Highland Light

by Cherime MacFarlane

  After a time when Ailene had told him everything she could recall about being pregnant, they fell silent. They touched, kissed, and he helped her rise from the chair. Gideon wrapped his arms about her, craddling her, large with his child, to his chest.

  Idelle took pity on them, she brought a tray of food up. The two of them stood quietly as she put the tray on the chest. They ate then Gideon helped his wife to undress. He was nervous about getting into bed with her. Ailene drew him to the bed, when he lay down next to her, she cuddled close to him spoon fashion. Gideon's arms fastened around her under her swollen breasts. With a sigh that settled into his heart like a healing balm, Ailene fell asleep.

  Gideon inhaled the scent of her. She smelled of spices and heather. It was pure bliss to be in bed with her. After a while she turned. Ailene leaned her stomach against him as she slept. There were faint movements he felt as her flesh moved. Gideon did not want to sleep. There was too much he had missed. Sleep would rob him of the pleasure of being with her.

  A thought crossed his mind. Gideon lay a hand on her. He wondered if the babe was a boy or girl. A girl, a red haired, russet eyed beauty, would please him to no end. They would be close, as Cadell and Ailene were close. A little girl, opinionated, stubborn and as fearless as her mother would tax his patience but bring joy to his heart. Just before he slipped into sleep he thought about being a father to a little boy. He wanted to be a father, a good father as Cadell was. And as he thought about it, a good father as his own father had been.

  Christal found Ainsley before he was able to excape to the safety of the hall. Ainsley did not want to talk to anyone about his first experience of war. He was not sure what to say to Christal. Thankfully she did not question him. She only wanted to be held and kissed. Ainsley was eager to do so. They found a place to sit in the dark. Christal put her head on his shoulder. Ainsley was happy to be back in the glen. He silently thanked God for the peace he was now able to enjoy. Later, he wanted to talk with Gideon about what he had experienced. He had questions he felt only Gideon would understand.

  Ailene was taking a nap. Gideon went out to see how the wall had turned out. He found Ainsley waiting for him. The lad followed him around silently for a bit. Gideon walked down along the burn until they reached a fairly secuded spot. He sat cross legged in a patch of grass near the bank. Gideon watched Ainsley walk slowly toward him.

  "Ainsley, you wish to talk?"

  The boy threw himself down onto the grass, turned on his side then propped his head up on his bent arm.

  "Do ye mind?"

  "Nay, Ainsley. What is it you wish to talk about?"

  Gideon plucked a blade of grass. He bit on it tasting the slightly bitter grass.

  The lad nodded.

  "Are there no rules ta war? I thought knights wa to obey rules?"

  His green eyes held a sadness, which had not been there before.

  "In a perfect world, aye, there are rules. This is not a perfect world. You know what the Sassenach did to Wallace, what they did to the King's wife and daughter. You know how they killed his brothers?"

  With thumb and forefinger, Gideon removed the piece of grass from his tongue.

  "That dinna excuse the harrying of Buchan."

  The boy's wide mouth that was usually smiling was turned down.

  "Nay lad. I am not trying to excuse it. It is the climate that we find ourselves in. If you are in a storm, you need to try to protect yourself. Scotland is in a storm. The King is doing what he hopes will kill all opposition to his rule. If we are fighting among ourselves, we cannot keep the Sassenach from coming along and taking what they want."

  Gideon wondered if he were starting training for fatherhood early. Cadell was not here to answer his fosterson's questions so that left him.

  "I ken that. So, we must fight using ta rules the Sassenach have made?"

  Gideon nodded.

  "Unfortunately, we have no choice. As there was no unity in Scotland, the King was forced to fight like an outlaw."

  Gideon shrugged.

  "Longshanks decared all who wished to keep Scotland it's own country outlaws. Outlaws do not have the luxury of acting like great knights."

  Gideon decided to try to expand Ainsley's horizon.

  "You know about the crusades. The Moslems did not fight according to the rules of engagement. Therefore, those who fought them were forced to change the rules. Does that make sense to you?"

  Ainsley nodded but was silent.

  "What you can do is to decide within your own heart what you will or will not do. Once you have decided, stick to that. I will not kill innocents. I care not what I am ordered to do, I will not do so."

  Ainsley nodded again and his lips formed a stern line.

  "Nor will I. I canna kill those who canna defend themselves."

  "There you have it Anisley. You have made a decision, no matter what, even if you lose your life, you must stick to that principal. If you do not your soul will be lost."

  The lad and the young man were quiet. Then Ainsley looked at Gideon with a smile.

  "Ye wa wrong. Ye ken more about women than ye ken, mind."

  Gideon raised his eyebrows in question.

  "I ha watched ye wa Ailene. Christal liked having her fingers kissed."

  Gideon laughed. Ainsley laughed along with him. The sadness that had shadowed the lads green eyes was gone. Gideon felt he might have helped the lad cope with the realities they had to live with.

  Chapter 18

  Early the following morning Ailene woke Gideon. She asked him to rub her back, as she was unable to get comfortable. She turned on her side so Gideon could rub her back. Nothing worked so Ailene rose from the bed she began to pace. Gideon felt her growing nervousness. He rose then got dressed. Offering to get her something, he straightened the covers on the bed. Ailene only wanted water. Gideon went down stairs to refill the tankard for her. When he brought it back up stairs she was bent over with a hand over her stomach.

  "Gideon, fetch Edeen. My water broke. The wee one is on its way."

  He nearly dropped the tankard in his rush to put it on the chest. Then he hurried out of the room nearly falling in his haste to get down the stairs.

  When Edeen followed him into the hall, she sent him into the kitchen to start a fire in the fireplalce. Idelle walked in as he was coaxing the fire into flame.

  "It is her time I ken."

  Gideon ran a hand through his hair.

  "Aye. Edeen has told me to stay out of our room."

  He rose from the fireplace and began pacing.

  "I do not wish to be shut out. Not now."

  "Aye. I can ken that. Ye are worried and ye ha not been able to be with Ailene. Gie up there lad. Tell Edeen to ask Ailene what she wants. Leave it to Ailene."

  He raced up the stairs. Edeen came to the door at his knock.

  "Gideon, ye need ta stay down stairs."

  He shook his head.

  "Ask Ailene. I will abide by her decision. If she wants me to stay away until the babe is born, I will."

  Edeen left the door open so Gideon could hear Ailene's answer to the question.

  "Aye, let him in. I need him."

  Edeen shrugged her shoulders.

  "Be warned Gideon, this will be messy an loud. No lose yer nerve here."

  Ailene walked. She walked supported by Gideon. When the pains came she leaned against him and panted. Gideon kept silent. He did as directed by Edeen. Gripping his hands until he thought she might break his fingers, Ailene rode out pains that were becoming closer together and harder to bear. At times he bit his lip to keep silent. The day passed by ever so slowly as Ailene fought to bring the child into the world.

  It was late in the day when Edeen felt that Ailene was finally ready. She had Gideon help Ailene to the birthing chair. Ailene was in almost constant pain. Gideon thought about how his mother had probably suffered the same bringing him into the world.

  The thought that some women did not live through the odeal attempted
to enter his brain. Gideon refused to think about it. He had been watching Edeen carefully. He did not sense any anxiety in her demeanor.

  Edeen began to urge Ailene to push. A high thin scream came from Ailene as she pushed. And then it was done. Ailene's scream was replaced by the wail of the child Edeen now held. Gideon leaned forward to watch as Edeen lifted the child into Ailene's lap.

  "A fine lad Ailene. Ye did well lass."

  Edeen told Ailene as she tied the cord in two places then cut it.

  Gideon watched as with trembling fingers Ailene used her stained night robe to clean the babe. Ailene turned her head to smile at Gideon. He brushed sweat soaked hairs from her face as he returned her smile.

  Edeen took a soft cloth. She wrapped the babe in it.

  "Here, Gideon, ye take the bairn. I need a moment more with Ailene."

  Gideon reached out to take his squirming son in his hands. An emotion squeezed his insides as if a giant hand had taken possession of him. He counted his son's fingers, then marveled at the tiny little arms. The black hair that covered the tiny head was softer than goose down. He ran one finger down the tiny shoulder and arm. The bairn's skin was so soft; Gideon lifted his finger to stroke the babe's cheek in wonder.

  In the background he heard Edeen speaking with Ailene. Gideon turned to see that Edeen had helped Ailene from the chair. Edeen was draping a gown over her head. Ailene was staring at him and the babe he held with a soft smile on her face. Edeen helped her into bed then called Gideon over.

  "Bring the wee one. He needs ta suckle."

  Edeen plumped the pillows behind Ailene.

  Gideon handed the child to Edeen. After placing the child in Ailene's arms, Edeen pushed her gown to one side exposing one breast. Edeen showed Ailene how to encourage the babe to suckle.

  Gideon watched as his son hungrily attached himself to her nipple. The child eagerly sucked. He felt as if he had been knocked senseless. He thanked God for his good fortune. The bairn was healthy, Ailene was well, and life was good.

  Edeen picked up a bundle of soiled cloth then walked to the door. She was smiling at the sight of a birth that had gone well.

  "I will send a tray up. Ailene needs ta eat so she may feed tha bairn. Keep the room warm Gideon. The bairn dosna need a chill, ye ken?"

  He nodded acknowledgment of her words without taking his eyes from Ailene and his child.

  "How do ye feel being a fayther while ye are ten and eight years?"

  Ailene asked as she smiled up at him.

  "Nay love, I turned ten and nine at the end of March."

  Ailene sighed.

  "Then both of us are a year older. I turned a score and one in December." She looked down at the babe then shook her head.

  "Mayhap we can spend ye birthday together next year."

  Gideon could tell she was crying.

  "Aye and mayhap we can also spend your birthday together as well."

  Ailene nodded her head in response. There was a tap on the door. Gideon went to open it. Ainsley stood there with a tray of food. He handed it to Gideon with a shy smile.

  "Ye are a fayther now?"

  "Aye and ye will get to see the bairn later. Thank you Ainsley."

  He took the tray then placed it on top of the chest. Gideon checked the fire. He placed another log on the coals. Lifting a chair, he pulled it over to the side of the bed. He watched as Ailene moved the child to her other breast. With the tips of his fingers Gideon lifted her chin. A tear slid slowly down one cheek.

  "Why are you crying Ailene?"

  She shook her head.

  "I dinna ken. Mayhap because I love ye, I love the bairn, and I missed ye so desperately."

  "Ailene, I, I love you and the babe. I wondered what love was like and I know now. I love you and my child more than I can tell you."

  Gideon leaned forward and kissed her.

  The sweetness of it left Ailene smiling. Gideon's face wore a smile that lit him in a way she had not seen before. The shield he had worn between himself and others was gone. Her laddie was growing into a man. Ailene wanted to know more of what had happened to him during those months he was gone. She resolved to somehow get him to tell her about what he had experienced.

  "Now then Ailene, what are we to name this son of ours?"

  His voice broke into her thoughts.

  "Well now, I ha no gotten that far. I was waiting on ye."

  The infant had fallen asleep. Ailene carefully removed her nipple from his mouth. She lay the bairn in her lap then tied the neck of her gown closed.

  Gideon watched the satisfied child where it lay on her lap. On his back, little arms up, the babe's little chest rose and fell with each breath. 'What to name the the child?' He thought. 'What do I want for this child?'

  "Ailene, what would you think of naming him after David in the Bible? He was a good king, a man who loved God. In Hebrew it means 'beloved'."

  "Aye, Gideon. In Gaelic it is 'Daibhidh'. Tis a good name for him. David, Davie it is."

  Gideon looked at his son.

  "Davie. Aye, he looks like a Davie to me with that dark hair."

  Ailene laughed at him. She picked Davie up, gently moved him to the center of the bed and pulled up a fur cover around his little body.

  "Do you want to eat?"

  Gideon rose then walked over to the tray.

  "Aye love. I am so hungry."

  He picked up the tray then placed it across her lap. Gideon leaned back in the chair as he watched Ailene eat. He was feeling a sense of peace he had never experienced before. He leaned forward to pick his son up from the bed. Davie stretched. Gideon grinned at the baby in his arms.

  "Here."

  Ailene held out a piece of meat for him.

  "We should eat then try to sleep. Davie will wake soon for another feeding, mind."

  Gideon ate what she held out for him, reluctant to put his son down. When the food was gone, they put the infant on a pillow between them in the bed. They went to sleep each of them curled around the baby between them.

  There were fields to see to, animals to tend. Gideon marshalled his clansmen. They did not have the luxury of having others work the land for them. As small as Clan MacGrough was they had to work their own fields. They were responsible for putting enough by to take them through the winter months.

  Gideon did not mind the hard work. But he did find that having a baby around made sleep difficult at times. Not that he really minded. The babe melted his heart and he would do anything for the wee lad. He understood why parents often fostered sons out. It would be difficult to watch his son hurt while training. Gideon thought about it. He decided he was probably not going to do so. Watching his son grow was a privilege he did not wish to give to another.

  Gideon helped Tavin cull the sheep. There were a few lambs that went to the spit. Others were hung and smoked. Several ewes, no longer productive were butchered.

  Of the twins, Tavin who was their shepherd also took care of the smoker. Some of the fish and the venison that was brought in by the hunters went to the smoker. Tavin was training two lads, Ian and Bram in the use of the smoker. Gideon learned the essence of smoking meat but left the acutal process to Tavin and his lads.

  Tavin's twin, Tavis, was already working with the bees making honey from the combs filled by his bees from the gorse flowers. They would use the honey for mead and sweeting.

  Tavis also took care of the cattle. He had looked over the herd carefully. It was Tavis who decided two of the cows should be butchered. They saved the suet from the cows and sheep as it had several uses. The suet was used in cooking and for candle making.

  Idelle was busy in the kitchen. Ailene had been down in the kitchen with Idelle the day after the birth of Davie. Idelle and Ailene put the honey given to them by Tavis to use making mead and vinegar. Some of the vinegar was used in making pickled meat and fish. There were many uses for the vinegar. Later in the fall berries would be put up in vinegar and honey for the winter.

  Along with
being their midwife, Edeen was the clan alewife. She brewed the ale that was consumed throughout the year. In concert with Dalziel, they made whiskey from a recipe that belonged exclusively to Clan MacGrough. The two of them were know for a slightly bitter whiskey that was reputed to have a healing power for stomach ailments. Gideon had found it to be an acquired taste.

  All the matters Cadell had overseen fell to Gideon. Gideon and Ailene were as busy as they could be. Gideon knew that he would relieve Cadell in August if he did not see his father in law sooner. That would mean that he and Ailene would again spend their birthdays apart as well as Davie's first Christmas.

  Gideon tried to keep those thoughts at bay. There was no profit in worring about what might be. It was possible that the winter season would see a lull in the fighting. It was also possible that the King would use the winter months to attend to the matter of Sassenach occupation of his castles. It did not matter at this moment. What mattered now was amassing as much food as could be preserved, stored and put by. The clan had three new babes to care for and various children.

  Tavin and Tavis each had sons who were fostered out to relatives in The Gregorach. They both expected their lads back home perhaps with wives in tow before the end of the year. Sim had a son who had been fostered out with his wife's brother, a MacFarlane. Sim did not expect his son to return this year. When the lad did he might be bringing a wife with him. God only knew if there would be any more bairns added to the clan during the year. In any event, the clan could easily swell and those added to the clan would need to be fed.

  Never before had Gideon been so intimately involved in the production of food. It had been there or it had not. Since coming to Scotland Gideon had found out more about food and how to get it than he had ever known. Previously hunting had been for sport, the game had been eaten but it had not been necessary to survival.

  The only thing different about food in Scotland was how the highlanders felt about pork. It was only eaten if nothing else, absolutely nothing else could be found. Gideon did not really care one way or the other. He was content with beef, mutton, game and fish. It had amused him, as his Jewish mother would have been at home with that attidude toward pork.