The Will

by Kristen Ashley

  “Definitely,” I agreed. “But can you see that the person who knew you were right for me was the only person who knew the true me, knew what I wanted, knew what I needed, and picked you for me?”

  He said nothing so I took that as a yes.

  “You did what you had to do,” I said quietly. “And it’s done. And in the end, I have my dream. And I’m hoping since you love me that you have what you want too. Now can we let it go and move on?”

  “I know you wanted kids, Josie.”

  “And now I have them, Jake.”

  I felt his body lock on mine so I took that opportunity to use my hands at his jaws and pull him down to me. I lifted my head at the same time and touched my mouth to his before I dropped back to the pillow.

  “I thank you for giving that to me, darling. You didn’t need to but now I have it, I’ll treasure it. All of it. But seriously, can we let this go and move on?”

  “It’s gonna sting, baby, havin’ you, havin’ what we got, knowin’ I coulda had it longer, givin’ it to you longer, givin’ you even more, all of that if I got my head outta my ass.”

  I smiled at him and replied, “I’ll make it better.”

  He stared into my eyes and whispered, “Fuck, I love you.”

  I’d never tire hearing that.

  Never.

  Even with the expletive.

  “And I you,” I shared. “And now I’d love it if you’d get off me so I can clean up and we can sleep. Six o’clock rolls around fast and tomorrow, I’ve got to hire some interior decorators. We’re moving into Gran’s room upstairs. It has its own bathroom and as it is, it’s kind of a pain to tiptoe down the hall so I don’t wake up the kids when I have to go clean up after you make love to me.”

  Finally, his eyes smiled.

  “We movin’ to Lavender House?” he asked.

  “Your house is wonderful, Jake, and you fixed it up. The kids love it here. As do I. But we’d all love it more being with Gran.”

  His thumb swept my temple and he whispered, “Yeah.”

  “But only after I redecorate the master suite. All those flowers…” I trailed off as I shook my head on the pillow.

  That got me another smile and another, “Yeah.”

  “Now, are you going to get off me?” I asked.

  “Yeah and no.”

  This confused me so I tipped my head to the side. “Pardon?”

  “This is the no part,” he stated right before he kissed me, long, deep, wet and sweet. When he lifted his head, he finished, ‘Now you get the yeah.”

  I laughed softly as he rolled off.

  Then I rolled into him, bent and kissed his stomach, his midriff, his ribs, between his pectorals, his collarbone, his neck, under his ear.

  Showering him with kisses. Spreading my love everywhere.

  When I finished and looked into his eyes, I knew he’d felt it.

  And he liked it.

  So I kissed his lips, rolled off the bed and went to the bathroom.

  I cleaned up and tugged on a nightie before sliding into bed beside him.

  He reached out to turn out the light and cuddled me close as he settled us in.

  I cuddled closer, murmuring, “Definitely need to move to Gran’s room just for the master bath.”

  “Yeah,” he replied.

  I nestled deeper.

  Jake gave me a squeeze.

  “Love you, darling,” I whispered into his skin.

  “Right back at cha, Slick,” he did not whisper back.

  I smiled.

  And mere minutes later, tucked tight to my man, I fell asleep.

  * * * * *

  “Yo! Josie!” I heard Jake call.

  It was early afternoon the next day and I was in the light room looking for a recorder.

  “Light room!” I yelled, shuffling through the detritus in Gran’s desk and deciding that tomorrow I would tackle it and organize it.

  I’d need to do that since I had not only managed to make appointments with the two interior designers that had businesses in the county, I had phoned New York and began negotiations to take the job with the up-and-coming designer. He was considering once every six weeks visits from me for a week so I could take meetings as well as very limited travel for runway shows and the like.

  Thus, if my conditions were accepted, I’d need an organized desk.

  I was looking forward to working in the light room, being with Gran as I did it.

  So I very much was hoping he’d accept my terms.

  “Babe.” I heard Jake say and looked from the desk to the opening of the spiral staircase where he’d appeared.

  “Hey, darling,” I replied.

  “How’d shit go?” he asked, moving to me at the desk.

  “Two appointments with designers, both tomorrow. And I called New York. My conditions are being considered,” I answered, having turned my attention back to what I was doing, still rifling through Gran’s desk.

  I felt him stop by the desk as he replied, “Right,” Then he asked, “What are you doing?”

  I looked up at him then reached to the desk and took the envelope with the tape in it and gave it to him.

  He looked down at the writing before he looked into the envelope I’d opened and his eyes cut to me. “From Lydie?”

  “I found it in her safe deposit box,” I shared.

  “Fuckin’ hell,” he muttered.

  I again focused on the drawer I was going through. “I’m looking for a recorder so I can listen to it.”

  I found nothing but heard Jake slide open a drawer to help.

  Seconds later, he said, “Here.”

  I looked to him to see he had a dictation machine held up in his hand.

  And suddenly, I found I couldn’t catch my breath.

  “Slick,” Jake called and my eyes lifted to his. His roamed to my face and his voice gentled when he noted, “You can give this time.”

  Slowly, I shook my head.

  Jake took that in, assessed my expression for long moments then nodded.

  I watched as he loaded the tape into the machine and after that, I had no choice but to follow him to the window seat since he’d grabbed hold of my hand and guided me there.

  In Jake fashion, he then arranged us in the seat as he wanted us. Jake behind me, his legs up on the seat surrounding me, my back against his front, his arms wrapped around me, cocooning me in his strength, his protection, his safety.

  I drew in a deep breath and rested my arms on his at my middle.

  “Ready?” he whispered in my ear.

  “Yes,” I whispered to the sea.

  I heard a click then nothing for long seconds before I heard Gran’s voice.

  Josie, my buttercup, she said. If you’re listening to this, I’m gone.

  I closed my eyes tight.

  And by the time you listen to this, you’ll have met Jake.

  I opened my eyes and Jake’s arms pulled me deeper into his body.

  I knew the moment I saw him that he was perfect for you. I also knew from the expression on his face when he saw your picture, he knew you were perfect for him too.

  Oh God.

  I made a noise in the back of my throat as I swallowed the tears clogging there and turned. I wrapped my arms around Jake and pressed my forehead into his neck as I continued to stare at the sea and listen to the beloved voice of my Granny.

  It’s likely, by this time, Gran went on, that Arnie’s read my will to you. You’re probably confused and perhaps alarmed. I don’t wish to pain you with this knowledge, but even after your assertions that you were content with your life, I was troubled. I didn’t want you to be content, my buttercup. I wanted you to be happy. So I did what I needed to make you that way. I gave you to Jake and doing it, gave Jake to you.

  I pressed my forehead in Jake’s neck.

  He’ll make you happy, my precious Josie.

  A tear slid down my cheek and, as if sensing it, Jake pulled me even closer.

  Now, there are
some things you need to know, Gran stated, suddenly sounding all business. Conner, Jake’s eldest, has a tendency to collect girls. I think for boys of his age this is not unusual. But for Conner, I feel it’s something else. He admires his father but he’s very intelligent. I think, watching his father be unlucky in love, he’s searching for the right one. But he’s going about it the wrong way. You need to handle that.

  It was then a giggle escaped my throat just as a chuckle rumbled in Jake’s chest.

  And he won’t tell you, he prefers filling his body with what he calls proteins and carbs, by that he means is meat and rolls, but he needs vegetables and it took me some time but I found that Conner likes peas.

  “Peas,” I whispered, wondering why I hadn’t yet served them and knowing that night, I would.

  Amber, Jake’s daughter, Gran continued, is enchanted with an inappropriate young man. She is very sweet but has no idea of her charms. She thinks she’s fortunate to have caught his eye and doesn’t understand it’s the other way around. You need to find a way to communicate that with her and untangle her from that situation. From what she’s told me, this Noah person is unworthy of her but I have not been able to get her to understand this is true. Please see to that, for Amber deserves much better.

  A huge smile had spread on my face and I felt Jake’s body shaking with laughter.

  Finally, Ethan, Jake’s youngest, well…what is there to say about that darling boy? Not much except he’s a darling boy who needs a mother.

  My smile died and Jake stopped laughing.

  See to that too, buttercup, Gran ordered. And in doing so, watch his diet. He’s a growing boy and it’s understandable that he’s hungry nearly constantly. But sometimes he overindulges. Put a stop to that, will you?

  Warmth spread through me for a variety of reasons when Jake rested his jaw on the top of my head and gathered me ever closer.

  I have many things to say about Jake, Gran remarked. But I have a feeling they won’t need to be said. This is because I’ve no doubt Jake will show you all that needs to be said. I just encourage you, my precious girl, to allow him to say them in his way. I promise you…promise you, Josie, you’ll wish to hear them.

  I curled my fingers into Jake’s sweater.

  My girl, know this and never forget. It’s never too late to reach for happiness and no matter what life has done to you, it’s never too late to find it. Please don’t be offended when I share with you that I know you’ve been hiding. I know why. I understand it, buttercup, but it’s time to come into the light. I’ve found someone special to help guide the way. Please, Josie, take Jake’s hand and let him guide you to happiness.

  The tears slid down my cheek and Jake pressed his jaw into my hair.

  And last, I love you, Josie. I know the things I just told you are true because I had many things happen in my life, things that would lead me to believe I’d never find anything but contentment at best. But when you entered my life, I found happiness.

  My body bucked with my sob and Jake pulled me up so I could shove my face in his neck.

  Thank you, buttercup, Gran said softly, for being the light of my life. I treasured you from the moment you were born, to the time I sit here saying these things to you, to the time I take my last breath and I’ll treasure you beyond it. This is because you’re a treasure, my Josie. You always have been and you always will.

  My breath hitched with my sob as the tears flowed freely down my cheeks and into the skin of Jake’s neck.

  Tell Jake, Conner, Amber and Ethan they held special places in my heart, will you, buttercup? I know it will be sad to know that when you weren’t with me, although I had a full life, I often felt empty. Until I met them and they filled my life with such beauty. Such great beauty.

  “Jesus,” Jake murmured, his voice rough.

  I knew what that meant and gave him a loving squeeze.

  And I know they will do the same for you, Josie, if you let them. Please let them, buttercup.

  I drew in a deep breath to control my tears.

  It didn’t work.

  Good-bye, my precious girl, Gran said and the tears slid faster down my cheeks. I’ll love you always. Forever and completely.

  I heard the click, then silence which was broken by the sound of my sob as it filled the room.

  I knew Jake put the recorder aside when his arms got even tighter and one hand slid up into my hair, his fingers gliding through it, holding me, stroking me, soothing me.

  He held me close for some time. It could have been minutes; it could have been hours before my tears abated.

  Then he held me for longer.

  My eyes scratchy, my heart hurting, my lips moved.

  “She gave me everything,” I told Jake.

  “Yeah, baby,” he replied.

  “And then she died and she gave it to me again.”

  I felt his body give a slight jerk before it settled and he said, “Yeah, Slick, she gave me that too.”

  Gran gave Jake that too.

  I closed my eyes.

  Then I opened them, pulled slightly away and lifted my head to catch my man’s gaze.

  “I need to clean up and go pick up Ethan.”

  Jake looked into my eyes for long moments.

  Then finally, I watched fascinated as his eyes—an unusual stormy gray—changed colors to a beautiful light blue.

  And this was when they smiled.

  Epilogue

  Forever and Completely

  “It’s done?” Jake asked.

  Arnie nodded, smiling, “It’s all there.”

  Jake looked at him and then looked down to the envelope Arnie had just handed him wondering how something so huge could be contained in an envelope.

  “Dad!”

  He heard Ethan shout and moved his gaze in that direction.

  Ethan, in his little man tuxedo, was racing toward him and doing it so fast he wasn’t able to control himself so when he arrived, he slammed into Jake.

  Jake stood steady, steadying his son by doing it, and put a hand to his boy’s shoulder.

  Ethan was staring up at him and his voice was excited when he asked, “Is that it?”

  Jake looked down at his son, memorizing the expression on his face, hoping like fuck he never forgot it.

  “Yeah, bud, that’s it,” he confirmed.

  “Cool,” Ethan breathed, jumped away and declared, “I’m gonna go get Con and Amber. Can we do it now? Can we?”

  They sure as fuck could.

  “Absolutely,” he replied and he didn’t have the full word out before Ethan sprinted away.

  “This is perhaps the most beautiful present there ever was,” Arnie stated and Jake turned his eyes to the man. “I’m honored to have played my part,” he finished.

  Jake smiled at him and replied, “Still plannin’ on payin’ the bill.”

  At that, Arnie shook his head, “Oh no, Jake. My present to you. And Josie. And your children on this joyous day.”

  Before Jake could protest, Arnie clapped him on the arm and quickly walked away.

  Jake watched him for a beat then he turned his head and took in the expanse.

  There were white tents to either side of the back of Lavender House, these and the tables set out in the sun were decorated with bouquets of sprigs of lavender taken from the bushes around the house, white roses and lilies of the valley.

  The sea glinted in the sun.

  The garden had been planted but there wasn’t much there but rich dark dirt broken up by green shoots.

  And the wisteria over the arbor was in full bloom, but many of its purple petals had detached in the slight breeze, drifting confetti across the space. In fact, forty minutes ago, when he kissed Josie there after she was declared his wife, a breeze blew up, scattering petals everywhere.

  He hadn’t seen it. He was busy kissing his wife. But Alyssa told him about it, showing him and Josie a picture Junior had taken on his phone, declaring it, “Effing awesome.”

  And fr
om what he saw in the picture, Jake had to agree.

  He turned his eyes back and saw that Ethan had found Amber and was pulling her away from Alexi, boy Taylor, girl Taylor and Kieran Wentworth. This meant Ethan had pulled Amber from Alexi’s arm, which was wrapped around her waist. He tore his eyes off that and saw Kieran’s arm the same around Taylor.

  It was then he grinned.

  Girl Taylor was a stunning, loyal, sweet young woman any guy would be lucky to have.

  But still.

  That was all Josie.

  He watched his daughter in her lavender bridesmaid’s dress and his youngest son move across the grass and he looked in the direction they were going.

  There he saw Conner in his tuxedo lounging in a white chair at one of the tables. Sofie was sitting close to him and Con had his arm slung along the back of her chair.

  Sofie reminded Jake a lot of Josie so Jake was unsurprised when they finally got their shit together, got tight and kept tight. Conner was happy. Sofie was happy. Alyssa was ecstatic. And Junior had managed to hold his shit. Like Jake when it came to his daughter having a boyfriend, not enjoying it much, but he’d done it.

  Conner would be going to Boston University in a few months, which would totally fucking suck.

  Luckily, Jake knew without a doubt he’d be coming back a lot. To see his old man, his family and his girl.

  Right then, he saw Conner had his arm on Sofie’s chair but his eyes were aimed at his brother and sister.

  He knew it was time.

  They’d planned this.

  All of them.

  Therefore, before Amber and Ethan made it to him, Jake watched as Conner turned his head to his girl and said something in her ear that made her smile.

  Then he kissed her briefly, got up and looked to his dad.

  Jake jerked up his chin.

  Conner nodded and started to make his way to Jake.

  That was when Jake again scanned the space but he knew where she was.

  Still, in doing it, he saw Donna sitting with Alyssa. Alyssa, also in a bridesmaid dress, was talking. Donna was smiling.

  She’d pulled her head out of her ass and it took her a while but she put in the effort and got results.

  Conner and Amber didn’t stay at her house but they saw each other and often.