Saving Us

by Ashley Johnson

  I cross my arms over my chest and tell myself I’m not saying another word. We have a stare down that lasts about a minute and a half before I let out an agitated sigh and finish telling her about how I sat most of the time and he tried to offer me some water. She heard it all, and I saw her jaw hit the floor when I told her he helped me up and then I accepted the water.

  “What did he taste like?” She grins.

  “How the hell would I know what he tastes like?”

  “You drank from his water bottle, duh.” She breaks into a fit of giggles and I groan.

  “My lips didn’t touch the bottle I’ll have you know. The only thing I touched was his hand when he helped me up.”

  She’s quiet for a moment which scares me. I have no idea what’s going on in her head until she looks at me with the most serious expression she can muster and says, “You know Syb, its ok you know that, right?”

  Tears fill my eyes, dammit, I don’t want to cry. I won’t. I know she’s right but I don’t want her to know that. I’m not ready to move on but I understand it’s ok to feel attracted to someone. It’s natural for people to be attracted to one another, I can’t help that.

  “I know Meg. He’s just a stupid guy, probably just being nice so I’m not thinking anything on it. I have to focus on school. Plus, his phone rang twice while he was by me and he didn’t answer which leads me to assume that he has a girlfriend. He’s probably scum.” Even saying those words aloud still doesn’t ease the thoughts of him.

  “So you just assumed it was a girlfriend?” she asks.

  “It had to be, why else wouldn’t he answer a phone call?”

  “Maybe he didn’t want to talk because he was so wrapped up in your beauty.” I roll my eyes at her and try my hardest not to laugh.

  “Yeah, ok, Meg.”

  “You know what they say about assuming right? You make an ass out of you and me. Don’t assume, let him talk to you, woo you maybe. Who knows, you may have fun.”

  “Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?” I joke smacking her in the arm.

  “I’m Megan Lemoine, your one and only best friend. I’ve been here all along. It’s my job to support you and help you where I see fit.” She nods wearing a grin. Smart ass.

  “Ha, very funny. Enough talk about Blaine, ok?”

  “He has a name?!” She shrieks and I bat my hand at her begging her to shut up.

  “Could you be any louder?” I hiss. “Cory is right freaking there!”

  “Forget him Sybil, its ok. He didn’t hear, I swear. So Blaine, huh?” she wiggles her eyebrows and I grab a throw pillow and attempt to smother her. Lucky for her, I can’t hold the pillow down long enough.

  Cory comes strutting back in the living room and Megan and I cease the conversation we were just having. He sees me holding the pillow and Megan’s face is crimson as she struggles to catch her breath. He doesn’t question us, just laughs as he sits down. He’s clueless and I like to keep it that way. After all, Caleb was his best friend. I’m not so sure he would understand.

  Chapter 8

  Sybil

  Hello Friday! Hello to a few days to myself with nothing to do. Most importantly, no Blaine staring holes into me trying to start a conversation. It’s not going to happen. There is nothing I want to tell him besides where to hang a sweater or if he can grab a textbook for me. I thoroughly enjoyed my visit at the elementary school. I got to sit in on a class of pre-k students and I was exhausted by the end of the day. Everything about it was so rewarding. I promised each and every one of them I would be back next week and I’m counting the days until I can make it happen.

  I find myself staring at my phone in class almost willing it to vibrate but nothing comes. Megan said she already had a test this morning and her phone would be off until she was finished. Time seems to be taunting me, moving slowly trying to make my life a living hell. Five minutes passes in what seems like five years and the professor finally dismisses us. I jump up a little too enthusiastically grabbing my backpack and making a beeline for the door. Fresh air never felt so good.

  I see no signs of Blaine as I make my way to the doors of the bookstore. I walk cautiously as if I’m in a field of mines. No Blaine would make for a perfect day. I didn’t see him yesterday and I lived. I survived perfectly fine. See, he doesn’t affect me.

  “Who are you hiding from?” someone whispers against my ear.

  I turn quickly smacking into the person, and when I see it’s Blaine, I shoot daggers in his direction. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I hiss.

  “Well you looked like you were on some secret mission. I wanted to see if you needed help.” He smiles that cocky smile and me, I roll my eyes.

  “Blaine, even if the world were under a zombie apocalypse, I wouldn’t need nor would I ask for your help.”

  “Ouch, that hurts. I would save your life. Who knows, maybe we could be the ones to repopulate the planet.”

  My eyes bug out of my head. “Did you really just say that to me?”

  He smiles again obviously unaffected by the fact that I’m pissed. “I guess I did huh? Maybe I should have just thought it.”

  “Yeah, maybe, or maybe you should just forget you even though it because you are the last person I would ever touch.”

  “Why’s that?” He inquires folding his arms over his chest. Over that amazing, muscle filled chest.

  “You’re not my type.” I state matter of factly.

  “What’s your type?”

  “Not you.” I brush past him purposely hitting him with my elbow. I’m not in the mood for these games of his.

  I immediately walk over to the clothes and start to straighten the mess. I’m a quick worker and that agitates me because time has not moved nearly fast enough. Blaine is flirting with some redhead girl looking for a math book and I’m glad someone has distracted him for the time being. I can only hope she continues to keep him occupied. I’m still reeling from his comments earlier.

  I walk mindlessly through the bookstore straightening different odds and ends and I’m elated when I find that some time has passed. My phone vibrates and I pull it out to find a text from Megan.

  Megan: Ugh, I hate tests. I better have passed! Are you sure you’re still coming tonight?

  Me: Yes, I’m still coming tonight.

  Megan: How’s work with BLAINE?

  I scrunch up my nose at the mention of his name and then in all caps. She has lost her mind.

  Me: Sucks, but human survival may depend on us…according to him anyway.

  Megan: Say what?!

  Me: He’s stupid and I can’t stand him.

  Megan: Yeah ok, I’m sure you at least entertained the idea in your mind.

  Me: I hate you.

  Megan: Whatever, be here as soon as you can later.

  I didn’t reply to her after that. I tried to look up to where Blaine last stood with the girl but neither are in sight. Where did they go? Wait, why do I care?

  ***

  Blaine

  I had to walk away. I had to remove myself from the equation before I made more of a jackass out of myself. This has got to be the stupidest assignment I’ve ever been sent on. She watches me like a damn hawk and she won’t budge at all. I have to make her budge. She needs to budge or both our worlds will shatter into nothing. Landon will make damn sure of that. I can’t let that happen. When I return from the bathroom, she is nowhere to be found. Something tells me she hauled ass out of the bookstore and my mission of the day has failed. All because I suggested we repopulate the planet because who am I kidding, I’d love to run my hands up and down her body and show her what it means to feel good inside and out. But I’m really kidding because no way in hell can that happen. Fuck.

  Exiting the bookstore is the best thing I can do right now. It helps get my mind off her. I’m tired of going to the same bar every night and drinking the same old drink. I need a change of environment. I wish I knew where she went so I could see her carefree
in the normal world, living her life like she wants to. I can’t help but overhear a few girls talking excitedly about 80’s night tonight at a local bar. Are they serious? They are discussing their outfits like they are living in the 80’s and this is 2014. I roll my eyes ,but then I realize this is something different and I did say I need a change. What will it hurt to get out a little and get my mind off of Sybil Hayes? I know she is all I should be thinking about right now and I do think about her but not in the manner I should be. I’m not thinking about getting Landon’s money, I’m thinking about making her mine. Yeah, it’s official, I’m going to this 80’s night and purging myself of her. Then Monday, its back to business as usual, the real reason I’m here.

  ***

  I can hear the sounds of the 80’s as I stand in line to get in. I’m beginning to second guess myself. The thought to turn around and just leave crosses my mind several times but I continue to follow the line like a mindless drone. I see guys wearing everything from parachute pants to the sparkly one handed glove that Michael Jackson wore. What did I get myself into? I just came dressed very modern wearing a pair of blue jeans and a black polo shirt. No way in hell would anyone catch me dressed like this.

  The women were a totally different story, this was kinda turning me on. Most of them looked like Madonna wannabes. I’ve never seen so many leg warmers in one place, ever. They all had teased hair and I had to check the calendar on my phone to make sure I didn’t really step back into time. Lights were flashing on what was the dance floor and people were dancing all over one another to ‘Pour Some Sugar On Me’ by Def Leppard. I have a feeling I’m going to need a few strong drinks to get into this. As that song ends, ‘Love Shack’ by B-52s begins and I decide it’s time to make my way to the bar.

  I order a double Crown and Coke and sip it nonchalantly as I watch this major freak of a flashback. I was born in the 80’s, this feels like a weird version of the twilight zone. The song seems to go on forever and I’m glad when it ends and the DJ turns to play something more modern. I begin to relax, this is more like it. I don’t even care what’s playing I just know I’m glad to hear something that doesn’t make me want to drink myself into oblivion. I’m beginning to second guess my decision to come here. I should have gone to some hole in the wall bar like I’m used to. The decision suddenly becomes clear, I will leave as soon as I finish this drink.

  My eyes roam the bar in search of the bartender so I can close my tab and get out of this time warp. She’s busy at the end of the bar filling shot glasses and handing beers out to the throngs of people waiting. Shit. I raise my hand waving it to get her attention. She sees me and waves to let me know I’m next.

  Before she can make her way to me, the DJ begins to speak. “Sybil Hayes, it’s been too long. I was wondering how long you would stay away from us.” Holy shit, she’s here. I step away from the bar and begin to scan the crowd. “You know I have to play this for you, its tradition.”

  I don’t see her yet, but the crowd begins cheering. I want to see her. Suddenly, the room goes black. I can’t see a single thing so I stand still waiting. A spotlight shines in the crowd and a strobe light begins to slowly turn lighting the room in an enchanting manner. That’s when I see her. She looks even more beautiful standing in the spotlight although she looks uncomfortable. I’m taking it she used to come here often with Caleb. ‘Like A Prayer’ by Madonna begins playing and the crowd begins singing along. She doesn’t move at first, but a girl beside her grabs her beer bottle and begins crooning into it facing a sad looking Sybil. Slowly, I begin to inch my way closer to get a better look at Sybil. She’s wearing an oversized printed sweater that hangs off one shoulder with black tights and pink leg warmers. I said she was beautiful, no she is immaculate. Right as the first chorus is starting, Sybil picks up her beer bottle and begins to sing along with her friend. A smile spreads across my face as I get to see this different side of her. She’s never appeared this carefree in front of me. She sings her heart out throughout the rest of the song and when it ends, she hugs her friend tightly.

  It looks like she just wiped a tear from her cheek and I want to be the one to wipe her tears away. Once again, we’re back in the 80’s and she’s dancing with her friend again to the up tempo song that’s blasting through the speakers. I recognize it instantly as ‘Dance the Night Away’ by Van Halen. She twirls around pressing that bottle to her lips and my feet begin involuntarily moving in her direction. She doesn’t see me coming and I like it this way but her friend sees me looking at her and a curious smile slants across her lips.

  I’m standing behind her. I can smell the hairspray and perfume on her body and I’m instantly taken to another world. The perfect world where she and I can maybe be together without a care. A world without Landon and his demands. “Can I cut in?” I say before realizing it came out.

  Sybil turns abruptly looking me dead in the eyes. Her smile falters as she continues to stare at me. She looks back to her friend who gives her an encouraging smile but Sybil’s eyes wear nothing but doubt.

  “I need a beer, you want one Syb?” she asks innocently. If looks could kill, she would be dead. Sybil is clearly not okay with this, but her friend smiles and happily skips off into the arms of a guy. I’m guessing that’s her boyfriend.

  Instinctively my arms wrap around her waist and I feel her body tense up against mine. “It’s ok, I won’t hurt you.” I whisper into her ear. I feel like a total dickhead for lying but in this moment, I know I won’t hurt her at all.

  Slowly she turns to face me, my arms still around her waist and her eyes lock with mine. “Blaine,” she begins to whisper.

  “Shhh, its ok. I just want to dance with you, that’s all.” And in the midst of a crowd dancing to an upbeat song, here we are slow dancing. It’s all too perfect.

  Chapter 9

  Sybil

  I’ve struggled all night. I struggled with getting ready for tonight. This is the first time I’ve been to 80’s night since Caleb died. Megan is gung-ho, so I will do everything I can to have a good time. Even when the DJ singled me out and played ‘Like a Prayer’, it took everything in me not to cry but I got through it smiling along with Megan. Cory danced a few songs with us before retiring to the bar to sit down and watch us have our fun. I’m shocked and not quite sure how to feel when I hear Blaine’s voice. What the hell is he doing here? Megan doesn’t realize this is him, but she walks away leaving me completely helpless with the one guy I try to avoid on a daily basis.

  We’re slow dancing in the middle of a Van Halen song and when it ends ‘Caught Up in You’ by .38 Special starts and Blaine begins softly singing the words. Our pace stays the same and I find myself looking up into his ocean blue eyes. They are soft and almost inviting. They are different than the eyes I see normally in the bookstore. This is a whole new side to him and it’s nice. He smells sweet and manly, but at the same time, he smells like heaven. He has the most rugged handsome face with just a hint of stubble. I fight the urge to run my hand across his jawline, I don’t want to freak him out. I’m already freaked out by this situation.

  The song ends and we’re still standing face to face. It’s like there’s no one else in the room with us but neither of us speaks. Cory comes walking up out of nowhere and grabs my elbow. “Hey Syb, can I talk to you?”

  He looks Blaine up and down. Shit, this isn’t good at all. Blaine politely steps back giving me room to inch towards Cory. I turn my head back towards Blaine and he’s smiling lazily at me. Oh boy.

  “Who is that Sybil?” Cory asks.

  “I work with him in the bookstore. I didn’t know he was going to be here.”

  “Are you ready for this? What about Caleb?”

  I look at him suddenly in disbelief. I knew this was coming. I feel my face turn beet red as I try to choose my words carefully. I’m appalled by what he said. “Cor, I’ve lived five months in an emotional hell because of Caleb. You know I loved him more than anything in this world but he’s gone. All I did was
dance with someone.”

  “He was my best friend, Sybil. I told him I’d look out for you. I promised him before he—before he killed himself.” He whispers.

  “I know you did and you’re doing great. I’m fine Cory. He was my best friend too and he’s not here. I’m tired of hurting. I just want to have a little fun. It was just a dance, I’m not going home with the guy.”

  I’m fighting to control my emotions, I want them in check. I can smell Blaine before I see him. He must sense something is wrong and I wish just this once he wouldn’t try to come step in this.

  “If anything happened to you, I’d never forgive myself Sybil. I didn’t mean to go all big brother, but Megan walked up without you and said you were dancing with some guy. I’m sorry.”

  I pull him in for a hug and whisper, “It’s ok Cor, I know you meant well.”

  He hugs me tightly back before pulling away. He notices Blaine and extends his hand out, “I’m Cory, Sybil’s best friend and that blonde over there is my girlfriend Megan.”

  Blaine smiles accepting the handshake. “I’m Blaine.”

  The two talk for a few minutes before the DJ plays ‘Footloose’. I wanted to stand there and listen to them talk but Megan grabs me by the hand and drags me to the dance floor. The entire time we line dance, my eyes are glued to Cory and Blaine. They seem to be getting along. I knew Cory would go all big brother eventually, but I don’t see why he did it with Blaine. There will never be anything with the two of us.

  Blaine meets me on the dance floor again a few songs later and this time I don’t fight him. I admit, I sort of like the feel of his hands on my waist. His hand slides down and rests on my butt and I try not to let him see me blush but I fail miserably.