The After Girls

by Konen, Leah

  But Ella shook her head. “No,” she said. She looked to Jake but he just shrugged — he looked preoccupied. And after everything that had happened, he had a reason to be. So she grabbed Sydney’s arm before she could take a seat and dragged her out the door.

  “Why did you bring Max?” she asked as soon as they were safely outside.

  “Why did you bring Jake?”

  “Because we need three people,” she said. “It said so in your aunt’s book.”

  “Whoa,” Sydney said, her eyes getting so big that Ella could see every stroke of liner. “You really are serious about this.”

  “Of course I’m serious,” Ella found herself snapping. Anger made it easier to hold back the tears. “I thought you were, too.”

  “I’m only doing it for you,” Sydney said, as if that were an excuse.

  Ella shook her head as she felt her face get hotter. “If you’re going to do it for me, do it for me. Don’t just ruin it because you didn’t want to do it in the first place. Don’t make a joke of this,” she said. “Please.”

  Sydney waited a minute before speaking, and Ella watched her go over it all in her head. Weighing whether to keep fighting or just give in. Sydney had always been an easy one to read.

  Finally, her face softened, and she uncrossed her arms and let them hang at her sides. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I really am. I just — the whole thing creeps me out and I thought if I brought them, I don’t know, it might be easier.”

  Ella narrowed her eyes at her friend. “But you don’t even believe me — why would it creep you out?”

  “It just does, okay?” Sydney said. “Listen — I’ll make sure they — I mean, Max — behaves. Okay?”

  Ella hesitated. Part of her wanted to demand that Max leave — she hated the idea of going back in there and doing it all in front of him. But Sydney was here and she was ready. And Ella didn’t know if she’d get another chance to show her. To prove to her what was going on. Whatever it was.

  If she asked Max to leave, she didn’t know if Sydney would leave with him.

  “Alright,” she said. “But if he starts doing anything — ”

  “I’ll make him leave,” Sydney said. “Promise.”

  They walked back in together and sat down next to each other, forming a circle, Jake sitting so close that if she turned at all, their knees would touch.

  “So what now?” Max asked, opening his beer with an impossible-to-ignore click. “What’s all that?” he gestured at the bread and candles in the middle of the hula hoop.

  “The bread is for nourishment,” Ella said, as calmly and seriously as possible. “It’s supposed to attract the spirits.”

  Max stifled a laugh, but Sydney gave him a shove, coming through, at least. “Shut up,” she said.

  “Okay okay,” Max said, lifting up his hands in mock innocence.

  “We’ll be good,” Carter said, shooting Max a look. “Scout’s honor.”

  Ella cleared her throat. “Jake, you want to take the bread out of the bag and put it on this?” She pulled out a small plate — she’d made it a couple of years ago, and it was one of her favorites, glazed in varying shades of pale blue.

  There were already a few candles lit, but she ceremoniously lit three more — she wanted the circle to feel complete.

  “What can I do to help?” Sydney asked.

  “Just arrange them around the plate.”

  Sydney grabbed a couple and set them down carefully. They were mismatched, warm and colorful. They smelled like middle school — Vanilla Delight, Lavender Romance — and for a second, Ella was back at her old 8th-grade locker, spraying herself down with some flowery number, Astrid standing next to her, asking to try it —

  “What next?” Sydney asked, jolting herself away from the hallway full of kids, from Astrid’s face, eager to wear the new scent.

  “Okay,” Ella said, staring at the people around her: Jake, deep in thought, probably about his family, about how much Grace had kept from all of them; Carter, watching Sydney watch Max; Max, sipping on his beer. They were so far from middle school now. They were so far from even a month ago.

  Ella flipped to the first page of the chapter. “It says we should all hold hands.”

  Max laughed — outright this time.

  “Will you stop it?” Sydney asked.

  He just laughed harder then. “I’ll pass,” he said. “We’re not in preschool.”

  “It’s so the circle stays unbroken,” Ella said, trying not to scream. “You have to.”

  Sydney grabbed Max’s hand, but he pushed it away.

  “Hey,” Carter said. “Don’t be a dick.”

  “Don’t call me a dick,” Max said.

  “Then don’t be one,” Carter snapped back.

  “Fine,” he said, shaking his head and holding out his hands, which Carter and Sydney quickly took. “We should have just gone to Pat’s party,” he said under his breath.

  And that’s when it hit her — Pat’s party. “Shit,” Ella said, louder than she intended. Ben. She’d told Ben that she’d go with him. She’d already blown him off once last night. She grabbed her purse and pulled out her phone. She had three missed calls already — she’d turned it on silent for the séance — all from Ben.

  “What is it?” Sydney asked.

  Ella stared at her phone, deciding. She should stop what they were doing, call Ben, explain that she wasn’t coming — or at best, that she’d be late — that’s what a good girlfriend would do. That’s what a good friend would do.

  That’s what she should do.

  But she didn’t.

  “Nothing,” she said. She put her phone back inside her purse and reached for Jake and Sydney’s hands. Jake gave her an encouraging squeeze.

  “Alright,” she said. “Let’s go.”

  She glanced at the book, pushing thoughts of Ben aside. “I’ll try and summon her, and we’ll see what happens.”

  Sydney turned to her, her face almost understanding. “You ready?”

  Ella nodded. “Everyone, close your eyes. We have to keep our hands locked or the circle will break. Okay, repeat after me,” she said.

  “We are seeking Astrid. Come, Astrid, and communicate with us.”

  There was a pause — an agonizing pause — and she wondered if they were all going to burst out laughing at her in a second — even Jake — but then she heard Sydney and Jake join in, and eventually Carter and Max.

  “We are seeking Astrid. Come, Astrid, and communicate with us.”

  Silence, except for a snicker or two from Max. Ella shut her eyes tight, waiting.

  Even though her hands were shaking and her mouth felt dry, nothing happened.

  After a minute, Sydney leaned towards her. “What are we supposed to do now?”

  “I don’t know,” she said. “Wait, I guess.” She took another peek back at the book. Repeat as necessary.

  “Okay,” she said. “Let’s say it again. Ready?”

  She waited a second, and then she started them off: “We are seeking Astrid. Come, Astrid, and communicate with us.”

  Silence.

  “Uhh, nothing’s happening,” Max said.

  “Shut up,” Sydney snapped. “Anything, Ella?”

  Ella opened her eyes and looked about the room. God, she wanted something to happen so badly. One tiny thing to show Sydney that she wasn’t crazy. To prevent Jake from thinking the same thing. To make Max feel like the asshole that he truly and sincerely was.

  But there was nothing.

  “Let’s say it one more time,” she said.

  “We are seeking Astrid. Come, Astrid, and communicate with us.”

  It was silent for a moment, and Ella almost let go.

  But then the wind came in fast, rushing around them, shaking the cabin, raising goose pimples on her skin.

  In moments, the wind had stopped and silence followed. Ella opened her eyes to see that everyone else had their eyes open, too.

  “Don’t move,” she
said, looking straight at Max — then around the circle. “I think I hear something.”

  “Me too,” Sydney said, and for a second, she almost looked scared.

  There was a rustling, a definite rustling. Like someone was moving through the woods.

  And then in seconds the sound got louder and was followed by a solid thump at the door. A loud one. One that even Sydney couldn’t ignore.

  “What the hell was that?” Sydney asked, her voice bathed in surprise and fear.

  Even Max and Carter were squirming, but Ella didn’t want to lose this — not yet. “Keep your hands together,” she yelled. “We can’t break the circle.”

  Jake squeezed her hand tighter as the thumps circled the room, on the door, on the walls. Following them. Behind Sydney. Behind Jake. Behind Carter. Behind her.

  They were taunting her. They were taunting all of them.

  Thump.

  Thump.

  Thump.

  THUMP.

  This is what she wanted, she reminded herself. This is what she begged for. But now that it was here, she didn’t know if she wanted it anymore. It was too real, now. Impossible to ignore.

  “Screw the circle,” Max said loudly, unclasping his hands. “Someone is messing with us. We should go see who the hell it is.”

  The thumps stopped abruptly, and there was nothing but the wind through the leaves and the clicking cicadas and the up-and-down heaving of every one of their chests.

  “Why don’t you do it if you’re so worried about it?” Carter snapped at Max.

  “Why don’t you?” Max yelled back.

  “Because you’re the one who’s scared.”

  Ella jumped up before she could lose her nerve. “I’ll look.” She rushed to the door, whipping it open, because she might be there, she had to be there — Ella couldn’t keep chasing and chasing and getting nowhere — but just like this afternoon, there was no one.

  Even the branches were still. Keeping secrets.

  But she thought of the silk and she thought of the flowers and she thought of the coconut smell, still in this room.

  And she knew it as sure as she knew her own birthday.

  Maybe she wasn’t here now. Maybe she hadn’t left a trace.

  But she definitely had been.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  Sydney rushed them out of the cabin as quickly as she could. Even though Ella said she hadn’t seen anything, they were all pretty freaked.

  Once they were out of the woods, they made the impulse decision to actually go to Pat’s party — everyone was in agreement that drinks were badly needed — and even Ella seemed eager to go.

  So they piled into Carter’s car — Jake sat up front, and Sydney squeezed into the middle between Max and Ella. Max looked pseudo-terrified — he definitely wasn’t cracking jokes anymore. Carter had his hands tight on the steering wheel and the music turned loud. Jake kept stealing glances in the side mirror — probably to look at Ella, to see how she was. Sydney just looked straight ahead as she tried to figure it all out.

  What exactly had happened to them?

  Carter hit a speed bump and she went flying into the ceiling, banging her head. Ella turned immediately, while Max just continued to stare out the window. “Are you okay?” she asked.

  “Yeah,” Sydney said, rubbing the top of her head. Yet another reason why she needed a drink. A strong one. She looked at Ella. She was the only one of them who seemed okay. Amazingly so. “I’m sorry I didn’t believe you,” Sydney said.

  Ella’s eyes widened, and she looked almost … happy. “You do now?”

  Sydney hesitated. Stuff was happening in the cabin. There was no denying it now. But what Ella wanted to believe … well that’s just what Ella wanted. There had to be an answer, an explanation, that would make it all make sense.

  “I don’t know what to believe, El,” she said finally. “I really don’t.”

  In minutes, they were in front of Pat’s house. Sydney had been here once before for some kind of cookout. Cars lined the street, turned every which way, promising them that the party would be big.

  The boys got out of the car, but Ella stayed put. “What?” Sydney asked.

  “Stay here a second,” she said, her eyes super serious. “I need to talk to you.”

  Out of the corner of her eye, Sydney saw Jake look right at Ella as she said it — then quickly look away.

  “We’ll be there in a sec,” she said, and the boys walked away, leaving them alone.

  “What is it?” Sydney asked. “Are you okay? I know what happened back there was really freaky — trust me, I get it — ”

  “It’s not that,” Ella said.

  “What then?” How could anything be more serious or pressing than what had happened tonight?

  Ella looked at her straight-on. “You have to tell me the truth, okay?”

  Sydney nodded. “Of course.”

  Ella paused before she spit the words out.

  “Did you know that Astrid’s dad is alive?”

  Sydney froze.

  Her eyes darted around the car — an old soda cup, dirty socks, Ella’s face so serious that she couldn’t be making it up — and her heart felt like it might jump out of her chest.

  “What?” she asked.

  “Her dad’s alive,” Ella said in earnest. “We’ve seen him.”

  And Sydney was shaking her head now because she couldn’t believe it. The saxophone player. The one who’d been ga-ga for Grace. He was dead. Car accident. Audie had told her. George, too. It couldn’t be.

  “No,” she said. “Audie told me he died in a car accident.”

  “Yeah, that’s what everyone said. It’s not true.”

  “No,” Sydney said. “No. It has to be. Audie said.”

  “Did she go to the funeral? Because Jake says he’s alive.”

  “No,” she said. “It was somewhere far away.” She realized how futile it sounded as she said it. “She couldn’t go.”

  Ella just stared at her. She waited a minute before speaking. “He didn’t die,” she said slowly. Surely. “He left them.”

  “I don’t understand,” Sydney stammered. “Audie said that they were in love. Audie said that he was nice. She said — ”

  “I don’t care what Audie said,” Ella’s voice was firm. “Why were you asking her about him anyway?”

  “I don’t know,” Sydney said. “He came up, and then she was just saying all these things, and he sounded so nice, and — and — ”

  “Why didn’t you tell me any of this?”

  “You were preoccupied.” Ella rolled her eyes at that, but Sydney didn’t care. She didn’t have time to worry about her being mad — she was too busy trying to put it together. Trying to understand. She knew Astrid was reserved, she knew she didn’t like to talk about the bad things, but her dad — she had a dad — living and breathing — and she’d told them he died?

  “Wait?” she said. “Wait, what? You say we saw him?”

  Ella nodded. “Remember the man in the suit who was crying?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “At the funeral.”

  Sydney racked her brain — she remembered the casket and the way Grace had looked and the way Ella had seemed like she was going to fall apart any second if she didn’t hug her, hold her together.

  And then she saw him. The man, crying. Crying for his daughter.

  And the tears came to her now, so hard and fast that she didn’t even feel them coming until her face was wet, and Ella was the one holding her together now, as her body shook so hard that they rocked Carter’s shitty old car.

  Astrid’s dad was alive. And she’d never told them the truth.

  And in a flash Sydney knew it, and it was so real, it hurt, sending a new round of sobs right through her.

  They hadn’t really known their friend.

  They hadn’t known her at all.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  Ella managed to clean Sydney up before they le
ft the car and headed into the party. She hadn’t checked her phone again. She didn’t want to. She didn’t want to go at all, really, but she knew that it would be better to at least make an appearance. Plus, she couldn’t leave Sydney now. Not until she’d at least calmed down.

  It wasn’t hard to find Max, Carter, or Jake. They were congregated around the cooler, on an enormous porch that opened up to a view of the mountains that was unreal.

  Carter grabbed them beers, and Ella watched as Sydney opened hers quick. She took a gulp — a long one — swallowed, waited a minute. Took another.

  “Careful,” Ella said, but she opened hers as well, taking a sip as she scanned the yard for Ben. She didn’t see him.

  Jake grabbed another beer for himself and walked over to where she stood. “Hey,” he said. “You guys alright?” He looked from her back to Sydney.

  Ella nodded. He narrowed his eyes then and lowered his voice so it was almost a whisper. He leaned in close. “Did you tell her?”

  But she didn’t have time to answer.

  “There you are,” she heard Ben’s voice behind her. Loud.

  She turned around. “Hey,” she said, putting on her best fake smile. “I’ve been looking for you.”

  “I’ve been calling you all night,” he said. “Allll night.”

  “I know,” she said. “I completely forgot, and my phone was off.”

  “Why?”

  “For the séance,” Max piped in.

  She turned to him and gave him a look — not that he cared.

  “Excuse me, what?” Ben asked, his voice getting louder. “Like to talk to dead people?”

  He stared at her, his face red with anger. Or alcohol. Or both. She could tell that he was drunk — and it wasn’t like Ben to get drunk.

  “I’m really sorry,” Ella said. “I should have called you.”

  “Yeah, you should have called me,” Ben snapped.

  “Whoa, dude,” Jake said, stepping forward. “She said she was sorry.”

  “Shut up,” Ben said, without even looking at Jake. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Sydney, Max, and Carter slowly step away, giving them space. She wished she could just walk away with them.

  “Did he go, too?” Ben asked.