Push & Pull (The Broadway Series Book 5)

by Allie York

  “He, uh, he told me he’s not a good guy, but he’s trying to be better. Beck’s always sweet with me.” Jovie watched our exchange carefully, but stayed out of it.

  “I think you and I know different Becks, but that’s good. Just don’t let him hurt you, Mere.” Cori finally put the scissors down and looked at me, “I’ll try to stay out of it and stay positive, because I obviously can’t stop it.” Maybe Beck would hurt me, but maybe not. No way to find out unless I put myself out there, and my sensible side took a vacation when Beck came around. I nodded at my sister and answered the ringing phone.

  The day went on the same, people in and out, Jovie and Cori cussing at dogs, booking appointments, and my nerves about dinner were getting worse. At lunch a blonde girl strolled up with a basset hound and I started searching the computer for a basset appointment, “Can I help you?” The girl stopped just before she opened the gate and looked at me.

  “Oh, hey, I’m Jovie’s sister and my dog stinks.” The girl pushed through the gate, led the dog to the bathing room, shouting a hello at Cori and Jovie. Jovie finished the dog on her table and chased her sister to the back. I shrugged it off. Jovie’s sister was rude, but whatever.

  Reese stayed a while and the rudeness from her entrance faded. She was blunt, but nice, and her dog, Olive, was the sweetest, dopey dog ever. Before I knew it, I was sweeping the lobby and restocking the products up front. I waved Reese and Olive out the door to get ready to close. Jovie had a late training appointment and Cori was finishing dogs, so I went back to fold the clean laundry and wash the towels from the day, to keep myself occupied.

  “How are you so beautiful folding laundry?” I snapped out of my laundry trance to see a very cocky-looking Beck leaned against the door frame, “Let’s take Sadie home and go try this date thing out.” He uncrossed his arms to motion for me and I swooned a little. And he said I’m beautiful.

  “Can I finish folding?” I shook a towel at him and Beck snatched it from me to fold it, adding it to the stack. He reached around me to grab the next and kissed me on the cheek before leaning back, “How was your day?”

  “Good. The same as always, except my lunch break today wasn’t nearly as much fun as yesterday,” Beck winked at me, “I drew some buildings, made some calls, and watched the clock move very slowly.”

  I folded the last towel and picked up the stack, moving it to the shelf, “Do I need to change?” I had on jeans and gray shirt.

  “No, Doll. You look great. Let’s get out of here,” He took my hand and pulled me into a hug. I instantly melted into him, letting my head fall on his shoulder. Someone wanting to touch me felt so good. We collected Sadie, told Cori goodbye, and walked to his car. I climbed in while he put Sadie in the back seat and he ran to hop in the driver’s side. I wanted to ask where we were going, what was planned for the evening, but the idea of Beck surprising me sounded better.

  I followed Sadie and Beck to the front door, and he walked her to the back yard, leaving me by the stairs. About three seconds after he disappeared, his brother and Harriet came down the steps, “Meredith, how’re you feeling?” Harriet hugged me.

  “Good, better. The nausea is mostly gone, and so are the headaches. I guess that’s what happens when you get your blood sugar to normal levels. Insulin is magic.” Briggs put his arm around Harriet, “What are you guys up to?”

  “About to start dinner. You here to play?” Harriet nodded for me to follow them to the kitchen.

  “Nope, she’s with me.” Beck came in the French doors and trailed behind us to the kitchen, “I kidnapped her for the evening, but I’ll be back later.”

  Harriet and Briggs shared a look before turning back to us, “Sounds fun. I’ll save you some dessert,” Harriet patted Beck’s arm and Briggs grumbled, “Oh my gosh, Meredith,” Harriet came at me, reaching for my stomach, “Can I?” I shifted my weight. She rested her hands on my stomach, “Baby bumps are so wonderful. Cori gets so tired of me rubbing all over hers. Are you getting excited?” She smoothed her hand over my shirt, stretching it so my bulge was more pronounced.

  I watched her, not daring to look at Beck, “I think so. I’m still a little shocked, but it’s hard not to embrace it when your jeans start getting snug.”

  Harriet backed off and sighed dreamily, “Well, I’m excited. You two have fun, and behave.” She winked at me and Beck slid his hand into mine, tugging me toward the hallway.

  “Bye.” I forced the word out and trailed after Beck, unsure of how to feel about it all. He said me being pregnant didn’t bother him, but my reality and priorities were going to shift drastically in a few months. A baby seemed more than I could handle, so asking Beck to handle it seemed a little crazy, and a little stupid. Beck just started handling himself.

  He opened the car door for me again, and started the car, heading toward Broadway and then downtown. He cracked his window and reached for my hand, placing it under his on the gearshift, “You cutting me slack tonight since I’ve never done this?” Beck glanced at me between words.

  “It’s not like I have standards to compare you to, so you won’t need slack.” He parked the car near Main Street downtown and cocked his head to look at me.

  “If you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t have to, but didn’t you go to Colorado with a boyfriend?” It was best to get it out of the way. It was going to come up eventually, since the asshole fathered my child.

  “Yeah, but if you haven’t figured it out, Zeke isn’t the model citizen,” I cleared my throat, “He wasn’t the model boyfriend either.” The temperature in the car started climbing the longer Beck watched me, looking like he had something else to say. Instead of follow-up questions, he kissed the back of my hand and got out of the car. I let out a breath and started to open the door.

  Beck got there first and opened it, offering his hand to help me out. I let him pull me up and into him, “Neither am I, but I’m gonna give it a shot. Okay?” I got a kiss on the forehead and he took my hand to walk down the sidewalk.

  At the end of the block we crossed the busy street, toward Market Square. A wide space of benches and a stage lined by restaurants made up the square and it served the purpose of hosting every event downtown. The concrete stage steps had people eating, kids darted in and out of the water geysers in the center and musicians played with open cases near the patch of grass and trees. Across the square, Beck held the door to the café and led us in, giving a name for the reservation he made and smiling down at me. I smiled back, but didn’t mean it. Maybe Beck had a shitty past, but I still couldn’t figure out what the man was doing taking me out. I had to seem like a kid to him. I couldn’t even legally drink for a while, not to mention being broken and pregnant. Does he just have a thing for hot messes?

  We were seated and ordered drinks after Beck waved the wine menu away. Yet another reminder that our playing field wasn’t even, “How long have you been playing piano?” Beck leaned in to listen to me, and I stared a minute. My date was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen from his messy hair to his panty-melting smirk and muscular everything.

  I remembered him asking me a question and shook my head, “Since I was five. Mom made us all pick an activity, and I always loved music. It just stuck.” I picked at my nails, “What about your Mom? You said it’s her piano?”

  “Yeah, she played up until the Parkinson’s got too bad, but we couldn’t get rid of the piano. I think she’s played her whole life. You have natural talent, Doll. Even Ma said so.” Beck looked me over, tipping the side of his mouth up just a little.

  I mumbled a thank you and my phone rang. It was a Colorado number. A lump formed in my throat and I silenced my phone. It rang again and Beck tipped his head at the buzzing phone. I had changed my number as soon as I came to town. I silenced it again. The buzzing started again. Same phone number.

  “Answer it if you need.” Beck either missed how nervous I was, or didn’t care.

  “Hello?” my voice shook, terrified of who I’d hear on the othe
r end of the line. My stomach threatened to make me need to throw up again.

  “Meredith?” The voice made my stomach churn more.

  “How did you get my number?” I stared at the condensation running down my glass, not daring to look at my date. I could feel him staring at me.

  “The internet.” Travis sounded like he thought he was really clever, “You up and vanished. The number was disconnected, and when I asked Zeke, he didn’t answer.” I knew better than to think he was really worried. Travis was Zeke’s puppet.

  “Lose this number. Don’t call me back.” Travis was a perv and a jackass, but not anything like Zeke. It didn’t mean I wanted Zeke to get my number from him.

  “Did you go back home?” The question made the alarms go off in my head and I closed my eyes. They were looking for me. All my nightmares, my fears came crashing in.

  “No. Leave me alone, Travis,” I hung up and dropped my phone on the table a little too loudly.

  Beck touched my arm and I came back to reality, “Gonna explain that?”

  I met his light brown eyes and sighed, “Travis is Zeke’s best friend. I don’t know why he’s calling me.”

  “Do they know about the baby?” Beck stared me down, and I shook my head, “Do you think Zeke wants to know where you are? Or does that asshole want to know?”

  I looked around nervously, “I don’t know. Travis was always a jerk. When Zeke wasn’t around he would mess with me, and always complained about Zeke not sharing me.” I swallowed, finally daring to glance up at Beck.

  He nodded slowly, his jaw ticking under the strain, “Okay.” We both just stared for a moment until the waitress appeared with our food and we snapped out of it. Beck and I were off to a rough start to say the least, but he quickly changed the subject, “Were you studying music?”

  “Education actually, but the plan was to be a music teacher. I didn’t get very far though,” The guy had ten years’ worth of career under his belt, but I had nothing, “Maybe once things are more settled here…”

  “You mean after the baby?” Beck talked about me being pregnant so nonchalantly. It was awkward as hell for me, but Beck was unmoved by the fact that I was having a baby that wasn’t his. Not that it should have been his, but he was the one across from me.

  “Yeah. Maybe I can go back to get my degree. I like The Dog House, but it’s not really a long-term solution. Everything in my life is kind of temporary right now.” I shoved food in my mouth, trying not to say anything else on the subject.

  Beck watched me, I watched him, and finally he spoke, “So how far apart will the babies be?”

  “A few weeks. I think I’m six weeks or so behind Cori.” I stabbed a bite of food and bit my lip, pushing the chicken across my plate.

  “Why do you do that?” Beck tipped my chin up to make me look at him, “Why can’t the baby be a topic of conversation? You look ashamed as hell when anything about it gets brought up.” Maybe because I am.

  I swallowed, trying to come up with an answer, but a woman appeared next to us, and Beck let my chin go, “I just wanted to tell you two how sweet you are,” I looked up and the woman’s eyes went wide, “Oh, honey.” Connie from my bus ride reached for me and I stood to throw my arms around her. She squeezed me to her, but quickly pushed me back to rest her hands on my stomach, “I thought maybe that was the case on the bus, but didn’t want to ask.” She looked at Beck with complete disgust, “You look better. Are you two celebrating?” Her tone changed entirely, looking like she wanted to beat Beck’s ass.

  “First date,” Beck stood up and offered his hand. Connie shook it, “Beck Layton.”

  “Connie Shields.” She looked from me to Beck and back, obviously confused.

  “It’s complicated,” I mumbled, sitting back down in my chair.

  “It’s actually pretty simple. After three weeks of chasing her, Meredith finally agreed to go to dinner with me,” Beck smirked at me and my chest fluttered.

  “Well, congratulations on the date and the little one. Call me sometime to catch up, Meredith.” I promised I would, and Connie went back to her table with her husband, while I was left to explain her to my date. There was no way Connie missed the bruises when we met on the bus, so I had to explain those to Beck too.

  BECK

  I paid the check and watched Meredith pick at her nails, not wanting to talk. The further into our date we got, the more she closed off. After her friend showed up, she shut down completely. I took her hand, leading her outside and backed her into the wall next to the restaurant, “We need to talk,” She nodded once and looked away from me, “I want this, Doll. I know it’s not normal, but I do. You can go on not believing me, or you can accept it, up to you.”

  “You want me now, Beck, but what about when I’m the size of a house, or when I’m getting up every two hours with a newborn. That’s the reality. I’m having a baby and my priorities are going to change. Everything is going to change. Will you still want me then?” Tears welled in her eyes and I stopped one with my thumb, unsure of my answer. My brain knew the logistics. She’d have a baby that wasn’t mine, and if I wanted her, I’d have to be okay with it. I changed my life for her, and would try like hell to keep it up, but what if I couldn’t? What if I slipped? Failure wasn’t an option if a child came into the picture.

  “Can we worry about that when we get there?” It was the best I had for her at that moment, “I know I want you, Doll. I know the baby doesn’t change that, and I know I could fall in love with you. You make me a better person and I need to hang on to that, but I’m not going to make promises. I just want to see where this goes.” Meredith threw her arms around my neck and kissed me. I caught her around the waist and kissed her back, glad my answer was what she wanted to hear. I had no idea how I’d handle the future, but I was handling the now well. The baby just made me more possessive, if something happened, there was more at stake. I never wanted kids, ever, but felt possessive as hell over her and that baby.

  Meredith pulled away, “I think I can accept that answer.”

  “Good, now let’s go before we’re late.” I took her hand and pulled her back up to Main Street, toward the second part of our date. The Tennessee Theater had always been an East Tennessee landmark, but I’d never been. As soon as I asked Meredith to dinner, I used trusty google to look up any type of music in the area and got lucky as hell. We stopped at the will-call and Meredith squeezed my arm, obviously excited for what was going on.

  “The Symphony? You brought me to the symphony?” I took the tickets from the woman at the window and Meredith hugged me, kissing my cheek excitedly. I froze. No wonder Briggs was so fucking happy. Harriet was always in his lap, kissing his cheek, swatting his ass as he walked by. The woman was too in love with him to function and her husband returned it. I suddenly understood.

  I stopped Meredith inside the door, “Did I do all right?” She nodded, smiling, and kissed me softly again. Before she walked off, I jerked her back into my chest, “Do that again.” Meredith peered up at me through her lashes and ran her free hand up my chest and around my neck. She went to her toes and put the sweetest kiss on my lips, then my cheek, then my chin. Who needs booze when you have this?

  I kissed her forehead and Mere snatched the tickets to find our seats. We got settled and I draped my arm over the back of her seat. She laid her head on my shoulder and I leaned down to her ear, “Why did you say that about being hugged?”

  Meredith pulled her head off my shoulder to answer, “It’s just been a long time since I trusted anyone. Zeke wasn’t the cuddly type. Being held is nice.” I kissed her head when she laid it back down.

  The lights went down, the music started, and Meredith sighed against me. A few pieces they played, had her drumming her fingers on the armrest, playing an invisible piano. When I looked down at her, her eyes were closed and she looked so relaxed, peaceful. Meredith trusted me entirely, or enough to close her eyes and lean into me, let me hold her. I tilted my head to watch her enjoy the
music. Something came over me and I swallowed the lump forming in my throat. I couldn’t mess it up, and that was it. I had to keep myself together no matter what happened, no matter how hard. Even if we fought, even if I didn’t think I could handle her being pregnant, or having a newborn. I had to keep my shit together and be the man Meredith needed. There was no way I could live my life without Meredith in it.

  The lights came up for intermission, and Meredith blinked up at me, smiling big enough to make her nose wrinkle, “Bathroom break?” She nodded, pushing off me and stretching. I followed her out of our row and up the red carpeted incline to the lobby. I propped against the wall, checking my phone while she waited in the line to use the bathroom.

  “Beck?” I looked up from my phone to see Dennis Wegman coming toward me with a woman hanging from his arm. She looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn’t place her. Maybe she’d been with him at his place.

  “Dennis,” I shook his hand, “Good to see you.” I lied. I never wanted to see the fucker again.

  The woman reached for my hand, but instead of shaking it, she slid hers from my wrist to my face, “How ya doing, Beck?”

  Before I could answer, Meredith appeared, “I will never understand why it takes women so long to pee,” She looked at the couple in front of us and the woman’s hand on my cheek, “Oh. Hello.” I got a hateful glare.

  “Hey, Doll,” I wrapped a protective arm around her shoulders, and the woman’s hand fell from my face. Meredith didn’t need any more shitty people in her life, or to think I was with someone else, “This is my friend, Dennis, and his…” I trailed off, not having a clue who the woman was or how I knew her.

  “Cynthia. Dennis is my husband,” The memory slammed into me when Cynthia smiled at me, shaking Meredith’s hand, and I realized how bad I fucked up, “And you are?”