The Londum Omnibus Volume Two (The Londum Series Book 12)

by Tony Rattigan

  ‘Seriously?’ asked the Arch-Mage. ‘There is someone here on this planet that can move between Universes of his own volition?’

  ‘Oh indeed there is. You remember I told you about the second Great Blast? Well, that was because of him. He got hold of a previous piece of Dark Matter right here on Earth and took it back to the beginning of time and then caused the second Great Blast. I manoeuvred him into doing it as part of my plan but he didn’t realise that until afterwards. You see how it works, this manipulation business?

  ‘He could do it but he might take a bit of convincing as he won’t want to help me. You see the last time he saw me he told me he never wanted to see me again. But I suppose if you were to appeal to his patriotism ...’

  ‘But there is such a man?’ asked Victor.

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Well who is he, how do we find him?’

  ‘He lives right here in Londum and his name is Rufus Cobb.’

  ‘Rufus Cobb?’ gasped the prime minister. ‘The private investigator?’

  ‘That’s right,’ replied Harlequin. ‘Do you know him?’ he asked, surprised.

  ‘Yes, prime minister,’ said the king. ‘Do you know him?’

  ‘Yes,’ Lord Parmesan replied, somewhat reluctantly, unwilling to reveal state secrets to the room at large. ‘He, er ... he was one of the gentleman that helped us out with that little affair in Pils-Holstein a while back.’

  ‘I see. It appears that Mr. Cobb has been of some service to the crown in the past,’ admitted Victor. The king understood why the PM was being hesitant. It wouldn’t do to reveal to the room that the government of Albion had conspired to remove the ruler of a foreign country. (See Hair of the Dog)

  ‘But that’s not all,’ continued the prime minister. ‘Word came to us through the Secret Service and the Home Office that this Rufus Cobb claims to have had an attempt made on his life by Elves! He wasn’t able to prove this because of the two that attacked him, one was lost in the river and the other was burned beyond recognition.’

  ‘So they are aware of him and his ability?’ asked the king.

  The prime minister shrugged but Harlequin said, ‘From what I’ve seen they realise he is important but they’re not exactly sure why. Which means they won’t be guarding against him going to their dimension.’

  The king said, ‘Let us hope not. However, it seems important that we bring him under our protection. Now then tell me, he can just wish himself into this other Universe and steal the Dark Matter?’

  ‘Well, not exactly, I would need to give him some assistance. It would be his own ability that does the transportation, I would just give him a little push in the right direction, as it were.’

  ‘And will you be going with him?’

  ‘No, that’s not allowed, which is why he has to be the one to go. Without my help he cannot correctly choose the right Universe to travel to but he is quite capable of returning to this one by himself.’

  ‘Or to any other one, perhaps,’ interjected the prime minister. ‘After all, the prime objective of this mission would be to get the Dark Matter away from the Elves. It’s only of secondary importance where it goes to, providing they no longer have it.’

  ‘Lord Parmesan! I’m shocked,’ the king remonstrated with him. ‘We would wish all of our subjects who go on this mission to return safely. We will not countenance sending anyone on a suicide mission.’

  The prime minister sighed inwardly. ‘Very well, as Your Majesty wishes. We will do all we can to ensure that Mr. Cobb and Co. return to this Universe with the Dark Matter.’ Where we will see what our scientists can do with it, he thought to himself.

  ‘So be it,’ the king instructed. ‘Now then, this Rufus Cobb must be brought to the palace immediately.’

  Harlequin chimed in, ‘Might I suggest that his lady friend, Miss Adele Curran, be brought along as well. She has met me before and was involved in the Great Blast adventure. Besides which, she has had some scientific training and might be able to add some useful knowledge to the Dark Matter discussion.’

  ‘Adele Curran?’ said the Arch-Mage. ‘I’ve heard that name before.’

  ‘Indeed you have, Abraham. She’s one of mine,’ Queen Eloise told him. ‘She’s the witch that invented the cure for a werewolf bite.’

  ‘Yes, I remember her now,’ agreed the Arch-Mage. ‘Isn’t it strange that all the players in this story seem to be connected? We know Miss Curran who is attached to Mr. Cobb, who is known to the king and the prime minister. Cobb is acquainted with Harlequin here, who happens to be the only person who knows how to defeat the Elves. Isn’t this all rather coincidental?’

  ‘That’s right,’ confirmed Harlequin. ‘One might think that this is all part of some careful plan,’ he said cryptically as he raised his eyes to heaven. ‘But I’m just the messenger boy, they don’t tell me everything.’

  ‘Nevertheless, we need to take action,’ King Victor told him as he waved over his Aide-De-Camp, a Guards colonel. ‘Colonel Frost, Please find out the address of a Mr. Rufus Cobb and a Miss Adele Curran, and then send a detachment of Household Cavalry to bring them here to the palace. It’s time to ask Mr. Cobb to serve his country again.’

  Invitation to the Palace

  Cobb and Adele were sitting in their drawing room drinking tea. Adele was involved in her needlepoint as Cobb read the paper.

  There was a knock at the front door which they heard Won Lungh answer. A moment later he came into the drawing room and informed them that there was a detachment of soldiers at the front door and they wanted to speak to Cobb.

  Adele, convinced that this was some elaborate practical joke by Cobb, was determined not to be caught out, so she calmly put down her needlepoint, turned to Cobb and casually asked, ‘Are we expecting any soldiers, dear?’

  Cobb, believing that this was somehow a joke of Adele’s and she had put Won Lungh up to saying this, put down his paper and answered nonchalantly, ‘I’ve been a trifle bored lately so I ordered up some soldiers … I thought we might invade Kent for a bit of a laugh.’

  Adele, not to be outdone in the coolness stakes replied, ‘That’s nice dear. Will we have time though? Dinner’s at six.’

  They both sat there, smiling at each other, waiting for the other one to crack first. After a moment, Won Lungh said in exasperation, ‘Well ... isn’t anyone going to speak to them?’

  ‘You mean there really is someone at the door?’ Cobb asked him.

  ‘Yes. Group of soldiers on horses and officer demanding to speak to you.’ He pointed at Cobb.

  Cobb looked at Adele who simply shrugged.

  ‘Erm, okay,’ said Cobb, still not entirely convinced. ‘Show him into the office.’

  After Won Lungh left the drawing room, closing the door behind him, Adele turned to Cobb and said, ‘What have you done now?’

  ‘Nothing, honest. Well, nothing that I can think of.’

  ‘Well you’d better not keep him waiting otherwise we might get invaded.’

  Cobb let himself into the office where an officer was standing there, resplendent in his scarlet tunic, white trousers and shiny, leather boots that came up past his knees. His silver helmet with the ponytail sprouting from the top, was under his arm. He didn’t salute Cobb as the British Army don’t salute when they aren’t wearing headdress, but he stood to attention as Cobb approached.

  ‘Lieutenant Saunders, Household Cavalry. Would you be a Mr. Rufus Cobb?’

  ‘Yes, I’m Cobb. Is this some kind of practical joke, Lt.?’ Cobb asked him.

  Lt. Saunders led him over to the window which faced out onto the street. There were seven soldiers in the street, mounted on horses, one of them holding an eighth horse. They were arranged fore and aft of a covered carriage which bore the Royal crest on the doors. Two footmen waited patiently in the driver’s seats.

  ‘Does that look like a practical joke?’ replied the Lieutenant.

  ‘A very expensive one if it is. Why are you here? What do you want with me?’<
br />
  ‘I am under express instructions from His Majesty, King Victor, to bring you and a Miss ...’ he checked a piece of paper he held in his hand, ‘... Adele Curran to the palace, immediately. Please fetch Miss Curran and we will leave for Buck House straight away.’

  ‘What does the king want us for?’

  ‘Alas I have no information on that, I just carry out my orders. But they were quite explicit, you will accompany me to the palace.’

  ‘But you can’t just scoop us up and carry us off to the palace without any sort of explanation,’ Cobb protested.

  Lt. Saunders casually but blatantly enough that it was obvious to Cobb, placed his hand on the handle of his sword. ‘Mr. Cobb, Albion is in a state of war. I think you’ll find that lots of things can happen that wouldn’t normally be allowed. The survival of the nation is at stake.’

  Cobb looked at the Lt., then out of the window at the other soldiers and weighed the odds. Eventually he said, ‘Wait here a moment please, I’ll fetch Miss Curran.’

  He went out into the hall and shouted to Won Lungh. When he came through from the kitchen, Cobb led him into the drawing room where he explained the situation to them both.

  ‘Why does the king want to see us?’ Adele asked him.

  ‘Well, we’ve done some brave things in our time, maybe they’re finally going to reward us.’

  ‘Oh really?’ said Adele. ‘I’d better get my handbag then, we’ll need something to carry all the medals in. Let’s go.’

  They got their coats and hats from the hall, collected Lt. Saunders on their way past the office and descended into the street. Lt. Saunders waved to one of the footmen, who opened the door of the coach for them. All three made to get in but Lt. Saunders stepped forward to stop Won Lungh entering the coach.

  ‘Wait a minute,’ the soldier told him. ‘You’re not invited, I was only told to bring these two along.’

  Cobb leaned forward, ‘He’s Miss Curran’s bodyguard, she never goes anywhere without him. If you want to try and stop him ... good luck with that. Just let me find somewhere to hide first, it could get messy.’

  Exasperated the soldier gave in. ‘Okay, he can come. Buck House can sort it out.’

  Once the footman had closed the door on the three of them and returned to his position in the driver’s seat, Lt. Saunders mounted his own horse and gave the order to advance.

  ***

  The coach containing Cobb, Adele and Won Lungh pulled up before the main entrance at Buck House. Lt. Saunders dismounted and waited as the footman opened the coach door and helped them down, then he led them to the main door where the king’s Aide-De-Camp, Colonel Frost, was waiting for them.

  Saunders snapped to attention and saluted the colonel. ‘Mr. Cobb and Miss Curran as requested, sir.’

  ‘Who’s the other one?’

  ‘Apparently Miss Curran’s bodyguard. He refused to be left behind and as I was told it was urgent ...’

  ‘Very well, you did the right thing. Okay, I’ll take over from here.’

  Lt. Saunders gave another salute, wished Cobb and Adele a good day and returned to his men.

  The colonel asked everyone to follow him. On the way up to the first floor War Room he briefed them on what to expect. ‘The king has requested your presence so I’m taking you up to see him.’

  ‘Why does he want to see us?’ queried Cobb.

  ‘I’ll leave that one to him to explain ... I don’t think I could. Now remember, you do not speak unless spoken to. When you speak to him you address him as Your Majesty or sir, clear?’

  ‘Clear.’

  When they arrived at one of the doors to the War Room the colonel turned to Won Lungh, ‘You wait out here.’

  Won Lungh looked at Adele who nodded so he seated himself across the corridor facing the door, so he could keep an eye on it.

  ‘Right, let’s go,’ the colonel told them and led the way into the room. The king, the prime minister and their senior advisors were standing in a small group at the head of the table. The colonel made his way to the king and the crowd parted to let them approach.

  ‘Your Majesty, allow me to present Mr. Rufus Cobb and Miss Adele Curran.’

  Cobb bowed to the king. Adele curtsied to the king and then turned to Queen Eloise and bowed to her. (Witches bow to each other, never curtsy.) Eloise bowed back.

  ‘Mr. Cobb, Miss Curran, welcome to Buck House,’ said the king. ‘Thank you both for accepting my invitation.’

  Like we had a choice, thought Cobb but wisely he didn’t say that. ‘It was my pleasure, Your Majesty, but I must admit to being a little puzzled as to the reason for the invite.’

  ‘My prime minister tells me that you have had a problem with Elves.’

  ‘With respect, sir, I understand the whole country is having a problem with Elves.’

  ‘I acknowledge that but I was referring to a personal attack on you.’

  ‘That’s my belief, sir, but I was unable to get anyone to believe me at the time. I’m sure it would be different now that the Elves have shown their true colours.’

  ‘Do you have any idea why they singled you out for attack?’

  ‘Not a clue, Your Majesty, it doesn’t make any sense. I did try to warn people about them once they had made themselves known to us, but I doubt they were aware of that. But why should any of this concern Your Majesty?’

  ‘We have a situation regarding the war against the Elves. We appear to have reached an impasse and the only way forward, to ensure our victory, requires your assistance.’

  ‘Mine? I’m not quite sure how I can be of any use to you.’

  ‘Oh come now, Mr. Cobb, you’re too modest. I understood that you have an unusual talent, the ability to travel between Universes. And not to mention your bravery, I’ve been told that you once argued against the Gods ... and won!’ We could use a man like you on our side in this war.’

  Cobb was speechless. There were maybe four people (including himself) at most who knew of his little ‘talent’ as the king described it. Himself, Adele, Won Lungh and Thornton Wells. How the hell did the King of Albion know about it?

  At that moment he caught a flash of red out of the corner of his eye and his heart sank. Harlequin made his way from the back of the group where he had been hiding himself. The brightly dressed clown grabbed Adele’s hand and kissed it. ‘My dear Adele, lovely to see you again. How are you keeping?’ he asked, taking her hand in both of his and stroking it.

  As before, the hair on Cobb’s neck began to stand on end as he watched Harlequin fawning over Adele. He was obviously still attracted to her. It was time to put a stop to that. ‘And how is your lovely wife, Columbine?’ he asked.

  ‘Ah yes,’ Harlequin let go of Adele’s hand and faced Cobb. ‘She’s well, thank you. She sends her regards.’

  They stood there like two aggressive dogs facing off to each other, until the king thought it wise to step in. ‘Our friend Harlequin here has been regaling us with tales of your deeds. You have had some interesting adventures, haven’t you? I think it would be enlightening to share a bottle of brandy with you one night and listen to your story.’

  ‘Your Majesty, you don’t mean to tell me you believe anything he has told you?’ protested Cobb. ‘He has another name you know ... Loki. If you look him up you will see that he is known as the Master of Mischief, the Lord of Misrule. They even write books about him and his tricks. He’s a liar and a cheat. Don’t let him fool you. Whatever he’s told you it’s to serve his agenda, not yours.’

  ‘Well of course I’m portrayed in books as a liar and a cheat,’ agreed Harlequin. ‘That’s because the books have been written by people who I’ve lied to and cheated, to get my way. I told Your Majesty that I use trickery and deceit to achieve my aims. That’s what I do; I admit that, it’s what I was created for! So yes, people have been deceived by me but that’s because those people had embarked on a course of action that the Gods deemed too severe and had to be stopped. The only difference between th
en and now is that they never knew the motives behind my actions, here I’ve explained them to you fully so that you understand how serious the situation is.’

  ‘Is that good enough for you, Mr. Cobb?’ the king asked him.

  ‘Well, I haven’t heard his explanation of course but if it’s good enough for you, Your Majesty, then I suppose it’s good enough for me,’ he answered diplomatically, not wishing to offend the king.

  ‘Splendid,’ said Harlequin, holding out his hand for Cobb to shake, ‘The old team, back together again, to save the world. Exciting, eh?’

  ‘I can hardly contain my indifference.’ Cobb looked at Adele who discreetly nodded in Harlequin’s direction, meaning ‘shake his hand’, so Cobb did, reluctantly.

  ‘There we are then, all friends again,’ said the king. ‘Now, perhaps you could explain to us the exact nature of your little talent.’

  ‘I’m not too sure about it myself, to be honest. I can do it but I’m not so sure about how it works. Perhaps my friend here,’ he indicated Adele, ‘can explain it better, she’s a scientist.’

  King Victor extended his hand towards Adele in a ‘please go ahead’ gesture. ‘Miss Curran, if you’d be so kind?’ The scientists amongst the group eagerly pushed forward to hear the explanation of the Multiverse from someone who apparently had an understanding of it (which is more than they did).

  ‘Well, Your Majesty, where to begin? Has Harlequin told you about the second Great Blast?’ Everyone nodded and confirmed he had. ‘When that happened the Universe was split into the Multiverse, many, many Universes co-existing alongside each other. But what you probably don’t know is that the separation caused each Universe to develop its own electrical frequency, which makes it resonate, that is to vibrate, at different speeds. When you have two objects vibrating at different speeds they become invisible to each other.

  ‘So each of the Universes is actually laid on top of each other. Occupying the same space but invisible to all the others surrounding it. To move from one Universe to another you simply have to alter the frequency that you vibrate at.’