The Kitchen Maid

by Val Wood

  Serena gazed at her sister open-mouthed. ‘So, does that mean you’re not a St John Laslett?’ she asked. ‘Do you have another name?’

  ‘No,’ her mother said firmly. ‘Your father adopted Christina, so she has ’same name.’ Jenny could almost feel Serena’s busy mind working and knew there would be more questions, so she forestalled her. ‘So, Serena, you can write and tell Johnny if you wish, and I’ll tell Thomas and William, and then it’s done with. It was never a big secret,’ she said calmly. ‘It never seemed anything to make a fuss about.’

  But nevertheless she was relieved that it had been told, and in the following two weeks, in the scramble to prepare Serena for her journey abroad, there was no time for chatter or awkward questions. The children had never asked about her own background. She thought they probably assumed that she had been at Laslett Hall for ever, just as they had been, for of course the twins and Thomas couldn’t remember living anywhere else, and William had been born here.

  Serena was to be accompanied by her grandfather and Arabella on the journey to London. They were driving by carriage to York, where they would catch the railway train to London. Surprisingly, this would be the first time that John Laslett had ever travelled by train, and he would only agree to it if he could travel to the capital directly rather than change trains at various other stations.

  Serena was to be met in London by a representative from the Swiss school, along with other young ladies who would travel with them. Jenny had declined the journey. ‘I shall be too upset, Serena,’ she said to her. ‘Bad enough to see you off from here, without watching you disappear with strangers.’

  ‘I expect I shall have to look after Grandpa anyway.’ Serena smiled. ‘I think he’s quite nervous about the train journey. I can’t understand him,’ she said. ‘It’s just the only way to travel.’

  ‘It’s strange,’ her mother agreed. ‘He’s agreeable to using up-to-date machinery on the farms, yet he’s always refused to travel by railway. But he’s getting older, Serena, we must remember that. He thinks ’old ways are best.’

  He needs help on the estate, too, she pondered. It’s going to be years before Thomas and William can take over from him. He needs somebody he can trust to manage it until the boys are ready, so that he can take life easier. I’ll talk to him about it when he returns from London.

  After seeing Serena off with her escort, Arabella and her father were going to stay in London for a few days with his sister, which was the real reason why Jenny had decided not to go with them. She knew they would have plenty to discuss, as they hadn’t seen each other for many years, and once more she was reluctant to speak of her own background if anyone should enquire.

  She bade a tearful farewell to Serena. It was early, only just past seven o’clock, but John Laslett had been jittery and wanted to be off in good time to get to York. ‘Damned trains!’ he’d snorted. ‘You’ve got to be there by a certain time or you miss them! They won’t wait for you, you know. Not like a carriage that’s standing by the door until you’re ready! Where’s my hat?’ he demanded. ‘And my stick! Come on. Come on. Say goodbye to your mother and let’s be off!’

  So the goodbyes were hurried and Jenny, Christina, Thomas and William, and Dolly too, stood on the steps waving until the carriage turned out of the long drive and onto the road. Thomas and William looked sideways at each other and nonchalantly started to move away down the steps.

  ‘And where are you two off to?’ Dolly asked. Over the years and almost without arrangement, Dolly had slid into the role of housekeeper and nanny to the growing children. Her existence seemed to be wholly for them, for there had never been any sign of her wanting to live another life of her own. ‘Breakfast and then upstairs to your lessons! Mr Pearson will be here soon.’

  ‘Oh, but Dolly! He won’t be here yet. He never gets here before nine!’ William whined. ‘I have to go and look at my pigs.’ His grandfather had agreed that he could have two sows in litter and he spent all his spare time cosseting them.

  ‘And I’ve jobs to do before I start on my books,’ Thomas complained. ‘Ma!’ he pleaded. ‘Can’t we go? Just for half an hour. Then we promise we’ll go up.’

  Jenny nodded at Dolly. ‘Half an hour, then, Dolly.’ She didn’t like to usurp Dolly’s authority. The former nursemaid was so very good, yet firm with them. ‘But no longer than that.’

  Christina put her arm through her mother’s. ‘Let’s take a walk in the garden,’ she said. ‘It’s such a beautiful morning.’

  Jenny agreed that it was. Though there were clouds chasing across the sky, they were lit from behind by the sun’s morning brightness, which reflected on the autumn tints of the leaves of elm and oak, still clinging determinedly on to the trees. The summer had been lovely. The flora on the chalk pastureland had flourished, and the air had been filled with birdsong. The weather had been mostly hot with very little rain and although the farmers complained that their crops needed more water, the harvest had been good and the sheep and cattle thrived.

  Now they were rewarded by a richness of colour across the land, the pale glow of the harvested fields, the berries on the hawthorn hedges turning to scarlet, the green casing of the horse chestnut spilling out its burnished deep brown nut onto a crisp russet carpet. The fruit trees were heavy with rosy apples and juicy pears, and there was a pungent smoky aroma of bonfires as the workers on the land prepared for the coming winter.

  ‘I’m missing Serena already,’ Christina moaned. ‘And she’s not been gone half an hour. It will be so strange without her. I’ve only just got used to Johnny not being here.’

  ‘I know,’ Jenny said quietly. ‘It feels odd that she’s not here, that neither of them are. I always felt that while Serena was at home, then Johnny would eventually come back. Now I don’t know if either of them will. They’ll experience so much more whilst they are away. Life here will seem very dull to them.’

  ‘Oh, don’t say that, Mama! Surely they’ll come back?’ Christina clung to her mother’s arm. ‘Won’t we be a family again?’

  ‘We’ll always be that,’ her mother assured her. ‘But young people grow up and leave home. You’ll do that too, Christina. One day you’ll perhaps meet someone and want a home of your own.’

  ‘Is that what you wanted, Mama?’

  Wanted? Jenny thought. Don’t I want that still? For this isn’t my true home. It’s the place where I live with my children. It’s my children’s home, but I’m here because of them. If Stephen had lived, would I feel the same way? Would we have made this our home together?

  ‘It was different for me, Christina,’ she answered. ‘My wants were not ’same when I was young like you. I had no expectations; I handled life as it came.’

  ‘I don’t understand,’ Christina said, puzzled.

  ‘No,’ Jenny murmured. ‘I don’t suppose you do.’

  When John Laslett and Arabella returned home a week later, Arabella burst through the door like a girl, filled with excitement at what she had seen and done, and although her father was tired after the long journey, he admitted that the train ride had been exhilarating, if exhausting. ‘It’s very noisy and dirty, of course, as I always said it would be,’ he said, justifying his previous opinion. ‘But my word, the people who travel! Why, every man and his wife were travelling by train, all bustling about. They even had a special van for horses! But, yes, it was an experience, and, I admit, much quicker than by road. Yes,’ he mused. ‘The last time I went to London in the carriage, one of the wheels cracked and it took us a day to get it fixed. That wouldn’t happen on the railways, I don’t suppose. But there, I’ve done it now. No need to do it again.’

  ‘And Serena?’ Jenny asked, anxious to know. ‘Tell me if she was all right. Not upset at going away?’

  ‘Come here, my dear, and sit by me.’ He sat down in his usual chair in the hall, and Arabella, with a quick smile and a nod of agreement, turned to go upstairs to change out of her travelling clothes.

  ‘Serena is fi
ne. She’ll do well. We couldn’t have managed the journey without her. Bella has no head for timetables, and getting porters and suchlike. I want to tell you something.’ He reached for her hand. ‘We’ve seen Johnny! Yes.’ He patted her fingers as she drew in a gasping breath. ‘Serena had told him where we were meeting her escort, and we arrived early as she requested, and Johnny was there. Came to see her off. I was proud of him.’ He dropped his voice, which had become husky. ‘Very proud. He looked tremendous. Tall and straight. Good-mannered. He’ll do well as an officer. I told him that I would write to his commanding officer when the time was right and give him a personal recommendation.’

  ‘Oh, I wish I’d been there,’ Jenny wept. ‘I should have gone. I would have so liked to see him. Did he get my letter?’

  ‘He did, and he was sorry that you weren’t there. But he said he’ll write to you soon. You don’t have to worry about him, Jenny,’ he soothed her. ‘Nor Serena either. They’re not children any more. They’re out in the world on their own feet.’

  Just as I was. Jenny wiped away a tear. Just as I was.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

  ‘How do, Billy!’

  ‘Middlin’, Harry!’ Billy Brown said. He stood outside his shop window with his arms crossed over his white apron. ‘How’s thissen?’

  ‘Champion!’

  ‘Family all right? Lad coming along?’

  ‘Aye. Pretty fair.’ Harry paused. ‘He’s a good lad wi’ hosses, I’ll say that for him.’

  Henry Johnson, or Harry as he was always known, had married a widow just a little older than himself. She had brought with her to their marriage two children and a considerable amount of money left to her by her late husband. The new Mrs Johnson had an eye for business and Harry was persuaded to set up on his own as a farrier, rather than work for someone else. During the course of his work he had come across several horses which were for sale at a good price, and being a fine judge of horseflesh he had bought them, shoed them, and brought them up to standard at the stables behind his workshop. His stepson, a lad of fourteen, gave them regular exercise on the Westwood and when they were ready, Harry sold them on.

  ‘He’s had a good master,’ Billy said. ‘You’ve allus had a way wi’ hosses.’

  Harry nodded. ‘I’ve just been to Akrill’s. I’ve got a hunter ready to move on. Thought they might know of somebody. Business all right?’ He looked through the window and saw Billy’s mother. ‘Your ma’s still here, I see.’

  ‘Aye,’ Billy said gloomily. ‘She won’t trust anybody else in ’shop.’ Then he laughed. ‘In this one, anyway. I can do as I like in ’others!’

  Harry touched his cap to Mrs Brown as he saw her looking towards him, then he glanced down Toll Gavel towards Butcher Row. A woman was walking briskly and determinedly towards them. She was wearing a blue bonnet with a dark blue shawl over her woollen dress and carried a shopping basket over her arm. ‘Here’s Annie,’ he said. ‘I’d best be off. Don’t want you getting into trouble for jawing when you should be earning brass.’

  Billy frowned. ‘I’ll do as I like,’ he said. ‘I’m me own master.’

  ‘Aye,’ Harry said. ‘Course you are. I’ll be off anyway. I’m meeting ’Driffield train in. I’ve some parcels to collect.’

  Billy watched him depart, then, giving a deep sigh, he glanced in some trepidation at his mother, raised his eyebrows in concern and waited for Annie.

  ‘Christina asked me the other day if I would ever consider marrying again.’ Jenny broke off to turn the lamp up higher, the better to see her writing. ‘She remarked that I was young enough to take another husband, which I am, being just under thirty-five years of age. I told her no, but didn’t tell her that I had already turned down two suitors. Mr Horsforth was one: the gentleman I met at Pearl’s house, when a young Christina announced to everyone that I was expecting a child. I can hardly believe that it was over eleven years ago.

  ‘Mr Horsforth called unexpectedly about six months later. He said that as he was in the district he felt he couldn’t pass by without paying his respects to Miss Laslett and myself. Arabella, of course, was thrown into a complete tizzy of confusion, and said afterwards how she wished she had put on her better dress that morning, and worn her new lace cap instead of her old one. It just goes to show, Jenny, she said, one must always be prepared for every eventuality. I assured her that I was sure that Mr Horsforth wouldn’t be concerned over such insignificant matters, that he had called out of courtesy to see us and not the latest fashion; for if he had, I had added, he would have been very disappointed. I was wearing my most comfortable day dress and nothing at all on my head, and my hair coiled around my ears.

  ‘That our attire didn’t put him off was evident, for he called again, five or six months after that, and I remember the occasion very well. William was just starting to walk and he tottered towards Mr Horsforth with his chubby arms outstretched. Mr Horsforth obligingly put out his hands to catch him, whereupon William dribbled down the gentleman’s coat sleeve. Arabella said later that she had been mortified, but I only recall that Mr Horsforth laughed.

  ‘He called several times after that, and one day, when Arabella was out visiting, I received him alone. He said, without any preamble, on discovering that Arabella was not at home, that he must seize the opportunity to tell me of his regard. I stopped him immediately in his tracks, telling him that I could not consider changing my role as a mother to that of a wife.

  ‘He couldn’t possibly have known of my circumstances and I wouldn’t have dreamt of disclosing them to him or any other. I am here only because of my children. When they are all grown up and no longer need me, then I will reconsider my life. That I’m useful to my father-in-law I know, for I’m an efficient housekeeper and run the house and servants admirably. I know this because he has told me so. And I am very obliged to him, for I have nothing material of my own.

  ‘My other suitor was, or indeed still is, Stephen’s good friend and mine, Dr George Hill. He has been steadfast in his friendship and regard and I have long known that he cares for me. But I could not love him as a husband. He has been a bachelor for far too long and is too set in his ways for marriage or to share his life with anyone else. But he calls regularly to ask about my welfare and I can’t help but think that Stephen, during his last hours, must have asked him to be protective of me, to guard me against his father. To be, in effect, my guardian angel. And this amiable trustworthy doctor has been just that, even though he must realize that Stephen’s father, with whom he has an uneasy, fraught relationship, does hold me in respect.’

  ‘Shall we have a day out in Beverley tomorrow, Mama?’ Christina asked. ‘We did say we would go, and the good weather is holding.’

  ‘Your grandfather suggested we should go,’ Jenny said. ‘I didn’t say so.’

  ‘But why not?’ Christina asked. ‘You haven’t been in years and I have never been. Do let’s. We always go to Driffield for our shopping, and’, she said eagerly, ‘we could go by train from Driffield to Beverley. I have a timetable. It only takes forty minutes.’

  ‘Well, perhaps.’ Jenny was reluctant to agree. ‘But only for the afternoon, not all day. And besides,’ she added, ‘you have been! Your papa and I took you when you were a baby. I had to register your birth.’

  ‘Well!’ Christina exclaimed. ‘I can hardly be expected to remember that, can I? Oh, it will be so nice.’ She laughed. ‘And just the two of us, not the boys! We can catch the one o’clock train, if you don’t want to go in the morning, and come back on the four thirty-one.’ She consulted the timetable. ‘Or if we went earlier, at say nine twenty, we could have a look round the churches and have coffee and cake, and – isn’t there anyone you would like to visit? Any of your old friends?’

  ‘There won’t be anyone there who remembers me.’ Jenny wavered nervously, wishing she hadn’t agreed. ‘It’s too long ago.’ I hope there isn’t anyone who remembers me, she thought. Well, only Billy. He’ll still be there, I expect. I�
�d stop and say hello, of course, if I should see him. But I wouldn’t embarrass him by reminding him of our friendship. He’ll be married with a family now, I expect. He won’t want to dwell on the past, any more than I do. And then there’s Harry, but he was always so shy, I don’t suppose he would speak even if he recognized me.

  ‘I did have two friends,’ she told Christina. ‘One was a butcher; he used to call on me. The other was an apprentice farrier. He only ever talked about horses. He had no other interests.’

  ‘Like me, then?’ Christina said. ‘You know I asked Grandpappy if William could have another horse, and he said we’ll see! He always says that, and William has grown and grown since that first time I asked him. But’, she frowned, ‘they’re male. Didn’t you have any female friends? Surely you did?’

  Jenny thought of the other servants at the Ingram house. Polly, Mary, Tilly and Lillian. They were not friends, they only worked together and occasionally gossiped. Then there was Mrs Judson, who always seemed severe, but who was actually kind to her when she most needed kindness, and Mrs Feather, the cook. But no, they were not friends.

  She ran her tongue over dry lips. ‘They’ll all have left Beverley, I expect,’ she suggested. ‘They won’t be there now. They’ll have married and moved away.’

  She was persuaded to take the early train and John Laslett drove them to Driffield, as he needed to buy some new boots. ‘Here,’ he said to Christina as they reached the railway station, and drew out his pocket book, taking out a sovereign. ‘Treat yourself, and your mother too. Buy her something nice and have a spot of dinner. She doesn’t often have a day out.’ He nodded to Jenny, his eyes scrutinizing her. ‘Do you good to go out, ’stead of looking after all of us.’

  She gave him a nervous smile, sure that anxiety was showing in her face. ‘Thank you. Yes, I’m sure we’ll enjoy it.’

  So many memories came flooding back when they arrived at Beverley railway station. Of the time when Christy had concealed himself in the shadows, waiting for her after she returned from visiting her sick father. Then he’d walked her back to New Walk, where they’d hidden beneath the trees and shared their first kiss. And of when Billy had seen her off on the train to Hull after the hearing, and warned her to be careful not to fall out of the carriage. Dear Billy, she thought with a lump in her throat. What a good friend he was. So patient and caring.