Diary of an Incubus

by Diary of an Incubus (lit)

  “My condolences on your boyfriend’s passing,” she said softly. She took the deck of cards in her hands and held them for a moment between her palms. Again, she closed her eyes. Neither of us spoke. I think Brea and I were both afraid of breaking her concentration.

  She opened her eyes again and started laying out the cards. I knew just enough to understand she was using the ten-card spread, but I had no idea what the cards meant.

  “Now, let’s see what the cards have to say, shall we?”

  Chapter Twenty One

  I watched, fascinated as Angela explained to Brea what the cards meant and how they related to her life. The first card, the Five of Pentacles represented Brea and what she had been going through. It stood for failure and loss. Several of the cards suggested that new influences would be presenting themselves very soon into her life. When she reached the tenth card, she smiled and looked up at Brea.

  “This is very good,” she said. “According to all of this, your final result, the culmination of all these influences is The Lovers.”

  “What does that mean exactly?” Brea asked.

  “If these influences remain in your life, this is where you will end up.” Brea looked confused so Angie elaborated. “You’ll end up in a brand new relationship and according to this, a good one. The Lovers stand for harmony, trust, deep feeling, and of course love.”

  Brea gasped. “You mean I’m going to meet someone new? Wow. I’m excited, but this seems a little strange to think of so soon after losing James.”

  Angie smiled again. “You want to hear something even stranger?”

  Brea looked hesitant. “Sure.”

  “You’ve already met him.”

  “What? Oh, my gosh.”

  Angela patted her hand. “Don’t think too hard about it. Things will unfold as they were meant to.” Then she added more softly, “You’re going to be just fine.”

  “Thank you,” Brea said. “You don’t know how much I appreciate that, or maybe you do.”

  “You’re very welcome.”

  I was just starting to feel comfortable when Angela turned toward me. “And what about you?” she asked.

  “Oh, I’m just here for moral support.”

  The fortune teller rested her chin against her hands and continued to study me. It was time to go.

  “So, there is nothing you wish to know?”

  “No,” I answered nervously. “I’m good, really.”

  “I don’t have to read the cards,” she said. “I can read your eyes. This tall dark man, he is of great significance to your future.”

  I was getting up to leave, but that stopped me.

  “Vincent?” Brea asked.

  Angela smiled. “Ah, that is not his name. Although this Vincent, he plays a major part as well.” She pointed at me as if she’d just discovered something. “You care for them, both of them.”

  I needed to get out of there before she said too much. “I’ve got to be going.”

  “Your life will change forever before the month is out,” she said suddenly, rising to her feet. I froze. I didn’t know what to say. Angela reached out to touch my face and I didn’t back away. “This choice you fear, it is your destiny and it will be your salvation.”

  Brea rose to stand beside me, but I didn’t turn my eyes away from the witch. I say witch because that’s exactly what she was. She had just blurted out my private business in front of Brea. And what did she mean my destiny and my salvation?

  “Forgive me if I have upset you,” she said. “But you needed to know this.”

  “Maybe I did, but you had no right to blurt it out in front of someone else, especially when I asked you not to.”

  Bitch, that’s what I really wanted to say. But unlike her I did possess some discretion. The look of shock that passed over her lovely features said clearly that she hadn’t realized her faux pas until I pointed it out.

  “I’m sorry. Guess that’s why I don’t get much business these days,” she stammered.

  “What do we owe you?” Brea asked.

  What did she mean we? I didn’t owe this bitch anything besides a punch in the face.

  “No charge,” she said. “Again, I’m very sorry.”

  I stormed out, not even waiting for Brea to follow me and didn’t slow down until I reached the car. How dare she?! That bitch had no right! If Brea was curious at all about what the fortune teller had said, she didn’t dare mention it. I was fuming. Once Brea unlocked the door I sat down and crossed my arms, staring out the window. I knew this was a bad idea, but Brea needed me. She was going through a lot right now and she didn’t need me to make her feel worse.

  We were almost back into town before she spoke. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize she was a nut job.”

  “That bitch wasn’t a nut job and that’s what worries me.”

  “You want to get some lunch? We can talk about what she said if you want, but you don’t have to. I knew what I wanted to ask, but if I hadn’t asked for anything I’d be real pissed too. Come to think of it I’m surprised I didn’t slap her for you. That’s just not like me to hold back.”

  I laughed and it made me feel better. “It sure isn’t. I would have enjoyed watching little miss shorty-shorts get her ass beat.”

  Brea laughed so hard she snorted. “I’m going to tell the owner of the magic shop about her. People should be warned not to bring someone with them if they don’t want all their laundry aired out. I mean, what the fuck?”

  I knew what she really wanted to ask was about the two men the witch had mentioned. Brea really was learning to hold back.

  “You got good news, though,” I said, trying to change the subject.

  “Yeah. It seemed kind of perverse though, talking about meeting someone new and James is barely cold, you know?”

  I agreed, but it was still good news. Brea had gotten what she wanted, something to look forward to. I might as well have been slapped in the face. But, I had gone for her not me. I had to remind myself sometimes that the world did not revolve around me. Then my thoughts started to wander toward putting a witch in my next book just for the purpose of killing her off in some horrible way. I laughed and Brea gave me an odd look.

  “I was just thinking of writing a book about a witch and killing her off.”

  She laughed harder than I expected and it made me laugh even more. “Talk about stress relief. I envy you. If I want that kind of relief I have to kick people’s ass for real.”

  “That’s not good.”

  “Yeah. The only thing that will get in print is a wrap sheet.”

  I knew she was teasing me. Brea had never been arrested for anything in her life. We continued to share macabre ideas of what could be done to this hypothetical witch character while she drove us to a little restaurant downtown. By the time we sat down and ordered a glass of iced tea I was feeling much better.

  “Even though she was out of line, I feel bad,” I admitted. “Do you think I overreacted?”

  Brea sputtered a little before answering. “Are you kidding me? I thought you acted like a lady. I would have smacked the bitch.”

  “I guess you’re right. I just don’t like treating people badly, even when they have it coming. It makes me feel sick.”

  “Trust me, she had it coming. And I don’t think you treated her badly at all. You just put her in her place. That’s a different thing entirely.” Brea put down her glass and stared at me for a second or two. “So, you know me and I’m sure you know that I’m about to pee my pants with anticipation.”

  I laughed. “Anticipation of what?”

  “Like you don’t know. How the hell did your meeting with the council go? And two men? Come on. Are you seeing someone else, does Vincent know? I’m sorry for throwing all of this at you. I know she didn’t mean to spill the beans, but she did and now I want to know. If you aren’t ready to talk about it or if you don’t want to then just tell me to shut up. I won’t be offended. But I have to tell you, I really want to know more tha
n I want to shut up.”

  I wasn’t sure what to say. Should I tell Brea everything? What would it hurt? She was my friend and I did need to talk it over with someone who wasn’t directly involved. I had considered talking to Vincent and Alucard, but what would they say? Pick me! Pick me! That was real fucking constructive.

  “Can we order lunch first?”

  My question seemed to catch her off guard. “Sure.”

  I was halfway through my cob salad and the margarita I ordered to go with it when I decided to start talking. Brea and I had been eating in silence and she’d fidgeted the whole time. I couldn’t bear to watch it anymore, but I still wasn’t sure how to start. As usual, I just blurted it out.

  “For starters, the witch was right.”

  “Right about what?” Brea nearly choked on her hamburger. “About the two men?”

  “Yes.” I leaned in close enough to whisper even though no one was sitting close enough to hear us. “Two vampires, actually.”

  She gasped. “You’re shitting me.”

  “I almost wish I was.”

  “Almost?”

  “Let me tell you how the meeting went before I explain the almost.” I went on to tell her everything that had happened. I also elaborated on the fact that I’d been talking to Alucard for some time before the meeting so that his request wouldn’t seem out of the blue. But when I got to that part, Brea stopped me anyway.

  “He asked for what?”

  She was making an effort to keep her voice down, but her whispered response still echoed. I looked around nervously. This restaurant was busier in the evenings, so no one really came out for lunch. There were only two men there besides us and they were spaced out on the other side of the large room. Unless they were werewolves, their hearing wasn’t good enough to pick up our conversation. I hadn’t told her yet about the human servant part, only of Alucard’s request to spend the night with me.

  “So, what happened?” she prompted.

  “I spent last night with him.”

  Brea looked like she was holding her breath as she asked, “And?”

  “And it was amazing. I had no idea that I could feel so much for someone in such a short amount of time. I love Vincent, but that took time to develop …” My words trailed off and I was finding it harder and harder to breathe. My mouth was going dry so I took a sip of tea instead of the margarita this time.

  “You love him.” It wasn’t a question, Brea could see right through me.

  “Without a doubt.” It felt so good to say that out loud and I didn’t have the slightest clue why.

  “What about Vincent? What does he think about all of this?”

  I proceeded to tell her exactly what Vincent thought, leaving nothing to the imagination. I explained that since he was an Incubus, he had different opinions in regards to sex than most people. It wasn’t a complete shock to see the smile spreading across her face.

  “So, couldn’t you have them both? I mean, how hot would that be, two vampires? Could you handle it?” She laughed. “Shit, I’d like to try if you don’t think you’re up to the task.”

  I offered her a smile but my tone was serious when I told her, “There’s more.”

  I told her about having to become a human servant of one of the vampires and all that would mean.

  “So, the witch was right. My life will change forever in a month’s time, because that’s when I have to make a decision. It hasn’t really sunk in yet, but I’ll never make it to thirty.” I reached across the table and took her hand. “I’m going to live forever, Brea and I’m not sure how I feel about that.”

  “Well, you just found out last night.” She stared off into space as she spoke, not meeting my eyes. Her voice sounded hollow like she’d just received some very shocking news. I guess that was appropriate. I don’t know how I would have reacted if she’d just said to me all the things I just said to her.

  “Fuck.” That was her first word for at least five minutes. “If this other guy cares about you, he won’t go through with it. There’s got to be a way to work something out.”

  “I don’t want to lose them. I don’t want to die and I don’t want to become a vampire. What other choice is there? I’ve got to belong to one of them or I’ll lose them both by living a mortal life. I’m sorry to unload all of this on you … but that fucking witch.” I finished my margarita in one gulp. “I hadn’t meant to say anything at all. I can only imagine how this must sound. You probably think I’m a slut or crazy or both.”

  Brea squeezed my hand and I stopped talking. This time she met my eyes and the look she gave me made me want to cry.

  “I’ll still be your friend when I’m old and saggy and you’re still not,” she said. “The witch said that the decision you feared was your destiny and your salvation. I take that to mean you aren’t going to die. If this Alucard is as clever as he seems, I’m sure he’ll find a way around the rules.”

  Boy was that ever an accurate description of him. A clever man who could find a way around the rules. He managed to find a way around his own death, why not this? Of course, I left all of those things out of my story. I would never compromise his identity. I also left out the fact that Brea’s dream of him being at that night club with us was not just a dream.

  “That means a lot to me, Brea. Thanks.”

  We finished our lunch and when Brea dropped me off I had a sudden desire to take a bath. However, before I could put much thought into that the phone rang. It was Matt. I told him about having lunch with Brea, but left out everything we had discussed. I also left out the whole unpleasant incident with the witch. Once I had made a decision, I would have to figure out how to break it to him. I didn’t know how he would feel about me living forever, but after all we’d been through he deserved to hear it from me.

  Matt informed me that post production was nearly finished on the movie, The Incubus Chronicles, Volume One. I had no idea what went on in post production so I just listened while he spoke. They would be starting an ad campaign really soon and he needed Vincent and I to pose for some more photos and I should be contacted soon about interviews. Great. That’s just all I needed. Deep down I was happy about the movie and the good book sales. But it’s hard to think about business when you’ve got all eternity to think about. Not to mention deciding within a month how you plan to spend that eternity. Choose correctly and it could be your heaven. Choose incorrectly and it could be your hell.

  I made my way upstairs and paused when I entered the bedroom. The curtains were closed tight against any rays of sunlight, but I wanted to look at Vincent. I needed the comfort of seeing his face. I parted the bed curtains as carefully as possible and slipped inside.

  Chapter Twenty Two

  He looked so beautiful lying there. His hair spilled over my golden pillow like a dark dream. A soft whispery cloud that I knew would slip through my fingers like spun silk if I touched it. But I didn’t touch him, I just looked. He was bare from the waist up and as always I admired the perfection of his form. I remembered how he had looked with the leathery bat wings and imagined him with feathered ones instead. That was the only thing that kept him from looking just like an angel to me.

  I thought more about the night we were attacked and remembered every detail of his transformation. Like I said, he was the hottest gargoyle I had ever seen. Gargoyles were supposed to be protectors. Many people believed they kept out bad spirits. That’s why they were placed at the top of so many ancient structures. I guess people thought they’d have a better view from up there. Vincent had certainly protected me that night. Maybe that was his purpose in my life, besides loving me. After all, I had named my tattoo after him, which was also meant as protection. It made sense. But where did that leave Alucard?

  He certainly wasn’t an angel, and didn’t even have the appearance of one. But I couldn’t bring myself to disapprove of the devil in him. Maybe that’s what drew me to him so, that hint of evil, that wicked touch of the forbidden. You weren’t supposed to bring
bad men home with you, let alone spend eternity with one. But I didn’t consider turning him down for one minute, neither did I consider turning down Vincent.

  “Destiny and salvation,” I mumbled as I closed the curtains. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

  I headed toward the bathroom, leaving my clothes in a trail as I went. Even though the weather was getting warmer, it was still a bit cool in my house. I liked it that way. I pulled on a cream colored silk robe and started filling the tub. Normally, I didn’t take a bath like this in the middle of the afternoon. But a relaxing soak helped me to think sometimes. And sometimes it just helped me to clear my head. Both of those would be great right about now, I’d settle for either one.

  I rummaged around under the vanity until I found some lilac bubble bath. That sounded nice. I removed the cap and held the bottle underneath my nose, breathing deeply. Ahh. The perfect scent to help me relax. After lighting a few candles I closed the door leading to the bedroom to shut out any extra light. Once I flipped the switch just inside the door there was nothing but the candlelight reflecting off my large mirror. Should I cover the mirror? Why bother?

  I walked over to the counter and ran my fingertips over the small charm Alucard had given me. He said that if I hung it above my mirror he couldn’t watch me. But where was the fun in that? If I had to live in torment for the next month, so did he.

  It was almost as if my decision brought him to life. Instantly his face loomed in the darkness behind the mirror and a slow smile curled his sensuous lips. Very slowly he removed his dark glasses and placed them on a table beside the chair where he sat. He was wearing only a long red robe. The color and the fabric looked lush and delightfully garish next to his pale skin. I was just about to ask how he was watching me when it was still daylight outside when he said, “Different time zones.”

  He crossed his legs and the robe fell open, revealing a muscular expanse of thigh. I practically drooled over the sight of the flesh I had so recently felt beneath my hands … and over the body I had so recently felt beneath my own. I closed my eyes and I could feel him pinning me against the wall, impaling me once more with his rock hard cock. What was happening to me?