Jagged Edges

by Denise Bower

  I skated until sweat dripped down my neck and my body ached from falling. The only reason I’d stepped off the ice was because I successfully completed every triple except the axel. Very few women could do a triple axel. The only way I’d ever completed one was with the help of Viktor.

  I dabbed my face with a towel and inserted a disk into the player. A hauntingly beautiful song filled the arena, and I let it carry me across the ice. And then, for some unknown reason, I started to cry. I finally had to stop skating and lean on the boards because the tears blinded me.

  A shrink would probably tell me I needed it, to really let everything go and accept my losses.

  “Hey, you okay? You hurt?” a man asked, gently touching my shoulder.

  “Fuck,” I said. I blinked and ended up looking into the bright blue eyes of Carter Murphy. “I’m fine. Just overtired.”

  I wiped the tears with the back of my hand and blinked a few more times.

  “I’ll get out of your way,” I muttered and opened the door to step off the ice. He blocked my path.

  “You don’t have to leave because I’m here. It’s a big sheet of ice with lines already drawn. You can have this half and I’ll stay on the other side.”

  “Very funny,” I said.

  He handed me a bottle of water, which I accepted and drank from deeply.

  “I never got the chance to really say thanks for helping me out with Teresa.”

  “Who is she?”

  “A fan who’s taken it too far,” he said. “I didn’t think she’d make the trip here. Obviously I was wrong.”

  “You looked uncomfortable.”

  He took a deep breath and held out his hand. “Skate with me.”

  I hadn’t touched anyone on the ice since the dreaded tryouts Leo had arranged. I shook my head, sidestepped him, and took off, beckoning for him to catch me. With a few hard pushes, he matched me stride for stride and grinned.

  “I know who you are,” I said.

  “And who I am?”

  “Or at least who you used to be.”

  “What’s that mean?”

  “Carter Gibson, figure skater.”

  He stopped so quickly I almost ran over him. He stared at me, and I could see the panic in his eyes as all the color drained from his face. “I suppose you’re going to out me to all the guys.”

  “Out you?”

  It took a few seconds for me to realize he was embarrassed to be associated with figure skating.

  “Why would I do that? I’m not going to tell anyone, but what difference does it make? Is that why you changed your name?”

  “Changing my name had nothing to do with figure skating,” he shouted.

  “Jesus, chill out,” I said, which was probably the wrong thing to say.

  “Chill out? Are you kidding? I don’t want my dirty laundry aired in public. I’ve managed to keep the guys, and the media, out of my business and now, it’s all going to come out. I knew he recognized me,” he grumbled. “I competed against Sawyer Jones.”

  I threw up my hands. “If you say anything bad about Sawyer, I will end you right here,” I snarled.

  “Stay out of my business!”

  “I’m not interested in your fucking business,” I growled.

  He glared at me with fire blazing in his eyes. Before I could think things through, I reached up, grabbed his collar, and pulled him closer, so I could press my lips against his, effectively silencing him.

  It took about four seconds before I realized what I’d done. I tried to push away, but he put his arm around my waist, yanking me against his body. When he opened his mouth and slid his tongue against mine, I melted into him and lost myself in the kiss. His muscles flexed and shifted against me as he moved closer, making my body temperature soar. I wondered if the ice was going to melt. Suddenly common sense took hold, and I gasped, slowly untangling from him.

  “Holy shit,” I murmured.

  “Jesus Christ,” he said at the same time.

  “I’m sorry,” I said and skated away before he could respond. I jumped the boards, grabbed my bag, and headed for the exit. I raced out of the building, half hoping he would follow me. My more sensible side hoped this had all been a dream.

  I made it to my car, wrenched open the door, and climbed inside. I clenched the steering wheel for a few seconds before I finally remembered how to start the vehicle and find my way home.

  Unfortunately I was a little noisy and woke Sawyer. He swore at me, so I ran into the bathroom, slammed the door, and called him on the phone.

  “Vika,” he groaned. “It’s three in the morning.”

  “I know, and I’m sorry I woke you, but I need to talk to you.”

  “What now?”

  “I ran into Carter at the rink.”

  He immediately asked me what I’d been doing there, so I had to disclose that I’d been skating. Then I had to tell him about the kiss.

  “I wanted to punch him.”

  “So you kissed him instead?”

  “Yes.”

  “And then you ran away?”

  “Well, no, I skated away and then ran.”

  “And what did he do?”

  “I don’t know. I was horrified. I drove home wearing my skates.”

  “And what are you doing now?”

  “Sitting in the bathroom with the door locked and talking to you. You need to save me,” I begged.

  “I don’t know how to do that.”

  “Do you think I could still be a dancing bear in that show you quit?”

  He snorted. “You, my dear, are no longer qualified to be in that show. You look after hockey players now, and you’re damn good at it. You are not allowed to run away from a good thing just because you kissed a guy.”

  He tapped on the door, and I stuffed my phone in my pocket, slid off the counter, and came out of the bathroom.

  “Oh, doll,” he said, shaking his head. “Oh….” He gasped, staring at me with wide eyes. “ You like like him.”

  It took a few seconds before I caught on to his meaning. “What? No! Are you crazy? I don’t even know him, and he’s a world class dick.”

  “So,” he said.

  “So? That’s what you’re going with?”

  “He’s always been sort of a dick, and seriously, I think it’s an act to keep people away. Just admit it, you like the guy.”

  I snorted and tried to form a sentence, but nothing came out of my mouth but grunts and whines.

  He chuckled. “You’re not denying it.”

  “You are no longer my best friend. I’m replacing you with some random off the street.”

  He shook his head and hustled me into the bedroom with a smile on his face that made me cringe. He did allow me to snuggle him, so at least I got a few hours of much-needed sleep.

  Morning was not welcomed. Sawyer bitched about his lack of beauty sleep, and when we discovered we had no coffee, we both thought the world was going to end.

  “I thought you were going to the store?” I snapped.

  “I haven’t had time,” he said. “Give me a minute. I think there’s enough stuff for a smoothie.”

  He fussed in the kitchen while I gathered my things. I tripped over a pile of bags and cursed the items, vowing for the one-hundredth time to clean my apartment.

  “I have to go,” I yelled over the sound of the blender.

  “I’ll be there in a second,” Sawyer said.

  Sleep deprived and bleary eyed, I stumbled out of the apartment and ran into Carter.

  “Hey,” he said.

  Alex came bustling out of his apartment, interrupting our awkward moment, grumbling about people who drank all his coffee.

  “Don’t miss your bus,” Alex shouted to Shelby. “Oh, hi, Vika. You look like shit. Did someone drink all your coffee?” He scowled at Carter before shoving him down the hall.

  “Wait for me,” Sawyer shouted. He handed me a smoothie and grinned.

  “Now that’s a nice houseguest,” Alex said.


  “What’s his problem?” Sawyer asked.

  “Apparently someone drank all his coffee,” I said and Sawyer snorted.

  “Mind if we drop my car at the garage?” Sawyer asked. “It needs an oil change.”

  “Sure, but I doubt I’ll have time to bring you over there when it’s done. I have a million things to do today.”

  “That’s fine. The mechanic said he’d drop it at the rink.” Sawyer leaned into me. “Your boy is looking quite delish this morning.”

  “Shut up. He’s not my boy.”

  He chuckled when Carter turned to glance at us.

  “You sure about that?” Sawyer asked.

  I punched him, making him shout and chase me down the stairs.

  Practice was long and arduous. In fact the entire day seemed to stretch out endlessly. I found myself yearning to know what Sawyer was doing. I’d caught a glimpse of him several times, but we never had the chance to chat. At the end of the day, he left me a voicemail telling me he was already home.

  When I finally dragged my butt back to my apartment, grumpy and exhausted, my kitchen table was filled with people, including Carter, who was arguing with Shelby about the lake and ice formations. I’d had visions of passing out on the couch in front of the television.

  “What’s going on?” I asked.

  “Dinner,” Sawyer said. “Come in and sit down. You look like shit.”

  “Yes, thank you,” I said. “I’ve been getting that a lot lately.”

  “We’re helping Sawyer think of names for his academy. I’m his first pupil, so he’s letting me have a say too,” Shelby said proudly.

  “Are you firing me?” I asked her.

  Her eyes widened, and she shook her head violently. “No. Sawyer said you’d help as much as you could, but we all know the team comes first.”

  “Just get over here and help us think of a name so I can take care of all the business stuff and get this thing going. These people are not creative. In fact, they’re pretty worthless in that department. I desperately need a name. I already have people calling me for ice time,” Sawyer said.

  Alex pulled out a chair and set a bowl of hot stew in front of me. My mouth watered, and I decided to join the odd collection of people gathered around my table. And I couldn’t help it if my gaze kept shifting towards Carter.

  Conversation returned to naming Sawyer’s academy. Carter made up some silly name and Shelby laughed so hard she almost snorted milk out her nose. Sawyer pretended to be thoroughly disgusted by everyone. Alex finally had to drag Shelby away, telling her she needed to get some rest.

  “Wait,” Shelby said. “Can I show her what we did today?”

  Sawyer nodded his head but quickly leaned down to whisper in my ear. “Please pretend to be happy.”

  Shelby grabbed my hand and dragged me into my bedroom where I came face-to-face with a wall filled with all of my awards. In the center of the display was my silver medal from the 2014 Olympics.

  “It shouldn’t be crammed in a box,” Shelby said. “You should be proud of what you accomplished.”

  I took a deep breath, realizing that if I remained silent for too long, Shelby would believe she did something wrong.

  “You’re right,” I said and gave her a hug. “Thank you for doing this.”

  She beamed and skipped out of the room, scolding Sawyer for not believing I would be thrilled. I didn’t really know how I felt, but at least I made her happy. And for now, that was enough.

  “She’s right, ya know. You should be proud of what you did. You were good,” Carter said as he touched the medal. “Still are.”

  “About last night,” I mumbled, feeling the heat of embarrassment stain my cheeks. I wasn’t exactly sure what to say. I thought about pleading insanity. “Can we just⁠—?”

  “Forget about it,” he said and left me standing in front of my own wall of fame more confused than ever because I didn’t really want to forget about it.

  When I heard the door shut, I wandered out of my room and dropped into a chair, watching while Sawyer cleared the table.

  “Congratulations on the academy,” I said. “I know I said we’d celebrate, but I can’t move.”

  “I do appreciate the gesture, but I smell like a hockey bag and have no desire to go out in public.” He stuck his nose inside his shirt and gagged.

  “Go take a shower,” I said. “We can do it another time. I have to go back to the arena to tie up some loose ends anyway.”

  He eyed me but remained silent. I had geared up for an argument or a barrage of questions, but instead he nodded and disappeared into the bathroom.

  I grabbed my bag and crept out of the apartment into the chilly night air. On the drive over, I found myself hoping that Carter would be there, which sort of horrified me and made me almost run a stoplight. A driver honked, so I kept my eyes on the road and tried to shove thoughts of Carter out the window. My mind insisted on dragging me back to that kiss, making my lips tingle.

  Disappointment flowed through me when I was met with an empty arena. But being alone meant I could really concentrate on my skating, and I spent an hour soaring around the ice. The jumps felt good, although I hadn’t tried a triple-triple yet. Viktor and I had only done the difficult combination once during competition. He fell; I didn’t. I needed a few more days of practice before I dared attempt one. If I was honest, I was amazed I could jump at all, but I’d been working hard with the hockey players and my fitness level was higher than it had been in years.

  I sat on the bench, unlacing my skates and questioning my motivation for skating in the middle of the night. Right now I told myself it just felt good.

  Chapter 10

  My night skating was about to be interrupted because today the team and I would be heading out for an extended road trip. Alex decided to have a major meltdown over leaving Shelby for a week. At first he’d assumed Carter wouldn’t be making the trip, but he was immediately shot down when Coach announced the line-up along with the departure time. Carter made sure to add he wasn’t a babysitter.

  “You’re staying in my apartment,” Alex said. “For free.”

  Thankfully Sawyer stepped in and saved the day by telling Alex he would make sure Shelby attended school, slept in her own bed, ate enough food to sustain life, and he also assured me she would be on the ice working on her competitive programs. With the team on the road, they would have plenty of open ice.

  “We registered her for the Midwest Sectionals,” Sawyer said. “I’ll get more done without you three around. I have several kids coming in this week. More than I thought would be calling. It’s the middle of the season. I didn’t count on having dozens of kids wanting to join my academy. I’ve also started to choreograph a new routine for Shelby. She won’t use it for sections, but she’s insisting.”

  “Did you pick a name?” I asked.

  “I decided to settle on Ritchfield Skating Academy.”

  “Catchy,” I said.

  It turned out management liked the name, and Sawyer couldn’t decide if he wanted to use his name in the title. I had voted for Soy Sauce’s House of Skating.

  “When you’ve coached several Olympic Champions, you can call it anything you want,” I said and squeezed his hand.

  “Thanks, doll.”

  I leaned against him and watched as the hockey players filed by us. He caught me staring at Carter.

  “What’s happening?” he asked.

  “Nothing,” I said.

  “Do you want something to happen?”

  “I don’t know? It’s not a good time to start anything new. My life is full of new things, and I’m already on overload.”

  “New isn’t necessarily bad,” Sawyer said. “Besides it’s time for you to move on.”

  “I’m not pining over Viktor.”

  “Never said you were.” He patted my cheek. “Now go get ready for this road trip.” He snickered. “Did you pack your skates?”

  “Maybe.”

  He kissed me
on the cheek just as Hank came around the corner yelling about the bus leaving.

  Cam didn’t even have to convince me to ride with the team. I wanted to go with them, and I revved the boys up by talking smack about the poker game, telling them I needed some extra spending money. Fifteen minutes into the trip, the card game was going strong. The guys tried to get Carter to join us, but he stayed in his seat, staring out the window and definitely ignoring me.

  The miles disappeared and much to the chagrin of the boys, I cleaned up. Things turned crazy when they insisted I was doing something devious. Cam came to my rescue and accused them of being bad sports. They all complained about lighter wallets. I eventually explained how my dad and his teammates had taught me how to play the game. Before my mom and dad divorced, they used to host the boys for dinners where we would play cards. It had become my normal to play poker with the guys. I was a card shark by the time I was ten years old.

  They prodded me for more information, but I couldn’t stop yawning. After all of the skating in the middle of the night, I was exhausted. Cam took pity on me and shut down our game, suggesting everyone observe some quiet time.

  I tried to go back to my seat, but Alex was sprawled over the entire row, sleeping open-mouthed and drooling. I shuffled forward and claimed a place next to Cam. He eyed me, but I ignored him and sat down, fluffing my pillow and burrowing under my blanket. Within minutes I’d fallen asleep and didn’t move until Cam poked me in the side and told me to get out of his way or I’d be toting his gear for the rest of the trip. I sneered at him but stumbled off the bus to help Hank move some of the equipment. The physical activity helped wake me up.

  With the bus unloaded, I led the guys through a quick skate to loosen their muscles from the long bus ride. Cam needed some help stretching out his hamstring, so I spent extra time with him. During the entire session, he lamented the fact he was getting too old for this game.

  The guys grabbed a meal while Hank and I sharpened skates, honed some stick blades, and set up our locker room. Alex showed up early and grumbled about some dumb bet he’d lost while taping Carter’s sticks.

  “He wraps them backwards,” Alex grumbled and threw another wadded up ball of tape into the garbage.