here too?”
I shift uncomfortably in my seat as I reach into my front pocket. I pull out the box that is the source of all of my hopes, dreams and absolute fear all at the same time. Leaning forward, I place the black velvet box on the table in front of me.
“You’ve got to be fucking shittin’ me!” Sly growls, standing up from his position across the room.
Lifting my focus to watch John’s reaction, I hold my breath. I wait for him to say something. He looks from the box, back up to me, then back to the box again. I hear him take a deep breath in and let it out. Sly continues to stand in the middle of the living room, staring at John, waiting for him to react as well.
John leans forward, sets his beer on the table, then clasps his hands in front of him. Turning his head to look me in the eye, he says, “Connor, I’m guessing there is something you want to ask me about Kara Lynae.”
It’s not a question, it’s a simple statement. His voice is even and calm. I notice the corner of his mouth is somewhat twitching, almost like it wants to curl up into a smile. Or a snarl. I’m not sure. All I know at this point is I’m fucking terrified.
I sit up a little straighter and turn to face him head on. “John. Sly.” I pause to clear my throat of the giant knot that seems to have formed there. “I love Lynae with every bit of my heart and soul. I can’t imagine even living one more day without her in my life. When I almost lost her, I wanted to die. I wanted to kill myself for the hurt and anguish I put her through. I certainly don’t deserve someone as giving, loving, and the epitome of absolute perfection as her.”
“You sure as hell don’t!” Sly cuts me off.
“Sly, shut your mouth and let the man talk,” John barks at Sly, then waves his hand in my direction, indicating for me to continue.
“Like I said, I know I don’t deserve her. She can do so much better than me, but as selfish as I am, I can’t let her go. She has given my life meaning. Lynae has made this lifeless heart in my chest beat again. I will spend every second of my life loving her and trying to show her how much I love her. And the baby. I’m asking you, both of you,” I say looking from John to Sly, “for permission to ask Lynae to marry me.” And I let out the breath that has been stuck inside me.
John doesn’t say anything. Sly continues to stare at me.
“Sly, I know you really don’t like me. Hell, I know you don’t trust me. And I totally get that. You have been the number one man in Lynae’s life, other than John, for years. You’ve protected her, loved her and tried to be her everything for so long. I’m asking you to let me be that man now. That’s why I’m asking you too. I will prove to you that I will do everything in my power to keep her happy, safe and give her all the love I am capable of giving and then some.” I stand up and move directly in front of him. “I’ve made mistakes. I’ve hurt the most important thing in this world. But we’ve talked. And we’re trying to move on. If you don’t trust me, trust her,” I implore him.
Sly still continues to stare at me.
My heart pounds so fucking hard in my chest, it feels like it may explode.
John standing up and walking up next to me draws my attention. He places a hand on each mine and Sly’s shoulders. Looking at Sly, he says “It takes a very strong man to come in here, admit that he knows he doesn’t deserve something, yet ask permission to have it.” He looks at me. “Connor, you and I have had some talks along the way. I know what kind of man you are. Everybody makes mistakes. It takes a real man to stand up and admit it. It takes an even stronger man to pick up the pieces and move on.”
I swallow the huge lump in my throat. I think this conversation is headed in a good direction, but I’m still too scared shitless to hope.
“I know that you love Kara Lynae. I can see it in your eyes. I can hear it in your words. I saw it the first day I met you, and I see that love has done nothing but grow.” John lets a smile take over his face. “Yes, Connor. You have my permission to marry Lynae.”
Thank fucking God! One down, now one more to go. I meant what I said. I feel like I need to have permission from both of them. Lynae and Sly have such a close bond that she would feel like she needs his approval, even if she won’t admit it.
Sly raises his arm and just when I think he ma
y cold clock me in the jaw, he pulls me in for a hug. “I do trust Lynae. She’s told me time and time again that I need to let go of my anger towards you. She loves you. I can see it plain as fucking day too. And what you just said, right now, I know that you love her too.” He pats me on the back before stepping back and looking from John to me. “Connor, I love that woman more than I can even begin to explain. She is like a sister. I would die for her. And I know that you would too. If you promise me that you will love her, and never hurt her again, I will give you my blessing. And I appreciate you asking me too.”
“I wouldn’t feel right asking her if I didn’t have permission from the two most important men in her life. I would give anything to have family like you in my life.” I have Wade, Marcus and Seth. They're like my brothers. But the bond between Sly and John — they do act like father and son. And I know how fiercely they care for Lynae.
“We are your family now, son. And we always will be.” John pulls me in for a hug. He doesn’t embrace me like a friend, he hugs me like a father would hug a son. I try to keep it together. I almost feel like I could cry. Man up, Reeves.
“Now I just have to ask her,” I say when John lets go of me.
John and Sly chuckle. “Yeah” they say in unison.
“Now let me see the ring you want to put on my little girl’s finger.” John walks over to the couch and sits down, pointing at the table.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Lynae
It feels like it's been forever since I’ve seen Connor and the guys perform. I miss seeing them up on stage, doing what they love. It seems like that's where Connor truly lets all of his feelings out. He looks so free and happy up there.
I’m sitting in Michelle’s bathroom and I can’t help the feeling of déjà vu that overtakes me. We're all gathered here getting ready for Shameful Regret’s show tonight at Metro. Connor said he really wanted me to come tonight, and he has late night dinner reservations for us at one of my favorite restaurants overlooking Charleston Harbor.
Unlike the first time I went to Metro, I don’t feel like I’m being dragged against my will. I’m excited and antsy to get there already. I’m sitting on a stool in front of the bathroom counter while Gabbi does my makeup again.
“Girl, your skin is even more gorgeous now that you’re prego!” she exclaims. “I mean, I heard all that shit about pregnant women glowing, but you are seriously beaming!” Gabbi continues to sweep the bronzer brush over my cheeks.
“My face is the only thing that doesn’t feel like it’s swollen!” I laugh. I swear, my feet are killing me already, and it looks like I’ve shoved a small cantaloupe under my shirt. I’m only five months along, but my belly is really starting to show. I feel like everything is bloated, but everyone else keeps telling me that unless you are looking at me from the side, you can’t even tell I’m pregnant. Oh, and don’t get me started on my boobs. These things feel like they've doubled in size already. I don’t even want to think about how big they'll be by the time I deliver.
Michelle pops her head in, holding up a couple of tops. “Oh shut it, woman. You’re gorgeous and you are not swollen, bloated, fat, or whatever you think you are,” she quips. “Now, which shirt do you want to wear? I went shopping on my way home for you.”
I look between my options. Michelle is holding up a bright pink silky top that has some sliver embroidery along the high neckline that's absolutely beautiful, and a deep purple V-neck stretchy blouse with an asymmetrical hem. It reminds me of the first outfit I wore to Metro. I know that’s what I want to wear. I think it will look really nice with the black leggings I’m already planning on wearing with my black ballet flats. I point at the purple shirt. “That one, definitely.”
“I figured you’d pick this one.” She smirks. “Okay, finish getting your hair done, then we’ll head on. I told Connor you’d just ride with us and meet him there.” Michelle flounces back into the bedroom to finish getting dressed herself.
Gabbi straightens my hair and pulls the sides back with a clip to keep it out of my face. My hair seems to have gotten a lot thicker with all prenatal vitamins and hormones. I've been strongly contemplating chopping it all off, but my hairdresser refuses. She does what she wants to with my hair. I don’t really get a say with what style I get.
“There! Perfect!” She sets her brush down and steps back to admire her work. “Now, go put a shirt on. I’m tired of looking at your boobs! I wish I just had half of them!”
Laughing, I walk out and let Gabbi start on her hair and makeup. This time, getting ready to go out, I don’t feel all the nerves and apprehension I felt before. It’s amazing what time can change. I turn and grab my new shirt off Michelle’s bed and carefully pull it on, trying not to mess up my hair. The shirt fits perfectly. The girls are on display, but even with a V-neck cut, it still seems modest enough for my tastes. My bump is impossible to miss with the stretchy material, but I’m proud of my little jellybean bump. This is part of me and Connor. It’s our love all rolled up into one little person.
Michelle and Gabbi put the finishing touches on their looks and we all head downstairs to meet Sly in the parking lot. He’s dressed in loose fitting dark wash jeans and a gray button-down shirt left untucked. He looks totally hot with his blond hair sticking up in every direction like he just rolled out of bed. Michelle gets all goo-goo eyed as soon as she sees him.
~
As soon as we get to Metro, we're lead immediately to the left side of the club to the back tables near the stage. I sit down as soon as we get to the table and the girls shoot off to the dance floor. Sly takes a seat beside me and I can’t help but smile at the goofy look on his face as he watches Michelle dancing with Gabbi.
“You can go on and dance. I’ll be fine here. I may go to the back and find Connor anyway,” I tell him.
Sly’s attention returns to me. “No, babe. I don’t wanna leave you here by yourself.”
“Honestly, I’m fine. I’m just gonna sit here for a little bit, then I’ll go find Connor to wish him luck before the show.” I squeeze his hand.
Sly looks from me back to Michelle on the dance floor then back to me. “You look beautiful tonight. You really do. I’m happy for you, Lynae.”
I smile. I’m not sure where this sentiment is coming from, but I’ll take it. Connor and Sly have been getting along better the last week, and I’m glad for it. It almost feels like a switch has been flipped and they're suddenly okay with each other again. Sly even had dinner with us twice last week.
“Thanks love. Now go have fun. I’m fine.” I push his shoulder so he tips off the stool.
When he heads in the direction of the girls, I spot Seth coming out of the back hallway, walking towards me. He pulls me in for a big hug as soon as he gets to me and hands me a big bottle of water. “Connor said to make sure you drink plenty of water and for you to stay at the table. He doesn’t want anything happening to you tonight.”
Oh, Connor. He's so protective of me. I’m actually surprised he agreed to let me come out to the club tonight. He made me promise that I wouldn’t go on the dance floor, and that I’d stay with someone all night, not wanting me to leave the table by myself. “Seth, I’m fine. I was getting ready to come back there to look for you guys.”
“No, you stay out here, sweetheart. The set is gonna start in about twenty minutes. He’s in the back filling out some paperwork anyway. We’ll be out soon.” Seth pulls me in for another quick hug and kisses me on top of my head. “Love you.” He then leans down and kisses my bump. “Love you too, Jellybean.” He turns to head backstage again.
I shake my head and return my attention to watching Sly and my girls on the dance floor.
“I didn’t know Seth was seeing anyone,” a feminine voice comes up beside me.
I turn around on the chair to see a petite girl with jet black hair with bright purple streaks and a gorgeous face smiling at me. She has a small red apron on over her denim shorts and fishnet-clad legs. She looks familiar from my pre
vious times here at Metro, but I don’t recall her name.
“He’s not, Seth is just a good friend of mine,” I respond.
She looks me up and down, her eyes stopping on my belly. “So… you’re not involved?” She looks skeptical. And I think I see a hint of relief in her eyes at my admission that I’m not involved with Seth.
I laugh out loud. “Lord, no! I’m with Connor.”
Letting out a little laugh, she smiles brightly. “Oh. You’re Lynae?”
Nodding my head, I extend my hand to shake hers. “Yes, Lynae Michaels. It’s nice to meet you.”
“I’m Felicity Gunnar. Nice to meet you too.” Felicity smiles and shakes my hand back.
“Yes! I’ve seen you here the other times I’ve been in, but it's been quite a while.” I smile warmly. “I don’t think I ever caught your name before. Trey usually took care of us whenever we came in.”
Felicity pulls out the chair next to me and sits down. “I’m on my break. Mind if I hang with you for a few?” she asks, looking towards the back hall Seth disappeared down.
I open up the bottle of water he brought me and take a big swig. I guess I didn’t realize how thirsty I was. “Please. All my friends are either on the floor or backstage.”
“Yeah, Connor has been going on and on about you coming back in tonight. Told us all to keep an eye on you and give you as much juice or water as you wanted.” Felicity laughs. “Seth and the other guys also said that you were to be treated like the queen you are. You have all those guys wrapped around your little finger.”
I shake my head at the thought of a bunch of rockers going out of their way to make sure I’m taken care of in a club. I mean, how much trouble can I really get into? I also notice the lift in Felicity’s voice and the twinkle in her eye when she said Seth’s name. I will have to investigate this further. “They did, did they?” I tilt my head to the side studying her. “The guys are so overprotective of me. Especially the further along I get.”
