Saving Us

by Ashley Johnson

  “I love you Caleb.” I say before turning to walk away.

  The wind is beginning to pick up and I’m sure any minute now, the sky will open up and dump buckets of rain onto my poor unsuspecting self. I walk with my head down trying to shield myself from the wind and not paying attention. The only thing I care about is getting to the truck and getting home. Out of nowhere, a man steps out causing me to nearly trip and fall. I tried to stop but I was walking so fast, I nearly lost my balance. His arm catches mine and I look up to apologize for my clumsiness. I gulp as I look into the deep black pits in this man’s eyes. He looks ruthless and I’m really hoping he doesn’t decide to lay into me for my mind being absent. His bald head has a few raindrops on it but he doesn’t move to wipe them away. His arms are absurdly huge and he looks terrifying. He says nothing though, but instead just stares at me, completely creeping me out. My body shivers as I pull my arm away and straighten myself up again. “I’m sorry,” I mutter as I walk even faster, not stopping until I reach the truck. When I get inside, I lock the doors immediately.

  ***

  Blaine

  To say I’ve thought about Sybil every second since 80’s night, is an understatement. She has utterly consumed every thought I’ve had. I’ve controlled the urge to text or call her to make sure she’s safe. I haven’t heard anything from Dante or Landon since I found out Dante is in town. I’ve been lying low, which is easy on the weekend but I can’t exactly do that come Monday. I know Sybil is safe right now, but on campus, that’s where the dangers lurk. She would never suspect them and I can’t leave her to fight the demons when she doesn’t even know they exist.

  ***

  I feel like a creeper standing off to the side of the building watching Sybil talk to her friend, Megan. I should just walk up and talk to them. I mean for hells sake, I had my tongue down her throat the other night. I waited for her to slap me or walk away for kissing her, but she didn’t. She kissed me back. I guess I just had to see if she was over Caleb or not. I don’t expect her to be over him now or probably ever, but I needed to see if I at least stand some sort of chance with her. My phone buzzes and I’m praying it’s not Landon. My prayers are answered but as soon I think they are fully answered, I read the message.

  Dante: Landon said you have 3 weeks. Her sweet ass looks good in those jeans, am I right?

  My eyes roam around looking for him. He’s either here walking around watching her or he’s fucking around with me. I don’t put anything past him and suddenly, my feet begin moving forward towards Sybil. She can’t see me coming but Megan looks up and suddenly begins smiling. Sybil turns to see the reason for the smile and I’ll be damned if there isn’t a hint of a blush on her cheeks. My smile widens as I stop right beside her. Her hair is blowing and she tries to tuck it behind her ear but I catch it for her and her cheeks turn a deeper red.

  “Well hello, Blaine.” Megan pipes up. Sybil clears her throat and tries to play off the fact that her face is a crimson red, but she’s not good at it.

  “Hey Megan,” I turn to Sybil. “Hey doll face.”

  She scrunches her nose and sticks her tongue out at me. “Did you really have to call me that?”

  “What else am I supposed to call you?”

  “We go through this everyday Blaine.” She sighs with her hand on her hip. I laugh watching her as she cocks her head to the side.

  “Well, you two have fun working. I have things to do, like study for Biology so Cory doesn’t fuss at me. I’m swamped already. I hate school.”

  “Well, let’s cancel dinner tonight and we can reschedule, so you can study.” Sybil tells her.

  It’s Megan’s turn to scrunch her nose as she waves bye and walks off. I scan the area one more time looking for any signs of Dante and when I feel it’s safe, I place my hand on the small of her back and guide us towards the bookstore. She doesn’t flinch or move my hand, she lets me guide her. I know this is a big step for her, I would never do anything I thought might make her uncomfortable.

  “Why did you really want my number?” she asks out of nowhere.

  I turn to face her, she’s looking at me curiously waiting for me to answer. “I told you, I wanted to make sure you got home safe.”

  “Hmm, ok. So that’s it? Just to make sure I got home safe? What does it matter to you?”

  Shit, she’s smart. I have to cover this up and fast before she starts to suspect something is wrong.

  “You had something to drink and I’m sure Cory did right? I wanted to make sure you were ok.”

  She stops and stares at me again. I’m worried she sees through me, I can’t screw this up. “Whatever you say. Do you always ask women you barely know their numbers?”

  “I know you.”

  “Not really. You know nothing about me.” That’s where she’s wrong, so very wrong.

  “Well, tell me something.”

  “My name is Sybil.” She smiles.

  “Smartass,” I say before I smack her on her ass. She yelps letting out a laugh as she runs for the bookstore. I want to chase her, push her up against the wall and kiss the hell out of her, but instead I shake my head smiling as I follow her.

  Chapter 11

  Sybil

  Blaine is smiling at me and I can’t help but smile back. What the hell is this guy doing to me? I thought it would be awkward to see him after the kiss we shared the other night, but it’s not. He isn’t treating me any differently, I mean he’s still calling me doll face for crying out loud. I won’t admit it to him, but I am getting attached to the nickname. I’m standing in front of a display of t-shirts trying to figure out which ones should go in front and I’m mindlessly holding the pearl in my hand. I haven’t taken the necklace off since Caleb’s mom gave it to me the other day. I really should store it in my jewelry box to keep it safe, but I feel like he is with me when I wear it. I feel stronger, I feel happier.

  “What are you thinking about?” Blaine whispers scaring the hell out of me.

  I jump before turning around letting the pearl land against my shirt. “I don’t know which shirt should be placed in front. Why aren’t you working?”

  “I already finished my job for the day, Horn wanted me to see if you needed help.” He smiles letting it reach his eyes. That damn smile is infectious and I smile back. He studies the shirts seriously before speaking up. “Well doll face, I think purple one should go in front and put the yellow ones behind them. Or if you wanted to shake things up, you could do one purple, one yellow, and so on.”

  “You think that could work? Let me see.” I grab the shirts and begin to place them in the order of his purple and yellow idea and they actually look really good. “I like them, good idea. Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome. See, and you said you would never need my help. I’m going to document this.”

  I can’t help but roll my eyes. “Whatever, you’re an ass.”

  “You have no idea.” He says smiling again. I shrug him off and finish straightening up different odds and ends around my area.

  He follows me around like a little puppy dog, watching my every move. He doesn’t let me out of his sight, which is sweet but at the same time, I’m wondering why he doesn’t go find something else to do. My stomach growls and I dismiss it quickly. I should have eaten lunch today but I got started talking to Megan and then had to come here.

  “Well, I think I’m done. Looks good don’t you think?” I ask him teasingly.

  “You’re perfect.” He says. I stare at him shocked knowing I heard him right. He catches onto what he said because he hurries and covers up by saying, “It’s perfect.”

  “You are something else Blaine.”

  “Tell me, what are you doing for dinner Sybil?”

  “Eating food.” I smile.

  “No shit, really? I didn’t know you ate food.”

  “Well yeah, hello, what did you think? I am human after all and humans do eat food.”

  “With you doll face, I have no idea. I wanted to see if
you want to grab a bite to eat after work.”

  My smile fades as I look at him. No one has asked me to do anything since Caleb, unless it was Megan and Cory. I feel like I’m shutting down all of a sudden and I have no clue why. I didn’t shut down after we kissed but he asks me to grab a bite to eat and it feels like the world is ending. Part of me wants to say yes, to take this plunge but the other part of me is cautioning me to leave it alone. It’s just food, people have to eat but I think tonight I just want to eat alone.

  “Can I take a rain check? I, uh, have some things to do.”

  He looks a little hurt by my answer. Nervously, he begins fidgeting in his pockets and shrugs his shoulders. “No problem. Can I at least walk you to your car?”

  I don’t see the harm in that, I can be nice and let him have this one thing. “Uh sure, but I don’t drive a car.”

  “What do you drive?”

  “A truck. I’m ready, let’s go.” We clock out and I walk out ahead of him. He catches up walking right beside me. He doesn’t say much of anything, I wonder if he’s still upset that I turned him down for food. If he is, he’ll get over it. His hand brushes against mine and my skin instantly tingles. I pull my hand away and stick it in my pocket trying to play the whole situation off. I hate how with barely a single touch, my body comes alive. I need to keep my body in check around him.

  I reach for my keys as we near the truck. I smile looking at it and hit the unlock button. “Whoa, this is yours doll face? This is nice as hell!” He begins walking around it, admiring everything from the rims to the leather interior.

  “Yep, all mine. Thanks, it gets me around.” I almost said it was Caleb’s, but Blaine has no idea about Caleb and I like to keep it that way. The last thing I want from Blaine is his sympathy.

  “So, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?” I ask.

  He looks off in the distance and his eyes darken. His face is serious, completely void of the humor he had just moments ago. I look to see what he’s looking at, but I see nothing. When I look back at him, his eyes are softened and he’s smiling at me. “Definitely. Be safe.”

  “I live like two blocks away, but ok father.” I wink at him and he smiles pulling me in for a hug. My body stiffens a little at his gesture but I loosen up and halfway hug him back. His cologne smells sweet and sexy all rolled into one, and I could literally stand here and smell him all day. When he pulls away, the smell lingers and his hands run down my arms before briefly linking with my fingers. The tingles are back in full force and I can’t move. I can’t breathe, I can’t do anything. He gives my hands a gentle squeeze before releasing my hands. They now feel sweaty and out of habit, I wipe them on my jeans.

  “See you later, Sybil.”

  “Right, later.” I stutter trying to regain my composure. I smile before turning to step into the truck.

  I can only wish for illegally tinted windows so he can’t see the cheesy grin on my face but I know he sees it because his grin is as bad as mine. My eyes glance towards the dashboard and I meet Caleb’s face. Waves of guilt consume me and I suddenly feel as though I can’t breathe. What am I doing? Here I am, the past five months having pretended everything is hunky dory and that I’ve moved on but truth is, I never have and I never will. I’m not over Caleb, he still owns me. Heart and soul.

  ***

  Blaine

  My gut told me to walk her to her truck and my gut was right. Dante was standing in the distance, watching and waiting. If she had been alone, he may have very well made his move and he would have made sure she knew who I was. I can’t let him blow that for me. I’m not ready for her to hate me yet, not when I’m finally getting her to talk to me. The more I see her though, the harder this gets. Hell, the more I touch her, the harder this gets. I can’t stop myself though. I want to touch her, I want to hold her hand and allow myself to feel all these strange things I do when I’m around her. I want to feel that electricity between us and I want to never let it go. I want to kiss her soft lips over and over again. Shit, I have it bad for her.

  I watch her drive away but I don’t see Dante again. He disappeared but he’ll be back, it’s what he does. He waits in the shadows, stalking his prey and when he feels the time is right, he’ll go in for the kill. I still have three weeks left, that’s what I keep telling myself. I have three more weeks to get Sybil to trust me more and then I can hopefully keep my mind straight enough to do what I came here for. I only pray she can forgive me.

  I pull my phone out ten minutes later and begin to text her. I need peace of mind, I need to know that she’s ok. With him around, in the blink of an eye everything can change and our worlds shatter.

  Me: Did you make it home?

  Almost immediately, she responds. I let out a sigh of relief as I read her text.

  Sybil: Yes father, thank you for checking on me.

  Me: You’re welcome doll face.

  She doesn’t respond, so I slide my phone back into my pocket and begin walking. I’m not ready to leave campus yet. Not until I find Dante and talk to him. I wander around campus, mindlessly watching students walk to and from classes. He’s easy to spot so I should have no problems. I haven’t seen many bald headed huge men on campus. I spotted him immediately while I stood beside Sybil moments ago. I’m stressing myself over this more than I should be right now but I can’t help it. If I smoked, I could have probably smoked half a damn pack by now. After walking around for half an hour, I decide to leave campus for the day. As I approach my truck, I see Dante standing right beside it. Bingo.

  “Dante.” I say trying to keep my cool.

  “Blaine.”

  We stare each other down for a few minutes. My fists are balled up at my side waiting for him to make the first move but he just stares at me longer.

  “You know why I’m here. I wouldn’t have to be here if you weren’t fucking this up.”

  “You don’t know shit Dante, so you and Landon need to mind your fucking business. I’m doing my job.”

  “Don’t push me Blaine, I’m watching her and you. I can’t believe Landon has me babysitting your pussy ass. He should have sent me here to begin with.”

  My face turns red as I thrust my finger in his face. “Leave her the fuck alone Dante. You come near her again, I’ll break your fucking legs. I want you to leave and let me do my job.”

  He grabs my hand and pushes it away forcefully. “You know I can’t do that. I wouldn’t be here if you weren’t fucking this up. May as well go ahead and write your obituary, you’re going to end up a dead man. Maybe you and the girl can be buried next to Caleb. Did I tell you I ran into her at his grave the other day? Her arms are so soft.”

  I cock my fist back ready to pummel his face in, but his hand envelopes mine and twists my arm. I wince in pain trying not to let him see just how much this fucking hurts. “You fucking asshole!”

  “I could have done the job right then and there. I hear she goes out there often.” He smiles taunting me. He squeezes my hand harder until I’m sure my bones will dissolve into dust. He gives one last squeeze before releasing my hand. It takes a moment for the blood to return and I’m grateful when it does.

  “I’m serious Dante, stay the fuck away. I swear to God if you touch her…”

  He turns around and walks off leaving me fuming and still in thought. I have completely fucked this up. It’s my fault, no one else’s, but mine.

  Chapter 12

  Sybil

  Angry. I’m angry with myself for ever pretending any of this was ok. Is it ok? For the past five months, I’ve lived my life as if my fiancé never committed suicide. I’ve lived as though my every dream wasn’t ripped to shreds in the most unforgiving manner. I’ve pretended to be ok, when deep down, I’m anything but. I lost the only man I’ve ever loved and I doubt I’ll ever meet anyone who means as much to me as he did.

  I drive away trying to see through the blurry tears that are forming. I’m sick of living safely like I have no feelings. I have feelings, dammit. As soon as
the truck is parked, I run out and make a beeline for the door. Once I’m inside and away from the world, I ball my hands to make a fist and angrily shake them as I fall sobbing on my knees. I don’t care how reckless I may be getting ready to be, I need to let this anger out. I need to be ok.

  I pull myself off the ground and decide it’s time to change clothes. I slip into a plain black t-shirt and a pair of blue jean capris. Once my hair is pulled back and sitting at the nape of my neck, I walk into the kitchen and grab the bottle of wine out of the refrigerator. I don’t want a glass. Glasses are for refined people, people without a care in the world. I’m broken. I’m the shards of glass lying in the abandoned house no one wants. I take the bottle and put it against my lips and drink it as though it were water. Carelessly, I toss the bottle into the sink and it explodes, crashing all over. I’ll clean it tomorrow. Tonight is all about me.

  ***

  This bar sure looks different when it’s not 80’s night. There are no throngs of people dancing around, no colorful clothes. There are just a few guys playing pool and several people sitting around the bar. My head feels a little light from guzzling the wine like it were water so I’m relieved to sit down.

  “What can I get you honey?”

  I look up to meet the eyes of the lady behind the bar. She’s smiling warmly at me and I try hard to smile but I can’t make my smile reach my eyes. “Can I get a shot of Jack and keep them coming please.”

  She looks at me waiting for me to laugh and ask for a cosmo or something girlie but I don’t budge. She fills a shot glass and slides it over to me, in exchange I slide my credit card to her and request a tab. About four shots later, my head is a lot fuzzier than earlier and I’m almost positive if I try to stand, I’ll fall straight on my ass. Way to go Sybil. You’ve made your point, now you need to leave.