The Boomerang Kid

by Jay Quinn

  There had been many other nights when he’d been small when she’d sat up with him, just so he wouldn’t be alone, but ultimately, the periods of his sleeplessness came so frequently that she had to leave him on his own. There was the fact of Kai’s self-imposed isolation during these times as well. Even if she had sat up with him, he’d never been as communicative as he was tonight. She’d forgotten, since he’d been gone, how much it robbed her of her own sleep. Maura allowed herself a quiet sigh, then turned on her side and tried to mend the torn seams of her sleep once more.

  Chapter Nine

  AS SHE DROVE into the subdivision on her way home from work, Maura saw Kai walking Heidi. Knowing he’d be back soon with his dog, she changed quickly into her after work clothes and went into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. If she was lucky, she’d have a couple of hours before Matt came home, and she wanted to use the time to talk to Kai alone. Since he’d come home, she could never seem to find the right time to tell him she was pregnant. Once he’d slid so quickly into a dark period, the last thing she wanted to do was trip him into falling any further. But now that he seemed to be feeling better, she knew she’d better give him the news.

  She sat at her place at the kitchen table and listened to the coffee brew and stream into the glass carafe. Kai had left the radio on and it played a nice song from its spot on top of the refrigerator. She was grateful for the distraction. She didn’t want to entertain any fantasies of Kai’s reaction being negative. She couldn’t stand the thought he might be angry or hurt. She honestly didn’t know how he would take the news, but take it he must.

  She thought about the time she broke the news to him that his father was moving out of their little house in Avalon Beach. He was only three years old at the time, but he’d taken the news stoically. He seemed more concerned about whether Buddy, his dog, would be staying. She thought it was funny that even as a child his ideas of what would most bitterly affect him were so different than her own. Rhett’s moving out he seemed to take in stride. It would have been a major catastrophe if he’d lost Buddy, his confidant and living teddy bear.

  As she was lost in these memories, Kai came in the front door. She heard him release Heidi from her leash and then her claws scrabbled over the tile floor on her way into the kitchen for a treat. Kai walked into the kitchen right behind her.

  “Coffee smells good. You read my mind, Mom,” he said cheerfully.

  “It seemed like that time of day,” Maura answered obliquely. “Take a seat, Kai. I need to talk with you.”

  Kai gave her a concerned look before pulling out his chair. “What’s up, Mom? Why so serious all of a sudden?”

  Maura watched as he pulled a pack of Marlboro Lights and his lighter from the pocket on his left thigh of his cargo shorts. When he got one extracted, Maura reached across the table and took it from his fingers and put it between her lips.

  “Oh boy,” Kai groaned. “This is going to be intense if you have to have a cigarette to get it out.” He shook his head and pulled another cigarette from the pack for himself. He lit Maura’s first, then his own before crossing his arms on the table in front of him and looking at her with open-faced curiosity.

  Maura took a shallow hit off her cigarette and blew the smoke out immediately without inhaling it. She met his gaze and said, “Son, there’s something I’ve been putting off telling you. It’s kind of a big deal for Matt and me, and I want you to be happy for us.”

  Kai’s face lit up and he said “You’re getting married? That’s great, Mom. Matt seems like a really nice guy.”

  Maura smiled and thumped her cigarette against the side of the ashtray. She studied the round bit of grey ash for just a beat too long before she said, “Well, that’s only part of it. Matt and me getting married, I mean.”

  Kai raised his eyebrows and leveled a long look into her eyes, waiting for her to go on.

  “Kai, I’m pregnant. You’re going to have a baby brother,” she said evenly.

  Kai nodded and quickly moved his eyes from her face. He took a deep hit off his cigarette and hung his head for a moment in silence before he began to snicker. When he looked up at her once more, his eyes were genuinely lit up in a way she hadn’t seen them since he’d come home. “You crazy heifer,” he said as he shook his head. “You mean having me wasn’t bad enough? You had to sign up for round two? And at your age?”

  Maura nervously took a hit off her cigarette, inhaling this time. She tilted her head back haughtily and blew the smoke out through her nose before she said, “Well, for your information, I didn’t exactly plan this, but I’m not displeased. In fact, I’ve decided I’m pretty happy about it. Matt is happy. In fact, he’s ecstatic. I was hoping you’d be happy as well.”

  Kai laid his cigarette in the ashtray before he slid out of his seat and knelt by his mother’s side. He took her in his arms and hugged her tight saying, “Oh Mama, my crazy, wonderful Mama.”

  Maura found tears welling up in her eyes as he held her and rocked her gently from side to side. When she could trust her voice, she said, “You don’t mind?”

  Kai placed his hands on her shoulders and pushed her gently away saying, “Of course I don’t mind. I think it’s cool as shit. I’m serious.” With that he kissed her forehead and returned to his seat.

  Maura sobbed and put her face in her hands.

  “Ah, c’mon Mom. No crying, okay?” Kai said gently. “Everything’s good. You’re going to have a baby, how cool is that, huh?”

  Maura’s sob turned into a snort and she laughed as she wiped at her eyes and put out her cigarette. “I certainly didn’t expect you to react like that, Kai.”

  “Ah Mom, how did you think I was going to react?” Kai said with genuine consternation.

  “I don’t know… I thought you might feel, I thought it might make you sad or something,” Maura admitted.

  Kai took a hit off his cigarette and then blew the smoke straight up toward the ceiling in a show of nonchalance. He said, “Actually, it makes me kind of excited. In a way, it’s better than having a kid of my own. I get to play with yours. I’ve always wanted a kid, especially a little boy, but considering everything, I decided a long time ago that I’d never have kids.”

  “Really Kai? Why not?” Maura asked with genuine concern.

  Kai snorted and shook his head. “You know as well as I do.”

  “No. What are you talking about?” Maura pressed him.

  Kai sighed, put out his cigarette and took his time lighting another one before he said calmly, “I’d never bring a child into this world and pass along this head shit I’ve got. You know as well as I do it’s hereditary. The bipolar thing is genetic, and what’s worse is it gets worse with every generation.” He shook his head emphatically and said, “No. No kind of way. No babies for Kai. Forget about it.”

  Maura reached across the table and took his forearm in her hand. “I had no idea you felt that way, Kai. But you have to understand, so much of things like that are in God’s hands. It’s not for us to decide.”

  Kai gave her a kind, but firm look and said, “Bullshit. I will not make any crazy kids. This shit ends with me.” Then he laughed and said, “Maybe God does have a hand in it, after all. The only person I’ve ever loved enough to think about making a kid with is Robin and that’s not going to happen. Last I heard, spit doesn’t make babies.”

  Maura let go of his arm, vaguely repulsed by the image he’d proffered. She had nothing to say. In a way, it gave her pause. For a moment she was confronted with the thought that God was making her carry the baby Kai would never have. The thought of it made her feel somehow betrayed. She shook her head and looked out the window.

  Kai sat beside her smoking in silence for many long moments before he said, “When are you due?”

  Maura pulled herself back from her disturbed thoughts and answered absently “June.”

  Kai nodded his head and put out his cigarette. Leaning in his forearms, he looked at her and said, “Do you know if he’l
l be messed up like me? I mean what are the chances, right? I’d just hate to see you get stuck with another fucked up kid. I mean, I’m punishment enough, right? God wouldn’t put you through all the shit I have again would he?”

  Maura felt a wave of tenderness move through her as she once again placed her hand gently on Kai’s forearm and said, “I’d be a lucky woman if God gave me another little boy like you. I don’t think you’re fucked up. You’re my son and I love you. Don’t ever forget that, okay?”

  Kai nodded and patted his mother’s hand awkwardly. He said, “Thanks, Mom. Still, I’m going to light a candle in church and pray God gives you a kid who’s normal this time. A kid who can sleep and who isn’t in outer space half the time. I’m gonna do that, okay?”

  Maura nodded and looked out the window once more. She didn’t have any answers to the large questions like the ones Kai posed. She just knew whatever this child was going to be, he’d be just fine, and so would her grown son. For whatever he was, he was never predictable or boring, and somehow he always said the right thing.

  Chapter Ten

  BY FRIDAY MORNING, Kai’s depression had subsided enough for him to join his mother and Matt in the kitchen for breakfast, though the thought of food nauseated him. Ignoring Maura’s concerned look, he poured himself a cup of coffee and doctored it up so that it was creamy and sweet. Once Kai sat down, Matt closed the business section of the Sun-Sentinel and studied Kai’s slumped form and haggard face. “You look like death warmed over,” he said with some pity.

  Kai rubbed the three-day-old stubble on his chin and said, “I actually feel a little better this morning. I need to shower and shave, and maybe then I’ll look a little better.”

  Maura said gently, “Don’t you think you should eat a piece of dry toast, just to have something in your stomach?”

  Matt managed a broken grin for his mother and said, “I’ll have a piece of toast before I take my Strattera. If I don’t I’ll be sick.”

  “So the Strattera is the only one of your pills you take in the morning?” Matt asked as he folded his paper and sat it aside. Matt was new to this whole notion of bipolar disorder and so was prone to exhibit a keen interest in Kai’s medications and his illness as a whole.

  “Yes, it’s like an up. You don’t want to take it before bed. It’s better to have it kick in as you start the day,” Kai told him.

  “So the other ones you take at bedtime, right?” Matt asked again.

  Kai nodded and again attempted a smile. “The Risperdal and Zoloft make me sleepy, and that’s a good thing. The lorazepam I can take whenever I need it,” Kai explained.

  “It’s like being a diabetic, right? These medicines fix something in your brain that’s out of whack,” Matt responded.

  Kai nodded and took a sip of his coffee. He didn’t really feel like talking, but for the past two mornings when he’d been going through the worst of this bout of depression, he had completely ignored his mother and Matt as much as he could. Right now, he wanted nothing more than a cigarette and some quiet, but he knew Matt was trying to be nice and didn’t deserve to be treated rudely. “I’m sorry if I’ve been difficult over the past couple of days, you guys,” Kai said. “I’ve felt like hell.”

  Maura stood and rested her hand on Kai’s shoulder for a moment. “We could tell how sick you were, don’t worry about it. I’m going to pop a piece of bread in the toaster for you,” she said as she moved past him and on toward the counter.

  “How much of your being sick do you think is because of the pills?” Matt asked innocently.

  Kai tried hard not to laugh. To him it was funny for everyone to be talking as if he had a bad cold or the flu. He wasn’t sick physically, but a depression this bad was like being sick in that it had a physical component. He looked sick, he acted sick, so everyone just acted like it would pass on its own. He managed to look Matt in the eye and say, “Actually, none of it. Going on the meds doesn’t make me sick. I just had the bad luck of getting sick when I started back on them,” Kai told him. In itself, it wasn’t a lie.

  “How’re the interviews coming?” Matt asked. “Have you been able to set any more up, or have you been too sick?”

  As thin and raw-edged as Kai’s nerves were at the moment, he almost told Matt to go to hell, but instead he swallowed hard. He took a sip of his coffee and tried not to call attention to his trembling hands by placing them under the table before he responded, “I did make a few calls yesterday. I got an appointment with an architect and an interior designer for week after next. They were very nice over the phone.”

  “Who was the architect?” Matt asked.

  “Raul Valdez,” Matt answered calmly. “According to the AIA Directory online, he does residential work. High-end residential.”

  “I’ve never heard of him,” Matt replied. “He’s not a member of the home builder’s association that I know of.”

  “Oh! That reminds me of something,” Maura said as she stood waiting by the toaster. “Kai, you remember my boss, Bill Kellogg?”

  “Yeah, nice guy,” Kai responded automatically.

  “Well, I showed him a copy of your brochure and he’d like you to give him a call about some work. He wants to redo a bedroom in his house to turn it into a library. I told him you were under the weather, but he said if you felt up to it, maybe you could run by his place on Sunday and listen to his ideas, maybe give him a quote.”

  “That sounds great,” Matt said heartily. “Even if it’s a small job, it’ll get you started.”

  “Sounds good,” Kai said with feigned enthusiasm as the toaster popped up his piece of bread. He watched as his mother picked up the hot toast gingerly and laid it on a paper napkin that she set in front of him. “Thanks,” he told her, giving her another attempt at a smile.

  “He’s in all day today if you want to give him a call. Just dial the main office number and Sheila will put you through,” Maura told him.

  “I’ll do that later this morning,” Kai promised as he looked at his toast. The sight and smell of it made him vaguely nauseated, but he knew his mother was watching him, so he lifted it and took a bite. Surprisingly, it tasted rather good and he found himself suddenly ravenous.

  As Kai wolfed down his toast, Matt stood and carefully slid his chair back under the table. He quickly embraced Maura and gave her a peck on her cheek. “I got to dash. I’m going to be late,” he said happily.

  “Have a great day,” Kai managed to say around a mouthful of dry toast.

  “Yes, have a great day and drive safely okay?” Maura said as she escorted Matt out of the kitchen.

  There was a pause, which his own experience informed him was filled by another embrace and kiss out of his sight before he heard Matt call out, “Feel better, Kai!” Kai shook his head and swallowed the dry toast. “Thanks!” he called back. Try as he might, Kai couldn’t find it in himself to dislike the man his mother had decided to fall in love with. At first, he’d been prepared to tolerate the man politely, but he found himself liking him, despite his obvious “master of the house and universe” demeanor. Kai knew that successful men like Matt were often assholes. He was profoundly glad Matt wasn’t. Besides the fact that he obviously adored Kai’s mother, he was more than polite to Kai. He was honestly trying to make a friend of him and his dog. Kai knew his sometimes awkward questions were just his way of trying to get to know him. Matt wasn’t the kind of guy who had any unexpressed thoughts.

  It had been a little over a week since they’d met, and in that time they had established an easy relationship, but Kai was well aware that Matt was watching him to see if he was really going to get off his ass and get to work. That did put up a wall that was hard to negotiate. Kai knew that Matt was the kind of man who judged others by their actions, their prowess and accomplishments. Kai’s laid back approach was totally alien to Matt, but then Matt never had to live in Kai’s head.

  He heard the front door close and his mother chase Heidi out of the Womb chair in the great room
before she reappeared with Heidi trotting along beside her into the kitchen. Maura glanced at him before she reached into the old Blue Willow bowl that held Heidi’s dog cookies. She held the treat out to the dog, but wouldn’t give it to her until she sat. In a short battle of wills communicated only by his mother’s sternly pointed finger and his dog’s intent stare at her treat, Heidi finally sat and Maura not only gave her the cookie but bent down and kissed the top of the dog’s head. “How are you doing, baby?” She asked Kai as she sat at her place at the table.

  “Imagine if you’re driving a stick shift, going seventy miles an hour, and you throw the gear into reverse without pushing down the clutch,” Kai responded bleakly. “The bottom end of the depression cycle was pretty bad this time.”

  “Oh boy,” Maura said sympathetically.

  “It’s okay, Mom. I’ll be fine, don’t worry” Kai said as he lit a cigarette.

  Maura reached for his pack of cigarettes as well and didn’t say anything until she’d extracted one and got it lit. “You’re going to kill me one of these days, Kai. I swear, if you don’t stop pulling shit like this and not telling me about it, you’re going to break my heart.”

  “Oh Mom, don’t be so melodramatic. It’s not that big of a deal. I’ll survive,” Kai said consolingly.

  “But I don’t know whether to be happy you’re coming out of it or mad because I can’t do anything to help you. You should see yourself. You look like hell,” Maura told him.

  “Believe me,” Kai said firmly, “it’ll all be okay. I’ll shave and get cleaned up and I’ll look a thousand percent better. I’m feeling better, I really am.”