Brandi

by Donna McDonald

  Brandi nodded at the information. “I can drive a boat most any size, so you could get a pontoon or a recreational trawler. That should hold about twenty of whatever you think we’re going to find. I can also fly a plane in a pinch, but I’d prefer not to have to if we can avoid it. I’m happy to leave the flying to the cat men. But why are you planning on sedation? Unless the victims have gone mental from what they’ve endured, I would think they would want to escape with us.”

  “Yes, most want to escape,” Gareth admitted. “But not many want to go see more scientists and doctors, even if it might help them. It took me a long time to convince Lily she needed more help than Eva could provide… shit, never mind. That’s not important.”

  When Gareth drifted off and swore at his lapse, Brandi blinked at the accidental disclosure. Then she decided to fill in the rest for him. Gareth’s former mate was going to keep coming up in their work conversations. She was fairly sure of it, so he needed to stop filtering himself.

  “I already know your last mate was artificially inseminated with a hybrid fetus. I also know carrying the experimental fetus nearly killed her. Eventually she died anyway from complications. Translated from mad scientist speak to normal—your mate died from too much testing and too many experimental drugs. Have I missed anything important in her story?”

  Gareth let out a frustrated breath. “Sheldon told you.”

  “Shitty Sheldon said some things, but I got it from you and others too. Pieces of any puzzle typically come from lots of sources. I’m just really good at putting the pieces together,” Brandi said. She reached across the distance between them and put a hand on his knee.

  “There’s no reason not to tell me, Gareth. It’s not like I’m going to be jealous of someone you loved who died before I even knew you. Actually, I’m not the jealous type at all. If I ever have a problem like that, trust me—I’d let you know. I’m sorry Shitty Sheldon used your mate’s situation to trick you into helping him.”

  Gareth leaned back in the seat. “Blackmail explains the first decade or so, but doesn’t explain the next three I stayed on to work. I left the organization for a period after Lily died. But there had been nothing they could do for her for years before that. I eventually went back, trying to fix the unfixable I think, because I didn’t know what else to do. At that point, I didn’t see how I could ever return to the pack.”

  Brandi nodded. “Did you have to watch her suffer much? I know that can eat away at you. Been there several times with people I worked with and cared about.”

  Gareth sighed. “Lily suffered more on the inside than the out. She was never the same after her capture. Her wolf was more wounded than she was. By the time she finally passed away, she and I had almost no physical relationship left. I went a little crazy with women after she was gone. None of them were her, so they were interchangeable. Grief kept me from connecting to any of them. That’s how I was until you came along. You broke through the wall I’d been building around my heart.”

  Brandi pulled her hand back, laughing nervously over Gareth’s revelation. “That’s a touching segue to the present where you’re pressuring me for a permanent commitment, but I think there’s a lot you’re leaving out of your side of the story.”

  Gareth’s eyes widened at her irreverent tone. “Only you could see something romantic as a possible lie.”

  Brandi made a face, considering his comment. “Oh, I believe it’s partially the truth. But let’s try it from another angle. You stayed because Lily couldn’t be saved, but others could. You were making up for the same thing over and over—an endless loop of repentance for a sin you decided was your fault. People do that all the time, Gareth. It’s a common reaction to take ownership for something you were powerless to prevent from happening.”

  “I wasn’t powerless. Damn it—I was careless. Someone abducted my mate from my own house. Lily was hanging laundry outside and shifted to scare a bunch of rabbits out of the yard. They captured her in wolf form and took her away. Sheldon Crane showed up at my front door a week later and told me what he suspected had happened. If it hadn’t been for him, I would never have found Lily at all.”

  “Did you ever find out who took her?”

  Gareth sighed and shook his head. “No. Sheldon would never tell me and Lily never remembered. Her abductors kept her heavily sedated and in wolf form most of the time she was captured. Same thing as what you said they did to Reed—they put a silver collar around her neck. But now… now I think it was Randall Crane who took her. Sheldon knew better than to confess it.”

  Brandi sighed. And now she knew why Gareth tied her fate to Lily’s. A change of subject was needed. “Where did you pick up the cat men?”

  “Fallon and Lars were finishing their agent training when I first came to work for Sheldon. Because of their abilities, he sent them with me to get her. When I found her unconscious in a cage and pregnant, I tore the lab facility apart until there was nothing left of it. Afterwards, Sheldon sent in a cleanup crew just like I’m sure you’ve figured out he did with Feldspar.”

  Gareth paused in his story, sighing at how much he still felt like he’d failed his mate.

  “Lily had been in wolf form for over a month at that point. She couldn’t shift back. We went home to the pack and Eva. It took nearly a week for me to talk Lily into shifting. When she did, her body instantly aborted the experimental fetus. I still don’t know what the hell her captor was trying to do with her or the baby she lost.”

  “My God, Gareth. After all that, why in the hell did you agree to try and help Sheldon make werewolves?”

  “Partly it was payment for Lily’s ongoing care. Her werewolf genes had been damaged by some of what they’d done. Sheldon’s goal was to restore her back to normal. His experiments with me gave him data to try and help her. The experiment volunteers didn’t even get wolf capabilities. So Sheldon never succeeded in making werewolves, even when he copied his brother’s efforts.”

  Brandi nodded, her expression solemn as she figured out the timeline. “Then the three of us showed up in Wasilla and you saw someone had been successful at last. Now I know why you weren’t more shocked about our story.”

  Gareth frowned as he nodded in reply. “Yes, especially since I didn’t know Randall Crane was there. But what I mostly saw when I met you was another situation like Lily’s happening all over again. I figured if Sheldon knew sooner with you, maybe he’d have a better chance of helping you survive. Your gray goo story took years off my life. That isn’t really true, is it?”

  “Yes, it is. I wasn’t even exaggerating.” Brandi felt bad when Gareth bowed his head and swore. “Ariel said there were no guarantees we would continue indefinitely as we are right now. Nanotechnology hasn’t been tested enough to be sure of any outcome. Or at least it hasn’t according to what documented research shows. The three of us could live hundreds of years or just a few. We’re truly living experiments in that regard.”

  “Fucking scientists,” Gareth swore, clenching his fists on the arms of his seat. “Am I just a magnet for this kind of bad luck?”

  “Hello. Last time I checked, this wasn’t about you. I’m not Lily, Gareth. I didn’t even know you when Randall Crane captured me. And I haven’t been innocent about the world since my high school days. All of life is a risk and death comes to everyone eventually.”

  “Maybe I didn’t know you personally, but I knew about you. You were there one day with your binoculars watching Feldspar activities from the woods, and then you just disappeared. I should have gone looking for you the moment you went missing. My decision not to get more involved contributed to what happened to you just as much as Lane and Sheldon’s pissing contest led to you being left there without backup. All of us turned our backs when you needed help.”

  Brandi snorted and went back to studying her file. “Okay. You’re guilty of having apathy for a fellow agent regardless of which department she worked for at the time. Remind me to kick your ass for it later. But that’s all y
ou need to make up for in this case.”

  Jaw clenched, Gareth shook his head. “How can you say that? My apathy changed your destiny.”

  Brandi glanced back up and met his worried glare.

  “You didn’t change me. Some fucked up mad scientist did. While I would never have volunteered to be Crazy Crane’s guinea pig, I like what I’ve become. So does Ariel. I’m not completely sure about Heidi’s feelings, but I know she loves working at the healing center. Becoming a werewolf gave Heidi back the only thing in the world she ever wanted to do for a living. That’s three for three in the positive column for what destiny has brought my way.”

  Brandi frowned at his dejection. Gareth’s decision not to intervene had brought her much more than it had taken away. For once she truly didn’t blame him.

  “Look Gareth—if you insist on wearing a hair shirt while in human form, keep blaming yourself for Lily. That’s a past I can’t ever know. But don’t lose a moment of sleep worrying about accidentally helping Randall Crane. You inadvertently did me a favor and I wouldn’t change what happened.”

  Gareth sighed and let his tall body sink lower into the uncomfortable seat. Someone his height just didn’t fit well inside an airplane. “Too bad you can’t be so magnanimous about me not telling you about Sheldon.”

  “Sex was involved in that case. Lots of sex. In fact, it was the kind of sex you kept telling me meant more than it actually did evidently. I can only conclude my logic was compromised by all the orgasms you gave me. The lust haze cleared up when you didn’t warn me Shitty Sheldon was going to blackmail me into helping him.”

  “Would you please stop calling your work blackmail and extortion? You’re doing something important in helping rescue people like yourself.”

  “Tuh-mate-toe or tuh-maa-toe, dude. The bottom line is Shitty Sheldon is still forcing my hand. I don’t take coercion well. Just like I don’t normally sleep with men who stab me in the back.”

  “How many times am I going to have to say this before you start to believe it? I slept with you because I wanted you. The moment I saw you calming Ariel down after she defended you and Heidi from our pack, I knew you were going to be her Beta. I couldn’t let anyone else near you after that. Then one day you gathered up your clothes to leave my bedroom and it shocked me how much I wanted to beg you to stay. You would have run screaming if I’d admitted everything to you then. We argued about you staying in my bed that night and I lost—just like usual. If you had willingly stayed with me, I might have gotten up the nerve to tell you. I’m not saying my cowardice was your fault, but you have to know how intimidating you are.”

  Brandi snickered. “I remember that night. You kept wanting me to talk about my feelings. I just wanted you to stop asking so many questions. But if I remember correctly, you ended up spending the night with me anyway. Face it, Gareth. There were a dozen times you could have told me the truth when I might have listened with an open mind.”

  Gareth snorted. “Right. You with an open mind. Like that’s a remote possibility.”

  “If you’re going to be sarcastic about my every answer, we’re done discussing this.”

  Gareth shook his head. “Not quite. I see now I need to be as blunt as possible going forward, so here’s my starting point. I want you and I want the children. I want you for the long term. If you don’t want me back yet, I’ll take the children anyway. I half consider them mine already.”

  “Bullshit.”

  Gareth snorted. “Better put your ass kicking boots on when this hybrid bear hunt is over because I’m now going for a package deal. I’m willing to fight you for all of it if necessary and I have far fewer scruples than Sheldon. I plan to use blackmail or extortion or whatever it takes. I’ll make you wear your fangs 24/7 until you beg me to ease us both.”

  Brandi tilted her head and gave Gareth her best chastising look. “Threats and lectures? Is that the equivalent of a werewolf marriage proposal? If it is, I have to tell you it sucks. The only thing missing from your he-man dramatic monologue is you trying to club me over the head to drag me to your cave.”

  Gareth chuckled at her counter. “No brute force needed. Logic is my weapon of choice this time. I have a house and a profitable ranch. Technically, we will have two incomes—even if those incomes come with long strings which might yank us back to Virginia any second. I think we’d do fine raising the kids in Wasilla. That way, if any of them turn into full blown werewolves one day, they will have had some experience living the lifestyle.”

  Brandi glared. “So this mating thing you’re hung up on is really about the children?”

  Gareth laughed. “Oh hell no. This is about us… and the progression of our relationship. Do you want another fangs down demonstration?”

  Brandi rolled her eyes. “Gareth, look at me. Why are you even going there in your head? Do I look anything like the wife or mother type?”

  “No,” Gareth agreed. “But you do look beautiful to me and I want you every second I breathe. The rest is stuff we’d have to figure out as we went along. I’m not the father type either, but I think I can learn to be one. Those three need special handling… as do you. I figure I can provide it as well as anyone else ever could. For damn sure, I’m going to do better with you than Mark Lafay-fucking-ette ever could.”

  Brandi rolled her eyes even as her mouth twitched. Maybe she wasn’t the jealous type, but somebody else sure was. “I wouldn’t know anything about Mark Lafayette. I never met the man. But since we’re talking details, can I get having sex five times a week put in the contract you’re drawing up in your head?”

  “Sure. You can have sex five times a day if you need it that often. Two of the five you’ll have to be on top though. I’m not as young as I used to be. And the kids will have to go to daycare someplace so they don’t get mentally scarred.”

  “Gareth, stop before I dissolve into fits of laughter over here. You need to get out of this mindset. I’d make a lousy mate. I’d make a worse mother. I don’t cook, clean, or do anything domestic. I can disassemble my gun in less than a minute, but somehow I don’t think that’s a positive when caring for children. They need real parents—as in people who already know how to be one—not a couple of ex-agents.”

  “Everyone I know with children has had to adjust to being a parent. It isn’t instantaneous. We’ll learn together. Love will show us the way.”

  “Love?” Brandi closed her eyes and shook her head. “I don’t even know what that is.”

  Gareth unclipped his seatbelt and leaned over. “Sure you do. Love is that feeling of confusion you had when you wanted to kill me and couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You thought it was some sort of character flaw, but it was just your internal self realizing you’d fallen in love with me.”

  Brandi did laugh then. “Right. Be serious,” she ordered.

  Gareth glanced at the pilot’s area, then back at Brandi. He growled softly at her challenge. “Want to move to the back of the plane and see how serious I am?”

  “No,” Brandi declared, blushing for the second time that day as her mind drew up images of them together. She put a hand to her hot cheek before glaring at him for distracting her. “No tempting me. We’re on a mission. Keep your damn distance.”

  Though she’d meant what she’d said, Brandi was still disappointed when Gareth started to back away. Then before she could blink, his aggressive and demanding mouth was on hers, cancelling out their entire argument when he pried open her lips. She went weak in the knees at the insistence of his tongue sliding against hers. She strained against her seatbelt to offer him better access. Damn it. Gareth’s ability to make her want him seemed to be growing.

  Just as she was rethinking his back of the plane offer, Gareth genuinely pulled away and did put the distance she’d asked for between them. Sighing at the loss of his mouth on hers, and at her way-too-feminine reaction, Brandi watched Gareth buckle himself back into his seat, swearing under his breath the whole time. He met her gaze levelly when he was fin
ally restrained.

  “You’re ripe and I’m growing desperate. This is bad damn timing,” Gareth complained.

  Confused, Brandi lifted her arm and smelled under it. “What do you mean I’m ripe? I took a shower this morning.”

  She didn’t know what to say when Gareth closed his eyes and started pounding his head on the back of his seat.

  Chapter 15

  When they landed in an open field about a mile from the nearest boat ramp, a man was there with a jeep waiting for them. Lars—still not back on his game—opted to stay behind and handle logistics. The man with the jeep promised to return to retrieve him later if he called.

  The jeep ride to their next form of transportation took less than ten minutes. When they arrived at the ramp, they climbed aboard a party barge which the man assured them was a lot more capable than it looked.