Out of Play

by Jolene Perry

  I think about the nights on the road. The girls, the parties, the drugs. The pressure, the fights. And then I think how my heart feels alive when I’m sitting behind my drums, keeping rhythm for the guys. How it feels when we nail a new song. “I can still love to play. I can still do it, but…I don’t know. It’s different now. There are other ways to keep music in my life.”

  Blake nods. “Yeah… I know. You ever want to come back, we’re cool. You got that?” He gives me a hug, slapping me on the back. The rest of the guys tell me good luck, shake my hand. All surface stuff. There are a lot of people like that in the world, and I’m done surrounding myself with them.

  When it’s only me and Don in the office, he speaks for the first time. “You’re under contract.”

  “I know.”

  He huffs. “We’ll get it worked out. Have to take care of yourself and all that shit.” He doesn’t look any more sincere than he sounds, but I know he is.

  I nod and walk away. Almost to the door, I turn to him. “Thanks, Don. For having the balls to send me away. I never would have gone if you didn’t make me.”

  For the first time ever, I get a smile out of him. “You have problems with your dad, still come to me, okay? I’ll help you work it out.”

  His words settle into me, build me up. There are more people here for me than I used to think. “If I can do anything for you, too, you know I’m here.”

  “I know and…you did good, kid. You did good.”

  The kid doesn’t even bother me this time.

  Gary texts me as I’m about to leave the building.

  PAPS ARE OUTSIDE.

  Fucking paparazzi. They’re always sniffing around for something.

  Without much choice, I push through the door.

  “What are you doing here, Bishop?”

  “The whole band was here?”

  “How do you think you’ll handle your addiction while on the road?”

  “Are you still in Burn?”

  A few camera flashes go off. Doing my best to ignore them, I jog to Gary’s SUV and get in. “Asshole.”

  He chuckles and pulls away from the curb. “Hello to you, too.”

  “You know I wasn’t talking to you.” I watch the paparazzi while we drive away. “Thanks for the ride. I can’t believe you’re on time. Troy must not have been home.”

  “Don’t be a hater, Ripe. I’m not always with him.”

  I’m quiet because we both know he’s full of it.

  “Okay, fine. So I’m always with him—when he’s not with you that is. He’s going to be bummed to lose his workout buddy.”

  “Me too. He’s cool.” We even know how to talk to each other now. When I need to talk to someone who’s been where I am, Troy is there.

  “He had to go out of town. I won’t have you to keep me busy, either.”

  I can’t help it, I laugh. I knew something had to be up. But I also remember that as much as Gary never wants to be away from Troy, he left him for months for me. Would have stayed longer. Would probably go back if I asked him, too. He’s probably the best friend I have. I’m okay with that. “Bad timing, huh?”

  Gary shakes his head. “Absolutely not. This is your life, Ripe, and I’m stoked for you.” He pauses for a second. “Have you talked to her?”

  I know exactly who “her” is. I also knew this was coming. “Same as it has been. We email back and forth a little. It took her a while to answer my first one, but I didn’t give up.”

  Gary chuckles. “Push your way back into her life? You’ve always been such a cocky jerk.” There’s teasing in his voice.

  “I’m cocky for good reason. But no…not pushing my way anywhere. I like talking to her. Maybe one day, I can really apologize to her.”

  He tries to weave through traffic on the 405 Freeway. “Look at you. You’re all sentimental now.”

  “I can still kick your ass, though. Keep talking shit, and I will.”

  “So violent.” He teases. “She still doesn’t know, though, right?”

  Traffic piles up around us. “Nope.” Let’s hope that doesn’t backfire. “You shouldn’t have gone this way. I hate this freeway.” Not like all freeways around here aren’t bad, though.

  “You wanna drive?”

  “Sure.”

  “Shut up.” He gives the line of cars ahead of us the evil eye. “Ugh! Traffic sucks.”

  We’re at a dead stop. It’s always like this. And it’s hot, too. I put my feet on the dashboard. “Wake me up when we get there.”

  I fucking hate Los Angeles.

  Chapter Twenty-eight

  PENNY

  I’m glad I decided not to tell Mom I’m home from college early. Halloween weekend and freaking Chomps is getting married. Crazy. It took them more than the two months I predicted, but it’s still weird. Becca gives me one last wave as I step out of her car, then peels out. Mitch just got home, and I know that’s her next stop.

  A pang hits my chest when I step in as I see Gramps’s trailer in the corner, and some random old rock music is playing instead of his country, but it’s better than it was. I’m okay. Or will be.

  I hit the top of the stairs, and Ben freezes over the stove. “Penny!”

  “Hey.” I glance around. No Mom. Weird. Oh, wait. She said he moved in. Still weird, just not bad weird. “Where’s Mom?”

  “You’re a day early.” He keeps smiling. I don’t think he’s faking.

  “Yeah.” I shrug. “I wanted home.”

  “Your mom went to get something from one of the cabins. Should be back any minute. I was just finishing dinner.” He shakes his head. “You’re more grown up all the time.”

  I glance down at my skirt, boots, and tight sweater. “Becca.” I shrug.

  He chuckles. “Well. I was going to set up a good time, but it looks like it’s just been given to me.” He leans back and glances out the window.

  “Good time for what?” I’m a little on edge, because he’s rubbing his palms on his legs. Definitely suddenly nervous.

  “I know you weren’t thrilled about your mom and I…” His smile is gone, and some bizarre expression has taken over. He’s totally freaked out.

  I laugh at how nervous he seems to be. “I was pissed that she didn’t tell me what was going on. I didn’t object to you.”

  He pulls in a big breath. “Okay. I’m just going to ask.” But the pause is long enough for me wonder if he ever will ask. “I want to marry your mom.”

  A bubble of happiness for them swells in my chest, but I try not to show it. He should sweat at least a little. “How does this involve me?”

  “You’re her family. I thought you were the one I should ask.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I don’t even know if she’ll say yes—”

  I can’t hold in my smile any more. “She’ll say yes.”

  “And you?”

  “Scared?” I smirk and narrow my eyes.

  His shoulders relax a little as something like a smile starts to play on the edges of his mouth. “You’re a force, Penny.”

  “I learned from the best—you sure you want to tangle yourself with her?”

  “Very sure.” There’s nothing but sincerity in his voice. It’ll take me a while to get used to the idea, but it’s okay.

  “Well, I’m going to go check on my ‘Vette and maybe take Bitty into town to catch up with friends. Tell Mom I’ll be back later, and good luck.” I wink.

  As I jog down the stairs, an engine in the garage roars to life, and my heart leaps into my throat.

  Who has their hands on my car?

  I sprint down the stairs and throw open the door.

  Bishop.

  Riley.

  With his hands on my car. Well, not on her now because he’s grinning from ear to ear in the driver’s seat, and my mom is on the other side of the car, watching him and looking just as happy.

  I’m so stunned I’m frozen in the doorway.

  Bishop smiles even wider as his hands run over the steering wheel
.

  I’m choking on words, and my heart’s hammering because he’s here. And Mom hasn’t killed him.

  I have no idea where we stand after three months of giving each other crap through email, and now…

  He glances to the side and our eyes catch. Mom gives me a quick half squeeze before stepping around me and into the house. I can’t register any of it. Just Bishop.

  God, he’s the same. But…better. There’s shock on his features that is also probably on mine. And then it’s like he finally snaps into the present. He reaches over slowly and turns the key, letting my Corvette shudder ‘til she stops.

  I’ve forgotten how to move or breathe or…

  “What are you—”

  “I can explain—” We say at the same time as he steps out of the car with his hands up in surrender.

  I want to throw my arms around him and bury my face in his smell. Feel his hands holding me. Glancing away, I see a box of pizza on the counter. It’s easier to look there than at him right now. “So…you got Ditch to deliver and Mom not to kill you?” It’s a stupid distraction.

  “What can I say? I’m good.”

  At that, I turn to him and shake my head.

  “I wanted to surprise you…” He looks back at the Corvette and then toward me. “Surprise.” He gives me his cocky half-smile that makes my insides melt. And he looks good. Healthy in a way he didn’t look before, only I hadn’t noticed then.

  “I’m just…” And after only talking through email, I want to feel him again. I can’t handle weird or awkward with him. “I’ve missed you so much.”

  “You have no idea.” He gives me a real smile, and it’s like I’m seeing all the best parts of him at once. His eyes. The way he really takes me in when he looks at me…

  He glances lower and tenses up a little. He gets this sort of faraway look.

  I snap my fingers a few times as I let out a nervous little laugh. “Are you seriously checking me out?”

  “You look… There is no way you wore that thinking no one was going to check you out.”

  We take a few steps closer, and I really look at him again. His hair is back to rocker band blond, and he’s in a snug grease-stained T-shirt with even a little more muscle under it than before. And he still has his lip ring. I love that lip ring. He looks every inch of the rock star he is. Or was. Or…

  “What are you doing here?”

  “Wanted to show Mom Alaska. Wanted to see you. I’ve been working on your car and helping Pat at the music store. I had to figure out who I am when I’m not trying to be someone else. Just taking it a day at a time. I have the time and money, you know, so…”

  Uncertainty creeps in as him being here feels more real. “Why didn’t you come see me? Tell me you were here? I’m, like, four hours up the highway.”

  He fingers his lip ring and blinks a few times. “I didn’t want to come too early. Didn’t want you to turn me away. The second I got your first email, I was itching to throw my arms around you, but I felt like… I felt like I wanted to earn you—to make sure I was okay. Like I told you in the emails, I’m doing my meetings, working on cars, working out, and it’s great, but I wanted to fix her for you, too.” He nods at the car. Then he smirks. “Plus, if I waited long enough, I thought you might miss me enough to forgive me.”

  Warmth spreads through my chest because he’s completely right. He knows me well. “You look happy,” I say as he reaches forward to slide his fingers through mine. I stare at where they come together for a moment before daring to see what’s in his eyes.

  “I am happy.” His lips press together. “So…it’s okay that I’m here?”

  I swallow hard as nerves settle in again. “Yes.”

  “And that I’ve had my hands on your car?” His voice is quiet. More quiet than I’ve ever heard him. Every breath from him, every word, every movement is something that I feel, something I want to be a part of. How did I stay away from him for so long?

  “Yes. All okay.” And feeling so much I step closer, like all this newness is something we can share. He’s holding both my hands in his two, and I realize I might actually get him. Emotion pours through me as I stare at his rough hands holding mine.

  This moment is more intense than anything we’ve shared so far. Like everything we’ve gone through together and apart is starting to lead to something really amazing. Something I’m finally ready for. Maybe it’s good that we had so much time apart. Maybe I’m ready to appreciate all the good things that come from his experiences. Gramps was right. People who have been a lot of places make decisions about what they want, and those decisions really mean something. Bishop choosing to be here with me means something.

  He lets go of my hands, and his thumbs wipe my tears away. “God, I wanted to be there, Penny. I did. You have no idea how much. It killed me that I left you…still kills me. But even when everything was good with us, perfect, I was still barely hanging on. I had to get help…had to get better so I would be what you deserve. What both of us deserve. I know how I did it sucks, but in the end, and for the long term, it was the right thing to do.”

  I step into his arms and let Bishop hold me. “I don’t hate that I love you anymore.”

  He squeezes me tighter. “Only you would admit to loving someone that way.” He’s quiet for a moment, and then I feel his hand slide through my hair. “I missed this…your hair…the way you smell…the way you feel. I’m so fucking in love with you, Penny Jones.”

  I can’t lift my head from his shoulder, can’t stand the idea of his arms not being around me. I pull on him even tighter.

  “I’m going to regret not having recorded this conversation,” he says. “You totally said you loved me first.”

  “Guess that means I win.” I lean back to see him. His eyes are full of love and friendship and everything.

  He laughs. “I’m pretty sure I’m the winner.”

  Whatever. We can argue that one later. I’m determined to best him in some way.

  “So, Ben’s going to propose to Mom, I’m guessing tonight. I say that since my car’s running, we should test it out. Maybe go check out your place.” I’m not scared. I’m not embarrassed. It’s him. Us. Everything. I’ve never wanted something the way I want him. Ever. It’s scary, but being next to him makes me feel like not even skating can, and I can’t wait to see what happens when we’re even closer.

  Bishop grins. “I was fully prepared to get my ass kicked for fixing your car, and you’re asking me out?”

  I lean in and whisper, “I’m here for a long weekend, and I really want some firsts with you.” I hold him tighter, afraid to see his face but afraid to look away, afraid for him to tell me no. “And I sort of need a date to Chomps’s wedding.”

  He chuckles. “You know, I was going to try to be all nice and tell you I wanted to start over, and if all you could do was be friends that I’d be okay with it.”

  “I don’t work like that.” I shake my head and let my smile take over. This is actually going to work. I don’t doubt him. It’s not just in his eyes, it’s in everything—the way he looks at me, the way he touches me, the way he can tell me he loves me one minute and tease me the next.

  “I know.”

  I blink, still amazed that he’s holding me, but it’s more easy and perfect than I thought possible. “I know what I want.”

  His nose touches my cheek, and he closes his eyes. “I think you always know what you want, Penny Jones.”

  “And I want you.” I slide my lips against his, and his reaction is immediate. I don’t melt into his kiss—I dissolve into it. Into him. And as screwed up as everything got, it’s pretty perfect right now. And there’s no way in hell I’m going to let that change.

  Acknowledgments

  NYRAE WOULD LIKE TO THANK:

  My husband and my girls. You guys put up with so much from me when I’m in the zone. I appreciate it, and I love you for all the support. To Jolene Perry for writing with me. Thanks for creating Bishop’s perfect mat
ch and for being a great friend. Wendy Higgins because you are a rock star of a bestie and a great beta reader. Kelley York, Cassie Mae, Morgan Shamy and any other early readers. I couldn’t do this without you. I would also like to thank everyone who reads my books. Your trust in me means the world to me. To Heather Howland for all your knowledge and for seeing something in Bishop and Penny’s story. Thanks for giving us a chance. And to all the folks at Entangled. Thank you for believing in this story.

  JOLENE WOULD LIKE TO THANK:

  My family, whose endless patience enables me to do what I love. Definitely to Nyrae for writing with me. She writes the best boys—I fall in love with them all. I can’t imagine not having her as a friend. Thank you to all the people who gave us feedback on this book: Lauren Hammond (the agent who sold this book), Wendy Higgins, Kelley York, Cassie Mae, Morgan Shamy, and my husband, who listened to Out of Play not once, but twice, as we wrote and edited.

  I’m grateful that I grew up in Alaska and have known so many girls who are like my Penny Jones. I’m also so thankful to Heather Howland for her enthusiasm and insights on Bishop and Penny’s story. Also to Entangled for their hard work in getting Out of Play into the world.

  There is no way I could thank the people who read my books enough. Ever. You. Are. Awesome.

  If you loved OUT OF PLAY, check out

  SIDELINED

  by Kendra C. Highley

  After being pushed to excel her entire life, high school basketball star Genna Pierce is finally where she wants to be. University scouts are taking notice, her team is on its way to the state tourney, and Jake Butler, the hot boy she’s daydreamed about since ninth grade, is showing some definite interest. When he asks her out and their relationship takes off, Genna believes things can’t get better.

  Then, it’s over.

  A freak accident ends her career before it’s even begun. Her parents are fighting more than ever, her friends don’t understand what she’s going through, and she’s not sure who she is without basketball. And while he tries to be there for her, Genna doesn’t understand how Jake could ever want the broken version of the girl he fell for.